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In the Name of God بسم الله

The Importance of Sexual Education

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Guest DjibrilCisse

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Until about 15 I thought the belly button had something to do with sex. To this day I can barely stand for somebody to me touched there. I was educated in the school lunch room. One of my friend who happened to be drinking his milk had it shoot our his nose when I showed my ignorace. Another fell to the floor he was laughing so hard. They had me up to speed in about half an hour.

Yeah, I can understand that. I remember being so shocked when I found out that men can't bear a child... lol (I was probably 6 or 7).

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(salam)

hmmm... this is a really tricky subject for us parents to deal with. The trick being getting the balance right between not telling enough, (although i find the stories of people not knowing how to consumate their relationship a bit unbeleivable, if true it's gotta be really really rare) and telling them too much, as we don't want them to go and start experimenting before marriage.

Remember that western sex education as has been said before is mainly about safe sex and preventing pregnancy. Islamic sex education is about abstenance before marriage and the wonderful importance attatched to halaal sexual relations. Now I beleive that we should address the abstenance part with our children, which would mean explaining what the hell your talking about, not just saying 'don't do it, it's a sin' and also talk about the pressures that they may experience in a society that promote sexual activity from a very young age and before marriage.

Keep everything age appropriate, i dont beleive in dicussing the how's and why's before they are of the age to understand or practice it(halaal). Answer all of thier questions without getting mad (this is quite hard) and i think the main thing to drum into them from a young age is that in Islam these relations are very healthy and endorsed but within our own halaal rules. Explain why this is important....why is sex outside marriage haraam, why do you have to be a cetain age to get married, how marriage isn't just about sex and how sexual sins such as adultery, zina, homosexuallity, promiscuity e.t.c are not just haraam but why they are haraam. So basically tell them sex isn't a bad thing, it just has to be practiced correctly.

Then when they near the age of needing to know, how, then you can speak about that. I personally think it should be done, father to son, mother to daughter (ha ha, i get out of it )....but...i think this is also tricky...i am not a supporter of parents discussing absolutely everything with their children in regards to sex like many western parents do. i think that is yuk, since the child, who is prolly an adult when u have these conversations will be thinking.....well that's what mum and dad get up to... :squeez: I'm not atall saying that as parents we have to deny any indication of ever having that kind of relationship, but Islam does encourage us to keep private these activities in the name of modesty, so i would suggest that from a very young age, we show appropriate affection toward each other infront of our children, so that we don't appear not to have any intimacy between us. I know that in some cultures couples will never show any physical affection infront of anyone, not even their own children, i.e no physical contact, not even holding hands, and in extreme case pretending that they don't share a bed. It's this kind of extreme taboo that i feel may be leading to the situations described , that or the couple need treatment of a different kind.

anyway as i said...it's not straighforward how to correctly approach this subject with your children, may Allah guide us all

your sister

Syeda

Edited by syedashia
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dont be surprised..... there are tons of such ppl....

I know this lady who got married and she didnt know jack.... even the concept of child birth was alien to her... of course the guy was quite understanding.... got her into a crash course....

but seriously this is a problem ... with the more conservative families...

in my school there was no sex ed.... we just had movies and magazines... well atleast we learnt!!!

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Mujji cover your eyes :P

this is a load of crock.

(salam)

We are not watching movies or pictures, don't worry, only the diagram which I have no interest to see.

Muslims in the class ask me about this topic!!!!! :blink: Halal? Haram? etc.

This year all the students' minds are sex, it is bad...

Everything is good in its own time, They are teaching it WAY BEFORE.

When the time is good for marriage then I should learn this. NOT NOW :blink:

Hassan Tabatabai

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So if your parents don't teach you any thing...and you get married...how do you know what to do.... :blink:

(salam)

Everything good in its own time. These days you know everything from movies, books, articles, internet, films, TV, radio, people, etc.

