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In the Name of God بسم الله

will u marry her?

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  • Advanced Member

from my experience,i think its hard to find a girl(or a guy) who wasn't involved in some type of relationship before marriage...i always think bout the girl i wanna marry and i want to be her first and last..!!and from past experience too i noticed that girls are VERY VERY good at acting innocent and concealing any mistakes theyve done in the past...i personally know the histories of many girls who have been married to guys who "think" they were the 1st and that there was no1 before them!!!

many girls also defend the bf case by saying that they were in luv and they werent using their brains but their hearts...and most who confess of a past bf deny any intimacy(kissing,cuddling,etc...) and i personally dont believe that,whats ur stance on that point specifically?i think a guy who has a gf would not accept not having intimacy at all...that defeats the whole purpose of him having a gf in the 1st place...i cannot bear the idea of my future wife having kissed a guy before...!!! :cry:

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Guest SayedM'sSister

brother if u beleive it or not has no worth in this situation. If a hijabi had a bf he probably had promised her marraige eventually and that still does NOT mean they did anything haram like kiss hug cuddle etc. A hijabi is a hijabi whether with a bf or not. and im pretty sure any hijabi in her right mind would wake up (if in illusional love) when a guy wants to touch her or kiss her. Wasalam

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(salam)

i thin its wrong for a girl to have a boyfriend and a man to have a girlfriend. its not fair both genders. the problem in this world is that alot of us live in Europe or america and in these pleace its very normal. but in islam its not slot all, its haraam for both not just the girl.

for u not to break a sin, go to her family talk to them, thats why we have Engagement period so that u get to know one and another (that is just talk, nothing else)

but i got to say a good suject u bought up, because that is what i always think about, why should i marry a man if he loved someone else, and was with someone else?

but its a shame that alot of arabic boys play around!!! they tell the girl come out with me, i want to get to know u, so that i'll marry u later on, which is all a lie.

so brothers and sisters, don't break a sin, do it the right way.

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a hijabi girl should no that if a guy has asks her out to say No go and speak to my parents...i was at the mosque for muharram and this guy sent this little kid to give me his number and all that...and i was like wearing black head to toe..i mean i was as covered as a woman can get so it was wierd...anyway i was like to the little kid, tell him that my fathers in the mens section he'll be more than happy to speak to you...only a stupid girl would go out with a guy, which is haram in itself and think that he really is going to mary her...Parents Must Be involved!!!

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(salam)

what if she was a revert? she has just become muslim ... losing her virginity wasnt such a big deal but now shes realised it is .. would you still marry her??

and how in d world would you find out a girl is a virgin or not before marriage??and then once your inlove with her, she tells you?? Do you think girls are that Open about such subjects... you'll be lucky if they tell you how they feel about you lol :P...

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Guest Katayon
i cannot bear the idea of my future wife having kissed a guy before...!!! :cry:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

i wouldnt marry someone who had mentality like you, with past or no past.

its actually scary to think of such a possessive husband. you probably dont like the idea of ur future wife socializing with other people and laughing either, right? or doing anythign without you. if you think of ur wife having been with someone else in her past does it make you want to hit her? i would seek some counceling actually if i felt the way u did.

i think people should stop asking these general questions, because there are men/women now who for instance were not hejabis nor religious before and maybe they unsuspectingly had past relations; and of course regret it and since have not engaged. is that something unbearable as well?

i mean we women have to put up with this idea all the time because very few men have ever just not had any relationship before marriage, and then the ones that havent, people have to wonder whether he is gay or just wierd or something.

so why do people keep sticking to these society created stigmas and traditional backword thinking, when there is Islam and Qur'an to consult?

