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What do women want...?

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On 5/2/2024 at 12:27 AM, 123xo said:

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

You basically described a white American man lol

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, Ali_ahmad_ said:

Both are Chevy lol General Motors 

Exactly-the only differences that I know of are in the exterior and interior trim. Otherwise if the two vehicles are the same year, all the parts, as far as I know, are interchangeable.

If I remember correctly, originally GMC was the luxury version of the Chevy. I can't say I noticed a difference as far as luxury is concerned. All the things I had on my Silverado I also have on my GMC. Maybe things were different back in the old days. And it's just my my opinion only, but any trucks made after around 2004 are just big oversized pieces of plastic junk. I would never buy a truck newer than 2004..but thats just me.

I had a 99 Chevy Silverado king cab 4x4 1500 with the Z71 tow package. Awesome truck. Accidentally wrecked it on a rainy day. Sad, cuz originally it belonged to my fiance that passed away:( 

Since then, I got a 95 GMC Sierra 5.7 liter. It's a very good and dependable truck.. 

Before I converted to islam, I worked in landscaping, construction and demolition, and was a groundsman for a few different tree companies, so I needed a truck. Besides that, living on my parents farm requires having a pickup truck... also grew up around cars and learning how to work on them from when I was a little kid. I used to love going to the junkyards to pull parts off vehicles. I would still do that if I could, but it's not really  an "appropriate environment" for me to be as a married muslim woman.

Edited by PureExistence1
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On 5/5/2024 at 12:41 AM, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam , off topic just for fun

bruce lee kicks chuck norris Blank Template - Imgflip  :accident:  Bruce Lee kicking Chuck Norris in the head. | Bruce lee photos, Bruce ... :brucelee: :accident:Bruce Lee Chuck Norris, Way Of The Dragon, Bruce Lee Martial Arts ...:brucelee:

Oh yea, his famous on screen fight with bruce lee! Brutal! Gets killed in the end..i heard this movies been popular in iran since it came out. Husband remembers watching it there when he was still a kid..

Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris were both good friends in real life.

Thanks for sharing!

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3 minutes ago, PureExistence1 said:

Oh yea, his famous on screen fight with bruce lee! Brutal! Gets killed in the end..i heard this movies been popular in iran since it came out. Husband remembers watching it there when he was still a kid..

Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris were both good friends in real life.

Thanks for sharing!

We don't call him Bruce Lee...we call him Boorooz Ali!

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39 minutes ago, PureExistence1 said:

Exactly-the only differences that I know of are in the exterior and interior trim. Otherwise if the two vehicles are the same year, all the parts, as far as I know, are interchangeable.

If I remember correctly, originally GMC was the luxury version of the Chevy. I can't say I noticed a difference as far as luxury is concerned. All the things I had on my Silverado I also have on my GMC. Maybe things were different back in the old days. And it's just my my opinion only, but any trucks made after around 2004 are just big oversized pieces of plastic junk. I would never buy a truck newer than 2004..but thats just me.

I had a 99 Chevy Silverado king cab 4x4 1500 with the Z71 tow package. Awesome truck. Accidentally wrecked it on a rainy day. Sad, cuz originally it belonged to my fiance that passed away:( 

Since then, I got a 95 GMC Sierra 5.7 liter. It's a very good and dependable truck.. 

Before I converted to islam, I worked in landscaping, construction and demolition, and was a groundsman for a few different tree companies, so I needed a truck. Besides that, living on my parents farm requires having a pickup truck... also grew up around cars and learning how to work on them from when I was a little kid. I used to love going to the junkyards to pull parts off vehicles. I would still do that if I could, but it's not really  an "appropriate environment" for me to be as a married muslim woman.

I’m not an American but I’m really into American muscle cars and trucks haha they’re so cool.. Alhamdulillah I’m getting a hellcat soon lol. 

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8 hours ago, Muhammed Ali said:

Do you seek to modify yourself to please those that have flawed characteristics?

 

I just want the chance to talk that's all.

I think some of the women including those East and in the West only want men who are Doctors, Lawyers etc (high class jobs). it makes men like me who does not fall in those category of jobs feel like.. it makes me feel like I am loser or not worthy human being.

