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In the Name of God بسم الله
b7ue

What are the rights of the husband and what are the rights of the wife

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I am new to Islam, and so I am trying to learn as much as possible about it. To not only find the knowledge but also find it in respectable sources. Considering the amount of closed-minded propaganda out there, this has proven to be quite a challenge.

I have just earlier today looked at some topics on male-female relationships in islam. This is one of the websites and subtopics I have stumbled upon

http://www.islam-qa.com/index.php?QR=10680&ln=eng

There is a phrase that has caught my eye, and I didn't really know how to understand it or what context to see it in, I am specifically referring to the section of underlined text: " Spending. The scholars of Islam are agreed that it is obligatory for husbands to spend on their wives, on the condition that the wife make herself available to her husband. If she refuses him or rebels, then she is not entitled to that spending.

The reason why it is obligatory to spend on her is that the woman is available only to her husband, because of the marriage contract, and she is not allowed to leave the marital home except with his permission. So he has to spend on her and provide for her, and this is in return for her making herself available to him for his pleasure."

This kind of confused me, because I know that the Qur'an specifically makes references to mates being equal. I just wanted to get clarification on this.

My questions are:

1. Is this website a reliable , truthful source of information?

2. Is the context of the husband's role in the point on "spending" directly derived from the Qur'an or the Sharia?

3. If it is, can anyone shed more light or expand the husbands role in marriage?

4. Is there any difference between how sunni's and shia's see this topic?

Please feel free to point me to the right resources regarding this topic, or to provide any extra explanations or information. I will gladly read all of it to gain more understanding.

Thank you. :)

Edited by b7ue

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Please feel free to point me to the right resources regarding this topic, or to provide any extra explanations or information. I will gladly read all of it to gain more understanding.

Thank you. :)

The Rights of Women in Islam is a very good text on the subject.

It is always better to learn from a scholar than from lay persons like us.

Happy reading. @)

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Thanks for the replies and the link, very useful. I guess I was also curious if any members of this forum who are muslim have bumped into something similar and what they have learned about it or how they clarified it themselves. If anyone has more to add to this please let me know.

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Absolutely! I completely agree that there is much more depth to marriage than meeting the minimum requirements.

Going back to what you were saying about the wife requiring her husband's permission to go out publicly, would you say that most muslims adhere to this at all, strictly, somewhat, or not really? I guess I'm just trying to establish if there is a consensus on this one way or another, or if many couples have a choice of doing things differently. I understand that there is a rule or recommendation that they should ideally follow, but in your opinion, do you find that they indeed do or not really?

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(salam)

Basically, the husband has two rights in marriage - the right to disallow her to exit the house without his permission and the right for her to be available when he pleases (unless she has a legitimate excuse like she's sick).

However, keep in mind that marriage contracts exist in many Muslim marriages and are even promoted in Islam. There are a few things to keep in mind here. Firstly, what woman in their right mind would be willing to marry someone who she thought would keep her locked up in the home. So the choosing of your spouse is important. Secondly, as sis smiley mentioned - marriage is about more than just the minimal requirements. Thirdly and most importantly is the right of the woman to enter a marriage contract. If a woman wants to feel absolutely secure that he wont exercise this right 24/7 then she can put it in her marriage contract and then he will not be able to exercise this right when she isn't happy with this decision and will lead to a divorce.

The reasoning behind the 'being available' right is that Islam has very strict rules regarding the controlling of sexual desires. In Islam, adultery/rape is one of the biggest sins, fornication is forbidden, masturbating is forbidden and even 'checking out' another woman is forbidden. Thus the only way he can do put his urges into action is with his wife. Islam recognises that people have sexual needs which should not be completely suppressed and thus provides the highly recommended option of marriage for this. Islam is a religion of moderation - it does not allow fornication, touching other women/men, checking them out and so on. However, it doesn't tell people that they have to be completely celibate either (this is actually highly discouraged). Instead, it focuses on the middle way between these two states and that is marriage.

The wife has a right to have sexual relations with her husband atleast once in four months (?....or perhaps it's 3 months, not entirely sure). I think the being available right also applies to the wife - ie. she has the right to have her husband available for her whenever she pleases......but this obviously would not apply practically if he didn't want it.

