Culture

[NormaL_UseR]

Salam Alaikum, I’m broaching this subject because I’m a child of diaspora. In my youth even in my adulthood I struggled with identity . When in madrasah / mosque  I had to adopt a certain identity related to culture . When at school I had another identity . When interacting in society yet another identity . As I looked around and experienced more I saw for example a mosque / madrasah I had to adopt a certain culturo-religio identity to ‘fit in’ with the crowd . Similarly that same identity was incompatible with my interaction with society . 
 

I also found that I personally found that I increasingly didn’t want to be an ‘actor’. I saw flaws in identifying with culture. I was told that one had to preserve cultural identity and language but increasingly I grew alien to culture . Whilst of course one shouldn’t burn bridges with culture there are glaring negative aspects to cultural identity I’ll give a few . 
 

whilst residing in Birmingham I worked in deprived areas. I saw a Muslim community in which tribalism was a big part of their identity - girls were sent to Pakistan to marry their cousins sometimes without consent, families wouldn’t allow their children to marry outside their village or caste . Families would treat their daughter in laws like prisoners - unable to leave the house , having no other role than being a home maker . 
 

at the same time in richer communities (no names mentioned) I saw a culture of inherent tribalism - you had to act a certain way, speak a certain language to fit in , their was an unspeakan yet well established cultural code of conduct - there was an unspoken hierarchy of people - tribalism / castes still existed these was based on family and economic (wealth/status). Yes ‘outsiders’  were allowed in but would be just that ‘outsiders’ forever knocking at the door to fit in . 
 

Im afraid nowadays I just don’t fit in to any of those, and don’t want to I’m afraid . I’m tired of acting, I’m tired also of the unprogressive nature of ‘cultural’ Islamic centres - with no political , social or spiritual ambitions . You may say the typical ‘well why don’t you do something about it’ .

My ethos now is this :-

There is No God but Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) is the messenger of God 

Ali (عليه السلام) is the rightful successor of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)

I don’t think as a human you will ever leave the stage of acting - pretending we do it all the time but this is the only ethos that drives me now 

 

what are your thoughts on this issue ? 

[Abu_Zahra]

Wa alaikum as salam

Interesting post brother. I believe the issues you identified are among the reasons why several generations of Muslims are struggling with their religion.

It is important to remember that culture is man made while religion is divine.  There is no harm in culture as long as it complies with Islam, and unfortunately many have placed culture much higher to the point that they have been ready to violate religious principles and guidelines in the process.

We will not be asked about our nationality or our language in the grave. Rather our actions and our beliefs will be the most relevant factors. 

I can only encourage myself and everyone else to make Islam their identity, reflect the Quran through their personality and adapt the sunnah of the ma'soomeen (عليه السلام) as their lifestyle. 

Anything that contributes to this is to be encouraged and Anything that contradicts it or resists it is to be rejected.

[hamz786]

As Salamu Alaykum friend,

I've gone through something similar. Noticing how many of us have mixed our culture completely with our religion, and also seem to give more importance to our culture than our faith. Obviously not everyone is in this boat but from my experiences a lot are. I feel the same as you in that I wish to be a Muslim and that's what I fully identify with, and my aim now is to better myself as a Muslim too. Alhamdulilah we have the Sunnat of Rasulullah (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) to guide us with this identity. On the way I'll try to inspire others around me to want the same but that will only work if I better myself, right?

I may have misinterpreted your question, but I hope you know that you aren't alone.

[rkazmi33]

You have explained it so well. In my community also, there are two main Imam bargahs and their crowds fit your description so well. I feel like I have to constantly act, it's exhausting pretending to be someone you are not. I don't even go to Islamic center because it's hard to even pretend while facing judgemental and piercing looks from people there. Why are people constantly watching and judging? Even when I go for grocery, I feel like I am under surveillance. I find more acceptance among people with less wealth, but they follow their culture blindly. They want me to agree to an arranged marriage and they want me to become a house wife. 

Edited December 24, 2022 by rkazmi33

[Cool]

1 hour ago, NormaL_UseR said:

My ethos now is this :-

There is No God but Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) is the messenger of God 

Ali (عليه السلام) is the rightful successor of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)

I don’t think as a human you will ever leave the stage of acting - pretending we do it all the time but this is the only ethos that drives me now 

Salam! 

So you are adopting the "Islamic culture". I don't  think you need anything else. 

صِبْغَةَ اللّهِ وَمَنْ أَحْسَنُ مِنَ اللّهِ صِبْغَةً وَنَحْنُ لَهُ عَابِدونَ

2:138 [Say: "Our life takes its] hue from God! And who could give a better hue [to life] than God, if we but truly worship Him?"

[AbdusSibtayn]

They say that when the Imam (aj) returns, he will be accused of bringing a new religion. If what you have described above (a lived reality for many of us) is considered, you will realize the truth about this prophecy. 

He will fight against the jahili 'Muslim'-namesakes of this age just as his Grandfather (S) fought with the jahili pagans of his age. 

[NormaL_UseR]

My personal advice is to people effected - be strong, be patient, don’t be afraid to engage with people who behave this way and challenge them, be political - everyone has there own talents if it’s writing then write , art then draw , speaking then speak - and pray and stay strong inshallah . True strength is not necessarily in numbers it’s from Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) ultimately 

[hamz786]

4 hours ago, AbdusSibtayn said:

They say that when the Imam (aj) returns, he will be accused of bringing a new religion. If what you have described above (a lived reality for many of us) is considered, you will realize the truth about this prophecy. 

