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In the Name of God بسم الله

What do women want...?

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@Meedy Marriage and dating apps have a disproportionate amount of male members vs female so when you message a lady she is probably being flooded with messages from many other guys simultaneously. She probably gets overwhelmed, can't respond to all the messages and then deactivates bc she gets weirded out. Plus I think now a day it's common to ghost people and not end talking relationships formally, it's bad manners but it's just part of the way people operate on social media these days unfortunately. 

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Posted (edited)
On 5/1/2024 at 11:27 PM, 123xo said:

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

Lol, here ya go...

Of of his many victories are his being a six-time undefeated World Professional Middleweight Karate Champion. Mr. Norris was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts.

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Edited by PureExistence1
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Posted (edited)
On 5/2/2024 at 4:10 AM, Meedy said:

big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do

Shoulda said Chevy or GMC,lol...:grin: Actually, i have my own truck so Im good!

@Meedy just kidding.. Im probs the only farm/country girl on this site..

Besides that, something i can say for both genders is having that kind of physique requires a major lifestyle to achieve-a particular diet that can be pretty restrictive making meal times a stress (unless she follows along) and also many hours in the gym...this need most likely increases as he ages so will need at least every other day in the gym for 1 to 2 hours...also, mastering any art requires frequent practice to remain in top performance. A man (or woman) only has so many hours in a day and onecw married, things inevitably DO change, especially when kids come along...and thats ok. Its what needs to happen. A shift in reprioritizing how we spend time. All of a sudden, especially around the late 40s and into the 50s, many people begin to realize having that body isnt as important to them anymore and they redirect their time to what IS important.

Idk...its all a dance-a dance that changes throughout our lives, at unsuspecting times and in differing ways...all a trial. The life of this dunya is weird....la illaha illah lah.

@123xo great post sis, lol..You know what you want and thats really important.

 

Edited by PureExistence1
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17 hours ago, 2Timeless said:

I wouldn't take it personally. Maybe you just didn't click. Also maybe they deactivated for a different reason, sounds like these dating apps have a lot of weird people so maybe they just deactivated because guys kept bothering them or something? 

Did you feel like you had chemistry/could get on with either of these girls? 

If they gave me a chance, then yes. but they wouldn't even talk properly. it would take ages from them to reply and most of them I do the talking. I ask them questions too hoping to get conversations going then they disappear. I have put good photos of myself. 

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Posted (edited)

'what do women want ?'

Well you see if you're speaking to chicks from back home, it's pretty simple

They want that passport.

Western women and western Muslim women are done out here. I've said this before, get yourself a salafi sister.

 all they want is a boy who has a beard, prays and is  a little bit streetwise. (They love the tracksuit thobe with Jordans combination TRUST ME) Bless them

Edited by SO SOLID SHIA
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6 hours ago, Diaz said:

Brother, try to pray in the mosque if you can everyday, don’t forget to pray salatul layl and make dua, you know it’s one of th

Also, once you are going to the mosque regularly plug into what the volunteer opportunities there are. This way you can expand your social network while being of service. At least where I live people come to tje mosque frequently to ask for a marriage match up. 

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On 5/3/2024 at 12:11 PM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

^ salam alaykum @123xo

If you weren't taken, I would have been discussing Quran tafseer with you in the Dm's 

HA-HA-HA veryy funny

hameedeh ban this guy he is trying to seduce young impressionable women and breaking happy homes!!!

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28 minutes ago, hawdini said:

HA-HA-HA veryy funny

hameedeh ban this guy he is trying to seduce young impressionable women and breaking happy homes!!!

Someone is feeling hurt because they don't fit into the 'young' category 

 

But either way thats not true please stop fabricating Abu Hawrayra

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On 5/2/2024 at 7:27 AM, 123xo said:

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

Sister,

I'm a lady so I'm not against you. Firstly, I very much doubt that men like this exist. This description is nothing more than a fantasy. Furthermore, if a man like this was to exist, he would expect the woman to be his equivalent and perfect match in every way. 

