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In the Name of God بسم الله

shyness

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salaam all, i am going to start looking for someone to get married soon inshallah. However one thing that concerns me is that I have never been very confident when talking to women. I feel that I am more on the shy side, not a bad conversator but not the best either, sometimes the conversations I have tend to die out or i feel that i don’t have anything else to say, and I feel like this would make me seem boring to any woman I am talking to. Has anyone else had similar experiences and how did you deal with this? 

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So, I've never been shy with female classmates or coworkers, but if I like a girl, or if I'm potentially talking to someone who is a marriage candidate then  I can get shy.  Or I used to.

Honestly, the best thing to do is just start talking.  Don't talk about what they're looking for, don't talk about what you want, don't talk about religion.  Just talk.  Talk about how their day is, talk about what they do, talk about how many siblings they have, talk about where they want to go visit, what foods they like, etc.  After that point, you either like them or you don't.  If you don't like them, just be respectful and say I don't think this will work out.  Or start transitioning to more serious topics, like religion, like children, like future life goals, etc.  

The point is, you'll get more better at talking to girls the more you talk with them.  Just be sure to not lead them on or string them along.

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10 hours ago, Guest guest said:

salaam all, i am going to start looking for someone to get married soon inshallah. However one thing that concerns me is that I have never been very confident when talking to women. I feel that I am more on the shy side, not a bad conversator but not the best either, sometimes the conversations I have tend to die out or i feel that i don’t have anything else to say, and I feel like this would make me seem boring to any woman I am talking to. Has anyone else had similar experiences and how did you deal with this? 

I would say, I apologise in advanced, I 'm not confident talking to women, I am shy person so excuse me if you find me boring and I hope you can understand. (something around these lines)

Then Start from the basic - What's her favourite field of study, what does she wants to become, whats her interest, food and hobbies) - likewise same things about yourself.

Then maybe talk about habits, future goals. what kind of person you are and how is the family relation.

Unfortunately I don't have the experience either. So I can understand why you would feel shy.

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