What do women want...?

[Meedy]

I think there guys like and even elder people struggles to understand what women want these days (I'm talking about guys trying to find wife). 

Help me understand what do you want? And what are you bringing into the relationship? 

Even online dating, they either dont respond, they respond, start talking then they deactivate their accounts...

 

[123xo]

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

[Meedy]

4 hours ago, 123xo said:

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

Is there any guys on this site has managed to achieved all what she described. 

Taller, Smells Good, Nice teeth, stable job and religious, romantic, healthy looking <--- All these are understandable.

6 pack aye? interesting does it that increases the chances of him have more intimacy time  and more often with her?  

love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. -he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too <--- Not reasonable expectation

I don't know whether you are joking or not. It would not surprised me if that's what they want. 

My issue is that they are not willing to give the guy a chance at least to talk for a bit, get to know each a bit then decide whether they are suitable or not.

The guys wants at least a chance to talk even if its mean he get rejected, it gives him more experience on what to say/not say, whether he needs to work on himself/reflect on his expectation... Bloody at least give the guy a chance for talk, its not very hard.

May God Mercy on us single guys  

[Abu Hadi]

18 hours ago, Meedy said:

I think there guys like and even elder people struggles to understand what women want these days (I'm talking about guys trying to find wife). 

Help me understand what do you want? And what are you bringing into the relationship? 

Even online dating, they either dont respond, they respond, start talking then they deactivate their accounts...

 

When you figure it out, let me know. Loool. 

[Abu Hadi]

9 hours ago, Meedy said:

Is there any guys on this site has managed to achieved all what she described. 

Taller, Smells Good, Nice teeth, stable job and religious, romantic, healthy looking <--- All these are understandable.

6 pack aye? interesting does it that increases the chances of him have more intimacy time  and more often with her?  

love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. -he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too <--- Not reasonable expectation

I don't know whether you are joking or not. It would not surprised me if that's what they want. 

My issue is that they are not willing to give the guy a chance at least to talk for a bit, get to know each a bit then decide whether they are suitable or not.

The guys wants at least a chance to talk even if its mean he get rejected, it gives him more experience on what to say/not say, whether he needs to work on himself/reflect on his expectation... Bloody at least give the guy a chance for talk, its not very hard.

May God Mercy on us single guys  

To be serious, it depends on that actual women. It is like asking the question, 'What do guys want ? ' Yes there are a few things that all or almost all guys want (you already know what that is). Besides that, it depends on the guy. Same with women. 

The advice of Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) and this applies to both men and women who are looking, is look for a spouse with Iman and Aklaq. The better the Iman and Aklaq are, the better quality of your spouse and the happier your life will be. Also, the less of these your spouse has the lesser the quality and the worse your life will be and if this falls below a certain level your marriage will be a disaster ending in divorce or one (or more) illegal (haram) acts. 

You can tell if a lady has Iman based on her behaviour with regards to her duties to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). These are in no particular order of importance but the more of these she has the higher her level of Iman. Does she observe outward and inward hijab, i.e. haya ?  Does she pray,fast, give zakat / sadaqa ?  Does she want to go to Hajj / Umrah / Ziyarat. Is she kind to her parents and siblings ? Does she avoid the haram (alcohol, drugs, stealing, lying, backbiting, etc). You should ask what women want but also ask what you want and try to find that. The aklaq is how she behaves with other people, i.e. non mahram. If she works, how are her relationships with her coworkers. Does she generally treat people with respect and refrains from judging / backbiting them. Is she racist, etc. 

Im just going to be real here, if you want a women with good Iman and Aklaq you will have to compromise on other things, like looks, family / lineage, maybe even culture / nationality. Find a lady with the highest level of Iman and Taqwa that you can find and marry her. This goes the same for the sisters. Find a guy with the highest level of Iman and Aklaq you can and marry him. You might have to compromise on the height, wealth / status level, nationality, type of vehicle he drives, etc. This is the same advice I have given since I have been on SC (since 2006, lol). Everyone who has taken my advice, that I know of, has had a happy life and marriage. So if that's what you want, then that's how you do it. Again, first figure out what you want and go after that. 

