Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله
Sign in to follow this  
Bahlool

Your conversion to Islam

Rate this topic

Recommended Posts

Last week my 30+ year search for truth ended when I made the declaration of faith, first in private to Allah, then on the forum to inform others. At that point I opened a door to my future, one of many doors I had stood in front of but the only one that I had opened. So here is my story:

I am 55 and was born into and raised in a small town conservative Christian environment. Like any child I accepted what was considered the normal beliefs of the adults. In my mid-teens I started to have questions. There were just too many people that I thought of as Sunday morning Christians. They seemed to think that as long as they went to church for an hour or so, whatever they did during the week would be forgiven. I saw many Christians but not much Christianity. The other big problem that I had was the idea that Jesus was one of the three parts of God. It did not make sense to me. The teachings of Jesus as a man inspired by God seemed to be a good way to live; but, I could not understand ignoring the teachings and worshiping the man. Needless to say I was confused.

As with others my age I was constantly exposed to war stories from relatives and movies about World War 2 and Korea. This had the effect on me and others that the US can do no wrong and the world must be protected from evil. Evil being described as whatever the government did not like. More about this in a bit.

When I went off to college I suffered culture shock. I went from a small town of 4000 people to a University with an enrollment of 15,000 in a city with almost a million people. I was totally unprepared for that. At the end of my freshman year I left school, joined the military and volunteered for duty in VietNam. I was still under the influence of the stories and movies.

After the duty tour in VietNam was over I started to have a few questions about why we were there, but not enough questions. I volunteered for a second tour. It was during this time that an old friend of mine who had turned hippie, sent me a book about the history of VietNam. Then I understood, they were fighting for their freedom and the right to self-determination. From that time, I did what I had to do to stay alive, but, I killed no more.

So began my search for the truth. I have read about, studied, discussed, and contemplated the religions and cultures all over the world since that time. It was only about a year ago that I realized that Islam was the only path that I had returned to for a more in-depth look several times. Something kept drawing me back. Over the last year I have read much about Islam and the Muslim people. I had many questions and developed a general feeling that Shia might be the way.

I do not have the words to fully describe the feeling that came over me last Friday. There was a sudden warmth and relaxation. I felt that in my heart and being that I had been forgiven for my actions in VietNam...there was joy in my heart...my search was over...I opened the door to Islam.

I know now what to do with whatever years left that have been preordained for me.

bill

MASHA Allah

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(salam)

SubhanAllah, what beautiful stories everyone has :cry: it's so wonderful to see people who have a real thrist to go out and search for the truth. Although I am not a convert myself, my friends mother is, and subhanAllah her story is beautiful as well. I don't know the whole story but basically she went to see her college advisor and saw the Quran on her desk and since she was confused about religion at the time, she asked to borrow it, then read it, did some research and Alhamdollilah found the right path :)

Edited by FreedomFighter

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(bismillah)

(salam)

In the name of Allah the most Compassionate the most Merciful

Blessing and peace of Allah, the most High, be upon our Master and Prophet Muhammad (saww) and His Chosen and Pure Progeny.

Growing up as a child in, I was not interested in religion. I would not even pray; and my parents would always force me to do so, but I would rebel against because I felt as though they were taking away my freedom rights from me, for Allah, the most High, says in His Glorious Book,

"There is no compulsion in religion." (Holy Quraan 2:256)

Anyway, my family are from the descendant of one of the Companions of the Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw), Abdur Rahman ibn Ouf. They are proud to have forefathers who were scholars whom people came to learn the religion from.

Anyway, I always thought that weather there were scholars or not, it would not do me any good and that I should not be forced to the religion.

We came to America from Kenya via the Red Cross whom we are thankful to. After we came, I was stoned as to what I saw. It seemed totally a new world. Even though, I was not religious, I was still ashamed for coming to the country. Everything was strange. I saw women walking almost wearing nothing. People using indecent language in here and there. I am in any way, trying to speak ill of this country, but I am just trying to express my feelings at what I had saw and how I reacted to them.

However, there were something I like about the country, such as their road for it was clean, their houses for it was beautiful and big, and more importantly I loved their "freedom" system a lot for I always felt that I have the right to do anything I wished and the consequence would be between my and my Lord.

Not two years passed by, I began to adopt to their ways of living. I would try to be one of them, try to walk like them, etc, but at the same time I, somewhat knew my limits.

Then three years ago, I started to feel something really strange in my heart. I was beginning to change. Every time I did something bad, I would feel bad and wished that I had never done it. At times, I would hear a voice from my heart every time I was thinking of doing some bad which supposedly suppose to make me look "cool". So I stopped doing what I used to do and came back to my Lord and repented.

One day I saw my uncle and his children praying differently. I was wondering why they were doing it. Not weeks passed by, when I became one of them. He told me that this is Shiasm and this is the right way to pray. So I began to follow him blindly. But that was not enough to convince my folks. So I began to do a research since, I am seeing totally a new way of praying, or should I say a new faith-new religion.

I was never really taught properly how to pray, so therefore, I was blindly following them without question for I never saw anyone who would pray differently and then at the same time tell me that this is right.

Weeks later, my uncle and other cousin began to follow their brother and uncle. Thinking that they have become Shias as well, I thought that my Uncle Hassan was right since he managed to convince people older than me. But somehow, I knew it was not right for me to follow blindly as my uncle always used to tell me.

So, one night I was searching on the internet something that has to do with Shiasm and Sunnism; perhaps a book that would talk about both sects comparatively. I found a book called "Shia encyclopedia" and I began to read it.