So the reasoning behind the whole being available right is that Islam recognises that humans need to have their sexual urges fulfildle......and since fornication/adultery/masturbation/watching porn etc etc are all forbidden, it provides a way of ensuring that these sexual urges can be fulfilled in a halal way - the right to have ur spouse available to you whenever you please.

But as has been mentioned before, also keep in mind that marriage is about alot more than just minimal standards and strict rights/responsibilities.......and that there's always the option of marriage contracts for anyone who does not feel comfortable with this.

There is a saying - ''what's yours is mine, what's mine is mine''. This saying perfectly describes the rights of women in Islamic marriages. The wife has the right to be maintained/fed/clothed etc etc. She automatically shares ownership of the money her husband earns. However, if she decides to work and earns her own money then this money is hers to keep and there is no obligation for her to share it with her husband or spend it on him.

She has the right not to do any housework - the responsibility of ensuring the housework is done lies with the husband (but once again, keep in mind that marriage is about more than minimum standards and that the woman should do it out of her own compassion).

She has the right to a dowry when they first get married. She chooses the price/content of the dowry - the purpose of this is to ensure that if the marriage goes wrong, that she will be able to be financially independent.

The quran does mention that mates are equal - but this equality refers to equality in worth and status, not necessarily equality in rights and responsibilities. For example, children unlike adults do not have voting rights. This does not mean there is inequality - when we say that all humans are equal, we mean that they are equal in terms of worth and status, not necessarily that they must have equal rights and responsibilities. So similarly, husband and wife have equal worth before the eyes of Allah but they have different roles, rights and responsibilities.

Btw sis, I must commend you on your effort to gain objective information and increase your knowledge. It is truly admirable and I wish everyone were as sincere as you.

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(bismillah)

salaam

to the original poster i felt from your words you have confusion about the gender equality

equality doesnt mean they are identical..... it means justice and equal value.....

in islam the right of the man over the wife is very big, other than special conditions she is never alowed to deny him herslef at anytime upon his request.

he is obligated to provide living for his family

the above two facts are true about islam but your understanding of equality needs elaboration..... each gender has different biology... different physic,,,,, different abilities and hence different roles.

its not an issue of inferiority and superiority complexes rather than difefrentn roles complementing eachother

my understanding of islam is based on the theory of complementing eachother not the pyramid and the hiracki theory. even with prophets and infailibles i dont see one better than the other.

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Thirdly and most importantly is the right of the woman to enter a marriage contract. If a woman wants to feel absolutely secure that he wont exercise this right 24/7 then she can put it in her marriage contract and then he will not be able to exercise this right when she isn't happy with this decision and will lead to a divorce.

(salam)

Very excellent post. My only question is about the above. I am not aware of any circumstance where a women can abbrogate an inherent marriage right thru the marriage contract. An example of this would be to abbrogate the above right or , for instance, put in the contract that the women is not obliged to have relations with him. From my knowledge of Fiqh(which is very limited), putting these conditions would make the marriage contract invalid. If she is not sure how the man will exercise this right, she should just put in the marriage contract that she has the right to ask for a divorce. That would solve it without invalidating the contract.

There are very good reasons for putting this condition as part of the marriage, which are not immediately apparent. I will give you an example, which actually occured in this community.

A Muhajiba (women who wears the proper Islamic dress) wakes up one day and decides she is not going to wear the hijab anymore. The husband, who is a religious man, is outraged and demands that she put the hijab on again. She refuses. Say (hypothetically) they had put in their marriage contract that she has the right to leave the house without his permission. She leaves the house and irrepairable damage is done to the marriage. Now the only option is divorce. In Islam, as you know, divorce is the most hated by Allah(s.w.a) of the permissable things. If the husband has the right to keep her in the house, she may realize the error she has made and the family honor and dignity can be salvaged along with the marriage.

I would like to read your reply to this case,

Again, very nice post. :D

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Salaam alaikum

Bro the thinking may be that a woman can put in the contract that her husband can not refuse her to go out say if she wants to go out to go school, do charity, or work, or maybe to visit her parents when she wants.