All Qur'an tells us is that stay away from habitual offenders of fornication. people who were in the habit, and still are in the habit of fornication.

but if they have repented and changed, then who are we to judge as im sure we have just as bad sins as fornication under our belt. yeah believe it or not fornication is not the worst sin u can commit. in fact i think hurting someone elses feelings or cheating someone out or hurting your mother or father is worse sin because that is what you are doign to someone else, fornication is just on u. but anyway.

and so with that let me add somethings that are just as "unbearable" as thoughts of your spouse having been with someone in the past:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse not following risalah...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse being rude to parents...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse being an uneducated dork...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future husband not having a beard...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future husband not having a job...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse smelling like hell...!!! :cry:

etc

etc

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i wouldnt marry someone who had mentality like you, with past or no past.

its actually scary to think of such a possessive husband.  you probably dont like the idea of ur future wife socializing with other people and laughing either, right?  or doing anythign without you.  if you think of ur wife having been with someone else in her past does it make you want to hit her?  i would seek some counceling actually if i felt the way u did.

i think people should stop asking these general questions, because there are men/women now who for instance were not hejabis nor religious before and maybe they unsuspectingly had past relations; and of course regret it and since have not engaged.  is that something unbearable as well?

i mean we women have to put up with this idea all the time because very few men have ever just not had any relationship before marriage, and then the ones that havent, people have to wonder whether he is gay or just wierd or something.

so why do people keep sticking to these society created stigmas and traditional backword thinking, when there is Islam and Qur'an to consult?

All Qur'an tells us is that stay away from habitual offenders of fornication.  people who were in the habit, and still are in the habit of fornication.

but if they have repented and changed, then who are we to judge as im sure we have just as bad sins as fornication under our belt. yeah believe it or not fornication is not the worst sin u can commit.  in fact i think hurting someone elses feelings or cheating someone out or hurting your mother or father is worse sin because that is what you are doign to someone else, fornication is just on u.  but anyway.

and so with that let me add somethings that are just as "unbearable" as thoughts of your spouse having been with someone in the past:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse not following risalah...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse being rude to parents...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse being an uneducated dork...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future husband not having a beard...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future husband not having a job...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse smelling like hell...!!! :cry:

etc

etc

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Sister, nobody would marry you then :!!!:

as for the OP, no i won't marry her because she's like a used up pepsi trash can, no stuff inside :sick:

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  • Advanced Member

I think it's wrong to generalise. There are a few good guys/gals out there... but it's like finding a needle in a hay stack. A friend of mine had a huge row with her fiancee (and they have since broken up) because he didn't believe that she didn't have a past. Just because she was smart, intelligent and street wise he automatically assumed that she must have had at least one relationship in the past. Where's the justice?

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Guest Katayon
Sister, nobody would marry you then  :!!!:

as for the OP, no i won't marry her because she's like a  used up pepsi trash can, no stuff inside :sick:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

yeah if someone could please let us know what a "used up pepsi trash can" is that would be nice.

but i think few would want to marry you anyway, cause appearntly there is "no brain inside".

:lol:

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  • Advanced Member
Sister, nobody would marry you then  :!!!:

as for the OP, no i won't marry her because she's like a  used up pepsi trash can, no stuff inside :sick:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Actually sis Katayon is one of those girls that will be appreciated by a man that is religious!!!...she's an angel MashAllah :angel:

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Guest Katayon
Actually sis Katayon is one of those girls that will be appreciated by a man that is religious!!!...she's an angel MashAllah :angel:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

aawww that was so nice :wub: masha'Allah your an angel :angel:

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yeah if someone could please let us know what a "used up pepsi trash can" is that would be nice.

but i think few would want to marry you anyway, cause appearntly there is "no brain inside".

:lol:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

used up pepsi can got no contents inside, she's used up, worthless, yallah..

even though i am not a trash can in terms of ma brain i wouldnt disagree more.

women want men who dont dominate them. they prefer losers :!!!:

but even a loser wont date u :D

Actually sis Katayon is one of those girls that will be appreciated by a man that is religious!!!...she's an angel MashAllah :angel:

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

only by mullahs such as @)

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  • Advanced Member
from my experience........and from past experience too i noticed that girls are VERY VERY good at acting innocent and concealing any mistakes theyve done in the past

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Wow....when u have experiences np and Yet even though u have a past EXPERIENCE u want a girl who hasnt. Thats not impartial.

many girls also defend the bf case by saying that they were in luv and they werent using their brains but their hearts...and most who confess of a past bf deny any intimacy(kissing,cuddling,etc...)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

So how bout u telling us the truth about ur past experience. would surely be exiting. lolzz

and i was like wearing black head to toe..i mean i was as covered as a woman can get so it was wierd...anyway i was like to the little kid, tell him that my fathers in the mens section he'll be more than happy to speak to you.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lolzz....Agreed

she's an angel MashAllah

This is new......How come no one ever told me that angels marry ?

