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Does Love between Husband and Wife fade away as time passes by?

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Meedy

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Do you think Love between Husband and Wife fade away as time passes by?

Whether its because they had kids or family issues or disagreements or life problems or no longer have the same interest or as time has passed, the feelings are no longer the same.

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This is an important question and as @notme says if we don't try to stay together we will drift apart.

A couple in a a marriage need to put things in place to help them continue to walk on the same path.  Maybe ensure they have a meal together each day, or go for a walk together a few times a week.  Most of all a spiritual bond can help to hold a marraige together.  Praying dua together as equals before God can really strengthen the tie.

Someone once asked a councellor "why isn't my marriage working I give 50% and expect my spouce to put in 50% too but they don't?"

The councellor replied "that's the problem - you need to give 100%"

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On 1/9/2022 at 3:57 AM, Meedy said:

Do you think Love between Husband and Wife fade away as time passes by?

Whether its because they had kids or family issues or disagreements or life problems or no longer have the same interest or as time has passed, the feelings are no longer the same.

Depending on ones definition of "love", it may "fade" over time for some couples. A lot of us have been brainwashed by the media to assume the chemical heady rush of newly wedded bliss is love, and the natural getting used to being around each other and being less giddy about it is considered "losing interest". However, my understanding is that couples who marry and truly understand love can only grow more in love over time, as their common interests, knowledge, goals, or areas of commonality grow, not forgetting  even their physical relationship which should improve over time and not, as the western media often makes us believe, grow boring or common after a while.

Couples can fall out of love if one or both specifically choose to focus out of the areas of their common interests and pursue separate interests (including thoughts) to the exclusion of their spouse. One example I have often heard and believe to be true is that spouses who do not encourage and feel happy about the growth/improvement of their spouse do not see a future with them. If one sees a future/forever with a person, they work towards the growth of that person, including helping them get over their moodiness, unhappiness, body issues and health etc. One should pray that they do not ever fall in love with someone who hears their complains about things which have made them sad/unhappy as nagging. Essentially, love demands that when one person is "nagging" they are communicating a displeasure about something, but only love can perceive this. Lust/self interests etc can see this as nagging and "intruding on our personal peace" and thus the reaction will be very different.

The examples you mentioned: kids, family issues, disagreements, life problems, different interests should be areas of "common growth" so parties need to remind themselves this, and not attach them as a problem of one party. If they are unable to do this on their own, they should seek professional help to help them see these things in that context e.g through marriage counseling.  Growth is not just promotions at work, additional qualifications, degrees, a fatter bank balance etc, growth is also learning together how to cope with a moody child, learning from mistakes in how to handle/raise children, adjust your relationship and actively and proactively cushion it so that "family issues" do not impact it negatively etc. 

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