However as stated above most husbands don't abuse this right and have no qualms about their wives doing these things to begin with. However some women want the percaution. I know the only time my husband has ever "excercised this right" is when my daughter and I finally got out of canada after 9/11 and got home. He asked that I stay inside until he was able to fly home (we were on seperate flights) so that he could go with me were ever I had to go, becasue he was concerned with our safety.

wa salaam

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(bismillah)

can she put in her contract that the husband should not pray?

likewise she cant put anything in the contract that contradicts islam

and all laws which oppose the islamic law invalidate the contract because one fact taken for granted in all contrracts is " islam"

its logical

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(bismillah)

can she put in her contract that the husband should not pray?

likewise she cant put anything in the contract that contradicts islam

and all laws which oppose the islamic law invalidate the contract because one fact taken for granted in all contrracts is " islam"

its logical

That was my point.

Sis lilacfatima's post clarified some intentions as to why the women would want to put the contract, but I think the point remains.

If you specify that you don't need the husband's permission to say, go to the store, see your parents (provided that your parents aren't into any haram things), go to school, etc, that is fine under normal circumstances and I don't think any reasonable husband would object to that, and not let you go. All I am saying is that if you put this in the marriage contract, it is an absolute, and you have the absolute right to exercise it under any circumstances. That might not be a good thing all of the time and for all couples, otherwise, Allah(s.w.a) wouldn't have given men this right.

This issue goes back to the root problem or 'rush marriages' in many Muslim countries. There are other problems that stem from this. Many ladies get married and don't really know their husband at all and vis versa. I'm quite sure that if a pious Muslims lady got to know her husband and found out he was generally an unreasonable person, she would not marry him at all, thus solving the contract problem. There are some women that don't mind staying at home most of the time, and some women who hate it. I have known both types. There is nothing wrong with either way, Islamically.

Bottom line, you should know who you are marrying.

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in islam the right of the man over the wife is very big, other than special conditions she is never alowed to deny him herslef at anytime upon his request.

To the orginal poster, see other posts for a better treatment of this.

To ali, I wouldn't say that "the right of man over the wife is very big". They both have rights over each other, as it should be. The wife has the right to certain things from her husband and the husband has the right to certain things from his wife.

Its clear that Islam focuses on marriage being a relationship of compromise, compassion, and caring.

Another very important point:

As some have mentioned, we are discussing minimum requirements. But Islam goes beyond this and strongly encourages certain behavior.

For example, it is highly encouraged to do your utmost to please your spouse and not impose any hardship on them.

Lastly, do not misunderstand what is ment by minimum requirements. These are not the bare minimum actions that guarantee salvation / paradise. Far from it, these are the lines that, if crossed, constitute as sin. Many actions that are within these minimum boundaries are abhorred by Islam and the Quran/Hadith specifically denounce them.

For example, if a husband 'locks up' his wife. Islam detests such an act -- though it is not explicitly prohibited if you only look at 'minimums'.

Edited by soldierofali

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^

Very well said, bro soldierofali.

Abu Hadi, I don't think that making a marriage contract shows distrust in the person you want to marry. Islam has given men two very important rights on their wives, and those should not be touched (and I don't even think it is islamically permissible to change those two rights). However, there are lots of other things that can be addressed. For instance, right to work, right to education, etc etc. If anything, it outlines the things that are really important for a woman in a marriage.

As I mentioned in another thread about marriage contracts, pleasing our husbands and seeking their permission for things is highly recommended, and there are many hadiths that encourage women to be obedient to their husbands. However, men are NOT recommended to be obedient to their wives by any stretch of the imagination. Therefore, for example, if education was very important for me, I would specify it in my marriage contract so my husband knows that this is something that is important to me. On the other hand, my permission is not needed for my husband to go get his education.

I don't think it is a sign of distrust- it just outlines the things that are extremely important for the woman in a marriage, and things she will not compromise on. It is better to lay those things out on the table before marriage, than having all sorts of complications arise later on.