Tbh, A women with a long list of demands, like the above post, would be a red flag for me. There are three possibilities with this. First, these are not her demands, but stuff people told her and stuff she read on social media. If a guy approaches her, and has at least some of those things, she will marry him. Second is the lady who wants these things but she is willing to compromise, so this is no problem and she will be married shortly. The third is a lady who actually wants all of these things and is not willing to compromise. We have a word for those ladies, the word is spinster, i.e. she will never get married because a guy with all those criteria probably doesn't exist (except in her imagination or someone pretending to be that on social media) and if he does he is already married. 

[123xo]

@Abu Hadi Actually they do exist, thanks.

[EiE]

16 hours ago, 123xo said:

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

As a man who fulfills pretty much all the conditions above, except the chunky big trunk, cuse it looks silly.
 

I can asure you without being rude or offensive against you, most of us, at least the smart ones, wouldnt consider your ”type” for permanent marriage, for mutah some would do. Why? In short, because we are realists. because your posts mirror that of a red flag, as @Abu Hadi said.

there are criteria men have too for. Permanent marriage. Beuty, modesty, chastity, social intelligence, wife material, motherhood etc. + wajibas. Some of these will fade away, others will stay and grow or become worse.  
 

 

Also, I am not saying you said something wrong, just spitting some facts.

Again not every person is going to be alike. 

Edited May 2 by EiE

[ireallywannaknow]

It's difficult to know exactly what one is looking for for marriage until one has been married for some time. Then things become clearer and you know what's really important. Which is why seeking the wisdom and advice of the elderly people in your life in regards to marriage is a very wise thing to do. Especially those that love and care about you. 

Basically, let your parents or someone you trust recommend someone for you and if you like them on a basic level then marry them. 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

I'm not entirely sure what they want. I wouldn't pander to their fantasy needs either. The moment you enter their world, you've lost...see now you're thinking about buying some kind of truck.

Play your ps5, be happy ..Inshallah soon the AI hijjabi bots will be released and you'll never have to care about what they want 

 

[Qa'im]

12 minutes ago, SO SOLID SHIA said:

I'm not entirely sure what they want. I wouldn't pander to their fantasy needs either. The moment you enter their world, you've lost...see now you're thinking about buying some kind of truck.

Play your ps5, be happy ..Inshallah soon the AI hijjabi bots will be released and you'll never have to care about what they want 

 

Reminded me of this scene from Mad Men:

 

[123xo]

3 hours ago, EiE said:

As a man who fulfills pretty much all the conditions above, except the chunky big trunk, cuse it looks silly.
 

I can asure you without being rude or offensive against you, most of us, at least the smart ones, wouldnt consider your ”type” for permanent marriage, for mutah some would do. Why? In short, because we are realists. because your posts mirror that of a red flag, as @Abu Hadi said.

there are criteria men have too for. Permanent marriage. Beuty, modesty, chastity, social intelligence, wife material, motherhood etc. + wajibas. Some of these will fade away, others will stay and grow or become worse.  
 

 

Also, I am not saying you said something wrong, just spitting some facts.

Again not every person is going to be alike. 

Oh big chunky trucks look silly? Ok princess keep driving your Suzuki swift xox

I was married to one, now getting to know another. None of them suggested Mutah only proper marriage. So keep your Mutah fantasies to yourself. I'm only a walking red flag to men that don't meet my standards.

Edited May 3 by 123xo

[Azadeh307]

In addition to iman and akhlaq (mentioned above), a couple of things that may make a man stand out are a value for holistic health, passion around a hobby, good relationships with his family members, and bonus would be an artistic streak. 

Edited May 3 by Azadeh307

[realizm]

On 5/2/2024 at 8:27 AM, 123xo said:

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

Lebanese women post-Facebook-era be like :

 

Edit : sister I thought you were in a just kidding mood. Hence my j/k post. If those are your actual standards, fine.

