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In the Name of God بسم الله

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786

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(salam)

Alhamdolillah, I make note of all things. And there exists the story of the Jewish woman who use to dump trash on the Prophet (saww) though he (pubh) did not react the way some do. OF COURSE, the Rasool (as) is infallible and we (humans) are not.

If your memory serves you right, it was you who had started the jibes and what not (in PMs as well as in some posts on SC), since the beginning of our correspondence. And if I'd reciprocate, you'd threaten to cut off ties because, as per your own Highly appraised self, ''I am not the only person you chat with (from SC)''.

Such grace is rare to be found.

Point to some.

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Guest shiaan e wali
Posted

(bismillah)(salam)

When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not.

Augusten Burroughs

"Are you one of those recreational smokers?" - jcn

"It's either this or cycling." - greg sewell

"The key thing, is that I'm an idiot."

- Oliver Sharp, my boss

"I keep getting mail from these people about, like, golf balls."

- Thomas Crulli

"I guess you're not as good of a butt scratcher as I am."

- Andrea Tartaro

"I almost got my dad a domain name for christmas... but he wouldn't use it." - Brian Fisk

"Yeah, your children will be midgets." - Dan Rosen

"That depends on which cousin I marry." - Channing Moore

"It's not wierd. It's not wierd. It's ethnic."

- Sarah Johnson

"I have a theory that if I rub my butt, Andy will appear."

- Dan Rosen

"Oh, I don't mean birthday in the literal sense, I mean the day I was first conceptualized..."

- Brian Fisk

"It's weird when you blow your nose and get bean sprouts..." - jcn

"Even weirder is when you get spaghetti..." - Dan Rosen

"You know Matt, if we're gonna have stuffing we should probably s[Edited Out] the potatoes and have some green vegetables . . . like corn."

