Grasp on my faith is fading, will vasectomy solve it.

[Guest Disobeying servant]

Salam, 

I'm a 30 year old man, unmarried. Not sure if I will marry though. I got a chance but I rejected it because I don't believe in arranged marriage, I believe if I don't love her I will not be full filling all my duties toward her. Even though I will be married but I will be empty inside, I have seen a lot of married man talking and looking with lust at other women . My IMAN will still incomplete And there might come a time that I do fall in love someone. Someone else shouldn't suffer in my account. It's been more than 15 years since my adulthood. And so far I'm virgin. I'm proud of that, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) helped me ofcourse. Otherwise temptation would have gotten the better of me. Looks or personality is not my problem, but I have always been a deep thinker and saw things more factually. For a decade after my adulthood I didn't pray because I couldn't understand the philosophy behind it. Because most of the mullas were saying mixed up things and my inside voice was telling me otherwise. I did a bit if my own study And I turned to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and I was bestowed with bounties beyond my expectations. To the point that I witnessed miracles. Literally. So now I pray kazah after every namaz to make up for that. 

This was last year, I have came abroad in search of a job, I am an engineer. It won't be long that I get a decent job but this is what I'm struggling with.,

My testosterone levels are quite high from the start and I have been indulging in sin because of that. But that didn't stoped me for wajibat. All my prayers were on time and I got to mosque almost everyday 2-3 time. Sometimes I pray fajar without mosque.

But now its getting worse day by day. To the point that it is coming in the way of my wajibat. My namaz is getting kaza once again and now it's different because at first I didn't knew the thing that I know now. A blind and a a person with aight cannot be the same. And so will be there judgement. I believe if that wasn't a part of me I would become a better muslim, hopefully a momin.

Every single time that I indulge in sin my soul is getting blacken because of that and my nufs scold me for that but I just can't stop. So I am thinking about vasectomy. I cannot do this anymore. I have to get rid of this. I don't see any other way. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is Raheem and Kareem. Surely I will be forgiven for such act. 

This is something I want to get out of my chest. 

[Haji 2003]

16 minutes ago, Guest Disobeying servant said:

I'm a 30 year old man, unmarried. Not sure if I will marry though. I got a chance but I rejected it because I don't believe in arranged marriage, I believe if I don't love her I will not be full filling all my duties toward her.

You start from this debatable point and build a whole edifice of questionable beliefs and behaviours on top of it. You might want to examine that starting point more rigorously.

[Ashvazdanghe]

5 hours ago, Guest Disobeying servant said:

So I am thinking about vasectomy. I cannot do this anymore. I have to get rid of this. I don't see any other way. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is Raheem and Kareem. Surely I will be forgiven for such act.

Salam doing it is a sin if you do it based on your thought  which Allah won't forgive you for doing intentional serious haram to yourself which  you have said that you have witnessed a miracles so therefore you must be sure that Allah will put a way for you to go out your current despair which try your best to pray on time your obligatory  prayers & keep your chastity  but don't cause too much borden on yourself inshaAllah Allah put a way out  for you from current situation.

Quote

2. Youths who cannot afford the requirements of marriage are recommended to fast because it would then hinder and restrain their sexual desires. In this connection, the Holy Prophet (S) is reported to have said: Whoever can afford marriage expenses should marry, but whoever cannot, should observe fasting because fasting is a restraint for him.
He (S) is also reported to have said to ‘Uthman ibn Maz’un who suggested castration: Do not do it. The castration of my people is fasting.

http://www.imamreza.net/old/eng/imamreza.php?id=13383

[Ashvazdanghe]

Sunni viewpoiny

Quote

وَعَنْ سَعْدِ بْنِ أَبِي وَقَّاصٍ قَالَ: رَدَّ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ عَلَى عُثْمَان ابْن مَظْعُونٍ التَّبَتُّلَ وَلَوْ أَذِنَ لَهُ لَاخْتَصَيْنَا

Sa'd b. Abu Waqqas said: God’s Messenger objected to ‘Uthman b. Maz’un living in celibacy. If he had given him permission we would have had ourselves castrated.
(Bukhari and Muslim.)

Mishkat al-Masabih 3081
https://sunnah.com/mishkat:3081

 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

It's a bit of a drastic measure my friend. I'm not quite sure what you think a vasectomy is, but I'm assuming you think it's the operation that surgically removes your organ?? If so, that's not the case. 

