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In the Name of God بسم الله

what would you choose if your husband said

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  • Advanced Member

It's a tricky situation that depends upon the individuals commitment, children, lifestyle etc.

I would first ask a couple questions:

1) Is this forever or just a short term thing (i.e one year, two years)

2) Are there ANY other possibilites?

Moving out of the country is ok with me, but having the husband not be there half the year is what buggs me (defeats the purpose of having a husband) and will be very detrimental to the children as well.

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  • Advanced Member
I would first ask a couple questions:

1) Is this forever or just a short term thing (i.e one year, two years)

2) Are there ANY other possibilites?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

1) yes this is forever

2) theres another option, of moving to iran and living amongst the scholars and studying, but that one isnt easy either, for work, accomodation isnt available there.

Moving out of the country is ok with me, but having the husband not be there half the year is what buggs me (defeats the purpose of having a husband) and will be very detrimental to the children as well.

i agree, its veryy confusing for the friend, especially if your really attached to your husband, seeing him only 26 weeks our of 52 weeks a yr is difficult.

Edited by Sincerity
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  • Advanced Member
It's a tricky situation that depends upon the individuals commitment, children, lifestyle etc.

I would first ask a couple questions:

1) Is this forever or just a short term thing (i.e one year, two years)

2) Are there ANY other possibilites?

Moving out of the country is ok with me, but having the husband not be there half the year is what buggs me (defeats the purpose of having a husband) and will be very detrimental to the children as well.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't know about it being detrimental to the children. Men have traveled and left their wives at home since the dawn of man. Rasolollah ran a caraven business at one point and remember back then they were off at wars a lot as well and Imam Ali (as) travelled and went to different arab cities/communities on behalf of rasolollah (pbuh)

It can work and it WILL be hard but it will take BOTH partners working together.

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  • Advanced Member

I think its fine.

I don't know about it being detrimental to the children. Men have traveled and left their wives at home since the dawn of man. Rasolollah ran a caraven business at one point and remember back then they were off at wars a lot as well and Imam Ali (as) travelled and went to different arab cities/communities on behalf of rasolollah (pbuh)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Also, technology has connected everyone nowadays. Even if she was away from her husband physically, she can always keep contact through various means like phone, voice chat, online conferencing etc, etc.

However, its a completely different thing if she does'nt want to leave her husband alone because of the trust factor. Its not that is it??

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Guest Katayon

ill move to iran no problem, where is my plane ticket.

but i dont get why this has to be forever at such a young age?

that is bs to me, im sure it will only last a couple years.

1/2 the month, i dont think its so bad. if i can be in iran especially. ill be busy with my own stuff anyway.

i can do it.

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  • Advanced Member

I have a long distance relationship with my husband right now. And I moved to a place that I didn't know anybody, and yeah I'm busy with school and stuff...

But I don't think I could live like this for the rest of my life. I see him every other weekend. As soon as we're done with all this, I'm never going to leave my husband's side, and he will never leave my side. Insha'Allah.

Wasalaam

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Oh, man.  That must be so tough....

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It is, but there is no other choice. The immigration laws in the Netherlands are now of the harshest in the world. I can solve it by temporarilly (or permanently for that matter) moving to Belgium, but that would not be good in the long term, right now.

Edited by Arman
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  • Advanced Member
It is, but there is no other choice. The immigration laws in the Netherlands are now of the harshest in the world. I can solve it by temporarilly (or permanently for that matter) moving to Belgium, but that would not be good in the long term, right now.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

May Allah reward you and your family. Both you and your wife are in my dua'as. I don't know what your situation is... but insha'Allah, with patience, everything will work out.

Wasalaam

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  • Advanced Member
I don't know about it being detrimental to the children. Men have traveled and left their wives at home since the dawn of man. Rasolollah ran a caraven business at one point and remember back then they were off at wars a lot as well and Imam Ali (as) travelled and went to different arab cities/communities on behalf of rasolollah (pbuh)

It can work and it WILL be hard but it will take BOTH partners working together.

can u trust a man these days he'll probably get married overseas,and sends the first wife divorce papers.ive heard of these things happen.

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  • 3 months later...
  • Advanced Member

Its amazing how many marriages and relationships' depend on PATIENCE. A woman has to be there to support her husband in the decisions he makes that are the best for his family.....I'm sure he doesnt need his wife telling him I cant have a marriage seeing you 2 weeks a month. Say alhamdulilah and make his life easier.

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Yeah true.

For three years, my parents lived away from each other and they saw each other for like every few months. And right now, my father works in Bahrain and he comes for the weekend every two weeks. It's tough but my mom copes with it.

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(bismillah)

(salam)

My friend has been confronted with this situation... and id like to know what youd do, or what youd suggest she do :)

Depends, most of all on the husband-wife relationship, and would require a consensual decision

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