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Dhulfiqar

How to keep sisters quiet - Need your help, sisters.

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Salaamun Alaikum,

This actually a sad story,

Last night a mosque had a program for community members to tour the construction site of the center. They told the monimeen that there will be Jamaat on the construction site and those present in the Jamat will have their names on a brick saying they were the first to pray here. The program initially took place at the Mosque but later moved to the construction site.

To make a long story short, I had to break my prayer three times while in jamat because I could not hear a word the Imam was saying. And it just wasn't me. There many ppl still in sojood while the imam was doing Qunoot because they were unable to hear the imam. And yes, the imam had a mic. Why?

Not ONE women read salat in Jama'at. The whole pupose of this program was to read salah in Jama'at. Yet my mother tells me EVERY women signed her name on the notebook.

So what were the women doing? Eating. Eating how? The center had made burgers for everyone. So one burger per person -- no women took eight burgers each.

What was the excuse for eating so soon? "My children are hungry." My grandmother responded, "...have some fear, feed you're children before you come here!"

What made this worst was there was a echo too so it sounded 10x worse. I understand children make the noise but these weren't children. Children were actually quiet and in the Jama'at. These were grown women.

My uncle was moving carpets down to the construction site for people to sit on and he told, he saw two women pressed up against the wall like two chipkali (or lizards). They were doing tayunum. Why, if there is abundand water? Because they didn't want to go up the stairs.

Tauba tauba, my grandfather told us how it reminded him of how pagan women would heckle/make noise at the Prophet/Muslims when they prayed.

By far, this is was worst I've ever seen them.

Maybe it just this community. I hope it's just this community.

When were setting up, my mother moved the dinner table in such a way that it would be infront of the men. So, the women would have some shame and not eat during the program -- too bad it didn't work -- good effort though.

Maybe if there wasn't a flimsy purdah -- would that have helped?

I know men have some responsibility too for taking care of the kids. And many in this community do, MashaAllah. According to eye-witness testimonials, the women let their daughters run wild. And some of them know they are doing wrong yet they don't say anything. However, when someone else disciplies their child all hell breaks loose. A lose-lose situation!

Is there any hope for this community! I don't think they even deserve a state-of-art Masjid like the one they are building. They'll destroy it!

This a genuine question from a sincere brother -- so don't go all buck-wild on me. =) I was just very dissappointed. =(

Wa Salaam,

Dhulfiqar

Edited By Dhulfiqar on 1030392199

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wasalam,

brother Dhulfiqar, either we have communities that act alike, or we attend the same one. what a small world. anyway, it wasnt the whole community, it was a select few people who always do this. They were talking so loud that my friends and i couldnt concentrate, gave up any hope of hearing the Imam for jamaat, and read our nammaz seperate. its amazing though, these women tell everyone to keep qiut when nothing is going on and you're allowed to talk (like while you're eating) but are the loudest when the Molana is preaching. Ever notice the annoying buzz of female voices coming from behind you? yup, you guessed it, its them. It makes me so upset though, because it seems that the soul reason of their presence in the mosque is to gossip and socialize, not learn and be productive. and to add to that, they dont allow the rest of us to listen to the Molana.

Wasalam.

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Salam o alykum

What tribe of muslims were these?...I mean what language do they speak, and what languages will the talks take place in once it has opened

Shukran

Was-salam

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Sorry to be rude but what language? They sounded like chickens to me and sometimes like Alvin, Simon and Theodore (from the Chipmunks cartoon) on fast forward (and they already have squeeky voices).

From what I could figure out from the Maulana's speaking, it was partly Urdu and partly English. However, the late Ayatullah Mahalati (of the Alvi Foundation) from Iran did the groundbreaking ceremony a few years ago by taking the taking the shovel to the ground.

While eating? What happened here was women started eating during the program, when they weren't suppose to. There were times I heard some woman yelling,

[b:post_uid0]"My Burger. Me Jane. My Coke...*grunt*"[/b:post_uid0]

Wa Salaam,

Dhulfiqar

Edited By Dhulfiqar on 1030393153

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Salam alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

Awwww, indeed its too bad, brother.

I remember i used to be a member of a large female yahoo Islamic club, where this subject was also, and we had somehow the same complaints.

