Wish I Didn't Become Shia...

[In Gods Name]

55 minutes ago, Guest BoredPanda said:

Alright, so I've been looking through the replies to this the past week and I'm wondering if people understand my post.

I didn't become Shia to find a social group, clearly. My own family effectively disowned me for my decision. You don't know my story.

Another thing, I wasn't calling anyone racist. Just like with my own ethnicity, people like to congregate with their own. I've, growing up in America, have developed as a more cosmopolitan person, which I'm realizing isn't the most conducive to my goals to get married and have children. Particularly as I alienate myself from the largest section of Muslims (that being Sunnis).

The way in which people have been misconstruing my post as an accusation of racism against all Shia, when I'm really talking about ethnic diasporas being more inclined toward their own, is a little offensive.

I am fully behind you brother.

I wish one or two of the people who commented at least saw the pain you went through and gave you the benefit of the doubt. 

To those who assumed this dear brothers intentions, i hope this is a lesson you have now learned. 

[AbdusSibtayn]

The hostile posts on this thread have missed the mark completely.

The brother is not saying that he became Shi'a because he wanted to go clubbing daily at his nearby mosque/imambargah and build a harem full of Shi'a wives and concubines. The need for a community is not too much to ask for. There is a reason why the masjid is not the supermarket or the railway station. As a community center there is much more to it than simply being a place where people go to do their business. 

We (reverts) are effectively the mawali of this age. We are pariahs in both worlds- our natal societies and the one which we now inhabit. So many accounts of being discriminated against and given short shrift and your dismissive non-response of 'examine- your- sincerity- why- did- you -even -convert' simply doesn't help. You do not and cannot understand what we go through on a daily basis because you are cushioned by your families and communities. If you cannot solve the brother's problem then please don't make it worse and keep your venom to yourselves. You are only proving his point. 

Edited October 4 by AbdusSibtayn

[iamsunni]

ok

[Cool]

7 hours ago, AbdusSibtayn said:

If you cannot solve the brother's problem then please don't make it worse and keep your venom to yourselves. You are only proving his point. 

Salam Brother!

For the first time, I am opposing your comment.

We are not عالم الغيب here. We can only get the idea of the mind set from what a person writes. And the OP has given me the wrong impression.

On 9/29/2023 at 5:00 AM, Guest BoredPanda said:

That's why I called my rant childish.

Revisit your "childish rant":

On 9/27/2023 at 4:59 AM, Guest BoredPanda said:

Since the pandemic has slowed down and everything has opened up, I've been trying to go to Shia mosques. I'm very welcome, but I feel a little distant from everything given my ethnic background.

Mosques in the West really just serve as ethnic enclaves, and so I always felt inclined to go to mosques run by Somalis or whatever related background. Suddenly I'm entering into ethnic enclaves of other groups, with no way to really ingratiate myself and feel pretty alienated. Also have been on Shia online spaces, and it's kinda wild how racist they can get to blacks. It's fine to joke around, but the intensity of these racial jokes towards people who look like me just makes me feel even more alienated. I've also been told I'm probably not gonna get married within the Shia community given that I'm black, and the Arabs and Desis marry among their own for the most part (which is fine).

I kinda wish to return back to Sunnism, return back to my people.

Wow that was a great rant! Indeed childish to an extent that you deserve some serious response. 

You were welcomed but you observed that mosques in west are ethnic enclaves. You are always inclined to go to the mosques run by Somali's. And then you start expressing your venom against shia online spaces. Then you brought up case of your marriage and finally threatened to go back to "your people". 

Lets switch the places, look at your OP by being a reader who is reading your post. All you can know about the person is the information being provided there.

And when your childish rant being bounced back on you, my brothers start criticizing on me in the words quoted above. 

 

[PureExistence1]

On 9/30/2023 at 6:05 AM, Abu Hadi said:

And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) and He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has set a measure for all thing. 

Surah At Talaq 65:2-3

As salaamun aleikum @Guest BoredPanda,

I just wanted to mention that there is a brief amaal that was passed down to Imam Khomeini(رضي الله عنه) from one of his spiritual mentors that includes these ayah at the end. It is said it can "move mountains" so may be worth implementing into your life for help in all circumstances.

It is as follows:

After every wajib salaat:

1) Ayatul Kursi 1x...

2)Tasbih Fatimah Zahra 1x...

3) 3x Surah Iklass...

4)3 Salawaat...

5) Recite: "And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) and He will provide for him from sources he never could imagine. And whoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him. Verily, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Indeed Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) has set a measure for all things. 

Surah At Talaq 65:2-3

 

In sha Allah it helps you in the best way.

[Guest Hussain Ali]

WS.

1) this is very common amongst converts irrespective of race (though being black is going to make it harder)

2) most shia centers are still divided along ethnic boundaries. The ones that aren’t have larger populations and it’s harder to build those same relationships. Diversity levels are prolly less the  5% if that high on average (there are exceptions)

3) Shias have congregations and Sunnis have communities in the USA and Canada.  In the Uk however this is not the case 

4) shias on average tend to not be as welcoming of converts as Sunnis 

These are realities. If you believe it’s right then stick with it, if you need that social circle chill with your Sunni community, if you feel it’s wrong the convert back. 
 

