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In the Name of God بسم الله

Marriage interview questions - help needed

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Guest Manchester

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Guest Manchester

Salam alaykum brothers and sisters

I need some help, what are the best questions one can ask a potential spouse? What questions give the most insight into the kind of person they are? Are there any questions that are gender specific?

Jazakallah in advance

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Describe yourself in your own words.

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Why are you looking for a husband?

How did you hear about me?

Why should I marry you?

What can you offer that noone else can?

How do you handle pressure?

What's your salary/dowry requirement?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Do you have any references?

*sarcasm*

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Guest Abdul

و عليكم السلام 

What is the most important thing for you in life? Answer should hopefully be Allah or religion.

I ask Allah to guide you to find the right person to be your spouse أن شاء الله 

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6 hours ago, EiE said:

Describe yourself in your own words.

What are your strengths and weaknesses?

Why are you looking for a husband?

How did you hear about me?

Why should I marry you?

What can you offer that noone else can?

How do you handle pressure?

What's your salary/dowry requirement?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Do you have any references?

*sarcasm*

Hahaha that was funny! 

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Wa alaikas salam, 

Make a list of things that matter the most to you in life, and ask questions about them. You will have to figure out which things are negotiable and which things cannot be compromised. 

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If more people did this divorce rates would be much lower

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Posted (edited)
On 6/22/2022 at 6:59 PM, Guest Manchester said:

Salam alaykum brothers and sisters

I need some help, what are the best questions one can ask a potential spouse? What questions give the most insight into the kind of person they are? Are there any questions that are gender specific?

Jazakallah in advance

It's not about specific question, but generally you should try to find out three things. These three things will tell you everything you need to know (to decide to marry or not)

1. How do they treat the close people in their life. Specifically mother and father but also siblings, grandparents, etc. This is a preview of how they will treat you (their spouse). Most people can put on a show for a few days or weeks (i.e. have good aklaq) but you will only know if they actually have good aklaq based on these relationships. 

There is an * to this. In some cases, if they were oppressed in an extreme way by their parents or family (like they were sexually abused over a long period of time, etc), they you can disregard the relationship with the oppressor, whether that is their mother, father, sibling, etc. Those relationships don't count toward good aklaq, because if you were oppressed in an extreme way by anyone, even if that was your mother or father, there is no expectation of having a good relationship with them. 

2. What is important to them and not important. If deen and following the wajibat and avoiding haram are important to them, then they have the 'deen' component necessary for marriage. You can tell more about this from their actions than them words. Also, they should be willing to stay on a program of increasing their Iman and getting closer to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) thru good deeds. 

3. What are their plans for the future. They should have some goals and plans. For example, does he / she want children, how many. What are the career plans, or if it is a lady is she satisfied with working in the home and taking care of the children .Some ladies would be perfectly content with that, other's wouldn't. What country  / city / state are they planning on calling home ? Etc. There is no right or wrong answers for this but these plans need to align, at least somewhat, in order to have a happy marriage. 

 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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Wa alaikum as salam

As other married brothers and sisters may have already informed you, there is no point in showing up with a list of questions. 

Its about getting to know each other and to determine if there is any real reason why you wouldn't get along. 

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) make you successful in this noble task. 

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