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In the Name of God بسم الله

Leaving a western country

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Guest Ali

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Salam

I have a question I was hoping that I could get the answer to here
I live in Australia and grew up here, I live with family and I have been giving some thought to moving from australia to an muslim country like iraq because I really hate the lifestyle here, its so hard to stay true to your faith here with all the temptations coming from everywhere at times it becomes really really hard to resist which is why I want to move but what I was wondering is if I do decide to move but my parents does not let me, am I still allowed to move because I fear my faith is in danger in the long term here?

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Hi,

I live in Australia too and I understand how you're feeling. However It is important to be obedience to your parents. God knows your intention but at the same time God wants to be obedience to your parents.

You see if you move, you will upset your parents and make your parents worried which God wouldn't like. Pray to God to strengthen your faith, keep temptations away from you, find study religious books etc.

About  your faith, this is a challenge and test we face and must overcome. Even if you move to other country, there will still be challenges. Whether we like it or not, we will be tested in one way or another.

What things are tempting you and find a dislike to them. Perhaps talk to us in here and we may provide advice and tips that may help you.

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Salam,

It is not obligatory to obey the parents in everything if you are baligh.

 

340. Question: What are the limits of obeying one’s parents?

Answer: The duty of a child towards his parents is of two kinds:

o The First: To be kind towards them by providing for them, if they are in need. To provide for their day-to-day needs. To respond to their requests that are related to their daily lives at a level that is normal and usual for a human being, in the sense that if he refuses to fulfill them, it would be regarded as “not being good to them” — and that would differ depending on whether they are healthy and strong or ill and weak.

o The Second: To behave towards them kindly, by not offending them in word or action, even if they are unjust to him. In some religious text, it says, “And if they hit you, do not shun them; instead say, ‘May Allãh forgive you.’”

This is as far as it relates to the parents’ situation. As for those issues concerning the affairs of the child himself by which he could offend one of the parents, these are of two kinds:

o The First: If the parent’s distress results from his concern for the child, it is forbidden for the child to do something that would distress his parent, irrespective of whether or not the parent has prevented him from it.

o The Second: If the parent’s distress results from of his own evil characteristics (for example, dislike for the good of this world or the hereafter for his child), this kind of distress has no bearing on the child, thus, it is not obligatory on the child to submit to this kind of desires.

It becomes clear from this that, on its own, obeying the parents in their personal commands is not obligatory. And Allãh knows the best.

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/46/2056/

 

 

Obedience to Parents
Question 7: To what extent is obedience to parents obligatory as per shar‘? Do they have to be obeyed in all matters, even in personal life, such as choosing a field of study, etc.?
Answer: Obedience to parents is not obligatory in itself, but opposition to parents should not cause them anguish and considerable distress, for example if it is accompanied by expressing one's disgust, or by rejecting and driving them away.

https://www.leader.ir/en/content/25345/MONTHLY-AHKAM-|-November-2021?category=172#other_news

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Salam

so by this, I can move to a muslim country if I fear a loss of a faith in the long term? I really want to start a family overseas, and find somehow to deal with it, but I couldnt seem to find any website that would actually answer my question properly or maybe I wasnt looking right

everyday is a struggle and challenge if you really want to practice your religion here, I was thinking about it the other day and just how much responsibility I put on myself and that Ill need to be held accountable for scared me a lot 

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On 12/6/2021 at 7:21 AM, Guest Ali said:

If I do decide to move but my parents does not let me, am I still allowed to move because I fear my faith is in danger in the long term here?

Salam. How old are you? Living far from your parents will be hard on them. Convince your parents that all of you need to move.