I have friends who had these expectations in their mid 20s and now that they are in their mid 30s (and still single) they'd be happy to even meet a civilised, pious professional man. 

We all live in hope though, I guess :)  

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1 hour ago, A_Flower said:

Sister,

I'm a lady so I'm not against you. Firstly, I very much doubt that men like this exist. This description is nothing more than a fantasy. Furthermore, if a man like this was to exist, he would expect the woman to be his equivalent and perfect match in every way. 

I have friends who had these expectations in their mid 20s and now that they are in their mid 30s (and still single) they'd be happy to even meet a civilised, pious professional man. 

We all live in hope though, I guess :)  

Hello sis, i'm not sure where you are or where you live but these type of guys do exist lol, some of you need to come down to Western sydney (if you're into ethnic guys) and/or norther beaches/shore if you're into white guys. Moral of story athletic well built men with trucks do exist. All it takes is a drive by a construction site in Western Sydney on a summer's day and you'll see the  shirtless Arab guys and/or Mediterranean on site, with their trucks parked down the street. North shore guys would be more into surfing and sports, they most likely would have a truck or some sort of a big car that cater's for their adventures. Most guys from both races love fitness, fishing, camping and 4WD.

The man i'm with now (inshallah our marriage will be smooth despite the obstacles) He was in the military for a few years and in the last 2yrs he shifted to policing, so you can imagine the amount of training he does and he does most of the things i listed in my previous post. I'd never settle for a man that doesn't value his wellbeing and health, as this type of men are healthy mentally and physically, and it's so much more fun and interesting to be around them. 
 

xo

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Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, root said:

If you want a Zahra, you better make sure you are an Ali...........That's what my mom used to say. Guess it goes both ways. Just out of curiosity, how come religious and faithful come so late in this very long list. Also why somewhat religious? Also, you do know that 6 pack, after the age of 35 is pretty ambitious right, unless you are juicing like a Greek god, or you are skinny in which case it doesn't even count. Can't really change your height, humour, what type of car one likes, or even liking shooting or caping. Out of that entire list, like 3 things are possible to change the rest are kind of born with. 

Hi, i'm not in my 30's and not interested in men in their 30's either so them not having 6pack isn't my issue. Plus fit guys most of them remain fit even in their 30s/40s they might not have a 4pack but they will still be well built if they maintain their fitness routine. 
 

Also please go back and read what i said about height. I said Taller than us i didn't say he has to be tall or a certain height. I'm 5'3 so it's super easy to find a guy taller than me & most females are shorter than the average male. 

Edited by 123xo
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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, A_Flower said:

Sister,

I'm a lady so I'm not against you. Firstly, I very much doubt that men like this exist. This description is nothing more than a fantasy.

 

I kinda disagree here. Which part is fantasy? All of them is doable. It's that we have grown accustomed to a stereotypical portrayal that has not been in those conditions.

The only thing that's harder to change and is determined by genetics, is height, all the other things is possible and I would say almost wajib in a sense (stay healthy and fit).

but yes, it's not being realistic in that sense that she basically only listed external factors. The internal factors are much harder to work on and probably more important for long term and healthy relationship. Otherwise I like all other men, would only be interested in girls you see at the gym, with shapes and curves lol. And then muslim girls wouldnt have much chance since they are supposed to hide those features.

 

3 hours ago, A_Flower said:

I have friends who had these expectations in their mid 20s and now that they are in their mid 30s (and still single) they'd be happy to even meet a civilised, pious professional man. 

 

Yes, this is very common. I believe that social media plays a significant role in shaping this trend.