Secondly if you're not for arranged marriage, then you know you're allowed to meet a person yourself. You won't be punished for that? Why don't you find somebody yourself and see if you get on? Everything will be okay, there is nothing wrong with you. Keep up your practices (the spiritual ones) and go find yourself a sweet one that you want to fall in love with if that's what it takes for you to give your all 

(I'D GIVE MY ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL TO HAVE.....) 

[Quran313]

Salaam Alaykum,

Brother forget abou vasectomy and evetything like that. You cannot damage your body.

Instead, search for the wife and try to have your own family. Alhamdulillah, I see honesty and commitment in your words. Try to do your Salah on time. If it got Qada, make it. Try to build up your relationship with Allah. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to make all Qada prays in 1,2 year. Do one day Qada prays everyday. Alhamdulillah you have job now. Look for wife and have your family with kids insha. I make dua.

Edited December 26, 2023 by Quran313

[Ashvazdanghe]

23 hours ago, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Secondly if you're not for arranged marriage, then you know you're allowed to meet a person yourself. You won't be punished for that? Why don't you find somebody yourself and see if you get on? Everything will be okay, there is nothing wrong with you. Keep up your practices (the spiritual ones) and go find yourself a sweet one that you want to fall in love with if that's what it takes for you to give your all 

(I'D GIVE MY ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL TO HAVE.....) 

Hi/Salam this is concept of Mutah in shia Islam though Halal (allowed) procedure.

[Ahmad8888]

Don't mutilate your body like this, once you do vasectomy you have a high chance of it being irreversible, meaning you wont have children ever again, it does not change testosterone levels and is also haram.

As for castration, which is removing the organs completely, that is also haram, if you do castration your life will be ruined in so many ways.  

Edited December 27, 2023 by HusseinAbbas

[SO SOLID SHIA]

21 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Hi/Salam this is concept of Mutah in shia Islam though Halal (allowed) procedure.

Alaykum Salam Buddy 

I don't think you have to do mutah with every female you speak with even if it's to get to know for marriage?? Is that what you mean brother? 

I thought people found loopholes like 'As long as her brother is sitting 4 tables away in Starbucks it's halal to get to know her' 

[Ashvazdanghe]

1 hour ago, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Alaykum Salam Buddy 

I don't think you have to do mutah with every female you speak with even if it's to get to know for marriage?? Is that what you mean brother? 

I thought people found loopholes like 'As long as her brother is sitting 4 tables away in Starbucks it's halal to get to know her' 

Salam it's only applicable for too short meetings for basic knowing of each other to break the Ice  & get to know each other  that they want to continue their relationship to next level with most minimum contact utmost for 2 or 3 times but on the other hand if they have found out some positive  attraction toward each other so then they must do Mutah during fiance period in period before permanent marriage . 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

Wsalam 

How short is a short meeting? Isn't it all relative? Doesn't it say in the Holy Quran that a day to God is 50,000 years? 

In my opinion a short meeting is about 3 hours.. Maybe 5 if you're having shisha 

And Allah is All wise All Knowing. 

 

 

 

[Ashvazdanghe]

28 minutes ago, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Doesn't it say in the Holy Quran that a day to God is 50,000 years? 

In my opinion a short meeting is about 3 hours.. Maybe 5 if you're having shisha 

And Allah is All wise All Knowing. 

lol you are comparing apples with oranges which don't mix two totally different matters which our too short & limited time in dailylife is completely crystal clear fact which Shia Islam only allows seeing hair & general shape of body in  first meeting by presence of members of two sides  in order to  make sure that a woman has not a deformation or baldness that causes disappointing & discomfort & felling of regret or being victim of fraud  after marriage for a man in presence of other members of two sides which these type of so called Shisha meeting  is due to influencing by western culture that has no basis in Shia Islamic culture although families allow it under guis of further investigation & becoming sure about selecting spouse. 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

18 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

you are comparing apples with oranges

Biradarrr A salam alaykum. 

In the name of Allaah , we as a people of reflection must now demonstrate that there are more similarities between apples and oranges as there are with all human beings from different tribes and nations.

Both apples and oranges first and foremost come under the category of 'FRUITS' can I get an AMEN.

Both these fruits are....round.

Both these fruits are juicy. 

They both contain seeds. These seeds can be planted into the soil and will grow into trees. These....trees, grow tall...and...STRONG. They...

start bearing FRUIT . Apples and oranges, BOTH grow on trees

“With it He causes to grow for you the crops, the olives, the date-palms, the grapes, and every kind of fruit. Verily! In this is indeed an evident proof and a manifest sign for people who give thought.” [Quran 16:11]

now I'm not done yet, BOTH fruits are excellent sources for essential vitamins and minerals , both including VITAMIN C.

