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In the Name of God بسم الله

Lying in marriage

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That's a tricky one.

Telling the truth would certainly cause pain and a spouse should protect their partner from pain. 

But concealing the truth could potentially cause much more damage later if it becomes known.

And there is always risk of STI or pregnancy when a person commits adultery.

 

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Posted (edited)

That is beyond hypocritical for the same person that cheated and broke the trust and bond of their partner, meaning they do not truly care about their feelings nor respect them thus destroyed their own marriage in notonly having a secret relationship but also sleeping with them, but now wants to lie to "save" a soul bound contract that no longer exists... especially someone that claims to be a muslim. What I suggest is telling the truth and letting your own husband decide and owning up to your grave sinful act... and as what the sister says above there are also major health risks possible as well...

Edited by Ethics
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Speaking purely on paper........you are not supposed to reveal your sins to anyone...we are not catholic. However, if He/She asks you, you can not lie. The only time lying is even remotely valid is if your life or someones life is in danger and only way to save that given life is by lying. 

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On 5/29/2023 at 1:24 AM, notme said:

That's a tricky one.

Telling the truth would certainly cause pain and a spouse should protect their partner from pain. 

But concealing the truth could potentially cause much more damage later if it becomes known.

And there is always risk of STI or pregnancy when a person commits adultery.

 

What if the adultery was way in the past and no pregnancy or STD's happened? And I asked god to forgive me, should i still tell the truth or should i lie? 

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On 5/29/2023 at 1:28 AM, Ethics said:

That is beyond hypocritical for the same person that cheated and broke the trust and bond of their partner, meaning they do not truly care about their feelings nor respect them thus destroyed their own marriage in notonly having a secret relationship but also sleeping with them, but now wants to lie to "save" a soul bound contract that no longer exists... especially someone that claims to be a muslim. What I suggest is telling the truth and letting your own husband decide and owning up to your grave sinful act... and as what the sister says above there are also major health risks possible as well...

The adultery was done before marriage. Way before marriage. 

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On 5/30/2023 at 6:26 AM, pending change said:

should i still tell the truth or should i lie?

No.  

You do not have to reveal your sins but also you do not lie to your spouse.  He should know better than to ask about things that happened before marriage.  If he asks, you have to tell.  He would be an idiot to ask, but that shouldn't make you a liar. 

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On 5/28/2023 at 11:00 AM, pending change said:

 

So, I was wondering to save a marriage, can a woman lie about adultery? Because it may cause a divorce. So can a woman lie at that point? 

 

I would say that you shouldn’t lie. You need to be honest. 

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On 5/30/2023 at 1:26 PM, pending change said:

What if the adultery was way in the past and no pregnancy or STD's happened? And I asked god to forgive me, should i still tell the truth or should i lie? 

You don't need to tell your past sins and you should seek forgiveness and repentance from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and protection that this this will not happen while in marriage.

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On 5/30/2023 at 3:27 AM, pending change said:

The adultery was done before marriage. Way before marriage. 

Why do you want to bring it up? You repented and telling it may end up with divorce. Your husband has positive mindset about you. I think there's no need to tell him that. It was between you and Allah. Repent and forget it. In my opinion

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It’s easy.. 

When that person committed Haram, her Imam (عليه السلام) was sad. 
 

When she repented and married a momin spouse, her Imam (عليه السلام) was glad.  

 

Now if she tells the truth to her husband, the marriage may break or at least get strained. A broken marriage is the most detestable halal action in the eyes of Allah, and it would surely make her Imam (عليه السلام) sad. 
A momin couple, even being together but mad at each other would also make their Imam (عليه السلام) sad. 
 

What do you want your Imam (عليه السلام) to be, sad or happy? 

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On 6/2/2023 at 1:44 AM, Irfani313 said:

It’s easy.. 

When that person committed Haram, her Imam (عليه السلام) was sad. 
 

When she repented and married a momin spouse, her Imam (عليه السلام) was glad.  

 

Now if she tells the truth to her husband, the marriage may break or at least get strained. A broken marriage is the most detestable halal action in the eyes of Allah, and it would surely make her Imam (عليه السلام) sad. 
A momin couple, even being together but mad at each other would also make their Imam (عليه السلام) sad. 
 

What do you want your Imam (عليه السلام) to be, sad or happy? 

I want our imam to be happy obviously. 

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17 hours ago, pending change said:

I want our imam to be happy obviously. 

Alhamdolillah you got your clarity. Save your marriage by all means necessary (don’t ever bring your past sins, even if you have to never state the facts), and raise a Shia Momin household. Nothing makes your Imam happy than that. The process of being a good momina wife and a mother will become your Wasila for your forgiveness from all sins big or small InshAllah. 

 

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On 5/31/2023 at 4:54 PM, Quran313 said:

Why do you want to bring it up? You repented and telling it may end up with divorce. Your husband has positive mindset about you. I think there's no need to tell him that. It was between you and Allah. Repent and forget it. In my opinion

I made this comment. I really don't know what to do in this situation. I don't want to say something which is not right. 

Maybe my comment isn't right. Please consult with ecperienced counselors. I hope it get's resolved.

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On 5/30/2023 at 6:27 AM, pending change said:

The adultery was done before marriage. Way before marriage. 

I see sister. I thought you meant that you committed adultery while you are currently married. If it was done in the past and it does not have to do with your current husband, I think it depends on you and him whether you want to tell the truth or not. As in if he is open with you about his past and his sins, maybe you should too.  But ultimately, I suggest doing your best to seek forgiveness from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and do your utmost best to have the most God conscious marriage you can and to stay away from such grave sinful actions.

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