Wasalaam

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Guest Katayon

(salam)

i would reconsider using islam-qa as your source.

try www.al-islam.org

here are some info on rights in islam

Imam Sajjad(A.S.) » The Treatise on Rights

http://www.imamreza.net/eng/imamreza.php?id=291

http://al-islam.org/sahifa/

The Rights of Women in Islam by Ayatullah Murtada Mutahhari

http://www.al-islam.org/rightsofwomeninislam/

http://al-islam.org/marriageandfamily/

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(salam)

Very excellent post. My only question is about the above. I am not aware of any circumstance where a women can abbrogate an inherent marriage right thru the marriage contract. An example of this would be to abbrogate the above right or , for instance, put in the contract that the women is not obliged to have relations with him. From my knowledge of Fiqh(which is very limited), putting these conditions would make the marriage contract invalid. If she is not sure how the man will exercise this right, she should just put in the marriage contract that she has the right to ask for a divorce. That would solve it without invalidating the contract.

There are very good reasons for putting this condition as part of the marriage, which are not immediately apparent. I will give you an example, which actually occured in this community.

A Muhajiba (women who wears the proper Islamic dress) wakes up one day and decides she is not going to wear the hijab anymore. The husband, who is a religious man, is outraged and demands that she put the hijab on again. She refuses. Say (hypothetically) they had put in their marriage contract that she has the right to leave the house without his permission. She leaves the house and irrepairable damage is done to the marriage. Now the only option is divorce. In Islam, as you know, divorce is the most hated by Allah(s.w.a) of the permissable things. If the husband has the right to keep her in the house, she may realize the error she has made and the family honor and dignity can be salvaged along with the marriage.

I would like to read your reply to this case,

Again, very nice post. :D

(salam)

Yes, you're right, she's not allowed to put in her marriage contract that ''you are not allowed to forbid me from leaving the house when I wish to leave the house'' - this is his right. However, sha can put in her marriage contract ''if you forbid me from leaving the house when I wish to leave the house, I will divorce you'' - so in effect, it's the same thing. This is why earlier on I stated:

''If a woman wants to feel absolutely secure that he wont exercise this right 24/7 then she can put it in her marriage contract and then he will not be able to exercise this right when she isn't happy with this decision and will lead to a divorce.''

It's like, for example, a woman is not allowed to put in her marriage contract that he cannot marry another woman while he's with her. But she can put in her contract that if he marries another woman while he's with her, that she will get a divorce. Sorry for not being clear about the issue.

So in the case you mentioned, stating in her marriage contract that ''you cannot forbid me from leaving the house'' would have been an invalid clause. But from my knowledge, she can put in her contract that if he forbids her from leaving the house, she can divorce him. So either way, it will lead to divorce :squeez: .....which is one reason why I stated that in effect, it's the same as putting ''you cannot forbid me from leaving the house''.

From my knowledge this is how it is, I had read it a while ago but I'll double check just to be sure.

_____________________

As a side note.......I don't think making a marriage contract shows distrust either. If you didn't trust somebody, you wouldn't be voluntarily marrying them in the first place.

wasalaam

Edited by ~RuQaYaH~

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(salam)

So in the case you mentioned, stating in her marriage contract that ''you cannot forbid me from leaving the house'' would have been an invalid clause. But from my knowledge, she can put in her contract that if he forbids her from leaving the house, she can divorce him. So either way, it will lead to divorce :squeez: .....which is one reason why I stated that in effect, it's the same as putting ''you cannot forbid me from leaving the house''.

From my knowledge this is how it is, I had read it a while ago but I'll double check just to be sure.

_____________________

As a side note.......I don't think making a marriage contract shows distrust either. If you didn't trust somebody, you wouldn't be voluntarily marrying them in the first place.

wasalaam

I only had two points. You answered the first one above. I probably misread your original post. :squeez: . For some reason, I thought you stated that you could put this in the marriage contract, ie ''you cannot forbid me from leaving the house'' . I realize now that you didn't say this and your point was more nuanced

My second point was that I think that in many places, people do not have an opportunity to get to know their spouse, before they are married. I am not saying this because I agree with all the Western mumbo jumbo about 'sexual compatibility, etc, etc', but you need to know if you would get along personality wise. I know many beautiful, good, pious Muslimas that I thank Allah(s.w.a) every day that I am not married to them :huh: , because our personalities are totally different and we would be arguing all the time. That was the point, but maybe that should be in another thread.