They both have HIGH water content contributing to hydration when consumed.

They can both be stored for long periods, especially when stored in cool, dry places.

I can keep going brother if you would like me to In Sha'Allah ? 

I think you focussed too much on the Zahir my friend. Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq ((عليه السلام)) says:

 “The Book of God has four things: literal expression (‘ibāra), allusion (ishāra), subtleties (laṭā’if), and deepest realities (ḥaqā’iq). The literal expression is for the common folk (‘awāmm), the allusion is for the elite (khawāṣṣ), the subtleties are for the friends of God (awliyā’), and the deepest realities are for the prophets (anbiyā’).

 

19 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

which don't mix

Actually my friend, Apples and oranges are frequently juiced and MIXED together to make fruit juices. You must have drank this juice! 

 

19 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Shia Islam only allows seeing hair & general shape of body in  first meeting by presence of members of two sides

This sounds really difficult to do. How do I go about requesting to see the hair and general shape of the body in the first meeting? I'm not trying to be funny, but it sounds a bit autistic to request something like that. Not insinuating autism is a bad thing as I probably am autistic myself (self diagnosed via online test 2 out of 6 surveys proved positive) But you must be some kind of Casanova to be able to get those results in the first meeting.! I can't even get a 'walaykum as salam' in a text message let alone meeting a woman and seeing her hair and general shape of body in the first meeting and having PRESENCE OF MEMBERS OF BOTH SIDES THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Teach us how its done man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

19 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

to  make sure that a woman has not a deformation or baldness

I have seen a lot of women who go with the bald look and personally I think it is very attractive. If I am able to convince her to take her hijab off in the first meeting with family members present and I see she is bald...this would just be a win win situation for me. What do you think brother? Do you know any bald attractive females? What if it's a hidden deformation ,like a mind sickness ? Do her family members still need to be present? 

 

19 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

so called Shisha meeting  is due to influencing by western culture

"The hookah or waterpipe was invented by Abul-Fath Gilani, a Persian physician of Akbar, in the Indian city of Fatehpur Sikri during Mughal India;^[9][14][15] the hookah spread from the Indian subcontinent to Persia first where the mechanism was modified to its current shape and then to the Near East.^[16] Alternatively, it could have originated in the Safavid dynasty of Persia,^[9][17][18] from where it eventually spread to the Indian subcontinent."

Brother, it says PERSIAN! wait shisha is a PERSIAN invention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These bloody westerners doing cultural appropriation again. I can't believe it, but may Allah reward you for all the couples who ended up being married after several shisha meetings because if it wasn't for PERSIA, they wouldn't have been sitting in the west smoking shisha and then being married Alhamdulillah for everything!!!!!!!! 

Please make dua for me brother to be removed from this western culture as I would like to make Hijra to North Korea, where I'll better be able to implement all these laws in my day to day life! 

May the Most High Allah grant you and your family good health always, may any hardships or difficulties be lifted away from you and may you all be successful, happy and at peace InShaAllah!!!! 

bless up 

 

 

[Gaius I. Caesar]

On 12/25/2023 at 6:19 PM, Guest Disobeying servant said:

Salam, 

I'm a 30 year old man, unmarried. Not sure if I will marry though. I got a chance but I rejected it because I don't believe in arranged marriage, I believe if I don't love her I will not be full filling all my duties toward her. Even though I will be married but I will be empty inside, I have seen a lot of married man talking and looking with lust at other women . My IMAN will still incomplete And there might come a time that I do fall in love someone. Someone else shouldn't suffer in my account. It's been more than 15 years since my adulthood. And so far I'm virgin. I'm proud of that, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) helped me ofcourse. Otherwise temptation would have gotten the better of me. Looks or personality is not my problem, but I have always been a deep thinker and saw things more factually. For a decade after my adulthood I didn't pray because I couldn't understand the philosophy behind it. Because most of the mullas were saying mixed up things and my inside voice was telling me otherwise. I did a bit if my own study And I turned to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and I was bestowed with bounties beyond my expectations. To the point that I witnessed miracles. Literally. So now I pray kazah after every namaz to make up for that. 

This was last year, I have came abroad in search of a job, I am an engineer. It won't be long that I get a decent job but this is what I'm struggling with.,

My testosterone levels are quite high from the start and I have been indulging in sin because of that. But that didn't stoped me for wajibat. All my prayers were on time and I got to mosque almost everyday 2-3 time. Sometimes I pray fajar without mosque.