 

Edited by EiE
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2 hours ago, 123xo said:

Hello sis, i'm not sure where you are or where you live but these type of guys do exist lol, some of you need to come down to Western sydney (if you're into ethnic guys) and/or norther beaches/shore if you're into white guys. Moral of story athletic well built men with trucks do exist. All it takes is a drive by a construction site in Western Sydney on a summer's day and you'll see the  shirtless Arab guys and/or Mediterranean on site, with their trucks parked down the street. North shore guys would be more into surfing and sports, they most likely would have a truck or some sort of a big car that cater's for their adventures. Most guys from both races love fitness, fishing, camping and 4WD.

The man i'm with now (inshallah our marriage will be smooth despite the obstacles) He was in the military for a few years and in the last 2yrs he shifted to policing, so you can imagine the amount of training he does and he does most of the things i listed in my previous post. I'd never settle for a man that doesn't value his wellbeing and health, as this type of men are healthy mentally and physically, and it's so much more fun and interesting to be around them. 
 

xo

MashAllah! I'm very happy for you. May Allah help you to overcome all the obstacles, and may you find peace and solace in your fiance (and vice versa). Ameen.

 

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1 hour ago, A_Flower said:

MashAllah! I'm very happy for you. May Allah help you to overcome all the obstacles, and may you find peace and solace in your fiance (and vice versa). Ameen.

 

Thank you so much sis, may Allah bless you with something twice as good. Ameen 

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On 5/4/2024 at 6:16 AM, PureExistence1 said:

Lol, here ya go...

Of of his many victories are his being a six-time undefeated World Professional Middleweight Karate Champion. Mr. Norris was also a renowned teacher in the martial arts.

ezgif.com-optimize.gif

giphy-ezgif.com-optimize (1).gif

Salam , off topic just for fun

bruce lee kicks chuck norris Blank Template - Imgflip  :accident:  Bruce Lee kicking Chuck Norris in the head. | Bruce lee photos, Bruce ... :brucelee: :accident:Bruce Lee Chuck Norris, Way Of The Dragon, Bruce Lee Martial Arts ...:brucelee:

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7 hours ago, 123xo said:

Hi, i'm not in my 30's and not interested in men in their 30's either so them not having 6pack isn't my issue. Plus fit guys most of them remain fit even in their 30s/40s they might not have a 4pack but they will still be well built if they maintain their fitness routine. 
 

Also please go back and read what i said about height. I said Taller than us i didn't say he has to be tall or a certain height. I'm 5'3 so it's super easy to find a guy taller than me & most females are shorter than the average male. 

That's fine, but the question was generic, not what 123xo wants.

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44 minutes ago, root said:

That's fine, but the question was generic, not what 123xo wants.

He literally asked what women want, and i answered. please don't be upset cause you don't meet the criteria lol.

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On 5/2/2024 at 4:27 PM, 123xo said:

Our wants are simple and easy,

We want a hot man with 6pack actually 4pack will do too, is taller than us, has a great sense of humour, smells good, does some sort of MMA or boxing or both idek the difference but yes has to do at least one and master it too. Also nice teeth and has a stable job oh and he has to also be somewhat religious, faithful  & romantic , must love 4WD and outdoorsy activities, like hunting, shooting, camping etc. Also he must own a big chunky truck like RAM actually a Ford Ranger Raptor will do too.

Almost all of them are achievable tho but some men just wanna stay on the couch and cry about their problems instead of bettering themselves.

xo

You generally have really odd takes, but tbh this take is not unreasonable… I don’t understand why people are saying it’s ridiculous or a red flag, what is a red flag about it? 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, Guest Idk said:

You generally have really odd takes, but tbh this take is not unreasonable… I don’t understand why people are saying it’s ridiculous or a red flag, what is a red flag about it? 

I should say it's a possible red flag. You wouldn't know if it's an actual red flag until you actually talk to the lady. 

The guys who are good looking, dress nice, are successful financially (which is what those comments boil down to) AND are mumin want a lady who is mumina. They realize that they were born with the good looks, although they might do a few things to maintain them like go to the gym, etc, but they don't give the credit for that to themselves. It is the Rahma of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). Same with the financial success although they might have done a few things right like went to college, got good grades, worked hard in an internship, etc, etc. At the same time they know this is from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) because there are many, many mumin guys who do all this but despite all that they are not financially successful. So they give credit to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), are constantly doing shukr, and in this way they are mumin. 

