Do these answers contradict one another

[Botak]

Welcome to another episode of "do these answers contradict one another?"

I have three question and answer with my marja that seems to be contradictory or unclear. 

 

I first ask this in the past

 

```

Is chatting with a woman online permissible?

 

 

Salamun `alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

 

In any case, any relation with non-mahram which involves fear of committing a sinful act or leads to a vile consequence is impermissible.

 

With prayers for your success

```

 

So I assume it is permissible

Then recebtly I realized that sunnis and even other shias deal with non mahram friendship really seriously.

So i ask more specific

 

```

Is it permissible to befriend a non mahram if one is sure it wont lead to vile consequence

 

 

Salamun `alaykum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu

 

In general, it is not permissible to communicate with a non-mahram person and joke with her as it leads to vile consequence or is accompanied by fear of committing a sin.

 

With prayers for your success

```

 

Which contrast the first one.

 

There is also another qna i found on my marja book

 

```

Q1321. University students of both sexes meet each other and discuss matters ranging from study to exchanging light-hearted jokes. Of course this is done without any questionable intentions or sexual pleasure. Is it permissible?

A: There is no objection to it provided that female students observe proper ḥijāb, no questionable intention is involved, and one is immune from corrupting practices. Otherwise, it is impermissible.

```

 

So, what to do?

[Abu Hadi]

Salam. Next time, please include links so we can check wording of answers. Wording of question and answer is very important, and especially since it is probably a translation, we need the source language to give accurate advice. 

The problem with using the word 'friend' is that it can have many meanings and variations. Some are halal and some are haram, so it depends. In English, there is even the phrase 'Friends with benefits', meaning this is someone who you are not married to with whom you do zina (adultry or fornication) occasionally. Obviously, 'Friend' in this context is absolutely haram. 

The general meaning of friend, in English, is someone you have a close relationship with and share some intimate thoughts and maybe even feelings with. This kind of friendship can definitely be problematic from a fiqh perspective when it is between non mahram. Alot of the time, but not always, a lady who wants to be 'friends' with you, meaning a close friendship where you share intimate thoughts and feelings, is probably attracted to you physically, i.e. there is a high chance of this. This attraction can very easily lead to a situation which is haram without either of you having the intention of doing haram. 

That is why we, as Musim, have to be very careful in these types of situations that we don't cross the line into haram because it is so easy to do. This is, I think, what the answers are saying. Interaction with non mahram is ok as long as certain conditions are met

1. Lady is in proper hijab

2. no haram intentions are involved, no corrupt practices. This means that there is no intention of doing haram and haram does not actually happen in the interaction. 

3. conversation does not include inappropriate subjects (sexual, intimate, etc). As you know, alot of jokes, in any language, involved sexual references or content. Most humor involves this either in a direct or indirect way. This is why joking is going to be problematic with non mahram unless you are very, very careful about which jokes you tell, i.e. ones that do not involve haram / inappropriate content. This is very hard to do, irl, because again, most jokes have this sort of content. So be careful. 

This is why some marjaa say it is not allowed to have these types of joking, humorous conversations with non mahram because almost all of the time it leads to inappropriate conversations. 

Edited February 9 by Abu Hadi

[Botak]

10 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

Salam. Next time, please include links so we can check wording of answers. Wording of question and answer is very important, and especially since it is probably a translation, we need the source language to give accurate advice. 

I copy paste the wording and only give sone spaces for readability. I cant share link since i ask his  marja office and you cant access those questions and answer without logging to the user account (i think). The last one is from the book, not qna of the marja office

[Ashvazdanghe]

On 2/9/2025 at 3:30 PM, Botak said:

Which contrast the first one.

 

There is also another qna i found on my marja book

Salam you have misunderstood situation which your first question has been about chatting randomly likewise blind dating or etc which most of times people are doing just for pure lust while your second question has been about  a closed circle of people which maybe your intention maybe lustful or not while third question has been about most closed circle of people who know each other for a period of time which their intention is having mutual relationship for having friendly study atmosphere which has least amount of possibility of having  lust which you must be careful about it. 

[Botak]

Really worried about this topic since a girl in my class who is autistic and have no other friend or people to talk to beside me. She is muslim but very irreligious and is probably a closeted atheist so i dont know if ic an continue being "friend" with her

[Ashvazdanghe]

On 2/14/2025 at 5:58 AM, Botak said:

Really worried about this topic since a girl in my class who is autistic and have no other friend or people to talk to beside me. She is muslim but very irreligious and is probably a closeted atheist so i dont know if ic an continue being "friend" with her

Salam yeah you can be friend with her if you think that your friendship with her help her to remain a muslimah and prevents her from becoming atheist.