I began to read about the wudhu first and was pretty shocked when I found out that only the Shias act upon that verse. I asked my self, "is it possible my family are wrong?" But how can they be wrong for their forefathers were Sheikhs and people used to come to learn the religion from them? How can they be wrong after being blessed by being the descendants of Abdur Rahman ibn Ouf?

The thing that amazed me was that, as a child I was taught to wash my feet but in the Quraan, a different story was told. So I decided to compare the translation of Yusuf Ali, Pickthal, and Shakir. I also wanted to share it with you O dear reader and you be the judge of it.

[shakir 5:6] "O you who believe! when you rise up to prayer, wash your faces and your hands as far as the elbows, and wipe your heads and your feet to the ankles…"

[Yusuf Ali 5:6] "O ye who believe! when ye prepare for prayer, wash your faces, and your hands (and arms) to the elbows; Rub your heads (with water); and (wash) your feet to the ankles…"

[Pickthal 5:6] "O ye who believe! When ye rise up for prayer, wash you faces, and your hands up to the elbows, and lightly rub your heads and (wash) your feet up to the ankles…"

Then I went to on to read the rest of it. Off course I didn't finish the book at that night, but I was tired so I went to sleep.

Anyhow, this was only of the many things that surprised me. But what I fail to understand was that, if Allah, the most High, says in His Holy Book, which He did, that He tells Muhammad not to ask us (the Muslims) for any reward accept love for his (Muhammad)'s kin, then why only have the Shias follow and obeyed that verse? All Muslims, whether Sunni or Shia agree that if you anyone denies or pretends to ignore one verse of the Holy Quraan, he has denied Allah. So again, why have only the Shias loved and still do love the AhlulBayt of The Prophet (saww)?

Anyhow, the Hadith that trucked me the most was non other than the "Hadith of the Two Heavy Precious." I wonder at those Muslims, who try to destroy this Hadith and try their utmost try to hide it, but haven't they read the verse in Sura Al-Baqara, ayaa, 256? Indeed, the truth has become clear! The Prophet made it clear that He loved them so much and asked us the same, and that He left for us two precious things that if we hold tight to them, we shall never be misled. He instructed us to not be in front of them and not to teach them, for they know more than us; not to be behind them for then we will be misled; and always stay with them. That surely was a simple task!

The holy Prophet of Islam, Muhammad ibn Abdullah (saww) said in many hadiths that show the merits of Imam Ali (as). The last one and the most authentic is, when in Khadir Khum, He (the Prophet) delivered his last message, which still remains in the back of (all) Muslims and will always be remembered. After a very eloquent speech, the Prophet asked the people in a loud voice and heavenly tone, "O People! Who is your guide and guardian? Who is your leader and ruler? Am I not your leader and your guide? Am I not your guardian and ruler? They replied, "O Prophet of God, you are 6ur leader and ruler. You are our guide."

Then the Holy Prophet called for `Ali ibn Abi Talib and gave him a place next to himself. He took his hand and held it aloft, showing this to the people, and in his loudest voice and most glorious tones he commanded:

"Those whose guide and leader I am, after me, will be guided and led by `Ali O People! O Muslims! After me, `Ali is your guide and master".

Then he lifted his hands to the skies and said: `Lord! Be friendly with the friends of `Ali Be an enemy to the enemies of `Ali Lord! Help the helpers of `Ali, and humble those that wish evil of `Ali"

Subhanallah! What an honor! All we are told to do is follow him after the Rasul (saww), but instead we tend to follow his enemies. Yet, in another Hadith, the Prophet tell us, in a very accepted Hadith by the Shias and the Sunnis, that Ali is the Gate to the City of Knowledge. The Prophet said, "I am the city of Knowledge and Ali is its gate." Even if the Prophet said (only) this much about Amirul Mu'miniin, it is sufficient to follow the orders of the Prophet, that is to follow Ali because only He knows the true Islam, as the Hadith itself indicates. Again, our beloved Prophet (saww) in another Hadith said, "O Ali! You hold in relation to me the same position as Haroon held in relation to Moses, except that there shall be no prophet after me."

There are a lot more Ahadiths which I am not going to mention that only talks about the merits about the Great Imam Ali because this Hadith says it all, the Prophet (saww) said, "If all the oceans were ink, all the trees were pen, and all the jinn and humans came together to write down the merits of Ali, they would still not be done."

It is interesting how some people try their utmost to conceal all these hadiths, but do then not know that even their so called "khalifas" could not because they were forced to ask the Great Imam Ali for help. Here is one such incident, this is when Umar ibn Al-Khattab ordered a pregnant woman to be stoned to death and imam Ali's prevention. Here is how the story went taken from the book called "Peshawar Nights :

Imam Ahmad Bin Hanbal in his Musnad; Imamu'l-Haram, Ahmad Bin Abdullah Shafi'i in Dhakha'iru'l-Mawadda, chapter II, p.75, from Hasan Basri; Ibn Hajar in Fathu'l-Bari, vol.XII, P.101; Abu Dawud in Sunan, vol. II, p.227; Munadi in Faizu'l-Qadir, vol. IV, p. 257; Hakim Nishapuri in Mustadrak, vol.II, p.59; Qastalani in Irshadu's-Sari, vol.X, p. 9; Baihaqi in Sunan, vol.VIII, p. 164; Muhibu'd-din Tabari in Riyazu'n-Nazara, v.II, p.196; Khatib Khawarizmi in his Munaqab, p.48; Muhammad Ibn Talha Shafi'i in Matalibu's-Su'ul; Imamu'l-Haram in Dhakha'iru'l-'Uqba, p.80; Ibn Maja in his Sunan, v.II, p.227; Bukhari in his Sahih, chapter la yarjumu'l-majnun wa'l-majnuna and most of your other ulema have reported the following incident:

One day an insane woman was brought before Caliph Umar Bin Khattab. She had committed fornication and admitted her fault. Umar ordered her to be stoned. Amiru'l-Mu'minin was there. He said to Umar: "What are you doing? I have heard the Holy Prophet saying that three kinds of people are free from the hold of law: a sleeping man until he wakes; a lunatic until he recovers himself and regains consciousness; and the child until he comes of age." Hearing this, Umar acquitted the woman.