A guy like this is primarily concerned with Iman and Aklaq of the sister he wants to marry. If he finds her on social media, he will look carefully at what she posts about and what her criteria for a spouse are, as this is a small window into her Iman and Aklaq. It doesn't tell him much, but it tells him what is dhahir (apparent) about her. If most of her criteria are duniyat (worldy) related and very specific and it seems she is not willing to compromise on any of it, from those posts he will assume that she is primarily concerned with the dunya and not with deen or akhira. This might be a wrong assumption, but all he has to go on are her posts. A guy who is mumin, whether he is successful and good looking or not, is not going to want a lady like this for a wife, and it doesn't matter how good looking she is. He understands that he is not going to spend the majority of his time staring at his wife, but the majority of time in a marriage will be an uphill climb thru the trials and tribulations of this life and he wants an ethical and reliable partner to help him thru this because he understands the purpose of the dunya, i.e. a place of imtihan (trials and tests) and not a place of permanent stay or a place of compensation for good deeds or sins. 

A guy who is good looking, financially successful, dress nice, etc and is not a mumin is not a guy that any sister here would want. Most of the time, he is a predator and uses his good looks, etc, for purposes that will end up harming his wife. Most of you already know what I am talking about. If he is not a predator, then he is a weak man and others will use his good looks, fiancial success, etc for their own purposes and he will not be able to stand up and defend his family at times when this is necessary. 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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@Abu Hadi &&& what is even your definition of mumina?? just cause a woman is outspoken and is confident doesn't make her any less of a "mumina" no one is perfect, and no such thing as perfect muslim we are all full of faults, your faults might be far more worse than the women you're judging.

Please go search the term Mumina on google and see what comes up, it literally says submission to the will of Allah and has faith in their heart. Also, if you're still not sure about what it really means then look for it in the Quran and see what Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) says what a mumina is. It doesn't say a Mumina, must have no wants or interests, and if she does she must be a terrible non worthy muslim. Lol ridiculous.
 

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19 minutes ago, notme said:

Don't let emotion or loneliness cloud your judgment.

THIS! EXACTLY SISTER! when seeking a suitable partner, a lot of people tend to think more emotionally and so they look at the way a person looks and start daydreaming and whatnot. Thinking logically will reduce the chances of having what i call 'rose colored glasses syndrome' and only seeing the good about that person. You will instead see the reality of that person. Being emotional about this will just further amplify that feeling of loneliness and cloud an individuals judgement even more whereas having a more logical approach will result in making the best choice and being less impatient means making good decisions. 

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37 minutes ago, root said:

Why do you always go personal when someone gives you a little push, it's almost as if you have some self esteem issue or something? It's not your first time, relax with the attitude. The question was clearly generic, and not what you specifically want. And i do not meet your criteria, i have 3 kids and a wife, I have no need for a RAM with useless amount of horsepower, i do not need to compensate that badly. Nor do i do MMA and grappling to impress girls, I have done it from i was 10 years old because my dad was a military guy and he believed a man should be able to handle himself, irregardless of what woman think. And i didn't go on the damn mats 4 hours a day because some girl wants to see scars, but because i believed in my dad and his advice, which resulted in countless tournaments and championships. I don't have 6 pack anymore, not since i was 22, but i do hold 5 Scandinavian records on both deadlift and squat. I have probably broken more bones than you can count, and endured more pain than you can comprehend. I have hunted all my adult life, and i can hit a fly off your nose from 800 yards away. All these things matters diddly squat if you don't have strong faith, dignity, honesty, sincerity, bravery, patience. Which clearly was not even halfway up your list.

So if you want to get personal, make sure you know the person. Next time you get personal, i'll just remove you, simple as that. And all your "i got a man that has silky smooth skin and does mma at his local gym that noone cares about and this site doesn't matter" comments etc won't mean anything, let him deal with this sporadic personality of yours. 