I actually think that if you find that guy, you will indeed have a very happy life because your interests are a bit manly, so you + the man = perfect fit. 

Edited May 3 by realizm

[realizm]

11 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

You can tell if a lady has Iman based on her behaviour with regards to her duties to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). These are in no particular order of importance but the more of these she has the higher her level of Iman. Does she observe outward and inward hijab, i.e. haya ?  Does she pray,fast, give zakat / sadaqa ?  Does she want to go to Hajj / Umrah / Ziyarat. Is she kind to her parents and siblings ? Does she avoid the haram (alcohol, drugs, stealing, lying, backbiting, etc). You should ask what women want but also ask what you want and try to find that. The aklaq is how she behaves with other people, i.e. non mahram. If she works, how are her relationships with her coworkers. Does she generally treat people with respect and refrains from judging / backbiting them. Is she racist, etc. 

Good luck with knowing all these beforehand 

11 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

you will have to compromise

Everyday allday. Everytime anytime. Any topic. Any situation.

[foxmccloud]

I think, women want you to be yourself and not change yourself for them and of course treat them good (for some people this is hard). and if she doesn't like you for who you are, then there is no problem you guys weren't meant for each other. and as stated by other users, six-pack and deodorant does help 

[Diaz]

On 5/3/2024 at 3:22 AM, realizm said:

Lebanese women post-Facebook-era be like :

 

Edit : sister I thought you were in a just kidding mood. Hence my j/k post. If those are your actual standards, fine.

I actually think that if you find that guy, you will indeed have a very happy life because your interests are a bit manly, so you + the man = perfect fit. 

Salam brother, Sister 123xo is serious, and I’m not gonna lie, there are women who are like her specially in Middle East. Women are always picky when it comes to choosing their future husbands and tbh I don’t see any issue with that. Some women marry men with money, some others marry men with power. Each women are different. 

[123xo]

On 5/3/2024 at 4:48 AM, Diaz said:

Salam brother, Sister 123xo is serious, and I’m not gonna lie, there are women who are like her specially in Middle East. Women are always picky when it comes to choosing their future husbands and tbh I don’t see any issue with that. Some women marry men with money, some others marry men with power. Each women are different. 

Sucha classy polite man, Allah yehmeek brother. Please teach them some class and chivalry when conversing with a lady. 

xo

[123xo]

1 hour ago, realizm said:

Lebanese women post-Facebook-era be like :

 

Edit : sister I thought you were in a just kidding mood. Hence my j/k post. If those are your actual standards, fine.

I actually think that if you find that guy, you will indeed have a very happy life because your interests are a bit manly, so you + the man = perfect fit. 

All good, i didn't see your OG post.

Yes indeed i like manly men, i feel like an absolute queen next to a real man, and that's what most women look for in a partner.

xo

[SO SOLID SHIA]

^ salam alaykum @123xo

If you weren't taken, I would have been discussing Quran tafseer with you in the Dm's 

[notme]

On 5/1/2024 at 10:13 PM, Meedy said:

Help me understand what do you want? And what are you bringing into the relationship? 

Respect. Stability. Maturity Companionship. 

Your spouse should be your friend before anything else, or the relationship will severely struggle when hard times come - and hard times will come to all of us.  

[2Timeless]

I actually don't know what I want, so good luck figuring out what womankind wants. Took me over a month and my entire bank account trying to find a dress for a random wedding event. 

I'm inclined to agree with @notme. Afterall, all we want is happiness 

Just be yourself, but being yourself is even better when you're kind, funny, confident (not arrogant), caring, smart/can hold a conversation possibly a lil debate or some deep talks. Chivalry is also lost nowadays so you get brownie points for that.

Looks aren't a huge problem, beauty is in the eye of the beholder and different people have different tastes. Not every woman wants a 6 pack boxer. But obv just take care of your appearance etc. 