Ibnu's-Saman in his Kitabu'l-Muwafiqa has recorded many such cases. There are some accounts which record about 100 erroneous and fallacious findings of Umar.

Anyway, I am thank to my Lord, who has guided me to the right path! I thank All-Mighty Allah for opening my eyes and helping me to see the truth. I pray to Allah, the All-Powerful, to guide all my sincerely beloved brothers and sisters to be guided also to the right path. Amiiin Ya Rabb!!!

I leave you all in the care of Allah

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam !

Well, lets see.. first of all..i would like to admit, that i had almost no knowledge about Islam. I was sunni becoz my parents were.

Well.. to make a long story, no too long hehe :P ...i'll try and make it short.

I met this guy on the net 6 yrs ago. We almost never discussed about religion. But I was suspecting that he was shia. I dindt wanna drag our beliefs into this, becoz...well yeah..since i had no knowledge about Islam in that sense, to discuss things..i'd rather ignore the topic.

But one day (i think after 2-3 yrs).. i took the guts to say "hey ure shia??" (hehe) .. and he said yes..then he ..for the first time asked if im sunni.. I said yes too ... And stupid as i was.. (hey..remember, i was young and didnt know better)...i said to him " but shias are not muslims". But he did not get angry... instead..he started explaining to me the basic beliefs of a shia. Such as, same Quran, beleiveing in the same last prophet pbuh , etc etc. And then i told him "but hey..u beleive in Hazrat Ali more than Prophet Muhammad pbuh". This was my biggest misconception about shi'ism. Since, everyone that i knew...had told me that shia beleive in Hazrat Ali more than Prophet pbuh. He explained in a calm way that this is not true etc etc.

However..we left the topic there. After a couple of months.. he started asking me how much knowledge i had about sunnism. And obviously, i had to give him an embarrassing answer "very little". Then he started to tell me which hadith books that were authentic for sunnis... etc etc.He started teaching me about sunnism ..haha... But he was never negative..he wanted me to get a good picture about my beliefs. We discussed for several hours and the more he explained to me about shi'ism... the more i was getting convinced that "hey..this guy really is muslim" B) hehe

BUT, not until 2 yrs ago.... we got into details. He started to tell me about islams history. And whenever he wanted to prove something, he gave me references from sunni's authentic books and hadith. He always told me to look into this myself, either on the internet or if i had the books at home. He never took for granted that i should beleive him, just becoz if was him. He also told me to talk to a imaam in sweden, or email any sunni imaam... to get answer to sertain questions. He never tried to prove that his beliefs were true and mine wrong. All he wanted, was for me to think about sertain things. To do the research. Becoz..after all..nobody is here to become a shia or sunni or whatever.... we are here to become the true muslims. So, if I would have good resasons and answers, he would definately welcome it and propbably learn things too.

But, I never got the "good" answers, reasons, or explainations. Slowly...slowly, the more i learnt about Islam itself and its history..the more intrested i got. In the beginning, i was so confused...becoz, things that i used to beleive my whole life.. such as the khalifas, and their good merits, ..suddenly i started to doubt them.. And considering my lack of knowledge and commitment to Islam... i was still feeling really bad and confused. After all...even if i was a "bad" muslim... i still loved my religion and Allah, and i would always haev guilty feelings, for being such a "bad" muslim.

I started doing research, reading books especially. Sometimes, i would get into these "anti-shia" sites on the internet, and whenever i read something bad as in, "shia has a different Quran" etc etc..i would panic. I would be like "whaatttt... noo, this guy cant beleive in another Quran, if he does..that means hes a kaafir" And I would try and get answers from him.. but again, calmly he would explain that these rumours are false. Once in a while, i would get these shocks by reading anti-shia stuff... I would panic everytime hehehe... So, this could go on for months.... becoz, i was still confused abou things and i was still doing my research ...

Today, i feel that these "shocks", were good.... becoz i learnt alot from that.

Yeah...so last yr.. maybe 10-11 months ago... i felt like a true shia... the follower of ahlul bait (as) ... I felt i was on the right path. Even before...i was convinced that shi'ism is the right path, but i still wanted to feel 100% sure in my heart. I didnt want to declare something, just for the sake of it...

Yeah..so here i am.. it took me 6 yrs to get this far hehe.... Im slow na? But, all credit goes to this guy...who showed me the true Islam. May Allah grant him with happiness and success in life. And as for me..im trying each and everyday, to become a better muslim. My research is still there... i dont think, you can ever stop studying Islam. There's always something new to learn.

Since, no one in my family or friends know that Im a shia, i dont get the chance to explore the practial stuff. Such as the prayers, wudhu, etc etc. I will InshaAllah go to a local Mosque and learn all those things, including the "cultural things"..

Oh well..my story got pretty long anyway hehehe B) ... I hope u guys didnt get too bored.

Remember me in your prayers,

(salam)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

alhamdulillah. thank you for posting your story sis. like I said before, feel free to search this site and post questions. there's a lot to learn like you said, and we're all still doing it too.

welcome.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As with others my age I was constantly exposed to war stories from relatives and movies about World War 2 and Korea. This had the effect on me and others that the US can do no wrong and the world must be protected from evil. Evil being described as whatever the government did not like. More about this in a bit.