But now its getting worse day by day. To the point that it is coming in the way of my wajibat. My namaz is getting kaza once again and now it's different because at first I didn't knew the thing that I know now. A blind and a a person with aight cannot be the same. And so will be there judgement. I believe if that wasn't a part of me I would become a better muslim, hopefully a momin.

Every single time that I indulge in sin my soul is getting blacken because of that and my nufs scold me for that but I just can't stop. So I am thinking about vasectomy. I cannot do this anymore. I have to get rid of this. I don't see any other way. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is Raheem and Kareem. Surely I will be forgiven for such act. 

This is something I want to get out of my chest. 

A vasectomy will not prevent a man from the habit of masturbating, please reconsider this decision. I would advise that you consider mutah, it is not as a big of a commitment as a nikah and it is halal. Also, you do not have to marry anyone you do not wish to marry, that is your right, as I understand it.

[Abu Hadi]

On 12/25/2023 at 6:19 PM, Guest Disobeying servant said:

Salam, 

I'm a 30 year old man, unmarried. Not sure if I will marry though. I got a chance but I rejected it because I don't believe in arranged marriage, I believe if I don't love her I will not be full filling all my duties toward her. Even though I will be married but I will be empty inside, I have seen a lot of married man talking and looking with lust at other women . My IMAN will still incomplete And there might come a time that I do fall in love someone. Someone else shouldn't suffer in my account. It's been more than 15 years since my adulthood. And so far I'm virgin. I'm proud of that, Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) helped me ofcourse. Otherwise temptation would have gotten the better of me. Looks or personality is not my problem, but I have always been a deep thinker and saw things more factually. For a decade after my adulthood I didn't pray because I couldn't understand the philosophy behind it. Because most of the mullas were saying mixed up things and my inside voice was telling me otherwise. I did a bit if my own study And I turned to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and I was bestowed with bounties beyond my expectations. To the point that I witnessed miracles. Literally. So now I pray kazah after every namaz to make up for that. 

This was last year, I have came abroad in search of a job, I am an engineer. It won't be long that I get a decent job but this is what I'm struggling with.,

My testosterone levels are quite high from the start and I have been indulging in sin because of that. But that didn't stoped me for wajibat. All my prayers were on time and I got to mosque almost everyday 2-3 time. Sometimes I pray fajar without mosque.

But now its getting worse day by day. To the point that it is coming in the way of my wajibat. My namaz is getting kaza once again and now it's different because at first I didn't knew the thing that I know now. A blind and a a person with aight cannot be the same. And so will be there judgement. I believe if that wasn't a part of me I would become a better muslim, hopefully a momin.

Every single time that I indulge in sin my soul is getting blacken because of that and my nufs scold me for that but I just can't stop. So I am thinking about vasectomy. I cannot do this anymore. I have to get rid of this. I don't see any other way. Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is Raheem and Kareem. Surely I will be forgiven for such act. 

This is something I want to get out of my chest. 

Salam. Please read up on what a vasectomy actually does. It prevents you from having children. It does not prevent u from lust / getting aroused. 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

I have a south Indian friend called Vasekh Anthony. 

We call him Vasekh Tony for short. 

[Ashvazdanghe]

54 minutes ago, SO SOLID SHIA said:

I have a south Indian friend called Vasekh Anthony. 

We call him Vasekh Tony for short. 

Hi/salam this is too racist & insulting manner through abusive words which has no relation to thread likewise rest of your vulgar words .

On 12/29/2023 at 6:31 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Actually my friend, Apples and oranges are frequently juiced and MIXED together to make fruit juices. You must have drank this juice! 

It's a famous idiom when some people create a ton of nonsense from non related matters likewise your words about apple & orange which nobody even mine has no problem with this juice even I like it .

On 12/29/2023 at 6:31 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

This sounds really difficult to do. How do I go about requesting to see the hair and general shape of the body in the first meeting? I'm not trying to be funny, but it sounds a bit autistic to request something like that. Not insinuating autism is a bad thing as I probably am autistic myself (self diagnosed via online test 2 out of 6 surveys proved positive) But you must be some kind of Casanova to be able to get those results in the first meeting.! I can't even get a 'walaykum as salam' in a text message let alone meeting a woman and seeing her hair and general shape of body in the first meeting and having PRESENCE OF MEMBERS OF BOTH SIDES THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Teach us how its done man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You try to make joke from everything which you can't understand which there is many ways to examine it which for example a trustworthy woman from man side can see it so then reports it to man also just one looking it without lust in first meeting by man while woman has normal dress over her covered body with decent cloth has no problem according to shia Islam because it's a serious matter for whole of life both sides .

online results have no point in recognizing such mental issues anyway any normal person can recognize general shape & status of hair of other side in one meeting .