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Guest Katayon
used up pepsi can got no contents inside, she's used up, worthless, yallah..

oh ok, i understand now, why didnt someone tell me before that women are only good for first time sex, and there after are worthless Ya Allah.

even though i am not a trash can in terms of ma brain i wouldnt disagree more.

well, we'll have to take a vote on that one.

women want men who dont dominate them. they prefer losers  :!!!:

im not sure what those two lines have anything to do with each other, but it sure sums up your mentality.

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  • Advanced Member
i wouldnt marry someone who had mentality like you, with past or no past.

its actually scary to think of such a possessive husband. you probably dont like the idea of ur future wife socializing with other people and laughing either, right? or doing anythign without you. if you think of ur wife having been with someone else in her past does it make you want to hit her? i would seek some counceling actually if i felt the way u did.

i think people should stop asking these general questions, because there are men/women now who for instance were not hejabis nor religious before and maybe they unsuspectingly had past relations; and of course regret it and since have not engaged. is that something unbearable as well?

i mean we women have to put up with this idea all the time because very few men have ever just not had any relationship before marriage, and then the ones that havent, people have to wonder whether he is gay or just wierd or something.

so why do people keep sticking to these society created stigmas and traditional backword thinking, when there is Islam and Qur'an to consult?

All Qur'an tells us is that stay away from habitual offenders of fornication. people who were in the habit, and still are in the habit of fornication.

but if they have repented and changed, then who are we to judge as im sure we have just as bad sins as fornication under our belt. yeah believe it or not fornication is not the worst sin u can commit. in fact i think hurting someone elses feelings or cheating someone out or hurting your mother or father is worse sin because that is what you are doign to someone else, fornication is just on u. but anyway.

and so with that let me add somethings that are just as "unbearable" as thoughts of your spouse having been with someone in the past:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse not following risalah...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse being rude to parents...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse being an uneducated dork...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future husband not having a beard...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future husband not having a job...!!! :cry:

i cannot bear the idea of my future spouse smelling like hell...!!! :cry:

etc

etc

I SEE wat ur saying, but disagree...its up to him ...its his choice if he wants an 'untouched' girl...(and for the record theres many out there).....he holds those particulaR moral values close to his heart and they have been deeply embedded within him...aint nothing wrong with that...AS LONG AS HE AINT BEING A TYPICAL HYPOCRITICAL MAN! :P

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(salam)

As long as she doesn't have La'anat spilling all over, I don't have any issues.

I don't seek an infallible Parisa/Saleha. But I have prayed for someone, approved by Syeda Fatima S.a.

The piety of a person is recognised by the difference between the time he/she committs a crime and the time he/she regrets & asks for forgiveness. The shorter the difference, the better.

Fi-Amanillah

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 1 year later...

i dunno, depends wat type of relationship it was, if there wa sany intamacy involved, or it was just talkin, if it was done in

a halal manner (u kno wat i mean).

its a bit hypocrytical of boys who date gyals there whole life n then want to get married to the most decent, most modest n most

religious female on the planet. i look at pps intentions, there actions r not soo important (2 an extent), basically if Allah can

forgive them, then why cant we.

obv, i would perfer a girl who had not dated before, but i would not look down on one if she had.

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  • Advanced Member

salam

man you guys are talking and argueing as if its a set thing , there are so many possible scenarios to this thing you can prolly make a couple of soaps man .. so chill unless ur in a real situation you wouldnt know how to act this aint no 1 second answer especially if ur in love and later find out :o ;)

ps - Cee - 3aib

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  • Advanced Member

I would marry her if she has realized her mistake and sincerly changes her ways. No one is perfect and I would not let this sort of thing get between us if we truly were right for each other. Again depends on the girl and the situation but I am not stubborn and judgemental.

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