Unfortunately, your problem was not with Christianity, but with the USA government, and people claiming to be Christians--whom you, yourself, have declared were not doing the works of Christianity.

Why then did you not practice Christianity? How can you remove the speck in your brother's eyes, when you have a trunk in yours?

Furthermore, if the idea of the Trinity was not right for you, why not be a fundamental Christian, one who relies on Scripture, and not on man's traditions? I am a non-trinitarian, and I am against the things this government does, but you don't see me blaming it on the Christ, or on the teachings of His apostles. Forgiveness is granted to him who has recognized his wrong, repented, and turned away from it. For God does not find delight in the death of the wicked.

Nevertheless, I wish you luck in your new path. May your days be longer on the face of this earth...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I am a non-trinitarian, and I am against the things this government does, but you don't see me blaming it on the Christ, or on the teachings of His apostles. Forgiveness is granted to him who has recognized his wrong, repented, and turned away from it. For God does not find delight in the death of the wicked.

Br Karaite

I have heard of Christians who do not believe in trinity. I think this means they don’t believe Jesus(peace be on him) was a God. Am I right here or not really? And if so, then what do they believe about Jesus(as)?? I mean do they Consider Jesus as a pious servant only or as a messenger of God(Prophet) or what?

Another question, do the Copt Christian from Egypt, Orthodox Christian from Armenia and Assyrian from Iraq/Iran believe in Trinity?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Zareen,

Orthodox Christians are trinitarians, they are pretty much like the Catholics, I think the only difference is in the view of the Pope. They don't see the Pope as the infallible head of the Church, as Catholics do. And I am not so familiar with the Coptic Christians from Egypt, but they are Orthodox as well (therefore, Trinitarians). You have to understand that the majority of those with a claim to Christianity in that area are Orthodox (Trinitarian), but they are not the only ones. I am inclined to believe that there are non-trinitarians in that area, especially in the late years, e.g., Jehovah's Witnesses have been a growing minority in that area. And I doubt they are the only non-trinitarians in that area. It just happens that, for hundreds of years we have been oppressed by, first, the Catholics (orthodox), persecuted and executed more than often. And with the rise of Islam, people have preference for one (orthodoxy) or the other (Islam), that they are the vast majority (greater influence), but don't think of anything in between.

Like on of the posts in the Christian/Muslim dialogue forum, Christians who don't believe in the Trinity are despised, and labeled "cultist" by the majority. We are called heretics, treated as brainwashed (despite the fact that we always call for logic & reason in our defense), and many other labels.

Understandably, with all these names and labels, most people will prefer to go with something totally new.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Oops! I forgot to tell you what I believe about Jesus.

Well, Jesus was a Spirit, before He came to the earth. He existed as the highest spirit of all, exception is the Father. I will explain the rest later...I have to go now...

EDIT:

Okay, I have some time right now.

I think this means they don’t believe Jesus(peace be on him) was a God.

At my website, I have an article I wrote about the word God, and the word Elohim from the Hebrew manuscripts. In it I explain the way the word was used to refer to a number of characters, i.e., humans, angels, demons, and God Himself. In the way it is used, we do consider that Jesus was a pre-existing divine being, therefore, the use of the word "Elohim" was applied to him in various occasions.

But, in the sense that you use it, we do not consider Jesus to be a god, or the God. As Paul puts it, there is but one God for us, the Father, and one Lord, Jesus Christ. God (the one we call Father) gave all things as possessions to Jesus, making Jesus "Lord" (owner) of everything.

If you need more clarification, feel free to ask.

I mean do they Consider Jesus as a pious servant only or as a messenger of God(Prophet) or what?

Among some groups, the idea of a 'spirit' being living inside the body is a pagan (attributed to the Greeks), and they do not believe we can exist in any realm other than the material realm. Therefore, they believe that Jesus was a regular man, just like any of us. But that by Jesus fulfilling the commandments of God, God bestowed upon him rulership of all things, anointed him with the power of the Holy Spirit (God's force), and a few other things. So, to them, Jesus was not divine from a pre-existence, but simply divinely anointed. A man like any of us.

Hope this answers your questions.

Edited by Karaite

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Salaam...

Hello everyone! I am a 34 y/o female from the US...I am a teacher and as a result of teaching and another Muslim friend, I had decided to read the Quran to learn about Islam so that I could understand others better. I have always been a person who loves to read. I would read aloud every night in English. I was moved by the similarities to Christianity...and also felt that the Quran was very clear in so many ways where the Bible was vague at times. One night as I was reading, I felt this tremendous feeling of simply... the best way to describe it was of Allah...I began to tremble...became weak....started crying....I just knew in my head that it was the TRUTH and that I had to SUBMIT....so I did....I had no muslim friends....no mosque...I grew up Christian and was a devout Christian at my local Methodist Church. I knew nothing....so I read about Sunnis and Shias and after reading....decided that Prophet's family pbuh should have never perished...and I decided that the Shia way was the true path. I found a local Shia mosque and met with the Imam and his wife. They were both so kind and knowledgeable. I felt at ease...and even though I am still learning so many things, they are patient and always there to answer questions. My experience was profound...I have never had anything remotely like that happen before. I feel at peace with my choice, and even though I am a child in the faith...I am so looking forward to learning the most I can.

Mary

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest ShhItsSecret

http://www.islamicdigest.net/id5/print.php?sid=1241

Bismillahir Rahmanir Raheem,

It was almost a year ago I said, “Ash-Hadu Anla Elaha Illa-Allah Wa Ash-Hadu Anna Mohammadan Rasul-Allah”, (There is no God worhty of worship but Allah and Mohammed is His messenger.) the words that forever changed my life. The time from me learning about Islam and becoming a Salafi, to the time of me finding the REAL Islam, the REAL Ahluls Sunnah, the path of the Shi’ite Ahlul Bayt was marked with great confusion, but also great learning, as well as growth.