Please don't be upset because your idea of what real woman want is real men, and not some fruitcake fantasy about six packs and doing "MMA". Real woman are not 13.......

Aww, it wasn't that deep why do you sound so angry? & yes i do go personal in my posts 99% of the time cause this is what discussions are all about, about sharing our own bits and pieces of personal experiences , advices & knowledge. This is not a uni essay where we only have to use academic sources in our answers. How boring.

If this doesn't make you feel comfortable you're more than welcome to use your lil e-power and delete my posts lol 

Also i love my fantasy fruitcake and i'm so proud of him.

Cheers, hope you're feeling better now.

 

ps; stay toxic queens and never settle for couch potatoes aka keyboard warriors, also only settle for your dreamy 6pack RAM hunter MMA champion. 

Xo

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16 minutes ago, 123xo said:

Aww, it wasn't that deep why do you sound so angry? & yes i do go personal in my posts 99% of the time cause this is what discussions are all about, about sharing our own bits and pieces of personal experiences , advices & knowledge. This is not a uni essay where we only have to use academic sources in our answers. How boring.

If this doesn't make you feel comfortable you're more than welcome to use your lil e-power and delete my posts lol 

Also i love my fantasy fruitcake and i'm so proud of him.

Cheers, hope you're feeling better now.

 

ps; stay toxic queens and never settle for couch potatoes aka keyboard warriors, also only settle for your dreamy 6pack RAM hunter MMA champion. 

Xo

I'm happy that you met your person, sister.

My expectations are different. I'm in a financially sound position Alhumdulliah and that's not a flex. It's a double edged sword as one never knows if the man in question is only interested in your money. I joke with my friends and state a man could marry me for 2 years; divorce me, walk away with half my assets and upgrade with a new and younger model.

Also, my expectations are different to yours but unattainable IMHO. Alpha male, leader, protector, high EQ, intellectually stimulating, good conversationalist, confident, someone who is self sufficient financially and is walking in the path of our deen so we can go Ziarats together and do amaal together inshAllah. OFC, some things you stated are relevant to all people (men and women alike) - good hygiene, health/fitness conscious etc. 

Do I think I'll meet such a person: No. Am I willing to compromise: No. Why: If I'm not nuts in awe of someone and if I don't respect them I'll just keep pushing back and become unmanageable which will cause an instant divorce. Yet, if I respect the person in question, I'm willing to turn a blind eye to many things.

I think this is true across the board for men and women alike. If we're not married to people we genuinely like and admire we'll get frustrated and annoyed with that person and self sabotage, unfortunately. One is only willing to compromise with/for people we genuinely like as we want to make them happy - so we shouldn't put ourselves in a situation where this aspect doesn't come about organically, naturally and instinctively.   

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5 minutes ago, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Guys....the very notion of you trying to figure out what they want means that you are willing to change. If all women wanted a man who wore makeup, would you do that?

I wouldn't. If a woman was trying to change me, she can stay single and get herself a cat & pretend to be the boss babe shes been told she is by other single women in their midlife crisis group.  It's like a little club for validation.

What is it you're looking for guys? And are you on the same frequency to be able to match that. If you're looking for a 10/10 religious shia woman ...are you at least a 5 yourself? These mawlanas have been lying to you on the pulpits telling you just pray and that will qualify you to be a good catch. You have to have self belief but not delusion. Be realistic also....just go out and speak to a woman maybe say salam if she looks your way briefly..that could be a sign. Just say salam how are you? Try and deepen your voice a bit ..add a bit of bass and be charming 

 Don't come across as one of those 'im just a humble servant of Allah' demeanour ..it's sooo fake...believe me I've done it. Just be yourself and make sure you don't stink..trim your beard cut those spider hairs...don't try and look like Ayatullah Wahid Khorasani at 23 years old because your beard is just bum fluff armpit hair texture...trim it nicely moisturise your face...stop asking questions and trying to philosophise it..just go and ask  don't be shy...who cares what other people think.