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8 hours ago, Meedy said:

I think some of the women including those East and in the West only want men who are Doctors, Lawyers etc (high class jobs). it makes men like me who does not fall in those category of jobs feel like.. it makes me feel like I am loser or not worthy human being.

Some but not all, don't give up brother, you might be looking at the wrong place. 

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9 hours ago, Meedy said:

I just want the chance to talk that's all.

I think some of the women including those East and in the West only want men who are Doctors, Lawyers etc (high class jobs). it makes men like me who does not fall in those category of jobs feel like.. it makes me feel like I am loser or not worthy human being.

If you think about it logically, 99% of muslim men are not doctors or lawyers. A large number of them are married to women that they love and they have a happy married life despite not being in this group. So like other have said, don't give up. This is just a test from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Have Sabr and I wish I had something more practical I could do to help you. I will do dua for you, I.A.. From what I have seen from your posts, you seem like you would make a good husband. 

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On 5/10/2024 at 7:26 AM, Meedy said:

I think some of the women including those East and in the West only want men who are Doctors, Lawyers etc (high class jobs).

I'm an old married woman, but I don't think this is true of younger women either. Sure, some women want to marry doctors or lawyers. Most women just want to marry a good man who will take care of them and be taken care of by them, in mutual love and respect. Perhaps you're looking for your life-partner in the wrong places.  

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28 minutes ago, notme said:

Perhaps you're looking for your life-partner in the wrong places. 

This, I’m sure brother meedy is looking somewhere wrong. 

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Posted (edited)

I think because of the rejections, it probably impacted my thoughts of thinking. As we all know, its just test and trials (controlling our desires, our patience being tested etc)  and God knows what's best for us.

Does any sister believe that the girls expectations these days are reasonable or not considering what is happening to the world?

 

Edited by Meedy
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4 hours ago, Meedy said:

I think because of the rejections, it probably impacted my thoughts of thinking. As we all know, its just test and trials (controlling our desires, our patience being tested etc)  and God knows what's best for us.

Does any sister believe that the girls expectations these days are reasonable or not considering what is happening to the world?

 

I think these expectations are most common in parents of girls (and so this is transferred to the girl herself) who grew up either in or around situations of extreme poverty, like what exists in some parts of India / Pakistan, some parts of the ME, and some parts of Africa. In those areas, if a man makes a wrong decision about job career, doesn't do the best in school, or any number of factors outside his control happens, many times the family will be thrown into extreme poverty and will not even be able to afford enough food for their children or give them an education and the family will be forced to make extremely difficult choices. This extreme poverty is cause by, usually, US / European sponsored kleptocracies who do this deliberately to the people in order to 'control them' and to line their own pockets. Their attitude toward marriage is a reaction to living / growing up in this environment. 

These situations exits in other parts of the Muslim world but are not as extreme. For the Muslims who live in the US / Europe / Australia / Canada (the majority on this site since it is an English site) this type of thinking / attitude is not really relevant. In this area, no matter what type of job or degree the man has, the kids won't be deprived of food, unless this is done on purpose in some form of extreme abuse. There are types of govt assistance that will cover this even if the man makes no money at all. Education thru 12th grade is free, so the kids will not go without education again, unless the parents choose to keep their children from attending school. Although the chance of becoming homeless is getting greater due to different factors occuring in the West recently, still the chance of the family becoming homeless even if the man makes no money is not very great. Also medical care is available for free if income is below a certain level. 

So when they say these countries are 'advanced', that is what people are talking about. They are advanced in the sense that most people in those countries, even poor people, don't have to worry about their children starving or not being educated or dying of a preventable disease. In other areas these countries are extremely backward and regressive so when they say they are 'advanced' in general that is not true. They are only advanced in certain specific ways. 

If a lady lives in one of these countries, or even most parts of the world, and is looking for a husband, her family should not be so concerned that her potential husband is not in the top 5% of income earners, because even if he is not in this group they can still survive as a family. As the saying goes, 'you can take the man out of the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto out of the man'. Someone, and especially a father, who grew up in extreme poverty or in an area where extreme poverty exists, it is very difficult for him to make this 'mental shift' away from this type of thinking even if he sees with his own eyes that the circumstances around him are not like this (i.e. the way he grew up). Even if he didn't grow up in extreme poverty, the other reason might be he is very arrogant and thinks that all Muslim and even Mumin men are 'low quality' men unless they are in the top 5% of earners. He judges people based on their profession and income level. This is sometimes called 'red pill' and there are Muslims who have unfortunately adopted this thinking even though all our Imams((عليه السلام)) and Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) have spoken against this type of thinking as a particularly vile form of arrogance. 