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20 minutes ago, Hameedeh said:

Salam. How old are you? Living far from your parents will be hard on them. Convince your parents that all of you need to move.

wsalam
24 years old, I understand it will be and I do love them deeply especially my mum but for the past almost 2 years I have been constantly thinking about joining a hawza or something similar to that, want to learn more about my religion and time isn’t really on my side

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Temptations exist everywhere - even in Muslim countries. 
Controlling your temptations/nafs to commit sin is something that you will have to learn (anywhere you are) and it becomes harder as you grow older because temptation will take on different forms. I have also grown up in Australia so I understand how hard it can be to resist western cultural practices especially high school/uni where it is so prevalent. I also came to a point in my life where i thought moving to a country like Iran would make it easier - and similar to your situation parents didn't give permission. Strengthening my knowledge of Islam and working on my actions helped me to deal with my temptations eg lowering my gaze, not listening to music. It was and still is a struggle but refraining from sins is the more pleasing to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) than performing good deeds. Ask Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for help and guidance and make Islam your armour against these temptations.

If you afraid of your faith long term maybe wait until you are independent/married then your parents may become more agreeable 

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On 12/9/2021 at 12:38 AM, Guest Raziya said:

Temptations exist everywhere - even in Muslim countries. 
Controlling your temptations/nafs to commit sin is something that you will have to learn (anywhere you are) and it becomes harder as you grow older because temptation will take on different forms. I have also grown up in Australia so I understand how hard it can be to resist western cultural practices especially high school/uni where it is so prevalent. I also came to a point in my life where i thought moving to a country like Iran would make it easier - and similar to your situation parents didn't give permission. Strengthening my knowledge of Islam and working on my actions helped me to deal with my temptations eg lowering my gaze, not listening to music. It was and still is a struggle but refraining from sins is the more pleasing to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) than performing good deeds. Ask Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) for help and guidance and make Islam your armour against these temptations.

If you afraid of your faith long term maybe wait until you are independent/married then your parents may become more agreeable 

 

I understand and agree with you 100%, the struggle was the same for me aswell, I was addicted to a lot of things, did a lot of other bad things and when I truly found meaning (i was always muslim just not a practicing one) it was the biggest struggle but I am 100 times better than I used to be because of those struggles, I understand that the struggle might never get easier and don’t expect it to but I want to go to a muslim country to grow more spiritually and knowledge. I can’t do that here, its close to impossible

I am 24 years olds and from the information Ive gathered, hawzas aren’t too keen to giving older people chances, Im afriad if I don’t chase my goals now, Ill forever regret it later on

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1. Have you decided which country planning to move to?

2. Do you or can you speak the language of that country? and are you familiar with their culture?

3. Do you know anyone that lives in that country that will help you?

4. Do you know the difficulties that you will encounter in that country?

Perhaps maybe say you're going there temporary to strengthen your faith and knowledge (E.g. Qom or Karbala)

See if there is Islamic school or something to gain knowledge and become a teacher or volunteer in Muslim community

I suggest find ways to beat temptations (avoid social media, going out or watching Western Tv/music) and Gain/increase knowledge (attending mosque/community, buy/read books/ seek classes to learn)

Maybe your parents don't let you go for a reasons. Your parents will continue to be worried about you considering how much Australia's border has been closed for and you get the COVID thing going adds to that worry in a way.

It is a big decision you will be making. Think about it carefully. I hate seeing my parents in tears or to be always worried or hurt. I had 2 seizures that I ended up being hospitalized I've seen their worries.

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On 12/9/2021 at 3:33 PM, Guest Ali said:

wsalam
24 years old, I understand it will be and I do love them deeply especially my mum but for the past almost 2 years I have been constantly thinking about joining a hawza or something similar to that, want to learn more about my religion and time isn’t really on my side

I know the feelings bro, me personally I wouldn’t move but I do wish there was a hawza institute or madrasa for people our age in Sydney. Not everything should be online and I feel like there needs to be more than just 3 local masajid with 2 being only Arabic. There needs to be more of a brotherhood and classes for reverts and young/adult muslims who didn’t get the chance to learn out of ignorance or just want extra knowledge. We shouldn’t have to travel overseas there should be things here.

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