I was born January 20, 1988 into a poor urban family. My father was an illegal immigrant from El Salvador and my mother was uneducated, three times divorced with three other children. My father was abusive to my mother, so when I was two years old my mother moved from Texas to Missouri. That was the last time I saw my dad. Perhaps this why I felt a void in my life or maybe it was my childhood.

I didn’t have a real childhood, although, it could have been worse. I had to grow up fast. We struggled and struggled which I believe made me humble inside. When I was about seven years old, I would ride the church bus to Sunday school. People were sort of nice to me, gaveme candy and little token-gifts for coming to church. Soon, my mother started going to church and my sister also.

My mother never liked to stay in one place too long so when I was almost 11 years old we moved back to Texas. Almost immediately my sister’s father grew ill. After about a month, he couldn’t even walk. We knew there was something more to his illness then what the doctors at the local clinic had said. We took him to a hospital and he was diagnosed with cancer. The doctors said he had 6 months to 2 years to live. He died in 6 months.

After his death, my sister started to question God, her beliefs, her religion. I did also. She was struggling with her beliefs and it in part took a toll on me as well.

We found out my sister was pregnant a couple weeks after her father died. She stayed with my mother and her boyfriend in their apartment. I stayed at the second apartment (really my mothers, where my sister, her father, and I lived) alone. However, my mom was there everyday. Now, I am sure you think that is absurd. But mentally, I advanced well before I should have.

It was summer time, and everyday I would wake up and go to the pool, hang out with the older teenagers, and live careless. I stayed out late at night, had coed sleepovers with out my mother knowing, started smoking, drinking, and began practicing Wicca (witchcraft/Paganism) with a “friend”.

Before school started my mother moved back into her apartment full time. I remained careless and disrespectful. I had joined a gang “Latin Queens” . I was absent from school constantly. I had been in several fights and was reassigned to an alternative school for about two months. I was on probation and even had to do community service for the crimes I committed.

I finally knew I was going about life the wrong way. I was living like an animal, partying, being lustful, and listening to no one. I couldn’t think of anything else to do, but pull away from everyone, at least till I figured out something certain in life. As a result of leaving the gang I couldn’t go outside without fear so I had to stay indoors all the time. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t talk to anyone. I was all alone.

Finally, we moved a few hours away from where we lived to the suburbs and I had a chance to start over. Life was looking good. I was in advanced classes making wonderful grades, but for some reason I wasn’t happy. I was insecure about everything. I felt like cattle just doing what I had to do. I was depressed all the time. In the middle of the first semester I started dating a certain person. The relationship got emotional abusive. I felt like I had to have him, that I wasn’t worthy of anyone else, and I did everything he said. I thought who else would love me? Who else would even bother with me?

My depression got worse and I started cutting my wrists. I wanted the pain and the hurt to leave me. I wasn’t trying to kill myself. I was too afraid to go to hell or some place bad. I was tense and upset all the time. I cried nearly everyday , yelled at anyone who spoke to me, I hated life. I thought life was a waste!

My mother finally got sick of me, and sent me to Missouri for three months. After lots of fights and arguments with my mothers friend I was staying with, I started going to church again. I poured myself into studying Christianity. Normally the more you study the more you understand, but the more I read the more abstruse the religion became. The denominations were founded by simple people who wanted to add and change the religion from the true text. The doctrines seemed in accurate with what the Bible actually said. Every version and ruling in Christianity was different. How could I know what was right? How could this be right with all this confusion? I went to the library and read everything I could possibly find on the denominations in Christianity. Baptist, Mormon, Jehovah Witness, Non-Denominational, Greek Orthodox, Catholicism, Methodist, Pentecostal, Presbyterian...etc . I wanted to find the truth, but I couldn’t do so in Christianity.

Eventually I stopped caring about religion all together. Logic and politics became my focus. I loved watching debates, reading about politics, and what not. As I started to study the Middle Eastern conflicts , I became more and more curious about the Arabic culture. Now, I had known a few Muslim people, but only one person I talked to on the internet decided to tell me about it in depth, even after I told him I wasn’t interested in religion. He was a wahabi (salafi). He gave me a website to go to listen to lectures. I listened to “Why you should be a Muslim.” “What's the purpose of life?” among others. I thought about what the man told me and how much it made sense. (The basics of Islam that all schools of thoughts follow such as the real story of ISSA (JESUS) Peace Be Upon Him) Constantly, I was reading articles online. I submitted my name, address, and telephone number Islamicity in order to receive a free translation of the Quran and other Islamic literature.

Everyday I was learning something new, and everyday I started understanding the true purpose of life. We are to serve Allah, our creator. We are to fully submit ourselves to Him and purify ourselves so that we will be ready for the next life. I started to feel ashamed of the life I was living and had lived before. I was scared, shy and nervous about talking to anyone, but then one day.....

On January 24th, 2002, I received a call from a man who was volunteering for Islamicity. I was cooking at the time, but I let it burn. I wanted to hear what this man was saying. I wanted what I then thought was TRUTH! My heart had been crying silent tears from the beginning.