On 12/29/2023 at 6:31 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

I have seen a lot of women who go with the bald look and personally I think it is very attractive. If I am able to convince her to take her hijab off in the first meeting with family members present and I see she is bald...this would just be a win win situation for me. What do you think brother? Do you know any bald attractive females? What if it's a hidden deformation ,like a mind sickness ? Do her family members still need to be present? 

I have talked about baldness due to illness not baldness as a fashion which you can have any test in fashion which both sides must be honest about a hidden deformation ,like a mind sickness which if any side has hided it so then other side can ask for immediate divorce .

On 12/29/2023 at 6:31 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

"The hookah or waterpipe was invented by Abul-Fath Gilani, a Persian physician of Akbar, i

I have talked about modern type meeting not history of creating of Hookah or Shisha which your post is totally offtopic 

 

On 12/29/2023 at 6:31 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

but may Allah reward you for all the couples who ended up being married after several shisha meetings because if it wasn't for PERSIA, they wouldn't have been sitting in the west smoking shisha and then being married Alhamdulillah for everything!!!!!!!! 

This is another nonsense from you which you just try to make fun from an important issue by making aton of nonsense anyway Allah reward you for causing laughing of others .

On 12/29/2023 at 6:31 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

Please make dua for me brother to be removed from this western culture as I would like to make Hijra to North Korea, where I'll better be able to implement all these laws in my day to day life! 

I make dua that you receive some wisdom & knowledge which even will help you in north Korea which without wisdom & knowledge it doesn't matter where you will migrate because you will make tons of  nonsense without wisdom & knowledge in any place . 

On 12/29/2023 at 6:31 AM, SO SOLID SHIA said:

May the Most High Allah grant you and your family good health always, may any hardships or difficulties be lifted away from you and may you all be successful, happy and at peace InShaAllah!!!! 

bless up 

I pray it for both of you & your family too which also Allah grant you more knowledge & wisdom inshaAllah . 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

As Salam alaykum beloved. 

I'll be honest, I didn't read that but I'm sure there was a lot to learn from it InshaAllah. (I will later on today) 

I genuinely hope you have a wonderful day Sun 

(I call my brother Sun, Cuz he Shine like one) 

With abundant good vibes from my side and no passive aggressiveness InshaAllah! 

Take care beloved 

Edited December 30, 2023 by SO SOLID SHIA

[Abu Hadi]

5 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Hi/salam this is too racist & insulting manner through abusive words which has no relation to thread likewise rest of your vulgar words .

It's a famous idiom when some people create a ton of nonsense from non related matters likewise your words about apple & orange which nobody even mine has no problem with this juice even I like it .

You try to make joke from everything which you can't understand which there is many ways to examine it which for example a trustworthy woman from man side can see it so then reports it to man also just one looking it without lust in first meeting by man while woman has normal dress over her covered body with decent cloth has no problem according to shia Islam because it's a serious matter for whole of life both sides .

online results have no point in recognizing such mental issues anyway any normal person can recognize general shape & status of hair of other side in one meeting .

I have talked about baldness due to illness not baldness as a fashion which you can have any test in fashion which both sides must be honest about a hidden deformation ,like a mind sickness which if any side has hided it so then other side can ask for immediate divorce .

I have talked about modern type meeting not history of creating of Hookah or Shisha which your post is totally offtopic 

 

This is another nonsense from you which you just try to make fun from an important issue by making aton of nonsense anyway Allah reward you for causing laughing of others .

I make dua that you receive some wisdom & knowledge which even will help you in north Korea which without wisdom & knowledge it doesn't matter where you will migrate because you will make tons of  nonsense without wisdom & knowledge in any place . 

I pray it for both of you & your family too which also Allah grant you more knowledge & wisdom inshaAllah . 

Salam Brother. I think he's just trying to make a joke. Maybe you don't understand his sense of humor. I don't think it's racist. 

[SO SOLID SHIA]

On 12/30/2023 at 11:56 AM, Abu Hadi said:

Salam Brother. I think he's just trying to make a joke. Maybe you don't understand his sense of humor. I don't think it's racist. 

My Guy! 

@Ashvazdangheright now 

Lol it's all LOVE BROTHER