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Girl Halal Marrying Age

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In this day an age, it’s halal for a An adult male, let’s say 23 years, to marry and have intercourse with a 10 year old girl who got her period. How would we go on about explaining that? 

 

I understand that people used to mature differently back then , but still, a skeleton of a 10 year old child from Rome would be deemed as a child. Documentations of little girls from 9-12 would be described playing with their dolls, (IK 12 was the Roman and Jewish age of maturity for girls as well) It’s hard for their body to take the sexual / labor toll of such acts. So girls back then even at 9 weren’t MATURE, they began maturing. We know how long it takes to fully grow the breasts and etc…Peasants usually married later on in their late teenage years and early twenties, while nobles married their daughters off early. 

 

Like, a 3rd grader/ 4th grader can islamically marry a 23 year old and there is no issue in that: but we know that physically OR mentally they’re not as developed. How do we explain it? 

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3 hours ago, Zahraa112 said:

In this day an age, it’s halal for a An adult male, let’s say 23 years, to marry and have intercourse with a 10 year old girl who got her period. How would we go on about explaining that? 

Salam. No, let's not say 23 year old man. In the time of the Prophet SA a 9 or 10 year old girl would marry a 12 - 15 year old boy. 

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Posted (edited)

@Zahraa112, you have to stay at Speaker's Corner forever to show them that you're not scared...I realize Shamsi is an annoying and irritating individual...I likewise recognize that he's a willing mouthpiece for the Saudi monarchy...but listen to him respond to Bob The Builder's argument against Muhammad's marriage to Aisha...he did a decent job defending his position...10 minutes 17 seconds

 

 

Edited by Eddie Mecca
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thanks, your responses make sense. the only thing i come back to is the physical aspect. even around more than 500 years ago, the inca child mummies which contained a 13 year old girl revealed skeletal aspects. At that age she was not as developed as an older girl and could face difficulty, so how can a 9-10 year old girl have intercourse? same for many roman skeletons of 12 year old girls found buried with their dolls. I know at 13, Western people are engaging in sexual relationships but its not right, and many confess to traumatic stories regarding it. when they become mentally mature as they grow up, it isn't a fond memory for them. my grandma was 9 when they married her off to her 30 year old cousin (they told her it was a game), and the physical aspect of marriage was difficult. she couldn't carry a full term pregnancy until she was 16.

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On 5/30/2024 at 8:27 PM, Zahraa112 said:

thanks, your responses make sense. the only thing i come back to is the physical aspect. even around more than 500 years ago, the inca child mummies which contained a 13 year old girl revealed skeletal aspects. At that age she was not as developed as an older girl and could face difficulty, so how can a 9-10 year old girl have intercourse? same for many roman skeletons of 12 year old girls found buried with their dolls. I know at 13, Western people are engaging in sexual relationships but its not right, and many confess to traumatic stories regarding it. when they become mentally mature as they grow up, it isn't a fond memory for them. my grandma was 9 when they married her off to her 30 year old cousin (they told her it was a game), and the physical aspect of marriage was difficult. she couldn't carry a full term pregnancy until she was 16.

The marriage age in Islam is very flexible for two main reasons

1. The halal of Muhammad(p.b.u.h) is halal until The Day of Judgement. There will be no further changes in Sharia so the Sharia that we have must be flexible and accommodate all situations. There might be some circumstance at some point in time where a nine or ten year old girl wants to be married and she has both the physical maturity and psychological and social maturity and knowledge (rushd) to have a marriage relationship. 

Like I said before, this is very rare and a marriage like this would be inappropriate in 99.9999% of the cases because the girl, although she may be physically mature (i.e. she got her period, which is considered physically according to hukm sharia for marriage) she is not 'rushd' and she does not give her consent to the marriage, mostly because she does not understand and comprehend what her duties are as a wife. She might be able to recite a list of them, like a parrot does, but she does not have the understanding of what marriage is. Like i said, all these marriages that I am familiar with are forced marriages where the parents and not the girl benefit, which is an invalid marriage according to Sharia. Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) did not marry a nine year old. 

2. I think a second reason is to show that age is not the most important or one of the most important things when it comes to marriage. At this point in history, people are completely obsessed with age to the point where when people post on social media alot of the time they list their age before their name, lol. I have seen many posts where a 20 year old girl is asking whether it is appropriate for her to be together with a 23 year old. In Islam, age is a factor but not one of the most important factors for a happy marriage. an 18 year old girl can be happily married to a 50 year old man and vice versa (so long as he doesn't want kids). There is no correlation, even scientifically between closeness in age and having a happy marriage, so long as the husband and the wife are compatible in other ways and go into the marriage of their own free will. Islam is very flexible as far as age in marriage and this is to ensure that otherwise happy marriages don't 'not happen' because people are so obsessed with age difference. 

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On 5/16/2024 at 3:41 PM, Abu Hadi said:

Although a pre teen girl getting married is technically halal, it is very, very seldom done anymore for reasons which should be obvious. I have personally never met a nine year old muslima who even fully understood what her responsibilities were as a wife or who even wanted to be married. It exists, but very, very rare. 

Very rare indeed. One day I met a woman who told me that her mother had married at 9 years old and she was born when her mom was 10 years old. Obviously that is very unusual (not common) and her telling me about it showed that it weighed heavily on her mind. I asked how she felt about her mother marrying so young and having her at 10 years old. She said she and her mom were so close in age that she felt that they were sisters and they grew up together.  

I asked her how old she was when her mom and dad let her get married. She said at 18 years old, after her high school graduation. 

Later she said she and her husband were excited to have a baby and looking forward to it. I asked her if she had a daughter would she allow her to marry at 9 or at 18? She said no, she should be 25 years old, after she graduates from university. :itsok:

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I think at least Muslims need to understand that the whole 'nine year old wife' thing and the accusation (false accusation according to our scholars) that Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) married a nine year old girl is nothing but an attempt to juxtapose modern Western social norms onto Islam in order to slander the religion. If the public in general doesn't understand this, at least Muslims should. 

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On 5/16/2024 at 7:01 PM, Zahraa112 said:

In this day an age, it’s halal for a An adult male, let’s say 23 years, to marry and have intercourse with a 10 year old girl who got her period. How would we go on about explaining that? 

 

I understand that people used to mature differently back then , but still, a skeleton of a 10 year old child from Rome would be deemed as a child. Documentations of little girls from 9-12 would be described playing with their dolls, (IK 12 was the Roman and Jewish age of maturity for girls as well) It’s hard for their body to take the sexual / labor toll of such acts. So girls back then even at 9 weren’t MATURE, they began maturing. We know how long it takes to fully grow the breasts and etc…Peasants usually married later on in their late teenage years and early twenties, while nobles married their daughters off early. 

 

Like, a 3rd grader/ 4th grader can islamically marry a 23 year old and there is no issue in that: but we know that physically OR mentally they’re not as developed. How do we explain it? 

as far as i understood as well is that girls used to get their periods at 16+ and then they started counting women their age or something.
today, women get their period very early some even at 9. there was an whole study done and they explained it. if you ask me why this is, it is probably because of all those micro-plastics and chemicals and processed foods etc

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