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In the Name of God بسم الله

HELP: Zina, masturbation and hardness of heart

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11 hours ago, 123xo said:

Alright you can show him empathy as much as you like, it wont change anything, really doesn't change the fact that what he is doing is filth. As i said i don't have to sugarcoat what my opinion is, if he's grown enough to be doing that i'm pretty sure he's grown enough to take criticism.

You think guys that indulge in such activities are always grown men? 

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18 hours ago, 123xo said:

what he is doing is filth.

What you are doing may also be filthy, particularly if Allah has already forgiven him and changed his "filth" into "reward"....while you may be answerable infront of Allah for ridiculing, humiliating and insulting others. There is no place in Islam for such arrogance, holier-than-thou attitude. 

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Thanks brother @ali_fatheroforphans for the advice and resources. Let the brothers and sisters struggling with this sin know that spending some money to rid yourselves of this ugly sin is a worthwhile investment. You can go ahead and subscribe to Sayyid Makki's course. 

If you can not afford the course for some reason, then there are free resources as well. Brian Brandenburg's guide, which I have referred to above, is also a time-tested one. The eBook is easily available. Read and implement the guide, without any alterations or skipping. 

Personally, if I could afford it, I would have even paid for each and every brother/sister who wants to enroll in these de-addiction courses, such is the ugliness and the dangerous reality of this sin. It has rent families, careers and reputations apart. 

Remember that if there is a will, there is a way. You have to take the first step and commit yourself to finishing the program and freeing yourselves from the clutches of this addiction. 

 

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On 3/3/2024 at 3:34 PM, AbdusSibtayn said:

Thanks brother @ali_fatheroforphans for the advice and resources. Let the brothers and sisters struggling with this sin know that spending some money to rid yourselves of this ugly sin is a worthwhile investment. You can go ahead and subscribe to Sayyid Makki's course. 

If you can not afford the course for some reason, then there are free resources as well. Brian Brandenburg's guide, which I have referred to above, is also a time-tested one. The eBook is easily available. Read and implement the guide, without any alterations or skipping. 

Personally, if I could afford it, I would have even paid for each and every brother/sister who wants to enroll in these de-addiction courses, such is the ugliness and the dangerous reality of this sin. It has rent families, careers and reputations apart. 

Remember that if there is a will, there is a way. You have to take the first step and commit yourself to finishing the program and freeing yourselves from the clutches of this addiction. 

 

Given the target audience , and this is no criticism, but a course like this should have been free, and widely available.

Majority of young people in todays day who have the insight and will to even participate on a course and recognise they need to reform, may well be held back by the pay wall, the bells and whistles etc.

Recovering from evil habits and addictions needs to be a process that is free, easily available, to make that path to recovery better.

 

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33 minutes ago, In Gods Name said:

Given the target audience , and this is no criticism, but a course like this should have been free, and widely available.

Majority of young people in todays day who have the insight and will to even participate on a course and recognise they need to reform, may well be held back by the pay wall, the bells and whistles etc.

Recovering from evil habits and addictions needs to be a process that is free, easily available, to make that path to recovery better.

 

I do agree with you but remember there will be a big amount of people joining if the course is free, the course is $100 and it’s for a lifetime and updated it so I think I understand why sayid makke didn’t make it for free. 

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1 hour ago, Diaz said:

I do agree with you but remember there will be a big amount of people joining if the course is free, the course is $100 and it’s for a lifetime and updated it so I think I understand why sayid makke didn’t make it for free. 

The more people join the better, it can be capped if too many go in and a waiting list made.

In my view if it works of course it's worth it. Depending on how one defines 'works'.

However, $100 is going to be a huge barrier.  

There are tonnes of free resources out there.

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Salaams, 

many people, including many Muslims, with sexual and pornography addictions have found lasting recovery and sobriety through the 12-step approach. It is a spiritual program based on surrender, accountability, and facing one’s inner character defects. 
 

please check out the link below for “sexaholics Anonymous”. Try to go to a meeting, there are many on Zoom and you don’t need to reveal your identity. Start going to meetings and try to find a sponsor as soon as you can. Never lose hope. Millions of people have recovered from addiction and you can too inshallah.

www.sa.org

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5 hours ago, In Gods Name said:

Given the target audience , and this is no criticism, but a course like this should have been free, and widely available.

