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In the Name of God بسم الله

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  • Basic Members
Posted

Salam. 

My situation is very dire. My family (mother, father, all aunties and uncles and their sons and daughters), since forever, has been brainwashed by the turkish secular agender. Whether they are muslims or not is up-to-debate, and for your information they can't recite fatihah, they never pray, and they slander practicing Muslims out of ignorance, calling them jahil. Nor do they know the difference between Sunni and Shia. Not only this, but because of how harsh criticism of Islam is in Turkey, they believe that only extremists pray, etc, and all sorts of nonsense.

 

I'm basically forced to shave my beard, and if they ever caught a glimpse of me praying, my mother and father would be in serious trouble. Essentially, being a Muslim would completely destroy all family relations and ruin our lives. This is especially a problem, because every member of my family essentially lives within 10 minutes of each other, and I see more than one relative weekly. 

 

What is the ruling of taqiyyah on this? Would it be classified as Mudarat / Ikhrah? Would it be permissible to avoid prayers - which sounds insane - for the sake of staying a Shia? I'm afraid that this issue may even carry on into marriage - which is even more insane. 

 

My situation is dire brothers, I have an insane love for the Ahlulbayt, I don't want to give up. Also, I will probably have to send this question off to a council, but any other answers would be appreciated.

  • Advanced Member
Posted

Salam alaykum

May Allah ease your pain, dear brother, and grant you patience and elevation in this world and hereafter

I'm sharing the Qur'anic view, upheld by the early Ahl al-Bayt ع as preserved in the later Ahl al-Bayt ع , which is the Zaydi heritage

 

Without a doubt, you have to obey Allah over anybody else, and even in your situation, you can't forgo salat. But you can do it in silence out of view, and you can shorten it out of fear (if the fear is that you'd be harmed)

 

But there is no taqiyya in enjoining your parents to Islam. You have a duty to advise them respectfully and gently, and to suffer their negative reactions (you do not need to extend this da'wa to others). But part of your ihsaan to your parents is ensuring their salvation, which is the worship of Allah

 

Taqiyya is not an excuse to avoid secret da'wa and secret performance of the rites. This is a religion of men and women (the first martyr was a woman) who sacrificed their freedoms and lives to turn kufr into imaan

Shaving a beard in your situation is not a problem. But you must definitely not marry someone who is not a believer in Allah and His scripture. It would be haram and would be self-destructive (for you and your children)

 

And you must prepare yourself to emigrate from a community where your practice of religion is endangered, even if your parents are a part of that community

 

Taqiyya is only permissible in cases when Emigration is not possible, because Allah the Almighty dislikes to see His believer weak and degraded and defeated in the midst of disbelief

This life is short and should be rendered a service to our Lord, and its suffering must be treated as a medal of honour. The full pleasures are in the afterlife. Be a martyr for the truth and bear the suffering with patience and devotion

It is an act of highest worship

 

“O my dear son! Establish prayer, encourage what is good and forbid what is evil, and endure patiently whatever befalls you. Surely this is a resolve to aspire to."

- Sura Luqman

 

 

 

  • Advanced Member
Posted
16 hours ago, iloveahlulbayt313 said:

What is the ruling of taqiyyah on this? Would it be classified as Mudarat / Ikhrah? Would it be permissible to avoid prayers - which sounds insane - for the sake of staying a Shia? I'm afraid that this issue may even carry on into marriage - which is even more insane. 

Salam generally Taqiyyah is for saving life from dangerous situation which surely you can't avoid obligatory prayers which also you must obey & respect your parents until it's not against order of Allah so therefore you must find a solution for performing your obligatory prayers by keeping respect of your parents so therefore shaving your beard is not a problem due to following order of your parents which you can skip Mustahb act of having beard so therefore only perform your obligatory prayers by keeping respect of your parents which you can follow "reconciliatory Taqiyah" .

What is reconciliatory Taqiyah and where is it practiced?
question
What is reconciliatory Taqiyah and where is it practiced? What are the conditions of reconciliatory Taqiyah? One who is supposed to observe Taqiyah and has missed some obligations (e.g. fasting) for the same reason, is it necessary for him to give the qadha of those obligations? Does he have to make up for mandatory acts of worship?
Quote
Concise answer
Reconciliation is the act of making friendly relations; it is the action of making one view or belief compatible with another in order to appease someone and make him surrender to something. This is what also the Arabic word 'mudara' means.[1]
There is a narration transmitted from the Prophet of Islam (S) which makes reference to the same meaning.  The word 'kherad' has two meanings, one is to believe in God, another is to reconcile with people without having to trampling a right.[2]
Therefore, reconciliatory Taqiyah is done when a person intends to reconcile with the other side or when he intends to soften their hearts after he has created a practical harmony with them. This kind of Taqiyah is permissible but not obligatory. [3]

This kind of Taqiyah is permissible as long as it does not cause any harm to others or is not in opposition with the principles of the religion.  Therefore, if it leads to murder or theft or bearing a false testimony, it is not permissible.[4]
As well, if Taqiyah causes an act of worship to be lost or missed, although he has not committed a sin, but its qadha is wajib on him. That is why jurisprudents have said, "He who practices Taqiyah because he is compelled to or he is in an unavoidable situation, it is necessary for him to give the qadha of what he has missed but it is not necessary for him to pay any kaffara.[5] For further information in this regard, kindly refer to

Quote

 

How is it possible to tell the difference between taqiyah on the one hand and telling the truth, hypocrisy and enjoining good and forbidding evil on the other?

https://www.islamquest.net/en/archive/fa12072

 

Quote

İmamlar ((عليه السلام)) neden takiyye ederlerdi?

https://www.islamquest.net/tr/archive/fa2132

 

Quote

Taqiyah of infallible Imams (in Farsi & Arabic)

 

https://www.islamquest.net/fa/archive/fa4099

 

https://www.islamquest.net/en/archive/fa15808

  • Advanced Member
Posted
On 1/23/2025 at 12:57 AM, iloveahlulbayt313 said:

Salam. 