It is sick

Hassan Tabatabai

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maybe people asked them/told them about "sleeping together" an they took it literally. So it was explained but confused them because the word sex was never use nor explicit language.

lol ^_^ i wonder if they would even know what 'sex' meant.

the situation between the couple is truly interesting and i thought i was sheltered as a child lol. despite my parents both being medical doctors, they never talked to me or my siblings about sex. nor did they give permission for the school to give us sex ed. as usual, every year around that time, i and the few asians in my class would be herded into the library and given busy work. i learned via peers and by looking things up in the dictionary. needless to say, i was also told a lot of misinformation. should i be blessed with children, i will not take the route my parents took with me. sex education is important because, as they say, knowledge is power. we need to inform our youth so that they can protect themselves not only in the medical sense (i.e., stds) but also from people who may prey on them by feeding them lies (i.e., u can't get pregnant the first time). there's nothing wrong with talking to one's kids about sex, provided they are mature enough to understand and is talked about in an appropriate way. sex is a beautiful and natural process.

p.s. my dad still changes the channel when animals are about to mate on those nature shows...atleast he does when im in the room ^_^

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hmmm i have heard times and times again how imprtant "sexual education" is but just based on my persoanl opinion, i would prefer kids finding "stuff" out the old fashioned way "drived by curiousity" I mean comon dont takeaway one of the major pats of "growing up" from them...........

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p.s. my dad still changes the channel when animals are about to mate on those nature shows...atleast he does when im in the room  ^_^

its useless for your dad to change channel when you know what the animals are going to do. :D :D :D :D

isn't it :D :D :D

(salam)

I think he's changing the channels cause he knows that watching animals mate, isn't right. He has some modesty, which is a rare thing nowadays.

WaSalaam, Hajar

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Selams.

I think sexual education is very important as it will be a vital part for the rest of your life.

Imagine making love with your sweetheart, yet you don't feel any pleasure due to lack of knowledge. :(

I think the brothers should be taught what melts a woman's heart (such as love, romance, flowers, you name it sis ;))

but the women as well should be taught what attracts men (usually its obedient or naughty girls I've read).

I think it is important as when you feel the love of your soulmate as well as being able to make sweet and pleasurable love with him, you will realize God's love and care so much more.

If you come a human being so close that you for a few moments actually melt to one in your pleasure and love, then what about the infinite loving God who is closer to us then our own jugular vein?

Just my thoughts.

Fi Aman Illah.

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p.s. my dad still changes the channel when animals are about to mate on those nature shows...atleast he does when im in the room  ^_^

its useless for your dad to change channel when you know what the animals are going to do. :D :D :D :D

isn't it :D :D :D

(salam)

I think he's changing the channels cause he knows that watching animals mate, isn't right. He has some modesty, which is a rare thing nowadays.

WaSalaam, Hajar

to be honest, i'm relieved when he does. it's nice, that despite my being an adult, im still his little girl :)

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hmmm i have heard times and times again how imprtant "sexual education" is but just based on my persoanl opinion, i would prefer kids finding "stuff" out the old fashioned way "drived by curiousity" I mean comon dont takeaway one of the major pats of "growing up" from them...........

the problem with that is that the kids can also pick up a lot of misinformation. i don't know whether id sit them aside and spring it on them. it will probably embarrass the hell out of them and i don't know how comfortable id be, since i never had a parent who sat down with me. however, should they have questions, id rather they ask me than going to their friends who may tell them who knows what....atleast that way, if they're going to be misled, it will be by me lol ^_^ .

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You wont take away one of the "major parts of growing up". The phenomenon of kids and their sexual curiosity will remain from now till doomsday, it is but a natural part of growing up. However, as a parent, you can try and shape that process in the correct way by giving proper information, and btw, if wont be just your kids who will benefit, no sooner than you impart this wisdom on your child, will they pass it on to their friends and colleagues.

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I have heard of a rather similar example. A woman from a remote village of Pakistan had been unable to conceive despite "trying" for 5 years. When they finally sought medical help, the doctor questioned them in detail. And to his surprise, he found out that the couple had been engaging in anal sex only because they thought that was the only way to do it. They were completely unaware of vaginal sex!

Cant you have babies thru anal sex? :huh:

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Cant you have babies thru anal sex? :huh:

Peer, you cannot be serious about your question can you??? Anyway, I wont judge your naivety, but the answer is NO, you cannot conceive through anal sex.

Edited by Syedmed
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Selams.

I think sexual education is very important as it will be a vital part for the rest of your life.