He will fight against the jahili 'Muslim'-namesakes of this age just as his Grandfather (S) fought with the jahili pagans of his age. 

I have heard about this before and it is one of the many hadiths/sayings that feels me with dread and a sense of hopelessness. If this is how the people will react to what the Imam (عليه السلام) will preach, then how far are we currently from true Islam?

[AbdusSibtayn]

6 hours ago, hamz786 said:

I have heard about this before and it is one of the many hadiths/sayings that feels me with dread and a sense of hopelessness. If this is how the people will react to what the Imam (عليه السلام) will preach, then how far are we currently from true Islam?

Indeed. See how people behaved with his forefathers (ams) and you will realize that this is not a stretch at all. 

[rkazmi33]

I shared original post on Facebook and people at both centers are offended. They all love to talk about amar bil maaroof and nahi anil munkir and criticize others all the time but they cannot hear any criticism. They will never acknowledge their problems and will make no effort to correct their behaviors. 

[Allah Seeker]

On 12/24/2022 at 2:42 PM, NormaL_UseR said:

Salam Alaikum, I’m broaching this subject because I’m a child of diaspora. In my youth even in my adulthood I struggled with identity . When in madrasah / mosque  I had to adopt a certain identity related to culture . When at school I had another identity . When interacting in society yet another identity . As I looked around and experienced more I saw for example a mosque / madrasah I had to adopt a certain culturo-religio identity to ‘fit in’ with the crowd . Similarly that same identity was incompatible with my interaction with society . 
 

I also found that I personally found that I increasingly didn’t want to be an ‘actor’. I saw flaws in identifying with culture. I was told that one had to preserve cultural identity and language but increasingly I grew alien to culture . Whilst of course one shouldn’t burn bridges with culture there are glaring negative aspects to cultural identity I’ll give a few . 
 

whilst residing in Birmingham I worked in deprived areas. I saw a Muslim community in which tribalism was a big part of their identity - girls were sent to Pakistan to marry their cousins sometimes without consent, families wouldn’t allow their children to marry outside their village or caste . Families would treat their daughter in laws like prisoners - unable to leave the house , having no other role than being a home maker . 
 

at the same time in richer communities (no names mentioned) I saw a culture of inherent tribalism - you had to act a certain way, speak a certain language to fit in , their was an unspeakan yet well established cultural code of conduct - there was an unspoken hierarchy of people - tribalism / castes still existed these was based on family and economic (wealth/status). Yes ‘outsiders’  were allowed in but would be just that ‘outsiders’ forever knocking at the door to fit in . 
 

Im afraid nowadays I just don’t fit in to any of those, and don’t want to I’m afraid . I’m tired of acting, I’m tired also of the unprogressive nature of ‘cultural’ Islamic centres - with no political , social or spiritual ambitions . You may say the typical ‘well why don’t you do something about it’ .

My ethos now is this :-

There is No God but Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)

The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) is the messenger of God 

Ali (عليه السلام) is the rightful successor of the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)

I don’t think as a human you will ever leave the stage of acting - pretending we do it all the time but this is the only ethos that drives me now 

 

what are your thoughts on this issue ?

Walaikum Al Salaam,

Now my turn hehe

So first of all, to start with the bottom line:

- take what's good from all the cultures you are exposed to. 

When it comes to human cultures there is the guidance of Allah, thank God we have advice - clear advice - on this matter for us in our beloved Quran ***heart pounding fast***

so what does the Quran say about this? Anybody know? Because you might know something I don't, because the Quran is greater than I can ever grasp fully mentally.

so the verse I'm talking about is the verse that basically says:

"We (Allah) made you into nations in order for you to learn from each other " 

so the idea of different cultures, values, genetics, cuisines, arts, sciences, medicines, fashion, music, literature, religions, history and politics ... Etc. ... it's simply a waseela to God through ilm, knowledge, which then becomes wisdom and blessings.

so embrace the good. Throw away the useless. When you cook you cut vegetables, and sometimes cut an animal, leaving the parts that you don't need. 

another metaphor is for instance reading and eating chicken. We eat the meat and leave the bones. So when we read a book, we don't need to stop, just because there's a part we don't 'like', or need. So rejecting culture should not go beyond throwing the parts you see as not in line with God, while benefiting and adopting, and improving the good parts. Hope that makes sense.

I'm a third culture child myself. I'm born and raised in one place, while my parents come each from a second and third place. Then my father also comes from two places, with different religious sects. So I can relate, as I have at least four very different cultures even genetically in me, and I struggle a lot with the identity issue. The "having roots" and belonging. Feeling a stranger everywhere, yet at home everywhere once you get used to it. 

Wishing you much support and guidance from Allah in this difficult situation he put you in. But good news is that usually the better the person, the more culturally challenged they become. It's all about rejecting bidaa and unhealthy norms, which usually starts fights and ends up in excommunication, which is a blessing in disguise. Good luck!

Salam

 

 

[NormaL_UseR]

5 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

I shared original post on Facebook and people at both centers are offended. They all love to talk about amar bil maaroof and nahi anil munkir and criticize others all the time but they cannot hear any criticism. They will never acknowledge their problems and will make no effort to correct their behaviors. 

Yeah unfortunately most centres are not good at taking constructive feedback .