My situation is very dire. My family (mother, father, all aunties and uncles and their sons and daughters), since forever, has been brainwashed by the turkish secular agender. Whether they are muslims or not is up-to-debate, and for your information they can't recite fatihah, they never pray, and they slander practicing Muslims out of ignorance, calling them jahil. Nor do they know the difference between Sunni and Shia. Not only this, but because of how harsh criticism of Islam is in Turkey, they believe that only extremists pray, etc, and all sorts of nonsense.

 

I'm basically forced to shave my beard, and if they ever caught a glimpse of me praying, my mother and father would be in serious trouble. Essentially, being a Muslim would completely destroy all family relations and ruin our lives. This is especially a problem, because every member of my family essentially lives within 10 minutes of each other, and I see more than one relative weekly. 

 

What is the ruling of taqiyyah on this? Would it be classified as Mudarat / Ikhrah? Would it be permissible to avoid prayers - which sounds insane - for the sake of staying a Shia? I'm afraid that this issue may even carry on into marriage - which is even more insane. 

 

My situation is dire brothers, I have an insane love for the Ahlulbayt, I don't want to give up. Also, I will probably have to send this question off to a council, but any other answers would be appreciated.

Walaikom assalam akhi,

May Allah reward you immensely for your faith.

Akhi, is there a reason why you can't pray in the privacy of your home? 

Or if you live with your parents, I understand that would be a struggle. In that case, I would just suggest praying by sitting. I know a lot of people on here are probably going to disagree with that, but at the end of the day, prayer, while very important, is ultimately a means to an end. Iman is in the heart. Put your focus on learning your deen and treating people well (makaarim al-akhlaaq), that's the most important thing. 

At the same time, taqiyyah should be balanced with jihad (jihad al-lisan). If you can, you should try explaining to your parents the beauty of Islam; its morals, its history, its teachings, etc. Explain to them how Islam teaches the importance of seeking knowledge, and that seeking knowledge is an obligation for all Muslims ("طلب العلم فريضة على كل مسلم الا ان الله يحب بغاة العلم"). Explain to them how the "extremism" they're worried about comes from other than Islam; that the true Islam was hijacked and is now followed by only a minority. If you can't manage even explaining to them, no one will blame you, but I would at least try (as I'm sure you probably have). فَإِن تَوَلَّوْا۟ فَإِنَّمَا عَلَيْكَ ٱلْبَلَـٰغُ ٱلْمُبِينُ

And one last thing, although obviously I am not qualified to give advice, but I would say just outright refuse to marry anyone who is going to make it hard to pray in your own house. That's the only thing that would be insane.

Again, I am not qualified, and most people on here aren't scholars, so reaching out to a sheikh would be the best option. But I understand how that could be difficult. You could also send a question to the website of Ayatollah al-Sistani or the website of Ayatollah al-Khamenei (or that of another ayatollah), but their answers will probably be unhelpful, just telling you to "pray if you can".

May Allah bless & guide you and your family.

وَوَصَّيْنَا ٱلْإِنسَـٰنَ بِوَٰلِدَيْهِ حَمَلَتْهُ أُمُّهُۥ وَهْنًا عَلَىٰ وَهْنٍۢ وَفِصَـٰلُهُۥ فِى عَامَيْنِ أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ وَإِن جَـٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌۭ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًۭا ۖ وَٱتَّبِعْ سَبِيلَ مَنْ أَنَابَ إِلَىَّ ۚ ثُمَّ إِلَىَّ مَرْجِعُكُمْ فَأُنَبِّئُكُم بِمَا كُنتُمْ تَعْمَلُونَ

And We have commanded people to ˹honour˺ their parents. Their mothers bore them through hardship upon hardship, and their weaning takes two years. So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return. But if they pressure you to associate with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. Still keep their company in this world courteously, and follow the way of those who turn to Me ˹in devotion˺. Then to Me you will ˹all˺ return, and then I will inform you of what you used to do. (31:14-15)

  • Moderators
Posted

Having a beard is hardly a confirmed sign of religiosity. In Turkey long beards are fashionable anyway, so I doubt that having a beard is going to be a problem for you.

As for praying, you can easily do this privately. You definitely shouldn't abandon prayers and Islamic obligations just because your relatives look down on it. 

  • Advanced Member
Posted
20 hours ago, Abu_Zahra said:

Having a beard is hardly a confirmed sign of religiosity. In Turkey long beards are fashionable anyway, so I doubt that having a beard is going to be a problem for you.

As for praying, you can easily do this privately. You definitely shouldn't abandon prayers and Islamic obligations just because your relatives look down on it. 

Salam alaykum

 

Maybe among some communist nationalist Kurdish communities in Turkey it might be a sign of religiosity 

It may also depend on what OP means by 'beard' (how long?)

 

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