Mod's take me away in cuffs :unsure:

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I only had two points. You answered the first one above. I probably misread your original post. :squeez: . For some reason, I thought you stated that you could put this in the marriage contract, ie ''you cannot forbid me from leaving the house'' . I realize now that you didn't say this and your point was more nuanced

My second point was that I think that in many places, people do not have an opportunity to get to know their spouse, before they are married. I am not saying this because I agree with all the Western mumbo jumbo about 'sexual compatibility, etc, etc', but you need to know if you would get along personality wise. I know many beautiful, good, pious Muslimas that I thank Allah(s.w.a) every day that I am not married to them :huh: , because our personalities are totally different and we would be arguing all the time. That was the point, but maybe that should be in another thread.

Mod's take me away in cuffs :unsure:

(salam)

My bad, I thought u were implying that marriage contracts aren't a good idea. :blush: I totally agree with your second point, it's unfortunate that so many people rush their marriages.

You're talking to someone who plans on having a 3 year engagement because she wants to feel secure that she has gotten to know her fiance properly before getting married - so you can trust that I wholeheartedly agree! :lol:

wasalaam

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(salam)

My bad, I thought u were implying that marriage contracts aren't a good idea. :blush: I totally agree with your second point, it's unfortunate that so many people rush their marriages.

You're talking to someone who plans on having a 3 year engagement because she wants to feel secure that she has gotten to know her fiance properly before getting married - so you can trust that I wholeheartedly agree! :lol:

wasalaam

(salam)

Good for you, although, to me, three years seems a little long. :o

Give the guy a break

The longest I've seen a guy put up 'the act' in a flawless performance is six months.

Into the sixth month, he was given to stutterning (although he didn't have this problem previously), he was lifting very heavy things for fun, and was taking baths with ice cubes in the water. He was my roommate. That was a bad scene. I hope that doesn't happen to your future hubby. I think your worth waiting for though

Of course the women that I am in love with, my wife of 6 years , is also named Rukaiyah, so I'm probably biased

Edited by Abu Hadi

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(bismillah)

It's like, for example, a woman is not allowed to put in her marriage contract that he cannot marry another woman while he's with her. But she can put in her contract that if he marries another woman while he's with her, that she will get a divorce. Sorry for not being clear about the issue.

conditions that forbid the hallal of god and allow the haraam of god by boycotting (divorce) or any other method are definatly haraam:

this condition is haraam and invalid

khooomainy

shahroody

Edited by alimohamad40

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(salam)

Good for you, although, to me, three years seems a little long. :o

Give the guy a break

The longest I've seen a guy put up 'the act' in a flawless performance is six months.

Into the sixth month, he was given to stutterning (although he didn't have this problem previously), he was lifting very heavy things for fun, and was taking baths with ice cubes in the water. He was my roommate. That was a bad scene. I hope that doesn't happen to your future hubby. I think your worth waiting for though

Of course the women that I am in love with, my wife of 6 years , is also named Rukaiyah, so I'm probably biased

:o That's so wierd. I hope that doesn't happen with my future hubby too :squeez:. My 3year thing is not so much because I'm scared that they'll be putting up an act but more because I think it's important to get to know a person reallyyy well before marriage. It depends on the particular situation though - there are some people who you hang out with for a day and you learn everything there is to know about them and then there are other people who you've known for years and then they do things or say things that take you by surprise and make you question whether you know this person as well as you thought u did.

(bismillah)

conditions that forbid the hallal of god and allow the haraam of god by boycotting (divorce) or any other method are definatly haraam:

this condition is haraam and invalid

khooomainy

shahroody

Brother that's incorrect. That condition is halal and perfectly valid according to most, if not all marjas. You are not a marja, please refrain from making fatwas.

http://www.shiachat.com/forum/index.php?showtopic=68240

wasalaam

Edited by ~RuQaYaH~

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(bismillah)

those who say this condition is hallal have jahl in the fundementals of fiqh.

the fatwas say that the divorce will be valid but it doesnt mean the person who makes such a condition is not commiting a haraam act

similaar to a case where a very evil man who drinks alchohol, doesnt pray and hates to see his wife praying divorces his wife sololy because she prays and doesnt drink,,, his divorce will be legally valid and this is entirly a legal matter irralavent of wether or not his divorce was a hallal or a haraam action.... so i cant grab fatwa stating that his divorce is legal and try to use it to backup his evil actions

definatly boycotting some one sololy for the mentioned reasons is a big sin specially noting that most prophets and infailibles practised those actions which will mean we are boycotting the folowers of imam mahdi at this time