According to my experiences, both men and women should behave. Women, subhan Allah, really speak too much sometimes. I mean...We are going to masjed to pray and to involve ourselves in religious duties, nawaafil, duas, etc, but sometimes they are just speaking about USELESS things...And the "best" is ghaybah :angry:  Awww, i hate such!

And also the children...yalla, they just let them to be like 3afareet, walla, and nobody tells them a word!

I guess, brothers should also take care of children and yes, if they see, their wives are not behaving good in the masjed, they should seriously talk with them, because it is so bad, really!

I dunno...I attend to 2 places, shia and sunni...I can tell honestly, not because i am shia, but masha Allah, the shia masjed is much more "strict " (u know, what i mean, eh?)..I remember the first time i went there i tried to wear at least light colours, because in the sunnis masjed i always look like as totally black, lol, but walla...i was ashamed, all sisters in chador masha Allah!! And the men! Walla i never see them just hearing their voices!

Allahu musta3an...

Hadhrate Fatimah al-Zahra (S.A.) the daughter of the Holy Prophet (S) has said:

"Whoever sends pure and sincere worship for God-Almighty, He too reciprocates by bestowing upon Him His best favors."

Salam alaikum wa rahmatullah wa barakatuh

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salam,

bro akhi, the people there speak urdu and come from india and pakistan. as for the tribes, some are hindustani, some are balti, and others are panjabi. its really mixed. but if you want to get involved, i recommend you to not. there is, however, a really nice imambargha in the city, its called "al-Hussaini" and out of all the imambarghas in the tri-state county, i prefer it the most. Take care all,

wasalam.

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Salaam alaikum,

This is a problem in a lot of Islamic centers.  I dunno, I think it's the culture of the people that do like this. In a lot of Muslim countries they don't go to the mosque very often, I think over here they go so they can socalize.  I think they should open up day care facilities when the children are there.  Then they can teach the children how to behave in the mosque.  The women are a lost cause from what I have seen, maybe the children can yet be taught.

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I was in one mosque where there had some ladies who was in charge of keeping the ladies section quiet. Trust me, these ladies do take their job seriously and will not hesitate to chide anyone who make any sound that is edible. They are like Female Taliban version of security force if you get my drift

Stop whining and tell your mosque to implement this and see how the situation improves. :)

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Exactly! I think one of the major problems at this community center is, there are't any volunteers! The community wants to served more than help out.

There are only select few dedicated brothers and sisters (volunteers of course). And those capable of volunteering shy away (or make excuses) or even discourage new members to volunteer.

Other centers in the area have paid help. They pay people a salary to maintain order. At those same centers having a program there is not for the shallow pocketted because to use the facility or sponsor a Majalis you need to dish out tons of cash before even thinking about bring any "Tabaruk". At this mosque, you can have you majalis for fraction of the price. Geared more towards the lower and middle class Muslim.

The Khoja community have this incident in control, MashaAllah.

As far as knocking down one Masjid over another -- that's just plain wrong. Why not make it a better place and encourage people to volunteer and help make it a better place?

For those interested about what this masjid is about, click your mouse on:

http://www.jana.org/jana.html

'Ali would like to know, JANA started the Masoomeen School in NY that was principled by Hasanain Rajabali.

I have to give all the credit for all I know to the people at center. Yes it might by rowdy at times but the books they have, the scholars they bring, and programs they have are by far the most fruitful.

Anyhow... thanks for the responses. But let's hear some more suggestions that I can present to the center.

Wa Salaam,

Dhulfiqar

Edited By Dhulfiqar on 1030409218

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They are like Female Taliban version of security force if you get my drift

:D  :D  :D  

We don't have this problem at our center, the women who want to talk go downstairs.

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That's an idea. The new center will have stadium seating for the ladies with a one way mirror. And since the basement hall will mainly be used as a wedding hall, maybe that place can be turned into a nursery (or part of it).

They plan, from I heard last Sunday, to have a day care center and a place for senor citizens to chill. Which I think is something new -- we always forget about the young and the old.

