Will Allah ((سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)) grant me the opposite of my dua if it's againt a sunnah?

[Guest AnonM]

Assalamu alaikum,

It it true that, if you make dua to Allah to not give you a certain thing continously that the literally opposite happens instead? So say... it's a big sunnah, that's not wajib but very mustahab like conceiving children as a woman?

I'm not gonna eloborate further why I'd choose this example right now, but that is for example a thing going on in my life rn. 

The older people around me tell me it's sinful to ask for something like that, and instead of Him granting me that exact Dua, he'll give such people multiple kids instead to teach a lesson. So it's quite unnerving.

I can explain more about my case to other people if they would require such info to further understand where i come from. It's of course untraditional and not exactly "accepted" in my culture... but yea that's about as far as I can explain for now.

[Guest Ali Zulfiquar]

I’d need more information 

[Abu Hassanain]

On 10/13/2025 at 3:31 PM, Guest AnonM said:

Assalamu alaikum,

It it true that, if you make dua to Allah to not give you a certain thing continously that the literally opposite happens instead? So say... it's a big sunnah, that's not wajib but very mustahab like conceiving children as a woman?

I'm not gonna eloborate further why I'd choose this example right now, but that is for example a thing going on in my life rn. 

The older people around me tell me it's sinful to ask for something like that, and instead of Him granting me that exact Dua, he'll give such people multiple kids instead to teach a lesson. So it's quite unnerving.

I can explain more about my case to other people if they would require such info to further understand where i come from. It's of course untraditional and not exactly "accepted" in my culture... but yea that's about as far as I can explain for now.

Salam

there is no authentic narration discussion in general theology or speculative, theology, philosophy, or mysticism that indicate this

You hear almost every opinion in the seminary of not heard this one

This seems more like a cultural thing

For instance, there are many reasons a woman may wish not to get pregnant again, age, poverty, health reasons, and if she prays not to have children, the most merciful is merciful why would he grant her something she doesn’t want that is only recommended as a punishment

If someone doesn’t want to get married and feels they would be a poor spouse. Why would the most high and flick them on someone else?

even the philosophers and mystics who are of the opinion, we pick our parents we pick our children we pick our spouse. We pick a race we pick to be born descendants of the 14th or not descendants of the 14th pick to be born believers disbeliever converts pick what to switch to pick our test trials for awards and punishments in the primordial world even they are generally opinion that some of these choices can be amended as they fall under  badat not Qadrat once we come to this world

Also, most of the philosophical discussions I’ve read or attended on these type of topics indicate that forbidden applications are just ignored, not granted or punished

wallahu Alam 

[Guest Guest AnonM]

On 11/2/2025 at 7:28 PM, Abu Hassanain said:

Salam

there is no authentic narration discussion in general theology or speculative, theology, philosophy, or mysticism that indicate this

You hear almost every opinion in the seminary of not heard this one

This seems more like a cultural thing

For instance, there are many reasons a woman may wish not to get pregnant again, age, poverty, health reasons, and if she prays not to have children, the most merciful is merciful why would he grant her something she doesn’t want that is only recommended as a punishment

If someone doesn’t want to get married and feels they would be a poor spouse. Why would the most high and flick them on someone else?

even the philosophers and mystics who are of the opinion, we pick our parents we pick our children we pick our spouse. We pick a race we pick to be born descendants of the 14th or not descendants of the 14th pick to be born believers disbeliever converts pick what to switch to pick our test trials for awards and punishments in the primordial world even they are generally opinion that some of these choices can be amended as they fall under  badat not Qadrat once we come to this world

Also, most of the philosophical discussions I’ve read or attended on these type of topics indicate that forbidden applications are just ignored, not granted or punished

wallahu Alam 

But where exactly do we then draw the line between the saying that "This dunya is a prison for the believer", suggesting that the believers will all experience hardships that can become severe the more good deeds the believer tries to do, and that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) doesn't give a believer a trial that is more than they can handle?

Cause we humans think we want to make certain boundaries to our lives so we won't make unwise decisions that may lead to poor decisions in the future, thus damaging their tawakkul and hope. But then others around us tell them that this life is meant for suffering but we'd get rewarded for it nontheless. I however disapprove of such things. If one for example believes parenthood is an unwise route to go for (because of health (mental and physical, trauma, lack of social support etc) because it could potentially make them a more miserable person, should they just go with they believe is best for them or not?

[Abu Hassanain]

16 hours ago, Guest Guest AnonM said:

But where exactly do we then draw the line between the saying that "This dunya is a prison for the believer", suggesting that the believers will all experience hardships that can become severe the more good deeds the believer tries to do, and that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) doesn't give a believer a trial that is more than they can handle?

Cause we humans think we want to make certain boundaries to our lives so we won't make unwise decisions that may lead to poor decisions in the future, thus damaging their tawakkul and hope. But then others around us tell them that this life is meant for suffering but we'd get rewarded for it nontheless. I however disapprove of such things. If one for example believes parenthood is an unwise route to go for (because of health (mental and physical, trauma, lack of social support etc) because it could potentially make them a more miserable person, should they just go with they believe is best for them or not?

Salam

we have recommended to constantly pray chapter 2 verse 20 one one raise our hands and prayers throughout the day in different circumstances

this interpretation of prison of world. The necessary of suffering is the theology of lazy people to be blondes. This is a reason why many of our countries are terrible. It’s an excuse not to help the poor. It’s an excuse not to have social welfare programs and it’s an excuse, not to support education. It’s an excuse to abuse the rights of women, children, and animals.

