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In the Name of God بسم الله

PSA: Having many kids/rant

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Guest Mohammad's mom

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Guest Mohammad's mom

I know its trendy to only have 1 or 2 kids nowadays and gawk at people who have more, and talk about overpopulation and irresponsibility and all that. But as Muslims... come on, we need to be better. We need to have more children, and we should encourage and promote other shia Muslims having children. At eid prayers today someone made an extremely rude comment to me about my sister because she was holding a baby (not hers) and she already has 5 kids (aged 6-27) and they thought she had another baby. And the woman that made the comment was the "sheikhs wife" and it made me really sad how angry this woman was at just the idea that my sister could have another baby (which my sister has wanted). I want a big family too (at least 4 inshaAllah) but it really breaks my heart how our society is so anti children. Just a few generations ago having 4 or 5 kids was a small family. And above all, having children is recommended in Islam! So, we need to get it together, pop out more babies and populate the world with shia children and get rid of the stigma. 

Eid Mubarak everyone. 

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5 hours ago, Guest Mohammad's mom said:

she already has 5 kids (aged 6-27)

MashAllah

That is one of the most beautiful sights to see.  I can only imagine how excited the older kids must be to have a new baby sibling on the way.

Yes, you are correct, and I pity the women who are denied the opportunity to have a child because they prefer to pursue a career. Children are one of our Creator's blessings. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a young family, or a large family, with everyone in good condition.

In the name of liberty, society has pushed women to have fewer children and devote more time to their profession. I feel this is part of a larger plan for the future. Nothing could be further from the truth than persuading a woman that her career is more vital than her family. Unfortunately, more Muslim women are falling into this trap every day, as evidenced by the fact that many muslim women are delaying marriage until their mid 20's or early 30's.

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Posted (edited)
On 5/2/2022 at 9:11 PM, EiE said:

MashAllah

That is one of the most beautiful sights to see.  I can only imagine how excited the older kids must be to have a new baby sibling on the way.

Yes, you are correct, and I pity the women who are denied the opportunity to have a child because they prefer to pursue a career. Children are one of our Creator's blessings. Nothing makes me happier than seeing a young family, or a large family, with everyone in good condition.

In the name of liberty, society has pushed women to have fewer children and devote more time to their profession. I feel this is part of a larger plan for the future. Nothing could be further from the truth than persuading a woman that her career is more vital than her family. Unfortunately, more Muslim women are falling into this trap every day, as evidenced by the fact that many muslim women are delaying marriage until their mid 20's or early 30's.

You know, it’s helpful for people to get their heads around and just accept that there are different people who are built different ways and who want different things out of life. Some women deeply want to simply be mothers and housewives. Others don’t. They sincerely want other things in addition to that.

They didn’t get brainwashed to that any more than the group that want to be über mothers did. They didn’t get “trapped.” And it’s patronizing to make it out that they did get brainwashed or trapped into it. A lot of women just want a moderate, reasonable number of kids and personally enjoy the challenge of a fulfilling career that mentally challenges them alongside their motherhood. They want to be mothers but they don’t want motherhood and wifehood to be their whole identity.

Is that concept really be so shocking? After all, that’s how a lot of men see it. Happy to have some kids, happy to be a father, happy to be a husband, but also happy to have other things going on in life like a meaningful career, hobbies, what have you. Men are not really different from women in wanting to realize their potential as human beings on multiple different levels.

In an age where, in contrast to previous times, most kids actually live to adulthood, no one really needs to birth a tribe of children anymore. And you know what? Most don’t want that either. And mothering a kid (or fathering for that matter) ceases to be a full time job after ~ age 3 or 4, when school starts. A typical two or three kids, that adds up to only 6-10 years of adulthood where it’s a full time, constant, day-long responsibility. A human being as an individual needs and wants something else to fill those other decades of life. 

People just need to accept that we live in a very different time now that offers new opportunities and stop trying to gaslight and emotionally manipulate women for wanting to do something other than make and raise children. Seriously. Have some imagination, people. 

Fundamentally, it comes down to a failure to conceptualize women as full human beings. 

Edited by kadhim
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Salaam, I have known for years, probably since I was 10, that I absolutely do not want children.

Now at 46 years old, all of the character defects that I have and the intolerances and just the personality that I have, shows that the decision I made was the right one.

I have a tremendously hard time just dealing with my elderly and sick parents. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have kids on top of that or to have had kids in general.

I don't think I'm missing out on anything, I think it's like someone else has mentioned above that parenthood isnt for everyone.. different strokes for different folks. Not all of us are meant to be parents and I don't think the guilt of being a Muslim and the expectation of having a large family should be thrust upon someone. I however made this decision many years before I became Muslim and I wasn't pressured into making it, neither was i "coerced by society or its norms and pressures" to pursue a career, cuz i never did that, I just realized that who i am and the personality I have is incompatible with having children. And that's okay...  I couldnt care less whether someone else approves of it or not. I'd rather have made the choice to not have children, then have had children and for them to be all screwed up because of me and my personality defects.

And I'm also not going to hang on the, "well you wont know unless you try" line because to me, that's just a setup for failure. A person needs to know themselves well enough to know what's appropriate for them and what isn't, not hang on some fairy tale that "you will feel different when you have a child" and then find out that i was infact right, that it wasnt for me and now some poor innocent soul has to spend the rest of their lives in counceling trying to fix the mental and psychological damage done to them by their parents when they were too young and helpless to protect themselves.

(Any adults here relate to this now that theyre grown?)

Salaam

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Guest Psychological Warfare

This one of the greatest Psychological Warfare and Oppression conducted in out times. Unfortunately, this is a cultural Tsunami and many will be drowned. (expect few fortunate ones). 

The level of threat is grave and very clever marketing is been utilized to create this dynamic. They are playing with human psychology and are master at it. 

1) Women, to give birth is painful. (dieting craze is not helpful), 2) Bondage warfare was/is very successful sine WW11 3) Implied  Freedom of $, is the glitter which speaks to their desires. 4) show them as baby machines instead of valuing themselves in some slave trade has been very successful. 5) Women are very social and social pressure will have imptact on their psychology. 6) even muslim countries are peddling population control. 7) women is business need to mock the "baby machines". 

Above are facts, so the practical reality is their religion has been very successfully marketed, as they exploited the inner desires. 

To show a women who has many kids and is conscious of their role in the Family. As a slave of a man, and baby machine can't be countered as the mentality has been set. 

The reality is the same women in not informed or care if she is a slave of a corporation. Suffers the corporate bondage, and is ever ready to say yes sir or mam to her corporate  master. 

The difference in the $'s. If the $'s are their no problem in bondage or slavery. 

This experiment shall end in due time and people have to learn the hard way. 

Oh, Man have be slaves they don;t have a choice. They need to provide. 

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