Edited May 3 by 2Timeless

[EiE]

10 hours ago, 123xo said:

Oh big chunky trucks look silly? Ok princess keep driving your Suzuki swift xox

 

you scream ”i want attention”, which can be read as you are insecure. As for men with big trucks, its funny, because amongst men theres a running joke that men who buy ”big” trucks are doing so, to compensate for something else that aint as big… so they can feel more manly. 
 

10 hours ago, 123xo said:

was married to one, now getting to know another. None of them suggested Mutah only proper marriage. So keep your Mutah fantasies to yourself. I'm only a walking red flag to men that don't meet my standards.

Without getting into personal details, You just proved my point. 

[Meedy]

I think we all have different views and expectations. 

I'm sure there has plenty of discussion about this topics.

I'm using Muzz dating app. One girl i started talking... then next day her account is deactivated. Another girl, takes her days to reply then deactivate her account.. but why? I don't understand, she could at least have the decency say I'm so not interested rather than just deactivate the accounts. Some people are no longer active on their accounts.

This is what bothers me, why dont some women give the guy a chance for talk. At least for talk bit, that's all.

Anyways 

Dear Moderators, feel free to closed this topic if you see conflicts happening in here

[foxmccloud]

1 hour ago, Meedy said:

I think we all have different views and expectations. 

I'm sure there has plenty of discussion about this topics.

I'm using Muzz dating app. One girl i started talking... then next day her account is deactivated. Another girl, takes her days to reply then deactivate her account.. but why? I don't understand, she could at least have the decency say I'm so not interested rather than just deactivate the accounts. Some people are no longer active on their accounts.

This is what bothers me, why dont some women give the guy a chance for talk. At least for talk bit, that's all.

Anyways 

Dear Moderators, feel free to closed this topic if you see conflicts happening in here

 

they suffer from attention deficit. atleast that's what happens on Tinder and other dating apps. men and women go there for validation and attention (and other haram things).

[123xo]

1 hour ago, EiE said:

you scream ”i want attention”, which can be read as you are insecure. As for men with big trucks, its funny, because amongst men theres a running joke that men who buy ”big” trucks are doing so, to compensate for something else that aint as big… so they can feel more manly. 
 

Without getting into personal details, You just proved my point. 

Clearly i've got all of your attention, literally comments on everything i say then sends me a private message saying he's apologising, Sahhh cute. You're trying so hard Mr. Biggie smallz.
 

xo

[EiE]

28 minutes ago, 123xo said:

Clearly i've got all of your attention, literally comments on everything i say then sends me a private message saying he's apologising, Sahhh cute. You're trying so hard Mr. Biggie smallz.
 

xo

lol….

you’re clearly not the brightest. I apologized few days ago in pm, asking you to delete your weird video (directed at me) you uploaded in this public forum.

 

On 4/28/2024 at 12:01 AM, EiE said:

salam, I apologize.

but you should remove your video. it's kinda weird tbh.

Edited May 3 by EiE

[EiE]

Your response: 

On 4/28/2024 at 5:35 AM, 123xo said:

Go apologise in public 

my video is weird and you talking crap isn't ? Lol

[123xo]

1 minute ago, EiE said:

lol….

you’r clearly not the brightest. I apologized few days ago in pm, asking you to delete your weird video you uploaded in this public forum.

Ok so why do you keep commenting on everything i say if you apologised "few days ago?" Like there's 10 other people that commented on here, go talk to them, or is it only me you see Please stop trying my lil toe nail is probably too much for you. Move on.

[2Timeless]

1 hour ago, Meedy said:

I'm using Muzz dating app. One girl i started talking... then next day her account is deactivated. Another girl, takes her days to reply then deactivate her account.. but why? I don't understand, she could at least have the decency say I'm so not interested rather than just deactivate the accounts. Some people are no longer active on their accounts.

I wouldn't take it personally. Maybe you just didn't click. Also maybe they deactivated for a different reason, sounds like these dating apps have a lot of weird people so maybe they just deactivated because guys kept bothering them or something? 

Did you feel like you had chemistry/could get on with either of these girls? 