Imagine making love with your sweetheart, yet you don't feel any pleasure due to lack of knowledge. :(

I think the brothers should be taught what melts a woman's heart (such as love, romance, flowers, you name it sis ;))

but the women as well should be taught what attracts men (usually its obedient or naughty girls I've read).

I think it is important as when you feel the love of your soulmate as well as being able to make sweet and pleasurable love with him, you will realize God's love and care so much more.

If you come a human being so close that you for a few moments actually melt to one in your pleasure and love, then what about the infinite loving God who is closer to us then our own jugular vein?

Just my thoughts.

Fi Aman Illah.

(salam)

It is important in it's right time not in grade 6 or 9

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I have heard of a rather similar example. A woman from a remote village of Pakistan had been unable to conceive despite "trying" for 5 years. When they finally sought medical help, the doctor questioned them in detail. And to his surprise, he found out that the couple had been engaging in anal sex only because they thought that was the only way to do it. They were completely unaware of vaginal sex!

Cant you have babies thru anal sex? :huh:

(salam)

LOL :!!!:

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Cant you have babies thru anal sex? :huh:

Peer, you cannot be serious about your question can you??? Anyway, I wont judge your naivety, but the answer is NO, you cannot conceive through anal sex

peer,

you are being facetious right? if not, you should thank syedmed for sparing you from being the subject of a future article lol

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Aslamo Alaikum,

Anal sex is not haraam.

No: 1

Question:My question is, what does the holy book Quran and prophet Mohammad (pbuh) say about anal sex even if the wife agrees to experience this with her husband?

Thank you

Answer:As deduced from narration anal sex is permissible; but it is strongly undesirable. Permission is bound to wife’s agreement and consent to anal sex. If she is not consenting, it would be impermissible.

No: 2

Question: Is anal intercourse permissible.?

Answer:Anal intercourse is permissible if wife is consenting but it is strongly undesirable (makrooh).

Source: http://www.sistani.org/html/eng/menu/4/?la...&code=38&page=1

Question:I want to know the ruling on oral sex?

Answer:It is obligatory precaution not permissible; it's very disgust if she agrees.

No: 2

Question:Is oral sex permissible?

Answer:It is permissible.

No: 3

Question:Is oral sex permissible between husband and wife?

Answer:It's allowed provided no liquid coming out swallowed.

Source: http://www.sistani.org/html/eng/menu/4/?la...code=135&page=1

Fee Amaan Allah

Edited by Hasnain
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Hasnain: Anal Sex is makruh according to most, but according to Late Sayyid Khoei qas it is haram.

Syedmed: I was being serious.. Whats up with the old jewish saying that the child conceived thru anal sex is squint? :huh:

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Peer, ok, here we go then, biology lesson, sigh. Following vaginal sexual intercourse sperm is deposited at the base of the uterus. Muscular contractions in the woman lead to the cervix dipping into the pool of sperm. The sperm must then pass past the cervix, up the uterus, to the fallopian tubes, and only one fallopian tube bears an egg and from there the sperms surround the egg, an acrosomal reaction takes place, followed by the cortical reaction, followed by fertilization and formation of the zygote.

Following anal sexual intercourse, the sperms are deposited in the anus/rectum, which comes off the sigmoid colon. And as earth shattering as this may sound, your intestines are far far away from the Fallopian tubes which house the egg or the ovum.

I hope this small lecture resolves any misunderstanding you have may Peer. You will find a bill for services rendered, and education given in your mail box by the middle of next week. Glad to be of service. I do suggest you read up, and Biology by Neil Campbell is an excellent book that you can get from Amazon.com

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I didn't know what S** was until I was in 2nd or 3rd year of undergrad.  After I found out "what it was physically" a lot of jokes started making sense :D

i learnt it umm i think the 2nd day i came to canada :rolleyes: and dat was grade 7

i mean i knew b4 that..but didnt know n e thing...if you get what i mean...

Edited by Ali_Imran
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^Ok, thanks..

Yeah, I got that book, but I dont got enough time to read that THICKEST book in the world to know just about this stuff. I have already read Campbell's other book (Biology: Concepts and Connections ), but it didn't talk about anal sex.

Anyways, thanks for the information.

Wa'Salam

Ali

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