Either way, like others have said you might be looking in the wrong place. Most ladies and their fathers do not adopt this type of thinking. They might have a little bit of it, but if you prove yourself to be a good person in terms of your Iman and Akhlaq and also that you are ambitious and are intending to support your family in the best capacity that Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has made available for you then they will overlook and will accept you.  Maybe start looking in other places, Salam. 

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On 5/5/2024 at 11:42 AM, 123xo said:

Louder please sheikh SSS, some people think you can't be a muslim or as they say a fully on m'umin and have fun. How dare you look good and smell good and enjoy yourself while being a good person and follower of islam and believer of Allah. You have to hate life and be an extremist that has no hope or desire for living and look like osama bin laddin and if you were a woman how dare you have a say and be outspoken? not even my dad is as strict as the ones on here, they fully make me feel like a kafira just for stating my wild criteria. Geez can't a girl share her 2am thoughts in peace.

Hey, if you're taken with a guy and have a busy life what's the point of being on here and complaining with other Shia's, that makes no sense. This is why I barely go on here now. Sad how "Shia" girls and "Shia" guy wants to hurl insults and jabs at each other. 

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On 5/2/2024 at 7:10 AM, Meedy said:

Is there any guys on this site has managed to achieved all what she described. 

Taller, Smells Good, Nice teeth, stable job and religious, romantic, healthy looking <--- All these are understandable.

6 pack aye? interesting does it that increases the chances of him have more intimacy time  and more often with her?  

love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. -he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too <--- Not reasonable expectation

I don't know whether you are joking or not. It would not surprised me if that's what they want. 

My issue is that they are not willing to give the guy a chance at least to talk for a bit, get to know each a bit then decide whether they are suitable or not.

The guys wants at least a chance to talk even if its mean he get rejected, it gives him more experience on what to say/not say, whether he needs to work on himself/reflect on his expectation... Bloody at least give the guy a chance for talk, its not very hard.

May God Mercy on us single guys :) 

Guys have to stop taking so much value of what women and girls say with their high list of demands when these women and girls won't even look at themselves to improve their iman. These girls will act vicious and dramatic and complain online as well. It's funny with western girls especially who point the finger but do the same. I'm older now, I don't care about impressing girls or women because even older women in their 60s, 70s and 80s are like what's wrong with girls today. It really pisses me off when Shia girls especially quote Imam Hussain or Imam Ali and PICK and CHOOSE what they want in Islam that they deem right, so even if God says, human beings should be like A, B and C. From my experiences living in Canada and dealing with Muslim girls, especially Shia girls is that they will look at that example and pick A and B and disregard C. On the day of judgment everyone will answer to their mistakes. I blame feminism as well.

There are Shia girls who label themselves as "feminists" and mix Islam together, especially in the West. Yup, good luck guys trying to deal with a Shia feminist in a western country, those types of girls will drive you crazy and most likely ask for divorce if you married them because those girls are always dealing with anxiety issues or anger issues themselves. I hate the blame game girls put on guys and this post may come across as very anti-female but I'm stating the truth. Any one of you guys can respond back to this and say Brother you shouldn't say that but you know what if a Shia girl is acting out of control, she can pretend to be nice online, we don't know behind closed doors if her own parents are disgusted by her actions and can't control her. To guys on here, if you talk to a girl, if she doesn't tell her parents within a month or max 2 months, stop talking to her, she's not worth, she wants to live a haram life style talking to many guys, forget her. You don't want a girl like that to be the daughter in-law to your father and mother and mother of your children. This is a tough pill for any Shia girl reading this who lives a vicarious, questionable life.  

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I always knew what I wanted in a spouse but I think finding what I want is hard. 

Women, generally, want a mature man who is their companion, someone who can romance them, be there for them when times are hard, and be “the whole package”. Having a good family and financial stability is also typically required.

As for what I personally want in a man: I want someone who is sensitive to my needs, preferably someone who understands the emotional needs of a writer, and is driven, and gets along with family. And if he’s from a decent family, then that’s a bonus.

