do any of you feel extremely lonely in the west as a minority ?

[Guest Guest]

Im Iranian and I extremely feel lonely all my life here . what about you ?

[notme]

Everyone feels lonely in the west.  Individualistic culture does that.  

[Abu Hassanain]

22 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Im Iranian and I extremely feel lonely all my life here . what about you ?

Salam

what area are you in ? There are many Irani Hussaynia with duaa Kumayl and duaa tawwasul all over . Hussaynia in California even have classes for quranic commentaty  in Persian as well as Persian poetry nights 

wallahu Alam 

[Hameedeh]

31 minutes ago, Abu Hassanain said:

Salam

what area are you in ? There are many Irani Hussaynia with duaa Kumayl and duaa tawwasul all over . Hussaynia in California even have classes for quranic commentaty  in Persian as well as Persian poetry nights 

wallahu Alam 

Salam. He is in the Dallas-Fort Worth-Frisco area of Texas.

[Guest Solaris]

On 9/7/2026 at 8:26 PM, notme said:

Everyone feels lonely in the west.  Individualistic culture does that.  

^ 100% this is the biggest issue for loneliness

Combine that with the tech/social media age of being connected but not connected (superficial relationships), or how everyone on social media has to show off/announce their familial/friend/spousal relationships and how grateful they are to have them to make you feel worse if you happen to lack one of those, i.e like a parental relationship

As a minority living in a mostly caucasian rural town in the West, there is some edge of loneliness in that the people don't entirely comprehend your lifestyle or priorities or values. Maybe the kindness that's around can offset it a bit but there's always something missing.

But as someone who grew up in a melting pot/diverse city with many minorities or Muslims...I think the minority crowd themselves can be very good at making outliers feel lonely. If you don't happen to come from the most well endowed households, or if you didn't grow up with that much culture that most ethnic minorities grew up with, they will certainly isolate you. I no longer look at diverse populations (or places with my ethnicity) as welcoming or as a sign I won't feel alone. Sometimes I find (and perhaps it's only my experience) ethnic minorities sometimes are so tribalistic or all about the herd - if you don't think and act exactly like them, to the tee, you don't belong in the fold, they look at you like you're an alien.

So at the end of the day it's the mentality and attitude of the people around you and if they mesh with you, and if they're not so individualistic...versus how diverse they are or what races they comprise of and if you're a minority or not.  And it's about how you make of the situation.

Inshallah may you meet the right people to allay that feeling, and perhaps in your case there could be safe online resources to assist. May God fill your loneliness.

[Abu Hassanain]

Salam

momin for Farsi English Urdu 

Ilm for Urdu maybe Farsi 

imam Ali as for Arabic 

all in Dallas area 

wallahu Alam 

[Hameedeh]

9 hours ago, Abu Hassanain said:

momin for Farsi English Urdu

Salam. Thank you.

For those of you searching for a Shia community near Dallas/Fort Worth, you can find out.

Momin of Texas or Islamic Center of MOMIN is officially named the Metroplex Organization of Muslims in North Texas.

9 hours ago, Abu Hassanain said:

Ilm for Urdu maybe Farsi 

ILM Islamic Center or ILM Shia Center is the IILM Islamic Center.

9 hours ago, Abu Hassanain said:

imam Ali as for Arabic 

Imam Ali Islamic Center is in Dallas County, not the city of Dallas.

[Abu Hassanain]

On 9/8/2026 at 9:37 PM, Guest Solaris said:

^ 100% this is the biggest issue for loneliness

Combine that with the tech/social media age of being connected but not connected (superficial relationships), or how everyone on social media has to show off/announce their familial/friend/spousal relationships and how grateful they are to have them to make you feel worse if you happen to lack one of those, i.e like a parental relationship

As a minority living in a mostly caucasian rural town in the West, there is some edge of loneliness in that the people don't entirely comprehend your lifestyle or priorities or values. Maybe the kindness that's around can offset it a bit but there's always something missing.

But as someone who grew up in a melting pot/diverse city with many minorities or Muslims...I think the minority crowd themselves can be very good at making outliers feel lonely. If you don't happen to come from the most well endowed households, or if you didn't grow up with that much culture that most ethnic minorities grew up with, they will certainly isolate you. I no longer look at diverse populations (or places with my ethnicity) as welcoming or as a sign I won't feel alone. Sometimes I find (and perhaps it's only my experience) ethnic minorities sometimes are so tribalistic or all about the herd - if you don't think and act exactly like them, to the tee, you don't belong in the fold, they look at you like you're an alien.

So at the end of the day it's the mentality and attitude of the people around you and if they mesh with you, and if they're not so individualistic...versus how diverse they are or what races they comprise of and if you're a minority or not.  And it's about how you make of the situation.

Inshallah may you meet the right people to allay that feeling, and perhaps in your case there could be safe online resources to assist. May God fill your loneliness.

Salam

what’s your describing is just the category of the modern world instance Asia is very class oriented. Socialization isn’t much valued in Easter and the place is where it was so in southeast Europe people are busy, tending to their own affairs and only really socialize with their group money in class is a big issue in the Middle Eastern North Africa

There’s a minority if you want common culture general, you have to find other minorities liberals and big cities may be open to some extent but not other expense they accept our culture and differences as long as we accept LGBTQ feminism, etc. when they find out we don’t they don’t like us anymore

It’s best for one to deal with and live in the world as it is and not the world as it should be or was many years ago

wallahu Alam 

[notme]

2 hours ago, Abu Hassanain said:

It’s best for one to deal with and live in the world as it is and not the world as it should be or was many years ago

Maybe.  Or change the world.  