Shy guys get put in the friendship zone 

'awww Ahmed is so cute ..he's a Hafiz of quran and he likes collecting stamps awww I just wanna look after him like my little brother '

Louder please sheikh SSS, some people think you can't be a muslim or as they say a fully on m'umin and have fun. How dare you look good and smell good and enjoy yourself while being a good person and follower of islam and believer of Allah. You have to hate life and be an extremist that has no hope or desire for living and look like osama bin laddin and if you were a woman how dare you have a say and be outspoken? not even my dad is as strict as the ones on here, they fully make me feel like a kafira just for stating my wild criteria. Geez can't a girl share her 2am thoughts in peace.

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1 hour ago, 123xo said:

Aww, it wasn't that deep why do you sound so angry? & yes i do go personal in my posts 99% of the time cause this is what discussions are all about, about sharing our own bits and pieces of personal experiences , advices & knowledge. This is not a uni essay where we only have to use academic sources in our answers. How boring.

If this doesn't make you feel comfortable you're more than welcome to use your lil e-power and delete my posts lol 

Also i love my fantasy fruitcake and i'm so proud of him.

Cheers, hope you're feeling better now.

 

ps; stay toxic queens and never settle for couch potatoes aka keyboard warriors, also only settle for your dreamy 6pack RAM hunter MMA champion. 

Xo

Goodbye then :) Come back when puberty is over!

That did feel better, thank you :)

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2 hours ago, root said:

i have 3 kids and a wife, I have no need for a RAM with useless amount of horsepower, i do not need to compensate that badly. Nor do i do MMA and grappling to impress girls, I have done it from i was 10 years old because my dad was a military guy and he believed a man should be able to handle himself, irregardless of what woman think. And i didn't go on the damn mats 4 hours a day because some girl wants to see scars, but because i believed in my dad and his advice, which resulted in countless tournaments and championships. I don't have 6 pack anymore, not since i was 22, but i do hold 5 Scandinavian records on both deadlift and squat. I have probably broken more bones than you can count, and endured more pain than you can comprehend. I have hunted all my adult life, and i can hit a fly off your nose from 800 yards away. All these things matters diddly squat if you don't have strong faith, dignity, honesty, sincerity, bravery, patience. Which clearly was not even halfway up your list.

 

Impressive. It is interesting to see how individuals who have accomplished similar feats as you do not feel the need to boast about their achievements, as they are confident in their own abilities and the hard work they put in. On the other hand, there are those like her who constantly seems to seek attention and validation from others, by sharing every private detail of their life and even upload a video of herself in the forums lol.

She then questioned why I apologized via PM, acting as if my apology was for saying something "wrong." While I may have unintentionally hurt her feelings, my apology was made with the intention of persuading her to take down her weird video. I am unsure if she removed the video herself or if it was taken down by the moderators. Regardless, her behavior continues to give off strange vibes. Her character does not seem to be the best, especially considering her posts on this forum. Let's hope her soon to be hubby with a big truck never finds her posts lol.

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Love, dating and dating apps are shirk and bid'ah anyway. 

 

On 5/4/2024 at 2:49 PM, Diaz said:

Brother, try to pray in the mosque if you can everyday, don’t forget to pray salatul layl and make dua, you know it’s one of the best prayers. Don’t be shy to ask your friends or relatives if they know a good woman with good akhlaq and pious. 

Only this ^ is sunnah. 

 

For dadash @Meedy

تا مردی (زنی؟ ) گفتہ باشد، عیب و ھنرش نھفتہ باشد 

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2 hours ago, 123xo said:

Geez can't a girl share her 2am thoughts in peace.

Don't think that's the issue here babe. I think its the way she expresses those 2am thoughts and how she always has to attack anyone who disagrees with her in the slightest. 

Love - your fellow mumima :muslima:

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