Please anyone give me advice

[minsa]

Please if anyone can help me 

Unfortunately in 2023 my mother got diagnosed with CA.. I left my course and decided to be with my mother. I am not strong and practical enough to continue my work and leave mother. Whole year father was angry on me and made a very bad environment why I am wasting time. He made me guilty and like a criminal. Silent treatment mental torture.. Send many people to me like his frnd telling u have lost right path we need to show u.. Go do ur work.. Also father send his sister s brother who also taunted u hav nt achieved anything.. They all made me guilty.. Many times a thought to continue my course but i am very emotional I couldn't leave my mother in this hard time... My father treats me very badly.. I begin to question myself have I done wrong..i am too weak to deal with all this..how can i leave my mother...am i doing wrong by staying with her and leaving my life

 

Day by day I get hopeless.. Plz help me.. 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

Hey Bud salam

I don't think you've done anything wrong at all. Firstly I pray your mother makes a full recovery. If a child was diagnosed with an illness, it would be inconceivable to think  a mother would leave her child and continue with her worldly affairs, you're just showing your mother the same respect and love back 

since your mother is ill, you need to look after your health and wellbeing so that you can support her better. If you feel you will be more of a help to her by constantly being with her then you probably made the right decision

Is your mum getting treatment and is she making progress ?

I don't think anyone would say you have done anything wrong, but maybe also think about preparing to continue your course for your mother's sake too if it will make her happy and balance the two together ..obviously your mother's health is your main priority right now..it's a sticky one still

But I thought let me give the human touch before all the references and quotes start flooding in. Stay strong you are doing something Godly by staying by your mother's side !

Edited February 6, 2024 by SO SOLID SHIA

[minsa]

4 hours ago, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Hey Bud salam

I don't think you've done anything wrong at all. Firstly I pray your mother makes a full recovery. If a child was diagnosed with an illness, it would be inconceivable to think  a mother would leave her child and continue with her worldly affairs, you're just showing your mother the same respect and love back 

since your mother is ill, you need to look after your health and wellbeing so that you can support her better. If you feel you will be more of a help to her by constantly being with her then you probably made the right decision

Is your mum getting treatment and is she making progress ?

I don't think anyone would say you have done anything wrong, but maybe also think about preparing to continue your course for your mother's sake too if it will make her happy and balance the two together ..obviously your mother's health is your main priority right now..it's a sticky one still

But I thought let me give the human touch before all the references and quotes start flooding in. Stay strong you are doing something Godly by staying by your mother's side !

Yes she is getting treated. I would think later but it is very far frm my hometown. 

I don't why God put  in such. bad situation. 

I get angry on God.. He hates me I think.. All bad people enjoy no worries. Why God did this.. Everyone showed their real face in this bad time.. Even father didn't say a word of comfort. He just wants me to leave... He added to my tension... I don't know where to go.. Whom to share with.. I hv no wellwisher.. I am very anxious all time.. It is so hard time.. Don't know why God did this

[Ashvazdanghe]

Salam

 

[Ashvazdanghe]

7 hours ago, minsa said:

All bad people enjoy no worries

Salam

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Ashvazdanghe]

 

 

7 hours ago, minsa said:

Why God did this.. Everyone showed their real face in this bad time.. Even father didn't say a word of comfort. He just wants me to leave... He added to my tension... I don't know where to go.. Whom to share with.. I hv no wellwisher..

 

 

 

[minsa]

Can i get more help here. ? 

How to handle this situation 

 

[In Gods Name]

On 2/6/2024 at 10:03 PM, minsa said:

Yes she is getting treated. I would think later but it is very far frm my hometown. 

I don't why God put  in such. bad situation. 

I get angry on God.. He hates me I think.. All bad people enjoy no worries. Why God did this.. Everyone showed their real face in this bad time.. Even father didn't say a word of comfort. He just wants me to leave... He added to my tension... I don't know where to go.. Whom to share with.. I hv no wellwisher.. I am very anxious all time.. It is so hard time.. Don't know why God did this

Salam,

I can just sense what you're going through must feel so difficult. Not only are you helping and supporting and being a rock to your mum during what is a difficult diagnosis, on top of this, your father seems to be unaccepting of you not moving on in your life. It must also not have been easy pausing your career to support your mum.

So on three grounds, it's been a big change

- Mums diagnosis and supporting her

- Dad not accepting

-Pausing career/education

 

I just want you to know, this is not a bad reflection on you. In order to have the courage to put your mum first and look after her, knowing you have no idea how long she has, takes a lot of courage. 

Is there any idea, if it is not personal what the prognosis is for mum, and if you have sat down with your dad and spoken about this? 

Remember, Allah sometimes tests people he loves and sometimes the test can be your route to eternal bliss. Think of what you will look like in the court of Allah having made such a sacrifice for your mother?

But at the same time, this is a short term plan, long term you need to think about yourself too - marriage, career, and not leaving it too late. But for now, let's see inshaAllah.

 

I advise you to watch this video - it was a Surah revealed to the Prophet saw when he was sad, and felt uncertain about the future:

 

[In Gods Name]

On 2/6/2024 at 2:51 PM, minsa said:

• Day by day I get hopeless.. Plz help me.. 

Sister, if you're struggling, if you desperately need to talk to someone, there is a organisation that deals with people going through trials and calamities: 

https://naseeha.org

It is international, and you can request a woman only.

[Hameedeh]

Quote

organisation that deals with people going through trials and calamities: 

https://naseeha.org

Salam. That link goes to the Canada website. Since I live in the US, when I clicked on the link a message at the top of the page asked if I wanted to go to the US website. The 866 phone number is free in the US and Canada. Calls from other countries might not go through  or you would be billed standard international long-distance rates.