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In the Name of God بسم الله

Marrying a Sunni

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Ani

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Alsalam alaikum 

I just need to know how bad can it be.

I am from a Sunni family but Alhamdullillah i am shia.

My mum is looking for proposals for me...and because they don't know anyone in Shia community they keep getting Sunni proposals.

I am firm on wanting to get married into a Shia family... but ... is it alright to never get married rather than getting married into a Sunni family to a Sunni man?

Or marriage is that important that we should just get married to a good human being or whoever is available??... 

Because thats how things are for now... my parents get really frustrated and mad by this demand sometimes. :(

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Importantly, most maraje allow it on conditions.

If those conditions will be met for you, in the end it should come down to simple compatibility of natures and perceptions. One thing is, in the event you end up marrying a sunni, you should be Ok with the fact that they may never become shia (that is, do not enter a marriage hoping you will somehow manage to convince them if you are not ok with being with a sunni forever). I know of some very successful shia-sunni marriages. An open minded sunni may be a lot easier to live with than a close minded dogmatic semi learned shia or one whose ego surpasses his/her knowledge by far.

 

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Dude (or dudette), you need to get married if you want to get married.  Don't let the sunni-shia divide stop you if that's all that's available to you.

Look, it's unfortunate that we're divided, but if you want to be close with someone, if you want to have kids, if you want to be intimate and love someone, and you believe in Islam, the only lawful way to do all that is through marriage.  The last thing you want to do is be so strict now that you end up regretting it 20 years down the line and realize you missed out on 5, 10, 15, 20+ years of a potential lovely relationship with someone.

Just because someone is sunni doesn't mean they are firm in their desire to raise sunni children.  Doesn't mean they are firm in their desire to pray hands crossed,  Heck, they may not even really pray, or do anything sunni.  You may be perfectly free to raise kids how you want to raise them, and you may even bring someone else into the fold.  

Think about it.  

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Salam, are you okay with your children being Sunni? Because the dad is going to take them to Sunni mosques and Sunni Madrassas, the dad will not take them to muharram events, will not take them to ziyarah. Can your heart bear the last two?

Me personally, the Ahlul-Bayt have to be a prominent part of my life, not something that I follow alone do while my family moves in a different direction. I've seen a lot of people with Sunni-Shia parents, and almost every time they follow the Sunni dad or they fall between the cracks and become irreligious. 

Patiently wait for your Shia Qisma

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If you do go with the sunni choice,

stipulate in the marriage contract the children adopt shia beliefs, and that should he decide to dishonour this agreement later on, then you have the right of divorce and keeping the children

or something to that effect

make sure you are protected.

a man of principle will have no issue with you making certain stipulations in the marriage contract. but then again i doubt a sunni man of principle would marry a shia.

thus i encourage your patience to seek a shia partner

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From a fighi perspective you can marry a sunni man according to most marajah. Problem is you have to accept that 9 out of 10 cases your kids will grow up sunnis. If you can live with that and you know 100% that you yourself won't turn then there is no problem. 

But that is very wishful thinking.

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On 12/30/2021 at 11:07 AM, Ani said:

Alsalam alaikum 

I just need to know how bad can it be.

I am from a Sunni family but Alhamdullillah i am shia.

My mum is looking for proposals for me...and because they don't know anyone in Shia community they keep getting Sunni proposals.

I am firm on wanting to get married into a Shia family... but ... is it alright to never get married rather than getting married into a Sunni family to a Sunni man?

Or marriage is that important that we should just get married to a good human being or whoever is available??... 

Because thats how things are for now... my parents get really frustrated and mad by this demand sometimes. :(

Wa alaykumus salam wa rahmatullah

Sister I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.  I will be definitely making dua for you.

Regarding marrying a Sunni, I highly highly highly encourage you to NOT get married to a Sunni man.  The reason is that if you get married to a Sunni man your child will likely become a Sunni as well.  

I know the sooner you get married the better it is.  But here you must be patient, it may take a little while for you to find a Shia husband.  But inshallah it will happen soon.  

Under no circumstances agree to get married to a Sunni male!  I cannot stress it enough! 

If you can travel abroad to a Shia majority country like Iran or Iraq, then I highly encourage you to do so.  Because you will have higher luck finding a Shia husband there than for example New York or London. 

Also try websites like shiamatch.com

Do not be picky over things like height, weight, hair color, wealth, and things in that nature.  The most important thing in a future husband is how righteous of a man he is.  Look at how he treats his family, if he treats them good then he will most likely treat you and good as well. 

I pray that your are successful

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On 12/30/2021 at 9:07 PM, Ani said:

Alsalam alaikum 

I just need to know how bad can it be.

I am from a Sunni family but Alhamdullillah i am shia.

My mum is looking for proposals for me...and because they don't know anyone in Shia community they keep getting Sunni proposals.

I am firm on wanting to get married into a Shia family... but ... is it alright to never get married rather than getting married into a Sunni family to a Sunni man?

Or marriage is that important that we should just get married to a good human being or whoever is available??... 

Because thats how things are for now... my parents get really frustrated and mad by this demand sometimes. :(

There are many shia match maker volunteer every community,  you can find on Facebook or 

You can try at www.shiamatch.com , where you find many converted momin profile also.

May Allah make things easy for you

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