Edited by alimohamad40

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(bismillah)

those who say this condition is hallal have jahl in the fundementals of fiqh.

the fatwas say that the divorce will be valid but it doesnt mean the person who makes such a condition is not commiting a haraam act

similaar to a case where a very evil man who drinks alchohol, doesnt pray and hates to see his wife praying divorces his wife sololy because she prays and doesnt drink,,, his divorce will be legally valid and this is entirly a legal matter irralavent of wether or not his divorce was a hallal or a haraam action.... so i cant grab fatwa stating that his divorce is legal and try to use it to backup his evil actions

definatly boycotting some one sololy for the mentioned reasons is a big sin specially noting that most prophets and infailibles practised those actions which will mean we are boycotting the folowers of imam mahdi at this time

Are you serious? :blink:

Marja's would not permit the inclusion of such a condition within a contract if it was haram. Also, it might help if you carefully read the wording of the fatwas so that it's cleared up for you (eg: ''there is no harm in doing so''....which means that it's not only valid but perfectly halal).

Once again, you're not a marja so please refrain from making fatwas.

wasalaam

Edited by ~RuQaYaH~

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(bismillah)

the islamic government doesnt ask you for the reason behind your divorce and divorces some times happen for personal reasons, you dotn have to say teh reason thats why they tell you if you make your self attorny of him to divorce your self its hallal.

its worth mentioning that the act is haraam if the sole reason is for example to prevent polygamy.

preventing polygamy is the same as preventing mut3a and what omar did. wether it happens by inforcing laws or boycot they are all different methods of making the hallal into haraam,

and i disagree with these fatwas because they mention nothing about teh fact that its haraam to disble the laws of Allah

then why do they say omar is bad??? he disabled mut3a///

he didnt say the prophet made mut3a haraam he did exactly like what you people are doing ,,,

he said we dont need it we have permenant marrige instead and he boycotted and punished anyone who supported or practised it.

he made the hallal into a haraam.

note that there are other marja3s who say opposite to these fatwas and they are right and these ones are wrong.... as simple as that.

and in this issue i am a mujtahid because i have investigated it more than many of these people.

you have shahroody and khomaini and maybe even some others who say otherwise and say such condition is haraam and this is the islamic openion

remember how do you gurantee that polygamy is not going to be wajib on your husband and you make such a condition to prevent him?

if it is wajib then you are forcing him to commit a haraam and that sort of condition is haraam

even if him refraining from it is not haraam but any condition that prohibits the hallal and allows the haraam is definatly haraaam full stop

also how do you gurantee the secodn wife will give away her right???

who gave you the authority to take the rights of other people?

also what a sunnah you ar etrying to create???? didnt almost all our prophets and imams married multiple wives?

now go to the fatwas you have sent me and read the answer of one of them about wether its mustahab or wajib or whatever look what he answers :-

he says " polygamy is against being nice to her "

now if this is the level of knowledge that our scholars have gone to then why do you expect me to imitate them in some thing that they are talking rubbsih about? i only imitate them in what they know what they are talking about....

is it nice to say that almost all our prophets and imams commited some thing that is "against being nice and kind to the wives"

is it nice to say that the lifestyle and the sunnah of almost all our prophets and imams "is not mustahab and is against being nice to the wife"

is it nice to say that the lifestyle and the sunnah of almost all our prophets and imams better to not do it as a precationary measure??

who are our role models? these peopel with teh turbens or the infailibles?

do you think imams mahdis supporters agree with this nonesense?

what nonesense are they saying?

Edited by alimohamad40

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those who say this condition is hallal have jahl in the fundementals of fiqh.

...

and i disagree with these fatwas because they mention nothing about teh fact that its haraam to disble the laws of Allah

...

note that there are other marja3s who say opposite to this and they are right and these ones are wrong....

It seems you honestly believe that you know more than maraje. So I have to ask, what background do you have in figh? Most marje spend over 20 years studying Islamic jurisprudence, poring over every hadith and every ayah. They read hundreds of books.