After hours of conversation, he asked me if I was ready to make Shahada (two testaments of faith). I made my Shahada. Yes, over the phone, before (via speaker phone) 7 brothers and sisters. First he told me what I was about to say in English, “ There is no god apart from The God , and Muhammad is the Messenger of God.” Then he told me to repeat after him in Arabic. At first I was nervous to say it in front of them, but as the words came out my mouth, “Ash-Hadu Anla Elaha Illa-Allah Wa Ash-Hadu Anna Mohammadan Rasul-Allah.” I felt peace. I felt at ease and for the first time, I felt real love.

What lead me to say my Shahada was not the stories of the sahaba or the stories of the Ahlul Bayt (Peace and Blessings upon them), but rather the Miracles of the Qur'an. The beauty of the Holy Qur’an. It wasn’t until later that I learned about the Sahaba and the Ahlul Bayt (Peace and Blessings upon them).

Now that I became a ‘Muslim’, I tired hard to do what I was told. The Salafi rulings are very much extreme and things I was told seemed harsh but I tried my best to do them. Things about a woman's voice being awrah, niqab fardh, a woman being unable to even wear her hair in a high ponytail in the privacy of her own home, extreme segregation, among others. Every salafi was telling me do this, you cant do this. This is haram (forbidden) or this was biddah (innovation). So slowly I backed away and stopped trying to learn more. I felt like I was a failure and I couldn’t do anything.

Before I had even become Muslim, I did however, meet one Shia man. I had some curiosity as to why the things I did he said I didn't have to do or were innovation, so I asked the wahabi shiekhs and they told me all sorts of things, all far from the truth. Lies like the Shia worship Ali (as), Shia think Ali (as) should have been the Rasul instead of Mohammed (SAW), the Angel Jibrael (Gabriel) had made a mistake, that they believed the Qur’an wasn’t perfect and even that they had another Qur’an. I thought this was absurd!!! Crazy! I became a Muslim because of the Qur’ans perfection! Little did I know.

After awhile from my ‘break’ of Islam, I started to feel the way I felt before and I started to slip into my old disgusting self again. For awhile I didn’t practice Islam like I was taught. I just sort of went with the flow of what I wanted to do. Then finally after lots of hurt and what not, I got in touch with the people I took my Shahada with in order to get some more materials and so I could gain knowledge. I started to study more and more and I started to wear hijab fulltime during late September.

During my conversations with Salafi ladies online, I was told to download PalTalk (a messenger service similar to Yahoo). I did and I talked to several people online. I began sitting in during online classes as well. During my time in the rooms I met a sister from the Ahlus Sunnah wa jamal of the Hanafi school of though. She would take me to private chat and talk to me. Many of things she said were down right contradictions to what I was taught. Then one day she started to talk to me about the wahabi. I rememberd once I had asked a ‘friend’ of mine what a wahahbi was and she told me the called Salafis wahabis. And she ‘explained’ to me why they did such. She said we are Salafi and Ahlus Sunnah. So I told they lady from Paltalk, what are you talking about? I am Salafi. I’m not kafir. I believe in Allah and His Messengers and the Angels and the Day of Judgement, etc. Then we had a long conversation and she directed me to many AICP sites for me to read and learn from. How could I possibly have thought such ways of Allah as to compare Him to His creation like the wahabi? How could I say that He has hands, “but not like our hands”? How could I say that Allah was above His throne? ASTAGAFURALLAH!! I decided then to seek more knowledge on the different sects of Islam and different schools of thoughts.

I didn’t know exactly how to go about searching, but I decided while I was on PalTalk to go the room Shia The Right Path. While there, I just listened to them. Heard different arguments and listened to debates. I asked questions and got answers. The manners of the Shia were above all the other Muslims I have met. I started to truly realize everything I was being taught was wrong. What I was practicing was not Islam. Islam is following the Ahlul Bayt (Peace be upon them). I was directed to Shia websites where I could read more. I read A Shi’ite Encyclopedia and Then I Was Guided. I used my common sense and logic to figure it out. Who could be greater then the Prophet Mohammed’s (Peace be upon him) family ? Who really knew the Sunnah of our beloved Rasul (Peace be upon him) more, His family or His companions? Who is the Household?

Finally, I had insight to the real Islam. The Islam that makes you happy and content. I feel now greater then I ever have before. The more I study and the more I learn, the more I am thankful to Allah that I am a Shia. I am a Shi’ite of the Ahlul Bayt. I am a follower of the Prophet’s Mohammed Sunnah, his REAL Sunnah.

Becoming a Muslim wasn’t easy. I lost friends and family members became upset. I have had to deal with a lot of verbal abuse from people. The only way I stayed strong and am staying strong is through the duahs and help of my Muslim brothers and sisters.

People do not change over night. One must realize that when he becomes a Muslim it still takes time to change all your ways. It is how ever easier with the help of Allah. ALLAHU AKBAR! Allah is the Greatest!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

(bismillah)

Asalalm aleikum.

My name is Tone, and I am born and raised in Norway. I am 38 years old and work as a teacher.

As most of us here up north, I was born into a family in the protestant norwegian church. Had always conciddered myselfe as a christian. Took my education..as I was supposed to...Got a man...not a husbond...Lived with him for 11 years...We got a daughter during this time...

Basically living like everyone else.

And as "everyone else" I also broke up with my daughters father...Had a time when I was very restless...Still not thinking of my religious life...still concidering myselfe as a christian...

Then it happened. I met my current husbond. He is a muslem. Shia. We got married. Very fast I may say. He was not allowed to even touch me if we didn`t. I loved him. He loved me.

I must say that I have always been very open and adaptable. So when we moved in together, of course we did everything according to the Islamic rules. I still did it for him, not for God or myselfe.

I understood quite soon that I needed to understand why he did all theese things. I didn`t understand. I wanted to understand. So....I started reading. Read the Quran...Talked wit my husbond...I have to admit...argued ith my husbond too...but then little by little...I found the logic..What islam preaches is logic...I need logic...

