Pregnant with my ex boyfriend

[Guest Ayananda]

I was in a relationship with a muslim guy for only about 6 months. Im not a muslim myself. We ended the relationship 2 months ago and I found out shortly after that I am pregnant. We have a age gap of 12 years, and he has always known that Im was not on any birthcontrol. He was okay with it. I was always thinking about the age difference, because I am the older one, and wasnt sure how we could make this Work, mostly because of he being muslim and Im not. But he was always positive and said we would fix it somehow. I cared a lot about him. 
But it ended because it could not work.

And now I am pregnant. And he does not want me to keep the baby, saying I will ruin his whole life. Not sure where Im toing with this but I need advice. How much will I damage him and his family. What should I do? 

[notme]

14 hours ago, Guest Ayananda said:

And he does not want me to keep the baby, saying I will ruin his whole life. Not sure where Im toing with this but I need advice. How much will I damage him and his family. What should I do? 

Except in cases where the mother's life is in danger, abortion is not permitted for Muslims. Since you are not Muslim, you should do what your conscience requires, but your ex would be committing a grave sin to recommend you get an abortion and he will have to answer for it on the day of judgement.  

Fathers are required to provide for the material and spiritual needs of their children whether they are currently married to the mother or not. It is not your business to worry about his reputation; he should have thought about that before having sex with you. 

Treat this situation exactly like you would if he were non-Muslim, because he is certainly not acting as a Muslim man should.  

[AbdusSibtayn]

Muslim (convert) here. 

Sorry that this happened to you. 

Let his family know. Nothing doing. They must deal with the mess their son has made. 

Make them pay for the baby if you decide to keep it. 

Drag them to the court if necessary. 

Let that (EDITED OUT) know that choices come with consequences. He made the choice, now he must face the music. 

[KulluNafsin]

Make sure his family knows, and make sure he will be paying for this child. This is his only path to make amends. 

[coldcow]

On 2/13/2025 at 9:32 AM, AbdusSibtayn said:

Let that (EDITED OUT) know that choices come with consequences. He made the choice, now he must face the music. 

This.  I would let him know that you plan on keeping the child (assuming you do), and give him a chance to either marry you, or accept legal responsibility.  If he doesn't, then his family should be made aware, and potentially the courts.

 

Also, depending on where you live, make sure you keep yourself safe.  Don't let him bully or hurt you.  

[root]

He isn't allowed to tell you to terminate, and he is 100% responsible for the child and needs to play his role as the father. There are no ifs and buts about it.

[AbdusSibtayn]

On 3/4/2025 at 6:16 AM, coldcow said:

This.  I would let him know that you plan on keeping the child (assuming you do), and give him a chance to either marry you, or accept legal responsibility.  If he doesn't, then his family should be made aware, and potentially the courts.

 

Also, depending on where you live, make sure you keep yourself safe.  Don't let him bully or hurt you.  

Exactly this. If he is old enough to impregnate a woman outside wedlock, he's old enough to face the consequences. 

[mahmood8726]

The boy has to pay for his consequences, for your sake and for his salvation if he doesn't want to burn in hell and for the sake of the child. 

Abortion is haram unless the mothers life is in danger, don't listen to him.