Backbiting at the workplace

[realizm]

Not asking for fiqhi answers but more an open discussion. 

I personally have a boss who is a kind person but obviously lacks skills and tries to compensate by being omnipresent and it is a bit suffocating. 

How do you cope with regular tensions with your boss or colleagues who sometimes have a negative impact on you and only way to evacuate your frustration is often to resort to talking about it at lunchtime or during breaks when she is absent of course. 

[Uni Student]

Does any sort of negative conversation about someone count as backbiting?

I read that backbiting is only considered such when you reveal someone’s faults/sins that Allah had concealed. But if someone sins openly, for example drinking, talking about this would not count as backbiting.

Would both of these scenarios count as backbiting but on different levels?

Edited October 5, 2022 by Uni Student

[Uni Student]

The Messenger of Allah (S) explains Ghibah in the following words, ”Ghibah is remembering your brother in a way he dislikes.”

Imam Musa Ibn Ja’far (‘a) says, “If one speaks of a person in his absence about those of his traits which are actually present in him and people are also aware of it, it is not Ghibah. But if he mentions something which is present in the person but people are unaware of it, it would be Ghibah. Moreover if what he is says is not present in the man, it is allegation (Bukhtan).”

Are these not contradictory? The first hadith seems to say that any negative speech about someone is gheebah, whereas the second hadith seems to say that if people are aware of some negative traits then speaking about it is not gheebah

Edited October 5, 2022 by Uni Student

[rkazmi33]

I have worked at around 15 companies and I was successful only at two companies because at those companies, there was no one to backbite me. If you can backbite about your boss with other coworkers without getting in trouble, that means you have power. If I say even a word against another coworker, I immediately get in trouble. Instead of constantly looking for loopholes and justifying your actions, just ask your inner voice if you think what you are doing is right. 

Edited October 5, 2022 by rkazmi33

[realizm]

1 hour ago, rkazmi33 said:

I have worked at around 15 companies and I was successful only at two companies because at those companies, there was no one to backbite me. If you can backbite about your boss with other coworkers without getting in trouble, that means you have power. If I say even a word against another coworker, I immediately get in trouble. Instead of constantly looking for loopholes and justifying your actions, just ask your inner voice if you think what you are doing is right. 

Since when do I constantly look for loopholes and justify my actions ?

Sounds a bit harsh if you ask me, I rarely - if never - discuss such issues here. Anyway, I won't take it personally.

 

I feel discussing the shortcomings of an unskilled person is most of the times necessary. Like you are in a team of five, and three have noticed something is wrong about the boss. It is normal that you discuss this with the two others. Otherwise you will feel you are the person who's doing things wrong, which would be bad for you psychologically. 

The other side of the coin is that when you have opened that topic, it becomes quite central, and the more the boss is showing her lacks, the more you become impatient and tend to release the pressure by talking. 

So there are two options here : either you collide or expose the person which might one of you two fired, either you try to be patient but that private talk seems necessary. Either way, second option seems to be a better choice. 

[rkazmi33]

54 minutes ago, realizm said:

Since when do I constantly look for loopholes and justify my actions ?

Sounds a bit harsh if you ask me, I rarely - if never - discuss such issues here. Anyway, I won't take it personall

I was talking about the other posts on this thread. They are trying to find loopholes. Talking behind someone's back is backbiting. It's simple, and just like backbiting about an unskilled person can be justified, backbiting about a critical/ judgemental person can also be justified. Have you heard that phrase? Don't hire a brilliant jerk, the overall cost to team productivity is too high. It's probably my personal experience talking but I always had problems because of one brilliant jerk acting like a King or Queen. Sad thing is most companies only judge people based on work performance and don't pay attention to the overall cost to team productivity. And people usually talk about the weakest link. If this person is fired, I can bet that you and your coworkers will find another "unskilled" worker and WILL start talking about him/her. 

Edited October 5, 2022 by rkazmi33

[realizm]

13 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

I was talking about the other posts on this thread. They are trying to find loopholes. Talking behind someone's back is backbiting. It's simple, and just like backbiting about an unskilled person can be justified, backbiting about a critical/ judgemental person can also be justified. Have you heard that phrase? Don't hire a brilliant jerk, the overall cost to team productivity is too high. It's probably my personal experience talking but I always had problems because of one brilliant jerk acting like a King or Queen. Sad thing is most companies only judge people based on work performance and don't pay attention to the overall cost to team productivity. And people usually talk about the weakest link. If this person is fired, I can bet that you and your coworkers will find another "unskilled" worker and WILL start talking about him/her. 

Thanks for your input.

I am mature enough not to make criticism part of my job description. 

[Abu_Zahra]

Once you open the door to such discussions you become a permanent part of the gossip circle . It's best to avoid it completely and to remain professional. 

[realizm]

1 hour ago, Mahdavist said:

Once you open the door to such discussions you become a permanent part of the gossip circle . It's best to avoid it completely and to remain professional. 

Of course if this were to become gossip, I would not take part in it.