Majority of young people in todays day who have the insight and will to even participate on a course and recognise they need to reform, may well be held back by the pay wall, the bells and whistles etc.

Recovering from evil habits and addictions needs to be a process that is free, easily available, to make that path to recovery better.

 

Agreed. 

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8 hours ago, In Gods Name said:

Given the target audience , and this is no criticism, but a course like this should have been free, and widely available.

Majority of young people in todays day who have the insight and will to even participate on a course and recognise they need to reform, may well be held back by the pay wall, the bells and whistles etc.

Recovering from evil habits and addictions needs to be a process that is free, easily available, to make that path to recovery better.

 

Agreed. There are many of our youth who probably cannot afford it and might not have the courage to ask their parents. If they do get exposed to such material and courses they could largely benefit. 

 

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On 3/5/2024 at 9:39 AM, In Gods Name said:

In my view if it works of course it's worth it. Depending on how one defines 'works'.

Anyone who understands the science of addiction would know that a course can never claim to cure ones addiction. The process of rewiring your brain cannot be done in a few weeks according to science. I am expecting that such courses can provide the basic tools on managing addiction. 

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Posted (edited)
On 3/1/2024 at 2:54 AM, Jawad Sbaiti said:

I am a Muslim by birth, raised and born in the West.

 

On 3/1/2024 at 2:54 AM, Jawad Sbaiti said:

I'm using Google Translate so sorry if my English isn't very good.

giphy.gif

 

ok ok I get it west could also be France

How old are you man? Secondly out of curiosity how did you end up in a situation with another dude ? Was it study partner etc We need answers about the environment. I would simply remove myself from such environments in the future. If you feel like being alone with this dude again and know something is going to go down then avoid it perhaps? 

Edited by SO SOLID SHIA
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On 3/2/2024 at 1:02 AM, 123xo said:

Also if he was fully sincere in his repentance i guarantee you 100% that he'd never do the same thing again, but as i said his repentance (tawbah) isn't 100% sincere from the heart which as a result he keeps falling weak to his crappy urges. 

yeah but you don't know how old he is. He could be a young kid in which case you have to understand and show a little more empathy.

 

I know crackheads who are 100% sincere all the time, but when it comes to crack they are overtaken for those moments and then realise they are in a dangerous vicious cycle afterwards...the Post High clarity. It's not as simple as repenting and reading Quran....other factors like possible child trauma, bad experiences, bullying , absent parents all contribute to these behaviours !

 

giphy.gif

 

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Everyone is overreacting to what i said, kinda cute how serious yall are online lol maybe you need to be back in touch with reality xo

&&& to those who said he might be a little kid he literally mentioned in his OP that he was a "young man" i don't think a 17yr old or under would refer to himself as a young man??!! Also if he was a little kid how on earth would he "date" a trans dude lol please use your brains before typing not your fingers. 

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On 3/11/2024 at 12:32 AM, 123xo said:

i don't think a 17yr old or under would refer to himself as a young man??!!

Are you womansplaining to us who identify as male ?

Every male teenager wants to be known as a man. No teenager calls themselves a little boy. 

I'm guessing this dude is at the most 22. Anything older and.......well yeah ..yikes

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13 hours ago, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Are you womansplaining to us who identify as male ?

Every male teenager wants to be known as a man. No teenager calls themselves a little boy. 

I'm guessing this dude is at the most 22. Anything older and.......well yeah ..yikes

Don't pull me into this, i'm trynna be good........for  30days at least....

But yes yikesssss indeed. 

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On 3/10/2024 at 8:32 PM, 123xo said:

Everyone is overreacting to what i said, kinda cute how serious yall are online lol maybe you need to be back in touch with reality xo

&&& to those who said he might be a little kid he literally mentioned in his OP that he was a "young man" i don't think a 17yr old or under would refer to himself as a young man??!! Also if he was a little kid how on earth would he "date" a trans dude lol please use your brains before typing not your fingers. 

what did u say that are making people "overreact"

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