Wa Salaam,

Dhulfiqar

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Asalaamu Alaikom:

llooll Sister Zareen I was in a masjid once and while waiting for Salat Juma3 a sister asked me a question and as I answered her this lady came up to me and put her hand over my mouth.. I was petrafied I could not believe that this strange woman did this. Well anyhow I stopped talking and have not made the same mistake. Everytime I think of talking in Juma3 I think of what this lady did. I just can not imagine someone that Fears Allah so much and only Allah that she did not even think of the consequesnce of putting her hand over my mouth . I mean I could have bit her or hit her or anything but she did not care All she wanted was to make barakat. mash Allah

So perhaps that is an Idea. Sisters if you are in the masjid Fear only Allah and if you see some other sisters acting inappropriate Let them know and be blunt so they remember because we are obligated to teach one another. *I think*

Edited By shiarose on 1030419838

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Asalaamu Alaikom:

llooll Sister Zareen I was in a masjid once and while waiting for Salat Juma3 a sister asked me a question and as I answered her this lady came up to me and put her hand over my mouth.. I was petrafied I could not believe that this strange woman did this. Well anyhow I stopped talking and have not made the same mistake. Everytime I think of talking in Juma3 I think of what this lady did. I just can not imagine someone that Fears Allah so much and only Allah that she did not even think of the consequesnce of putting her hand over my mouth . I mean I could have bit her or hit her or anything but she did not care All she wanted was to make barakat. mash Allah

So perhaps that is an Idea. Sisters if you are in the masjid Fear only Allah and if you see some other sisters acting inappropriate Let them know and be blunt so they remember because we are obligated to teach one another. *I think*

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Salam Sisters

Well , Its really sad to see a community with such bad habits . The community in Ottawa is somehow the same with little distinction . For instance ... Not long ago , about a week ago , my mother agreed to have a "mawled" for my Nephews birthday . I was giving out the food and Beverages . When this lady walks up to me and says " I want another plate for my sons son " ... i look around and i see no kid in sight . Being generous , i handed her another plate. She then turns around and

placed both plates in front of her and started to eat soo rapidly , as if we were holding some kind of "eating competition at our house". I just sat there , mouth wide open thinking ... where did her parents go wrong ?  :o .

Anyways .... After awhile a couple of ladies did the same , i want another one for my sons childs son son .. my little son that is at home sick , my cousin .... and so on and so forth .

The whole " people talking during the lecture" is normal ... and one reason i stopped going to the hussaiynia and masjed . I believe they only come there to gossip about what this girl was wearing and what this person told her about this person . Very disturbing and Non-Islamic .

People need to learn , SISTERS need to learn .

If u want to come to the masjed , and listen and learn .... be prepared to BE QUITE and keep ur children beside u at all times , posssibly bring him/her a snack from ur house .

It really disturbs me , to see Sisters like this these days ....  :cry: .

Wa Salam

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Guest socrates

Salam,

Well this is an old thing, and no one really bothered to make a scientific study as to why this concept exists globally. I have been to arab, persian and urdu majlis, both in the 'home country' and in the west, and this is prevalent everywhere. Since I don't believe humans are innately evil, there has to be simple reasons to this.

Sr. Hajar partly said it. Women don't meet so often in traditional societies, as often as men (you won't see alot of women sitting in cafes etc. like men do, in mideastern countries). So they use the opportunity to exchange the latest gossip.

For expatriate women in the west, it is even worse. They meet their compatriots even more rarely, and therefore spend this time to socialize and talk about the latest happenings.

So that's one of the reasons. Reason two, is something which I observed through my experiences. An example was last Muharram. During the first 8 days of Muharram, the tradition was as usual. The women kept talking. When on the 9th day, in the preface to his khutba the mullah announced that today he would dedicate to the sisters, and to Zaynab (as), there was an immediate silence among them, which continued until the sermon ended.

So I think part of the problem is also there. We have few, if any, female speakers and consequently we lose out alot, because women have a different way of viewing an incident in some aspects than men do, and they do put emphasis on other aspects.

Most of the women are not so interested in the battle details, and how many were killed, etc., whereas men are more aligned to such things. Women are more interested in the relations between the characters of the event, and how they were. Therefore I think if there were more female speakers, this problem could be solved.

Also another point, just because the men sit quiet, doesn't mean that they pay attention. The might do it out of fear, because the speaker can see them whereas the women are usually 'shielded' away from him. I have met lots of men who just sit there and don't listen (although they are quiet).

This is however no excuse for the women who do make noises; even if you don't like a sermon, you have no right to ruin the atmosphere. It is better to remain outside or somewhere else, than to come in and destroy the order.

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