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In the Name of God بسم الله

Godwariness or anxiety

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Revert... I want to be mindful of Allah but I have panic attacks when I read about the Imams (عليه السلام)... I want to follow them but so much of the advice they give makes me feel evil or stupid or both... and I have trouble understanding/accepting how perfect they are... feels like having a father everyone loves who's always mad at you... It makes me terrified of being a hypocrite or a bad Shia... I want to strengthen my faith but every book except the Quran makes me want to tear my hair out and run into the woods yelling... I can't tell what's a normal level of fearing God and what's my mental disorder... I don't know any Shia or live near any Shia communities... I don't want to be ignorant or heedless but reading gives me this paranoia... is this something that happens to other people? Is there any way up from this? 

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Salaam Alaykum,

Ahlulbait invite us to have BOTH hope and fear خوف و رجا in arabic. I think you focus too much on the punishment that takes your peace of mind. We are recommended to have both hope in Allah mercy and fear of our own actions.

Brother, we just passed Ramadan and Allah forgave many many Muslims. You should be happy and try to keep the connection you had in Ramadan. I read this Hadeeth from the prophet that Allah tells human being that I created the whole world for you, and I created you for myself. This is the connection, closeness, and kindness that Allah has towards us. Inshaallah through attaching to Ahlulbait teachings you'll find peace of mind and Allah mercy.

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17 hours ago, Quran313 said:

Salaam Alaykum,

Ahlulbait invite us to have BOTH hope and fear خوف و رجا in arabic. I think you focus too much on the punishment that takes your peace of mind. We are recommended to have both hope in Allah mercy and fear of our own actions.

Brother, we just passed Ramadan and Allah forgave many many Muslims. You should be happy and try to keep the connection you had in Ramadan. I read this Hadeeth from the prophet that Allah tells human being that I created the whole world for you, and I created you for myself. This is the connection, closeness, and kindness that Allah has towards us. Inshaallah through attaching to Ahlulbait teachings you'll find peace of mind and Allah mercy.

Inshallah you're right... I flip between being too worried, trying to worry less then getting carried away taking things lightly or being careless and that never leads anywhere good... reading narrations about not talking or joking too much too... makes me wonder how I'm supposed to act, like how I'm supposed to be as a person... this is why not being around Shia messes me up, I don't know what normal balance looks like... I am going to try reading again Inshallah it goes differently this time... Jazakallah Khair... 

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Salam I think the most important thing Muslims forget is their individuality. What makes you separate from the other billions of people is your own nature and personality. Don't ever forget who you are.

You should never think you are a bad person because that in itself is shaytaan getting you ready to go into a downward spiral of despair. Having said that you should also never think that you are above anyone else. So you need the balance of not being too gassed and not being oblivious. Self conscious is God conscious. No need to burn yourself out. It's as simple as having good intentions towards yourself and others. Looking at your Creator or viewing the prophet or imams as someone who is always mad at you is also very destructive because it delves into that narcissism category where you're trying your best to please someone and it's never good enough. You will end up really depressed and Allah doesn't want that for you. Allah loves you a lot and he wants you to become the highest version of yourself which can only happen if you are kind to yourself. Please try not to complicate it and relax. I think you're thinking too deeply about this buddy and it's not necessary

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