Help please

[Guest Women in need of advice]

I dont know how to say this. posting on a guest account for obvious reasons though. This is so hard to explain and write because what im feeling cannot be put in words. I need advice I know that this is morally and Islamiclly wrong but i have cut myself in the past (6 mnths ago i started, and it continued for about a month) and have attempted to commit suicide. (due to sexual assault but thats another story) I do not have these thoughts anymore (alhamdulilah, thanks to prayer and dua) but I still need advice on how to ensure that I will not try to kill myself again, and that I am safe from myself, and at least happy. Because I cannot remember the last time i was truly, truly happy.

jazakum Allah Khayran.

[Haji 2003]

You may find the following helpful

 

United States

https://www.cdc.gov/suicide/index.html

 

UK

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/behaviours/help-for-suicidal-thoughts/

 

Canada

https://talksuicide.ca

[Hameedeh]

21 hours ago, Guest Women in need of advice said:

I dont know how to say this. posting on a guest account for obvious reasons though. This is so hard to explain and write because what im feeling cannot be put in words. I need advice I know that this is morally and Islamiclly wrong but i have cut myself in the past (6 mnths ago i started, and it continued for about a month) and have attempted to commit suicide. (due to sexual assault but thats another story) I do not have these thoughts anymore (alhamdulilah, thanks to prayer and dua) but I still need advice on how to ensure that I will not try to kill myself again, and that I am safe from myself, and at least happy. Because I cannot remember the last time i was truly, truly happy.

jazakum Allah Khayran.

Salam. In addition to what Brother @Haji 2003 said above, there are other countries that have hotlines to call them if you or someone you know is struggling with negative thoughts, wanting to harm themselves. See this topic:

https://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235052634-struggling-mentally-with-negative-thoughts/

 

[Borntowitnesstruth]

On 5/19/2023 at 6:48 PM, Guest Women in need of advice said:

I dont know how to say this. posting on a guest account for obvious reasons though. This is so hard to explain and write because what im feeling cannot be put in words. I need advice I know that this is morally and Islamiclly wrong but i have cut myself in the past (6 mnths ago i started, and it continued for about a month) and have attempted to commit suicide. (due to sexual assault but thats another story) I do not have these thoughts anymore (alhamdulilah, thanks to prayer and dua) but I still need advice on how to ensure that I will not try to kill myself again, and that I am safe from myself, and at least happy. Because I cannot remember the last time i was truly, truly happy.

jazakum Allah Khayran.

Dear sister, if you are getting too much thoughts then it is better to see a psychiatrist, a good one. Because they can give you medication for controlling wrongful thoughts and when you get better, he will reduce such medication slowly and gradually. In the meantime, you also need to discipline yourself such as to avoid watching those things which refreshes those wrongful thoughts which may include avoiding such movies, dramas or social content which may refresh those wrongful thoughts. I pray that Allah (عزّ وجلّ) grant you health and huge life. 

May Allah (عزّ وجلّ) bless you sister.

[Guest Window]

Please see a therapist if you honestly are thinking about killing yourself. 

[Abu Hadi]

On 5/19/2023 at 9:48 AM, Guest Women in need of advice said:

I dont know how to say this. posting on a guest account for obvious reasons though. This is so hard to explain and write because what im feeling cannot be put in words. I need advice I know that this is morally and Islamiclly wrong but i have cut myself in the past (6 mnths ago i started, and it continued for about a month) and have attempted to commit suicide. (due to sexual assault but thats another story) I do not have these thoughts anymore (alhamdulilah, thanks to prayer and dua) but I still need advice on how to ensure that I will not try to kill myself again, and that I am safe from myself, and at least happy. Because I cannot remember the last time i was truly, truly happy.

jazakum Allah Khayran.

Salam Alekum sister. 
 

First you need to realize that the assault was not your fault. You cannot punish yourself for that. If you do that, you're doing thulm (injustice) to yourself. Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) hates injustice, whether it is someone doing it to themselves or someone doing it to other people. So please stop doing that to yourself. 

The mercy (rahma) of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) surrounds everything in existence. The only way this mercy doesn't reach someone is if they are deliberately blocking it by doing injustice. Once you stop doing this, you will feel the mercy of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) surround you from all sides, and you will no longer want to do this. This is the ultimate goal, but in order to get to that point, you might need some extra help in the short term. As others have said, if this is an urgent issue, and you need help immediately, please reach out to someone. They best would be a licensed therapist who is also muslim/a. If this is not available to you, then a non muslim one but one that at least believes in God, i.e. Ahl Al Kitab. If this is not available then a trusted friend or family member. If even this is not available, then feel free to PM me or one of the mods on SC and we will do what we can to help you. 

[Guest the same guest]

On 5/24/2023 at 12:36 PM, Abu Hadi said:

then feel free to PM me

I cried reading this. Reading everyone's help and support, I should have checked if anyone replied earlier. Thank you so much. 

No, I dont have anyone to talk to. 

This is my first time on this chat site and I honestly only came here to let someone know and seek help, So I dont know how to PM.

 

Thank you all

My allah bless each and every one of you.

(PS, this is extremely urgent (because the cutting happened again) so I hope you could reply as soon as possible)

jazakum Allah,

Wassalam

[Guest316]

Its me. The same person that started the original thread. Honestly. Ive been through hell it feels like, but I keep punishing myself. And everyday I look at the scars, figuring out whats wrong with myself. Please dont recommend a therapist or psychiatrist or any of that sort, because that is what started the entire thing. I need desperate advice.

[Ashvazdanghe]

On 5/26/2023 at 2:17 PM, Guest316 said:

I need desperate advice.

Salam PM @Abu Hadi immediately.