Preferably, I would want a man who is a writer himself or plans on becoming a teacher. (Or both). I went to various therapists and counselors who basically told me, in so many words, to settle, and marry a man who meets some of your needs and that you two would be able to “build a life together”. 

I did that. I got divorced. 

So now, I am not compromising. I’m not going to waste my life on a man who is unwilling to give me what I want. Been there, done that. I have compromised enough and I’m never doing that again. Women may settle for “good enough” but not me.

Additionally, I don’t think what I want in a man is entirely out of the realm of possibility. If most people can eventually find what they’re looking for, then I can, too. Perhaps what I want, such as personality, goals, physical characteristics, is not what some women want, but that’s okay. I’m not going to get married again unless the person is exactly what I am looking for. 

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There is no one-fits-all answer to this question. It's like asking for one number that answers every math question. 

Instead of trying to figure out what women want, try focusing on developing your self and sincerely asking Allah azwj to bring you the right woman for you.

Allahu A'lam 

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On 5/2/2024 at 2:27 AM, 123xo said:

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

I don't know why exactly, but I enjoyed reading this response. I would personally add financially stable and humble to your list. My only question to your response is, he MUST own a big chunky truck? Why? What if he fits your description entirely except for having a truck? 

Also just a comment, but you say "our wants" and "we want" but most women I know don't want what you want. Nothing wrong with what you want, you do you. However I believe everyone has their own unique list.

To all the guys saying what this sister wants is impossible and unrealistic... maybe. Maybe not.

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On 5/3/2024 at 9:30 AM, Meedy said:

I think we all have different views and expectations. 

I'm sure there has plenty of discussion about this topics.

I'm using Muzz dating app. One girl i started talking... then next day her account is deactivated. Another girl, takes her days to reply then deactivate her account.. but why? I don't understand, she could at least have the decency say I'm so not interested rather than just deactivate the accounts. Some people are no longer active on their accounts.

This is what bothers me, why dont some women give the guy a chance for talk. At least for talk bit, that's all.

Anyways 

Dear Moderators, feel free to closed this topic if you see conflicts happening in here

Brother, those accounts that are deactivated soon after being activated... you're better off. There's a reason why they're deactivated. I highly doubt it's because she doesn't want to tell you she's not interested. If it was a "she" at all...
 

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On 5/5/2024 at 11:29 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Guys....the very notion of you trying to figure out what they want means that you are willing to change. If all women wanted a man who wore makeup, would you do that?

I wouldn't. If a woman was trying to change me, she can stay single and get herself a cat & pretend to be the boss babe shes been told she is by other single women in their midlife crisis group.  It's like a little club for validation.

What is it you're looking for guys? And are you on the same frequency to be able to match that. If you're looking for a 10/10 religious shia woman ...are you at least a 5 yourself? These mawlanas have been lying to you on the pulpits telling you just pray and that will qualify you to be a good catch. You have to have self belief but not delusion. Be realistic also....just go out and speak to a woman maybe say salam if she looks your way briefly..that could be a sign. Just say salam how are you? Try and deepen your voice a bit ..add a bit of bass and be charming 

 Don't come across as one of those 'im just a humble servant of Allah' demeanour ..it's sooo fake...believe me I've done it. Just be yourself and make sure you don't stink..trim your beard cut those spider hairs...don't try and look like Ayatullah Wahid Khorasani at 23 years old because your beard is just bum fluff armpit hair texture...trim it nicely moisturise your face...stop asking questions and trying to philosophise it..just go and ask  don't be shy...who cares what other people think.

Shy guys get put in the friendship zone 

'awww Ahmed is so cute ..he's a Hafiz of quran and he likes collecting stamps awww I just wanna look after him like my little brother ...he enjoys reading mulla sadra in his spare time but like I don't understand a word and when he talks to me about it I have no clue what he's saying it's so boring but I act interested..he doesn't ask about me though just wants to be religious'

Love your response. A little blunt, but gets the point across. Men need to focus on themselves. Build that confidence.

But like, what if those stamps are highly sought after stamps?

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On 6/15/2024 at 9:58 PM, humble-servant said:

To all the guys saying what this sister wants is impossible and unrealistic... maybe. Maybe not.

lol everyone got so mad at her response, i hope they are happy with themselves for bullying a young girl away

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