DM'ing a sister on Instagram?

[Guest Hemmingway08]

I'm mid 20s, I went to this one Shia event where I saw this girl who I thought was cute, she saw me there as well I think. 

Scrolling on the event page on instagram and I saw her Instagram tagged. Can I dm her respectfully, introducing myself and asking if she's interested in marriage? If so, and if she's accepting of it, I could get her father's number and ask him for his permission to talk with her daughter, or introduce my father to him? 

I don't know her wali, or any older sisters who know her, otherwise would have gone through them. Nor do I think I'll see her again, or at least not for a while. 

So is this permissible as long as I don't flirt and keep everything straightforward? 

[ireallywannaknow]

That would be permissible in the way you described, involving her father and family right away. 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

She probably noticed you staring at her ....it's fine just salam her before 100 other brothers do the same which they probably are trying to.

I wish you the best but find out if she has daddy issues also as that will cause you problems later on. I'm sure she's a great girl though 

[Abu Hadi]

On 5/28/2024 at 10:54 PM, Guest Hemmingway08 said:

I'm mid 20s, I went to this one Shia event where I saw this girl who I thought was cute, she saw me there as well I think. 

Scrolling on the event page on instagram and I saw her Instagram tagged. Can I dm her respectfully, introducing myself and asking if she's interested in marriage? If so, and if she's accepting of it, I could get her father's number and ask him for his permission to talk with her daughter, or introduce my father to him? 

I don't know her wali, or any older sisters who know her, otherwise would have gone through them. Nor do I think I'll see her again, or at least not for a while. 

So is this permissible as long as I don't flirt and keep everything straightforward? 

I agree to get her father and family involved right away but also don't pretend to them that you're 100% committed to marriage to her at this point. You don't know anything about her except that 'she's cute'. That isn't really much. There are alot of girls who are cute who, if you married them, would make your life a living hell. You need to make sure that the inside matches the outside. Tell her family that you want to get to know her. You would like to talk to her and interact with her in a respectful way with the goal being marriage if, after getting to know each other, you and her both agree that this is the way forward for the relationship. In other words, don't make him think like you want to marry his daughter tomorrow, as if you already know her. 

[Future_Banker_Insha Allah]

On 5/29/2024 at 3:54 AM, Guest Hemmingway08 said:

I'm mid 20s, I went to this one Shia event where I saw this girl who I thought was cute, she saw me there as well I think. 

Scrolling on the event page on instagram and I saw her Instagram tagged. Can I dm her respectfully, introducing myself and asking if she's interested in marriage? If so, and if she's accepting of it, I could get her father's number and ask him for his permission to talk with her daughter, or introduce my father to him? 

I don't know her wali, or any older sisters who know her, otherwise would have gone through them. Nor do I think I'll see her again, or at least not for a while. 

So is this permissible as long as I don't flirt and keep everything straightforward? 

seems fine to me imo ? b careful how u proceed further tho

[SO SOLID SHIA]

14 hours ago, Future_Banker_Insha Allah said:

seems fine to me imo ? b careful how u proceed further tho

How would you proceed tho Akhi? Teach us the ways 

[Guest Hemmingway08]

On 6/2/2024 at 9:47 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

She probably noticed you staring at her ....it's fine just salam her before 100 other brothers do the same which they probably are trying to.

I wish you the best but find out if she has daddy issues also as that will cause you problems later on. I'm sure she's a great girl though 

If anyone cares for an update, just got ignored lol. Well I figured, she probably does have 100s of dudes in her dm's.Thanks anyways brodas. 

[Abu Hadi]

I was about to say that. If she's active on Insta, posting about herself and her pictures, and not about Islam, political causes, etc, then she's probably trolling for male attention, which is not something you would want to deal with, as far as a wife. I am not saying she is a bad person, but that would kind of be a red flag for me. So this might have been for the best. Salam. 

[notme]

I was gonna say, it's not haram but if she's a normal human female, she's going to not only ignore you, but also assume you're either desperate or a weirdo. Do you have any idea what women deal with on social media? Men are weird. You'd have gotten better results if you'd looked for an in-person way to ask if she would be interested in getting to know you. 

But now you know that.  Hopefully others will learn from your mistake.  

[Laayla]

The problem is da brothas can no longer tell the difference between AI pics and real people pics.

The pictures are digitally touched, airbrushed, and filtered.

Don't trust what you are seeing online.

 

[Quran313]

I don't see any problem.