Like...."Why do God need a successer?" <_< Of course he doesen`t...He is ...and will always be...He does not have a son.

I read a lot in the Bibe too. FOund a lot of indiscrepensies...Like Adam is also called "The son of God". What is the difference between them according to the bible?

I asked a priest...I asked different other freechristian congregations...and noone could answer me...

To make a long story short.....

I now concidder myselfe a muslem...But I know I have a long way to go still. I am learning arabic. Know how to read arabic, but sort of don`t get what I read. :D

The feeling this realisation gives me is great. I feel cared for by God. I want to continue being norwegian. This is my country... My culture... But there is not a discreppencie in being norwegian and a muselm.

I still love my husbond...and he still loves me. :D

This is all from me for this time.

Tone

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

salam wa alaikum,

I was born and raised Catholic. I was in college when I began thinking about my future and the things I desired for my life and the lives of my children. I felt that I would not find it in Christianity. I am an African-American female and when I noticed that just about every race had something of their own that truly made them who they are, my heart broke. Everyone seemed to have some foundation which had been built upon for generations. For myself, I could not find that foundation. Most African Americans' foundation was solely built from slavery and being forced into Christianity.

I wanted something much better for my children, a stable more positive foundation upon which to build their lives and future generations. I found that stability in Islam. I was once told, that the greatest gift that I could give my children is Islam and each time I think about these words, my heart swells with unimaginable joy.

Islam is both religion and lifestyle. You can not have one without the other. That is what Christianity lacked.

I thank Allah each day for guiding me to where I am today.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It is really gr8 2 c people doing a lot of research 4 the right path

I salute those who went through mental and physical stress and found the right path & bacame a Muslim, a servent of Fatima tuz zehra(salawat ullah alaiha)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest ShiaCat

(bismillah)

(salam)

I was born in germany and later lived in the US. I had no religion from birth, but some of my family had converted to judaism. But I lived without religion.

At some point in my life I started to be unhappy about life, was this all to it, this meaningless search for money and other things?

I became interested in Buddhism, and went to Japan and other asian countries to study it. Ultimatly I became a monastic in a Zen monestary.

But it did not anwser all my questions, there was still so much prejuidice among the praticioners and yet they talked about the unity of the universe.

I started thinking about God and meditated about that too, ultimatly

I realized there had to be a God, an ultimate unity.

There were lots of spiritual experiences which encouraged me to search out more.

Then I came across a text by Imam Ali (as) I thought :" Thats a person with real enlightment!" I read more, including the Quran and liked it, but still was a happy Buddhist.

So then I travelled more, into malaysia and more asian countries.I noticed that Muslims were in general more honest, as opposed to other people, I newer had to pay more for the rickshaw or taxi than the locals.I kept on reading and praying, at some point I had dreams related to Islam. Anyway I realised this is THE path and nothing on earth has ever given me more insight, more joy and inner peace! Imam Husain (as) taught me how to see the world and how to live and die. True freedom.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Peace

(bismillah)

(salam)

Aw sis Shia Cat may Allah bless you :) what dreams did you have if you don't mind me asking? And how did you find shia'ism and what text of Imam Ali (as) didyou read? And penultimately lol :Hijabi: what do you use to obtain islamic knowedge where you are? And for me the most interesting :Hijabi: how do you see the ahlul bayt and Imam Hussain (as) it is different if you approch them from an intellectual perspective? Please share what you will and enlighten our hearts :) :P

Edited by FIZA

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest ShiaCat

(salam) wa

:D My dreams :Hijabi: well someone, I did not see, asked me lots of questions, like whats your God?, whats your Book? And I answered as a Muslim! Even so I had not converted yet :blink:

It was really wierd.

Guess I found God, then Imam Ali (as) , honestly to me Islam had some negative image, but shia did not. All I knew of Islam was sunnite, and that was not for me, it was not logical and at the same time not passionate.

The text I read was a sermon without dots, I found on al-islam.org website.

It made me cry so much, and I kept it in my sutra book all the time!

To get knowledge I use mainly the net, thank God for the net! :!!!:

If I have a bit of money I fly to london to get books, but unhapply I read too fast. :(

Intellectual perspective? I dont know if I am an intellectual?

Are I ? To me they (as) are examples of what humanity should be, viceregents on earth. They taught me that life only has a meaning if it is linked to God, the Ultimate Cause, the Ultimate Justice. True freedom can only be foung when God is ones aim , not temporal things or material things.

Does this makes sense?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Peace

(bismillah)

(salam)

:) yeah it makes sense. I would like to pick the knowledge in your brain lol but I'll let you rest. You have an academic perspective - through knowledge you came to the TRUTH. For me the ahlul bayt come alive in my mother's stories -she gets real emotional. So I come to shiaism through emotion not really knowledge if you get what im saying- cus I never had to search for them but i dont appreciate them the way you do? Sis which book shop you go to in London? And are you working in Germany now? Jeez i have sooooooo many questions. LOL Looks like the ahlul bayt gave you an annoying bratty younger sister :!!!: :angel: Im your next test i think - remember Sabr :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest ShiaCat

(salam)

:D :o

No I came because I was thirsty fot REAL life, not the fake thing

thats sold as life these days. I think its so great to find truth though the heart.

If what you had been told as a child would not make sense , you

would leave. So I started with intellectual means, but then emotions came into it .

