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In the Name of God بسم الله
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Zulfiqari

My first poem...

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(salam)

Here is my first poem that I wrote...only thing is that I can't figure out a title for it. All suggestions are welcome. ^_^

Your glittering, warm brown eyes,

Are more luminous than the sunset skies.

Your sparkling smile, which dazzles me,

Is much more beautiful than the sapphire sea.

When I look at you a thrill runs through me,

How did this come to be?

Your presence seem to illuminate the whole room,

Yet when you leave the whole world descends into gloom.

:blush:

Zulfiqari

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(salam)

Here is my first poem that I wrote...only thing is that I can't figure out a title for it. All suggestions are welcome. ^_^

Your glittering, warm brown eyes,

Are more luminous than the sunset skies.

Your sparkling smile, which dazzles me,

Is much more beautiful than the sapphire sea.

When I look at you a thrill runs through me,

How did this come to be?

Your presence seem to illuminate the whole room,

Yet when you leave the whole world descends into gloom.

:blush:

Zulfiqari

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Oh where are you, oh you who my eyes are so thirsty to see;

oh where are you, Spotty, my dearest pet-doggy :P

Sorry, couldn't resist that one. :D

Arif

Ps. That's brillinat for your first rhyme. Looking forward to more.

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Oh where are you, oh you who my eyes are so thirsty to see;

oh where are you, Spotty, my dearest pet-doggy  :P

Sorry, couldn't resist that one.  :D

Arif

Ps. That's brillinat for your first rhyme.  Looking forward to more.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Lool :lol:

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I might be a good poetry writer but I'm nothing compared to Sis soul_in_training.  :)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

(sallam)

I can tell u Sissoul_in_training once was like u and know she is talented and if u keep on writing u will be like her one day.

thank you

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I second Zulfiqari title.  The last line is way to strong for this to be a mature or healty love.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Can you explain this? I think I know what you mean..but I just wanna see how you explain it lol

  queen jafri, it's about a special, well, certain someone. 

That has brown eyes hm :wub: aww

nice poem, keep writing sis! :)

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lol I apologize, a guy that has 'glittering brown' eyes  :wub:

Lol aw your cute

Pshh! :Hijabi: BISMILLAH! :o It was a secret! You weren't supposed to give it away! :mad: :cry:

LOL jk :D

Spriglief ->

"I thought you were the one."

I don't remember putting tht in my poem...:huh:

Edited by Zulfiqari

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I second Zulfiqari title.  The last line is way to strong for this to be a mature or healty love.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

there is nothing mature or healthy about love.. if there is one love that truly touches its peak and yet remains healthy and mature is the love of the Prophet and his progeny... becuase even if you go crazy over it and you finish your self in it.. you keep on living you get more mature even by growing crazy in it.. .. thats the only love that is healthy.. other wise.. love for anything else or love for anything else that is not becuase of the love of Prophet.. is neither healthy not mature.. it doesnt leave you healthy... nor does it leave you sane... in my not so experienced opinion... perhaps.. i have only encountered infatuation uptill now..

you tell me perhaps you have much experience in this field...

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(salam)

Here is my first poem that I wrote...only thing is that I can't figure out a title for it. All suggestions are welcome. ^_^

Your glittering, warm brown eyes,

Are more luminous than the sunset skies.

Your sparkling smile, which dazzles me,

Is much more beautiful than the sapphire sea.

When I look at you a thrill runs through me,

How did this come to be?

Your presence seem to illuminate the whole room,

Yet when you leave the whole world descends into gloom.

:blush:

Zulfiqari

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

your smile just makes the world smile after you

your tears just makes the rivers feel sad for you

when you feel lost you make me feel i have a lost a part of me

when you come my way it make me fly in skies saying weeeee

when you decide to leave i pray that you take me with you

yeah thats infatuation.. or perhaps its more than that.. does infatuations hurt this bad.. when did infatuation go this deep ... so it has to be love..

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your smile just makes the world smile after you

your tears just makes the rivers feel sad for you

when you feel lost you make me feel i have a lost a part of me

when you come my way it make me fly in skies saying weeeee

when you decide to leave i pray that you take me with you

yeah thats infatuation..  or perhaps its more than that.. does infatuations hurt this bad..  when did infatuation go this deep ... so it has to be love..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

^

"when you come my way it make me fly in skies saying weeeee"? :lol: Interesting

Edited by servant_of_Allah

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:dry: ok.. i am trying to do poetry.. i know not good at it these days..

well.. either you fly in skies weeee

or you jump off a bridge weee..

i shall fly high and high

and i will sing my song weee

and then i will touch the cloud

and float around

then i shall let go of myself

and fall to the ground

with a smile on my face

and a satisfaction in my eyes

i will go down weeee

with my thoughs that i will gather

and land like a feather

empty yet full

heavy as a bull

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