At one point, the Muslims had the best hospitals in the world we invented, modern sanitation, sanitariums and mental institutions European center mentally ill to our hospitals to get treatment. Arabic was the language of medicine.books like Al Qanun were the gold stansrd . The command of the faithful used to pay from the public treasury people who to take care of their elderly spouse, disabled spouse, elderly parents, disabled children, the command of the faithful used to take money and give the poor stipend many times he would give them land, teach them a skill so they could start a business and become self-sufficient Social welfare. Healthcare and education are very important.  Imam Jafar Sadiq as at his school taught the religious sciences, as well as mathematics philosophy, astronomy, blacksmithing, and farming. We have narrations that indicate this here and there’s a shame they have an all gathered in one place Islam always promoted education in improving society and improving oneself.

I had a very prominent speaker and Shaikh come visit the Canada for Urdu. I was there for English. He was there for Udo. We were talking about some narrations. He said oh that’s too hard. That’s not for everyone that’s only for the 14. You know a big scholar needs to be big and fat because he needs to eat a lot to do good work. Let the people suffer. Don’t try to help them too much. Those narrations are too hard to follow. 

It was a long and horrid discussion, but this is the mentality of a lot of people, and this is a weird and wrong mentality

there was one speaker in the US we talked about the verse man was created for toil could apply to certain races were meant to suffer and have it hired all the time so we should leave them to suffer and not help them because they’ll get a reward after they die this is a very prominent speaker who said this to a group of scholars he didn’t say this publicly, but this is the thinking of some weird people

As for everybody having children or making supplication not to have children, our Lord did not say make 20 billion people on the Earth and use up all the resources and run out of water have more people than technology, the natural environment, etc. can support

We are seeing corrupt culture, not true Islam

wallahu Alam 

[Guest Mastoid]

As an observer to the thread, the OP mentions a question I feel hasn’t been answered in my eyes.

For example

A person feels it is unwise to have a child. Perhaps they feel they would not be a good parent, or they feel their current state of resources are not sufficient.

Or someone feels they would make a bad spouse.

Yet marriage and having children is the recommended lifestyle of our religion. Yes, when asking this specific question no one is asking about having a billion kids or about blindly doing sunnah/mustahab deeds without thinking first.

but the question is - Do we go with our gut and pray to avoid these things, or is that “wrong”, and we have to have tawakkul and pray through these events we are so afraid of / that God would assist us in these matters?  (This is the question in my mind when reading the subsequent response/question in the thread).
 

From my own uneducated perspective as to whether God would grant the opposite of the dua; I find whatever occurs in life it’s what’s best for you, at that time, not necessarily that because what you are asking for is “not good” and therefore you will be tested with what you don’t want. At least because otherwise that would make for an unmerciful and vengeful sounding Lord. 

 

But that isn’t to say life will test you through trials you don’t wish for either. Again those trials are what’s best for you at that time for whatever reason the Divine is aware of.

[Guest AnonM]

On 12/7/2025 at 8:52 PM, Guest Mastoid said:

From my own uneducated perspective as to whether God would grant the opposite of the dua; I find whatever occurs in life it’s what’s best for you, at that time, not necessarily that because what you are asking for is “not good” and therefore you will be tested with what you don’t want. At least because otherwise that would make for an unmerciful and vengeful sounding Lord. 

 

But that isn’t to say life will test you through trials you don’t wish for either. Again those trials are what’s best for you at that time for whatever reason the Divine is aware of.

In that case, let's take the people from the middle east rn, who are either experiencing genocide, severe handicaps, women getting r*ped and children becoming homeless etc. Whether it's Gaza, Sudan, Congo... I can already confidently say that my level of tawakkul and patience is nowhere near and will never come close to what the muslims there have. Never. I can never fathom their trust in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and how they still stick to what Islam tells them to do despite their life circumstances making some people overseas wonder how they haven't lost their religion or hope yet. It's unfathomable for them. 

I would have probably lost my hope and tawakkul if I were in their place. But it's perhaps because of that, that Allah decided to make be born and raised up in the West where things are much easier (whilst experiencing other problems and dilemmas on its own.) I could never live like the folks in the Middle East with the amount of corruption going on.

With how my mindset is (and how my personal beliefs and tawakkul fluctuate ever so often) , chances are that I could have easily spiraled until I lost all of my religion. That's a dangerous route to go to. Would that have been my own fault and weakness for eventually drifting away from Allah, with Him deciding to let go of me? Or was it a conscious decision of him to place my soul somewhere else on earth because he knew that possibility was there and he'd try to save me by placing me in a war free country?

Everyone experiences different trials of different severity. But no layman muslim would be able to survive just any other Muslim their trial, for it could lead them into kuffr or disbelief by its hardship. Or... they'd be able to endure it, but they'll eventually lose themselves. Sabotaging their inner self just to please Allah whilst they feel like spiraling and losing or suffering by themselves in silence (counterproductive when it comes to practicing the Sunnah?).

[Abbas.]

Assalam Alaykum

A wish that is fair and that does not harm anyone gives the one with the wish the confidence that it will be accepted with the will of Allah.

The sunnah could have been reccommended in certain context and circumstances, both individual and collectively. The God who has the attribute of being All-Knowing becomes a life saver in this regard for the one making the wish