You feel quite at ease criticizing someone of this background, so surely your exposure to figh must be at an equal or greater level.

And before you point to some (as of yet unnamed) marje that supports you, please remember that you went well beyond simply acknowledging a difference in opinion. All maraje agree that there is difference of opinion in some figh matters. But you go so far as to say some are right and others are wrong (and ignorant of figh).

So either prove to me that you are knowledgeable enough to give your interpretation of hadith/quran (i.e. you are a mujtahid) or that a marje supports you viewpoint exactly (including that other maraje who disagree are ignorant in figh).

Since you will be able to neither of these, could you at least cite some source that agrees with you? Surely someone in the entire Islamic world takes your position?

Edited by soldierofali

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(bismillah)

what if no one agrees with me does that make my openion wrong if it is supported by all the solid evidence??? i said many times that some agree with my openion like shahroody and khoomainy and maybe others but i am not intrested in what they all say because i already know it. taqleed is for some one who doesnt know it. if i know it better than them how can i imitate them?

in this issue i am mujtahid and folow no one.

now you read thier openion from teh link the sister pasted

i chalenge them to give one right narration saying polygamy is not mustahab.

now if you read thier nonesense you will see many of them are saying its not mustahab.

they study 1000 years in hadeeths and they dont know that polygamy was the lifestyle and sunnah of almost all our holy prophets and imams and the good people throughout history??

they study 1000 years and dont know that you cant put haraam conditions in your marrige contract?

they study 1000 years and they say " practising polygamy is against being nice to the wife? that means the meanest people in history are our prophets and 12 imams "

they study so many hadeths and dont know that imam ali said " the jealousy of women is kufr" and a condition driven by kufr is haraam?

they study so much and dont know that prohibiting the halalal is a haraam act?

they study so many years and dont know the polygamy can be wajib on the man and preventing him can be haraam if its wajib on him? and hwo do they gurantee that it wont be wajib on him? and if they gurantee now how does he or them can guranjtee that in the future it wont be wajib on him?

and how do they gurantee that the second wife is happy to give away her right?

all thier study and they dont know that a couple cant disable a right if it invlvoves the right of a third party other than them? do they give up the second wife's right in proxy for her?

over this chatboard we dont knwo eachother so the best way we can do is to provide evidence and add to the knowledge not by trying to discredit the otherside.

all thier 1000 years study and they dont know that boycotting some one for practising his god given right which could be wajib on him just liek prayer is a haraam act?

all thier study and dotn know that creating a sunnah against the prophets and against the religion is bad?

give all these questions to all of them and see what they answer you

Edited by alimohamad40

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On 7/17/2006 at 12:04 PM, ~RuQaYaH~ said:

In Islam, adultery/rape is one of the biggest sins, fornication is forbidden, masturbating is forbidden and even 'checking out' another woman is forbidden. Thus the only way he can do put his urges into action is with his wife. Islam recognises that people have sexual needs which should not be completely suppressed and thus provides the highly recommended option of marriage for this. Islam is a religion of moderation - it does not allow fornication, touching other women/men, checking them out and so on. However, it doesn't tell people that they have to be completely celibate either (this is actually highly discouraged). Instead, it focuses on the middle way between these two states and that is marriage.

So the reasoning behind the whole being available right is that Islam recognises that humans need to have their sexual urges fulfildle......and since fornication/adultery/masturbation/watching porn etc etc are all forbidden, it provides a way of ensuring that these sexual urges can be fulfilled in a halal way - the right to have ur spouse available to you whenever you please.

If someone cannot get married, then he has no option other than completely suppressing the sexual desire.  Although people need to fulfill their sexual desires, Islam gives that option only to married people. For those who cannot get married, their life has to be similar to celibates, as they are not permitted to even have any forbidden sexual thoughts. 

An unmarried person has no right or justification to fulfill his desires in any way at all. No matter how extremely difficult this may be, absolute and complete suppression of sexual urges to the point that the person does not even think of indulging in any sin is required from unmarried people. So we cannot say that everyone needs to fulfill their sexual urges. While the married people have the full liberty to fulfill their urges, the unmarried must remain 100% abstinent like celibates with not even the thought of sexual sins entering the mind. 

Edited by Liggel

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