You are in tough place and i won’t say what to do but sometimes you just have to think of the community / centers as transactional. On the day of judgement no one is going to care for us even our mother; so may as well optimize for selfishly for then

[ShiaChat Mod]

On 9/26/2023 at 6:59 PM, Guest BoredPanda said:

I've also been told I'm probably not gonna get married within the Shia community given that I'm black, and the Arabs and Desis marry among their own for the most part (which is fine).

That is a cultural preference, not Islamic. People do what they want according to their family history. I know an Iranian man who married a white revert American woman and so his kids are half Iranian/half American. A white revert sister met his wife in the Islamic Center and mentioned that she is also married to an Iranian man and it would be a great honor if their families could get together and discuss marriage of her son to the sister's daughter, after all, they have so much in common. However, the sister rejected the idea and said that her husband's belief is that their sons and daughters will marry only people from his own village in Iran, who are well known to their family. 

[Hameedeh]

10 hours ago, iamsunni said:

ok

Since this is your first reply, we can approve it. However, please understand that ShiaChat is a discussion board, so a reply with only 1 word is not really sufficient as discussion. 

[In Gods Name]

On 10/5/2023 at 1:34 AM, ShiaChat Mod said:

However, the sister rejected the idea and said that her husband's belief is that their sons and daughters will marry only people from his own village in Iran, who are well known to their family.

I feel sorry for the daughter, if she is not given a say in the matter. 

I will make a generic comment - village mentality is often toxic and brutal on the women. Parents need to recognise kids are not an extension of them but independent human beings.

Their sons and daughters will marry whoever they so damn please, if it is in line with Islam and they are good human beings, as per Shariah.

I do hope kids who make a stand and fight for their rights don't face the usual emotional black mail from parents.

 

[In Gods Name]

On 10/4/2023 at 11:27 PM, Guest Hussain Ali said:

WS.

1) this is very common amongst converts irrespective of race (though being black is going to make it harder)

2) most shia centers are still divided along ethnic boundaries. The ones that aren’t have larger populations and it’s harder to build those same relationships. Diversity levels are prolly less the  5% if that high on average (there are exceptions)

3) Shias have congregations and Sunnis have communities in the USA and Canada.  In the Uk however this is not the case 

4) shias on average tend to not be as welcoming of converts as Sunnis 

These are realities. If you believe it’s right then stick with it, if you need that social circle chill with your Sunni community, if you feel it’s wrong the convert back. 
 

You are in tough place and i won’t say what to do but sometimes you just have to think of the community / centers as transactional. On the day of judgement no one is going to care for us even our mother; so may as well optimize for selfishly for then

100% facts.

You can't even bring a friend to some mosques to introduce them to Islam. At a certain point, you will get people taking chains and really going for it / self flagellating in a bad way, in rows in the Masjid itself. Blood is sometimes drawn and it can become a blood bath. 

This has nothing to do with Shia Islam. 

 

[Ashvazdanghe]

1 hour ago, In Gods Name said:

You can't even bring a friend to some mosques to introduce them to Islam. At a certain point, you will get people taking chains and really going for it / self flagellating in a bad way, in rows in the Masjid itself. Blood is sometimes drawn and it can become a blood bath.

Salam you can't find such bizzare thing in any Shia mosque also it's only has been limited to some so called Hussaynia of Shirazi grouplet which your accusations just are based on spread it by wahbi channels which as usual you just rely on their misinformation & propaganda against Shia Islam.

[In Gods Name]

7 hours ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam you can't find such bizzare thing in any Shia mosque also it's only has been limited to some so called Hussaynia of Shirazi grouplet which your accusations just are based on spread it by wahbi channels which as usual you just rely on their misinformation & propaganda against Shia Islam.

People standing and doing this rap beat in Iranian , while taking shirts off, forming rows and violently hitting their chests and jumping up and down to this very modern sounding beat-boxing style when i was abroad at an Iranian center. 

[Ashvazdanghe]

15 hours ago, In Gods Name said:

People standing and doing this rap beat in Iranian , while taking shirts off, forming rows and violently hitting their chests and jumping up and down to this very modern sounding beat-boxing style when i was abroad at an Iranian center.

This is available in youtube also it proves your lying because all black shias refrain from going such places which belongs to Shirazi grouplet which your  just refer to some videos from their fans . 

[In Gods Name]

3 minutes ago, Ashvazdanghe said:

This is available in youtube also it proves your lying because all black shias refrain from going such places which belongs to Shirazi grouplet which your  just refer to some videos from their fans . 

This has to be a joke.

Balck Shias refrain from going to mosque with followers of Shirazi? Shirazis might be extreme but they are not Nazis. Nauzubillah.

Black Shias can attend any shia mosque they want, and visit any mosque they want. If the aim is to get closer to Allah.

[Ashvazdanghe]

19 minutes ago, In Gods Name said:

Shirazis might be extreme but they are not Nazis.

At first They don't do such bizarre acts in any mosque which it proves your betalant lying .

secondly  They oppose anyone who follows imam khamenei & sheikh Zakzaki who is a famous follower of Imam Khamenei from Nigeria  which majority of black shias are followers of them which shirazi grouplet has great enmity with both of them & their followers it's second proof about your ignorance & lying .

which Shirazi grouplet doesn't let any of followers them enter to their so called Hussaynias which there is no shia convert between followers of Shirazi grouplet due to racism in this grouplet . 

[Hameedeh]

On 9/28/2023 at 7:00 PM, Guest BoredPanda said:

I don't plan to leave Shi'ism obviously. That's why I called my rant childish. 

Alhamdulillah. 

The OP has left the topic, not the belief.