No, I aint working, they have 17% unemployment here, and I wear hijab and have no recognized diploma, so no chance. More time to spend on the web! :!!!:

Al- Huda bookshop, its the only one I know.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

assalaam alaikhum rahmatullah wabarakhatu, bruhs and sis,

I came to islam after I discovered that Islam was important to me (a life saver) and that I actually matter to Allah and Islam. That Allah is not the hellfire god of myth but in the perfection of Islam Allah is truely Merciful and Compassionate and He does not expect us to be perfect and without flaw. That it is not about being perfect. It's about trying to be a good Muslim and try is all I can do. That no man can stand between Allah. That is about Allah and only those who follow the straight path and those who dedicated to the way of Islam like the Ahl l Bayt (as). There are those who may try and sound pious and as the mortal Muslims who spend more time looking for other Muslims' imperfection but they are not Islam nor do they represent my tru bruhs and sis in the faith. I have read many passages from the Qur'an which address people like these and I try and remain focused when I feel that there are people who misrepresent Islam and judge others forgettting that they are clay. I have read great passionate writings from ibn Ishaq to A.H. S. M. Husayn Tabatabai to Dr Shairiati concerning the Shia faith and the 20th century. It is from here I start, from an historical and spiritual context to overstand the tru meaning of Shia and the reason for Ali's (as) acts and decisions as well as Hussyan's (as) -- that the message they wanted to send was that it was about Islam and always about Islam not about the egos and gains of man. From there I decided to ask for guidance and it has lead me to Shia and whay I see as passion. It was Shia which seems to be the way to be a Muslim, for me (I love my Sunni Bruhs because I will always love my Muslim bruhs and sis, insh'Allah) and a true follower of Islam and the Knowledge and Understanding of the faith.

There is still very much to learn.

Allah hafez

ishaq

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest abaleada

This story may not be re-posted without my permission.

I used to be a Christian. I left the Baptist church after I graduated

from high school. In my area, the Baptist church was terribly

conservative; and that stifled me. The Catholic diocese in my region,

on the other hand, was more liberal. I also felt more natural using

an older language and following regular rituals. When I started the

uni a few years later, I felt as if I was slipping from the church

and losing my faith. I really could not understand why, because none

of the famous questions plagued me as they did other converts. I

sought to regain contact with the Church by finding ways to attend

local churches, associating with other Catholics, reading more

Catholic literature, and joining Catholic emailing lists.

On one such list, I got into an argument with someone who had just

returned from Turkey. Among his descriptions of the place was the

assertion that Muslims worship a pagan moon god. I knew nothing

whatsoever about Islam at the time except for how the name of Allah

appeared in Arabic script. However, I immediate scribbled out a

response: "No, Muslims are not pagans. They worship the same God that

we Christians and the Jews do." My response incited a huge argument

wherein I debated the guy into a pulp. I checked books out of the

library, read the Qur'an, visited Islamic websites, an gained as much

information as I could about topics such as Islamic belief in Allah,

treatment of women, and violence in Islam.

Ramadan came soon after the beginning of that debate. I asked some of

the cultural Muslims around on campus whether I might be able to fast

Ramadan with them. Other young women had asked them the same thing,

and they would laugh and jokingly say yes. They didn't joke around

with me, but rather told me to read up so that I would know what I

was doing. So I kept on reading. The strict nature of monotheistic

beliefs appealed to my logic, and I converted during Ramadan of Hijri

1420, or the Winter semester of 1999/2000.

During my first few months of being a Muslim, I battled personal

struggles such as how to fix my hair to avoid the ponytail hijab

syndrome. Words cannot describe my embarrassment upon returning to my

apartment at the end of the day and finding a braid hanging from my

scarf. I began to braid my hair and leave it under my shirt until I

finally figured out a secure method of wrapping a bun, folding

ponytails, and making other tied and braided hairstyles last.

I also dealt with the stares of several Americans. Some were not

accustomed to white women under a scarf. Most, I found out later,

were on the gossip chain of the culturalist Muslim guys on campus. I

was still underspoken at the time, so all that I did in return was to

stare back. Soon, however, my stare was followed with comments about

how odd it was to see an American going down the hall. The American

stares stopped within the first two weeks. The Arab and Pakistani

gossiping never stopped. It followed me to Houston, in fact. They

have quite a network. I'm still a loose jahil according to these girl-

dating beer-drinking porno-watching weed-smoking wife-beating animals.

After I conquered the ponytail hijab issue, I had the flying scarf

thing to handle. Whenever I wore the Pakistani-styled wrap, the wind

would catch it and literally take it off my head. I about died,

because by that time I had developed a lot of shyness about my head.

Finally, I started pinning and layering scarves. I had developed my

own style.

I also moved through stages in my experience with Islam. I am still

working on things, in fact. My first teachers were Salafis who

insisted that most Muslims were either kuffar or were practising

shirk. After I realised that Sufis do not actually worship graves and

that Shi`as do not worship `Ali, I began to inspect the madhahib, as

well as the Shi`ah sect. A year and a half after I converted to

Islam, I chose the sect and school to which I still adhere today.

Since then, I have had to deal a lot with my pride. It has been an

incredibly painful experience. I have also had to deal with

culturalists who are convinced that a converted woman who studied

Islam intensively before and after converting could not possibly know

as much as a born Muslim male who cared so little for his religion

that he cheated on his wife. I have had to deal with accusations of

kufr and shirk. I have had to deal with sectarianists who suspect me

of trying to missionise my sect to the masses, who broke ties with me

without ever really telling me just why, who slandered me in public,

and who think that the teachings of Islam actually support their

hurtful actions. I have had to deal with misogynistic culturalists

who banned me from their spaces because I spoke out against the

imperialistic traces of classism in their cultures. I can't help but

wonder why I have any pride left after this. Unfortunately, I do.

Make du`ah inshallah.

-Abbie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...