- Andrew Schulak

~~~~~~~

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Posted

Quotes by Charlie Chaplin

I remain just one thing, and one thing only - and that is a clown.

It places me on a far higher plane than any politician

In the end, everything is a gag

Wars, conflict, it's all business. One murder makes a villain.

Millions a hero. Numbers sanctify

I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President

Life could be wonderful if people would leave you alone

To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it!

Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of oneself

Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot

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Posted

One of the most difficult things in the world is to convince a woman that even a bargain costs money. Edgar Watson Howe

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success! Doug Larson

Start every day with a smile and get it over with. W.C. Fields

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. Mickey Rooney

I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. Erica Jong

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Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo - H. G. Wells

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter - Sir Winston Churchill

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Posted

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

-- Ray Romano

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Posted

786

___

(salam)

Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon as they are born, and they start using sleep deprivation to break you.

-- Ray Romano

Tell MOI about it. I've been sleep deprived for three darn years. :cry:

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Posted

Quotes by Jonny Depp

I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots

I'm shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I've done everything I can to avoid it

I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing

France, and the whole of Europe have a great culture and an amazing history. Most important thing though is that people there know how to live! In America they've forgotten all about it. I'm afraid that the American culture is a disaster

I think everybody's nuts, to tell you the truth. I think everybody is absolutely out of their heads all the time. Watch people sometimes. Just watch people. People are absolutely insane. They just are. Look at us! - My fave

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Posted

Love your enemies. It'll make 'em crazy.

Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech. -- Martin Fraquhar Tupper

Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.

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Posted

We are the people our parents warned us about.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning. -- Aristotle Onassis

To err is human. To forgive is unusual.

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Attention to health is life greatest hindrance. -- Plato

It's not that you and I are so clever, but that the others are such fools.

It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am.

You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.

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Posted

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.

Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?

The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

Guest shiaan e wali
Posted (edited)

(bismillah)(salam)

Lovely - reminds me of the warmth the Lucy show use to exude to its viewers.

Miss that show now [coz I hardly watch TV].

Edited by shiaan e wali
  • Advanced Member
Posted

786

___

(salam)

Quotes by Jonny Depp

I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots

I'm shy, paranoid, whatever word you want to use. I hate fame. I've done everything I can to avoid it

I pretty much try to stay in a constant state of confusion just because of the expression it leaves on my face

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them

Trips to the dentist - I like to postpone that kind of thing

France, and the whole of Europe have a great culture and an amazing history. Most important thing though is that people there know how to live! In America they've forgotten all about it. I'm afraid that the American culture is a disaster

I think everybody's nuts, to tell you the truth. I think everybody is absolutely out of their heads all the time. Watch people sometimes. Just watch people. People are absolutely insane. They just are. Look at us! - My fave

Also lovely. :)

Guest shiaan e wali
Posted (edited)

(bismillah)(salam)

Quotes on Americans

In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.

A. E. Housman

Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.

Dan Rather

Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.

Gore Vidal

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.

H. L. Mencken

*Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.

J. Bartlett Brebner

George Washington had a vision for this country. Was it three days of uninterrupted shopping?

Jeff Melvoin

Ninety-eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hard-working, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then--we elected them.

Lily Tomlin

Sitting at the table doesn't make you a diner, unless you eat some of what's on that plate. Being here in America doesn't make you an American. Being born here in America doesn't make you an American.

Malcolm X

An Englishman is a person who does things because they have been done before. An American is a person who does things because they haven't been done before.

Mark Twain

The people of the United States, perhaps more than any other nation in history, love to abase themselves and proclaim their unworthiness, and seem to find refreshment in doing so... That is a dark frivolity, but still frivolity.

Robertson Davies

Edited by shiaan e wali
  • Advanced Member
Posted (edited)

786

___

(salam)

Turn the world over on its side and everything loose will land in Los Angeles.

Frank Lloyd Wright

There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.

Jawaharlal Nehru

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Andrew W. Mathis

I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

Charles M. Schulz

Cabbage: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Ambrose Bierce

Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength.

Betty Friedan

Study without desire spoils the memory, and it retains nothing that it takes in.

Leonardo da Vinci (1452 - 1519)

If indeed you must be candid, be candid beautifully.

Kahlil Gibran

Americans adore me and will go on adoring me until I say something nice about them.

George Bernard Shaw

I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away.

Oscar Levant (1906 - 1972)

Sooner or later we all quote our mothers.

Bern Williams

Let thy speech be short, comprehending much in a few words.

Aprocrypha

Life is tough, and if you have the ability to laugh at it you have the ability to enjoy it.

Salma Hayek

Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening.

Barbara Tober

If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going.

Professor Irwin Corey

The highest proof of virtue is to possess boundless power without abusing it.

Lord Macaulay

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

Charles de Gaulle

Perfection is a road, not a destination. Every time I live, I get an education.

Burk Hudson

I'm struck by the insidious, computer-driven tendency to take things out of the domain of muscular activity and put them into the domain of mental activity. The transfer is not paying off. Sure, muscles are unreliable, but they represent several million years of accumulated finesse.

Brian Eno

Edited by RehmatGul
Guest shiaan e wali
Posted

(bismillah)(salam)

“Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.”

Bill Cosby

“I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'”

Jerry Seinfield

“It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously.”

Oscar Wilde

“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road.”

Henry Ward Beecher

“Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'”

Charles M. Schulz

“Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night”

Dave Barry

“Eskimo: "If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?" Priest: "No, not if you did not know." Eskimo: "Then why did you tell me?"”

Annie Dillard

“Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.”

-Unknown

“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”

Drew Carey

“The kind of humor I like is the thing that makes me laugh for five seconds and think for ten minutes.”

William Davis

“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”

George Carlin

“Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things”

George Carlin

“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.”

George Carlin

Enjoy!

:)

  • Advanced Member
Posted

786

___

(salam)

“Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.”

William James

“A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life.”

Hugh Sidey

“It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor.”

Max Eastman

“A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done”

Dwight David Eisenhower

“I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it.”

Frank A. Clark

“Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is”

Francis Bacon

“It's lack of faith that makes people afraid of meeting challenges, and I believed in myself.”

Muhammad Ali

“A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming, understand the unconventional, tolerated the unpleasant, overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable”

Billy Graham

“The most valuable sense of humor is the kind that enables a person to see instantly what it isn't safe to laugh at”

“Keep your sense of humor. As General Joe Stillwell said, "The higher a monkey climbs, the more you see of his behind."”

Donald Rumsfeld

“No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor.”

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

“A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and truth in front of patriotic passion”

Henry Louis Mencken

“What restrains us from killing is partly fear of punishment, partly moral scruple, and partly what may be described as a sense of humor”

Henry Louis Mencken

“My favorite review described me as the cinematic equivalent of junk mail.”

Steve Buscemi

“Nothing in man is more serious than his sense of humor; it is the sign that he wants all the truth.”

Mark van Doren

  • Advanced Member
Posted

Thanks Khairun.:)

If you cannot see the bright side of life,polish the dull side.

Husband:Which book do you like the best?

Wife:Your cheque book. :P

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Posted

From sykomod's signature

Smile: if you can't lift the corners, let the middle sag - Anonymous

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Posted
If sins had a smell, no one would sit next to each other.

Wonderful.

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them

Lol, loved it!!

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty-Chris Rock

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