[Abu Hassanain]

6 hours ago, notme said:

Maybe.  Or change the world.  

Salam

the best way to do this is to prepare the way for the kingdom of Allah under Imam Mahdi as 

we can make small changes work with the least dangerous political party reform our enclaves where we lived under our own laws, etc., to an extent, but for the most part things will continue to get worse and worse

I spent years and years in seminary and teaching and traveling the country my wife and cemetery seminary education and came from a clerical family ate a minor one and my son has difficulties, and most of the kids. His age are worse off, and when I travel the country. I see it the same or worse than all our communities so I’m not holding much hope of it getting better. We always try to make things better, but I don’t see much hope in the practical.

If you have any ideas or input, let me know, but my impression of your post over the years is that you’re also isolated far from our people as well and I don’t know how much experience you have with large communities where you’ve traveled to, but if you have some insight, please share

wallahu Alam 

[notme]

14 minutes ago, Abu Hassanain said:

If you have any ideas or input, let me know, but my impression of your post over the years is that you’re also isolated far from our people as well and I don’t know how much experience you have with large communities where you’ve traveled to, but if you have some insight, please share

I don't know any Shia locally, and few Muslims of any denomination. I only impact my workplace community of teachers and young students and my own household. Everyone can change the thinking of the people immediately around them. Yes, probably the world will get worse until Imam Mahdi appears, but I can't not try to make things better where I can. If not to make things better, what is the point to being part of a society? 

[Abu Nur]

أَشْكُو إِلَيْكَ غُرْبَتِي وَبُعْدَ دَارِي

ashku ilayka ghurbati wa bu`da dari

I complain to You about my alienation and my foreignness

يَا صَاحِبِي فِي وَحْدَتِي
ya sahibi fi wahdati
O my companion in my loneliness!

 

[Guest Solaris]

On 9/10/2026 at 11:38 AM, Abu Hassanain said:

what’s your describing is just the category of the modern world instance Asia is very class oriented.

 

On 9/10/2026 at 11:38 AM, Abu Hassanain said:

It’s best for one to deal with and live in the world as it is and not the world as it should be or was many years ago

My poor brain always has a frustration understanding your posts, I respectfully wish you wouldn't use the talk-to-type feature.

To me it looks like the solution is that Asians need to change their backward class mentality if I understood you right - our religion is forward thinking and wanted to break that small thinking.

I don't think it's simply a class thing, there's an added layer when an ethnic community has moved to the west - the flourishing community that settles in the west (not all) becomes a more dog-eat-dog world. They also start making lines that didn't exist on how "cultural" one is or has to be or what's considered akin to be cultural to begin with, or, that you have to be "cultural" to be accepted. Woe to the ones born here, who never went to the motherland and didn't happen pick up enough culture despite at least maintaining their religion.

Yeah ethnic communities located in the eastern world are certainly class oriented. But some sense of connection or trust between people in general was preserved in the east where the communities all share the same ethnic background versus a melting pot society - that is lost among the people that moved to the west.

On 9/10/2026 at 1:40 PM, notme said:

Maybe.  Or change the world. 

On 9/10/2026 at 7:46 PM, Abu Hassanain said:

the best way to do this is to prepare the way for the kingdom of Allah under Imam Mahdi as 

Which, in a nutshell on the personal level  is, be a good person i.e, follow your religion to the tee (esp it's akhlaqi + social priorities) and be above and beyond with it. Eventually everyone around you is affected, and it reverberates (and pray for the relief).

If we all truly did - ethnic communities wouldn't have the negative traits I mentioned in previous post, no one would feel left out or lonely. 

I guess the advantage of being lonely is perhaps the possible inspiration to change or evolve our own nature to ensure we don't let the feeling seep into others.

[notme]

5 hours ago, Guest Solaris said:

Which, in a nutshell on the personal level  is, be a good person i.e, follow your religion to the tee (esp it's akhlaqi + social priorities) and be above and beyond with it. Eventually everyone around you is affected, and it reverberates (and pray for the relief).

If we all truly did - ethnic communities wouldn't have the negative traits I mentioned in previous post, no one would feel left out or lonely. 

I guess the advantage of being lonely is perhaps the possible inspiration to change or evolve our own nature to ensure we don't let the feeling seep into others.

This is beautifully stated.  

[ireallywannaknow]

I don't feel lonely at the moment but maybe I am and maybe I'm just so accustomed to it that I don't realize. I only realize when I'm out and about and the rare occasion when someone seems to treats me like an actual human. It's such a stark difference to the norm. Like yesterday I was leaving the store with my million+ kids and an older gentleman pretended to hold the door for me (it was an automatic sliding door) and we laughed about it. It was such a small thing but the acknowledgement of being seen and treated with a polite gesture was memorable. Especially since I always feel awkward sticking out the way I do as a black abaya clad black Muslim woman with thousands of children in a rural historically racist area of the south. I wish I was better at interacting with others in a truly human way but I get scared I'll be rejected by someone who is not in the mood to chat. There is this amazingly kind cashier young man at my local dollar store. I really wish I could ask him what inspires him to go out of his way every day to truly see people and be so kind in a world like this where most cashiers just ring you up without the slightest acknowledgement but I feel it would be inappropriate. But I'm much older than him so maybe its okay? Plus he's super gay lol.