[Diaz]

5 hours ago, Meedy said:

I'm using Muzz dating app. One girl i started talking... then next day her account is deactivated. Another girl, takes her days to reply then deactivate her account.. but why? I don't understand, she could at least have the decency say I'm so not interested rather than just deactivate the accounts. Some people are no longer active on their accounts.

They might be some guys pretending to be girls, so be careful and don’t use any applications. 

[Ahmad8888]

I don't know about women since I'm not one myself, but usually Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) should be n#1 priority as he would bring stability in almost every situation. The problem with today is so many people are trying to have their fantasies that have been sold to them since childhood in this modern day and age.

You're not always going to be happy in marriage, as a matter of fact you will argue and sometimes it probably will get heated, so beleif in Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and being rational about their expectations should be the 2 biggest things to consider for both genders. 

Having a lack of faith in Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and unrealistic expectations is a huge problem. Your spouse is most defenetly going to be lacking somewhere, they're not muhammad(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) nor Fatima(عليه السلام).

Edited May 3 by Ahmad8888

[EiE]

Women don't know what they want.

Women expect men to tell them what they (women) want. Remember there's a reason females have guardians.

So know what you want.

 

As others have pointed out, it is important to prioritize hygiene, grooming, physical fitness, independence, good manners, and other similar qualities. While these factors are not necessary for all women out there, it can greatly improve your chances of success.

Also, many people overlook the importance of building connections and networking. By engaging in conversations with many women and getting to know them, you increase your visibility and likelihood of forming a meaningful connection. Like everything else in life.

Also, it is crucial that any personal growth or changes you do, is not solely driven by the desire to attract women. That mindset is weak and not long-lasting and when you get women, you will stop doing those progressive steps. Instead, focus on self-improvement for your own well-being, for the sake of your family, and for your spiritual beliefs. for example dont hit the gym to attract women, do it for a bigger purpose, for example imam Mahdi won't have couch potatoes as his generals, right? You get my point.

havn't tried online muslim dating, but it doesn't give me good vibes tbh. For those who have chosen to deactivate their account, it is possible that their curiosity hit and they simply wanted to explore what the platform had to offer.

 

[Abu Hadi]

22 hours ago, 123xo said:

@Abu Hadi Actually they do exist, thanks.

I know. Here's my good friend Sayyid Shakir, if you're interested. 

[Ahmad8888]

49 minutes ago, EiE said:

Women don't know what they want.

Women expect men to tell them what they (women) want. Remember there's a reason females have guardians.

So know what you want.

 

As others have pointed out, it is important to prioritize hygiene, grooming, physical fitness, independence, good manners, and other similar qualities. While these factors are not necessary for all women out there, it can greatly improve your chances of success.

Also, many people overlook the importance of building connections and networking. By engaging in conversations with many women and getting to know them, you increase your visibility and likelihood of forming a meaningful connection. Like everything else in life.

Also, it is crucial that any personal growth or changes you do, is not solely driven by the desire to attract women. That mindset is weak and not long-lasting and when you get women, you will stop doing those progressive steps. Instead, focus on self-improvement for your own well-being, for the sake of your family, and for your spiritual beliefs. for example dont hit the gym to attract women, do it for a bigger purpose, for example imam Mahdi won't have couch potatoes as his generals, right? You get my point.

havn't tried online muslim dating, but it doesn't give me good vibes tbh. For those who have chosen to deactivate their account, it is possible that their curiosity hit and they simply wanted to explore what the platform had to offer.

 

To a significant extent, yes women expect men to lead them, hence why Muhammad(صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) recommended traditional gender roles to immam Ali(عليه السلام), however women defenetly have some wants and they should not be ignored, but as a leading figure you should act as a leader, it's why men have more responsibilities than women in islam, more power comes with more responsibility, meaning if you mess up the consequences will be far more severe, so don't take this lightly. 

 

As far as the rest of the comment, thats what I pointed out too, chasing women is foolish, you should have Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) as priority n#1. By doing that you will realise that Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) orders you not to be lazy. 

[Shian e Ali]

Food, entertainment, companionship.