Anxiety and divorced

[sweetsoul]

Salam all 

I used to use this site years ago as sisterfatima1 

I’m divorced with an 8 year old son who is my world and my heart 

i somehow can not feel relaxed and feel overly anxious about the future as im 31 i feel I failed myself in terms of failed marriages and now I feel more alone than ever as I feel like im at my now or never stage because ill somehow be too old if i continue being single 

 

i also feel so much discomfort being alone and my son does give me company but I feel like it’s not the only company I’m needing 

I don’t like to live as a single mum with nobody by my side I really want someone to be my side 

I can’t sleep normally I wake up feeling so much anxiety I have to have my friends sleep on the phone with me to have a decent sleep 

I’m really struggling to deal with this 

[ali_fatheroforphans]

Ramadan Mubarak Sister, I do recall you and we will all keep you in our du'as.

After every hardship there is ease. 

And there are plenty of examples of successful cases even after the women was divorced of eventually finding one. Its far from the end of the world.

 

Edited March 21, 2024 by ali_fatheroforphans

[Abu Hadi]

7 hours ago, sweetsoul said:

Salam all 

I used to use this site years ago as sisterfatima1 

I’m divorced with an 8 year old son who is my world and my heart 

i somehow can not feel relaxed and feel overly anxious about the future as im 31 i feel I failed myself in terms of failed marriages and now I feel more alone than ever as I feel like im at my now or never stage because ill somehow be too old if i continue being single 

 

i also feel so much discomfort being alone and my son does give me company but I feel like it’s not the only company I’m needing 

I don’t like to live as a single mum with nobody by my side I really want someone to be my side 

I can’t sleep normally I wake up feeling so much anxiety I have to have my friends sleep on the phone with me to have a decent sleep 

I’m really struggling to deal with this 

Salam Alekum

The solution for anxiety is action. If u really want to find someone don't become obsessed with the fact that you are not the ideal candidate for marriage because you are divorced and have a child but focus on the qualities you have that a potential spouse would find appealing and try to extend and enhance those qualities. Then actively go out and seek a spouse. Let it be known in your social network and your community that u are looking and do not listen or pay attention to those who say that ' oh she will never find anyone because x,y,z'. Those are jealous, useless people that u don't need to deal with 

The main thing is sabr and determination. If u are patient and determined u will eventually reach your goal. Also ask Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) often for your need thru salat and Dua. 

[Gaius I. Caesar]

On 3/20/2024 at 10:14 PM, sweetsoul said:

i also feel so much discomfort being alone and my son does give me company but I feel like it’s not the only company I’m needing 

I don’t like to live as a single mum with nobody by my side I really want someone to be my side 

I can’t sleep normally I wake up feeling so much anxiety I have to have my friends sleep on the phone with me to have a decent sleep 

I’m really struggling to deal with this 

Salaam alaikum, I understand sister. I been dealing with similar feelings of anxiety and feeling unwanted as a disabled man. For example, I have often feel pressured because my mother is who my primary caretaker, is getting older and if she were to pass, I have no plan or place to go. I'm sorry that you are still alone and dealing with this, you are not the only one dealing with such situations.

Edited March 28, 2024 by Gaius I. Caesar
Clarity

[123xo]

8 hours ago, Gaius I. Caesar said:

Salaam alaikum, I understand sister. I been dealing with similar feelings of anxiety and feeling unwanted as a disabled man. For example, I have often feel pressured because my mother is who my primary caretaker, is getting older and if she were to pass, I have no plan or place to go. I'm sorry that you are still alone and dealing with this, you are not the only one dealing with such situations.

Hello,

You're so brave ! And inshallah Allah blesses you and your mother with long age and health. You're never alone, neither unwanted. 

My prayers xo