Uncertainty after aqd

[zays]

So me and my fiancé are living in a long distance relationship in 2 different countries to finish our educations and only visit each other for a bit every year. The aqd has been done for us, but we are planning to get married after our education which may take 3 years. He has been asking for the complete intimate relationship since it will take long for marriage and we are long distance, but I refuse due to us not being married but also am unsure. There are a lot of taboos on this topic, so what decision do I make? 

[Abu Hassanain]

5 hours ago, zays said:

So me and my fiancé are living in a long distance relationship in 2 different countries to finish our educations and only visit each other for a bit every year. The aqd has been done for us, but we are planning to get married after our education which may take 3 years. He has been asking for the complete intimate relationship since it will take long for marriage and we are long distance, but I refuse due to us not being married but also am unsure. There are a lot of taboos on this topic, so what decision do I make? 

Salam

once the Aqd or unlimited time permanent marriage contract is done you are married

rukhasa? (translating, not easy but you know what I mean.) in other cultural aspects where people basically are married, but they’re act like they’re engaged or dating is a cultural thing and has no bearing on islam

Once you have the religious wedding, the public marriage ceremony really isn’t that important cultural rates important religiously it’s not

Even it could be considered problematic that you’re a disobedient wife for not fulfilling your husband‘s lawful needs, which you are obligated to, especially if he’s financially supporting you.

If he’s not financially supporting you at all and that’s a little difference, but not all scholars view it that way

wallahu Alam 

[zays]

@Abu Hassanain Wsalam, thank you for the response. Just to clarify, the aqd is not permanent and is timely (for 2-3 years) until it is basically read again. Therefore there are no financial burdens on him yet. 

[Abu Hassanain]

On 3/14/2026 at 7:59 AM, zays said:

@Abu Hassanain Wsalam, thank you for the response. Just to clarify, the aqd is not permanent and is timely (for 2-3 years) until it is basically read again. Therefore there are no financial burdens on him yet. 

Salam

thsts not Aqd than Aqd in the Shariah is the term use for permanent marriage

Do You have a mutah ? 
 

If it was read, as I marry myself to you for the known dowry and he said, I accept you as my wife, but in Arabic don’t have time to type Arabic 

Then it’s permanent marriage reading it twice doesn’t make it actually permanent if it was right as permanent marriage but the formula for permanent marriage. The first time it is, you have obligations he has financial responsibilities.

You either did temporary marriage or permanent marriage. There’s no in between an Islamic law culture cannot override law.

wallahu Alam 

[zays]

@Abu Hassanain

Wsalam, yes it was temporary aqd that was read for a specific time, so there are no obligations from my side I believe. In such case, what is the best thing to do?