Jump to content
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!) ×
Guests can now reply in ALL forum topics (No registration required!)
In the Name of God بسم الله

Terms of endearment with fiancé

Rate this topic


hello_0

Recommended Posts

  • Advanced Member

Hello Everyone, Salam

I was wondering whether using terms of endearment and complementing on the looks of ones fiancé is permissible or not? Its only on texts and video calls. Also, what about watching movies together? 

Thank you all

 

Edited by hello_0
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • The title was changed to Terms of endearment with fiancé
  • Advanced Member

Thank you Uni Student.

Actually temp marriage is not feasible unfortunately. The actual marriage is also atleast two or three years down the road.

Also currently we are not in the same country; its like long-distance. 

Both parties are completely committed to a future marriage, with logistic etc being the only issue for delays, isnt this sort of engagement effectively like a temperory marriage? I know its not technically, but considering today's society, doensn't it fulfill that criteria- or even more, because sometimes committment in this scenario can be stronger than in temperory marriages?

I know that ideally there shouldnt be any terms of endearment before actual marriage, but this kind of started (maybe back then it just didn't occur). Now it feels awkward if one of us sudddenly stops. 

Of course any physical contact is out of question. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member
54 minutes ago, hello_0 said:

isnt this sort of engagement effectively like a temperory marriage? I know its not technically, but considering today's society, doensn't it fulfill that criteria- or even more, because sometimes committment in this scenario can be stronger than in temperory marriages?

not sure, one of the other brothers will have to give more insight

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

For a marriage to exist, fixed term or otherwise, the contract has to be verbalized.

If you are not able to take this step, then keep it halal and avoid too much contact. What starts as terms of endearment can quickly escalate to a lot more especially now that you say marriage is two to three years away.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member

Thanks ummulbaneen

Yes I understand, what you said is ideal. But what if one has started it? Is the occasional 'dear' or 'sweetheart' or heart emoji etc really that bad to come under the umbrella of haram :)

As I said getting physical is out of question, we are miles apart. Also, its a no-no either way.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member
1 hour ago, hello_0 said:

Is the occasional 'dear' or 'sweetheart' or heart emoji etc really that bad to come under the umbrella of haram :)

Salam no it doesn't  come under umbrella  of Haram if your intention is marriage  & showing your emotions  in mutual manner toward each other also a traditional procedure in Iran for being with  fiancé before marriage  is accompanying a third person from  one of close relatives of her likewise brother or sister o anyone from Mahram people around her in close contacts likewise watching movies  toghether .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member
1 hour ago, hello_0 said:

Any comments about video calls?

Salam  this is same as text chatting  which only you can have video  calls if only you have it by intention  of marriage & mutual  relation for work & study  not lust & you don't  fall in sin .

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member
On 12/1/2021 at 11:28 AM, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam no it doesn't  come under umbrella  of Haram if your intention is marriage  & showing your emotions  in mutual manner toward each other also a traditional procedure in Iran for being with  fiancé before marriage  is accompanying a third person from  one of close relatives of her likewise brother or sister o anyone from Mahram people around her in close contacts likewise watching movies  toghether .

Perhaps you should clarify that in Iran, fiance means a sigha mahramiya has already been done and they are essentially under a "no physical contact" sigha, [lets not discuss that this is possibly violated], and not the definition of a fiance in the rest of the world where its just a party, a ring, and no sigha or aqd of any kind. 

I do not think that it is "acceptable" in Iran for parties to start calling each other azizam, nafasam etc before a sigha is recited, so you should clarify this to the OP.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member
On 12/4/2021 at 12:52 PM, Ashvazdanghe said:

Salam  this is same as text chatting  which only you can have video  calls if only you have it by intention  of marriage & mutual  relation for work & study  not lust & you don't  fall in sin .

video calls between na mahrims should also observe FULL rules of hijab. Engaged or otherwise, they are still na mahrim until the day they decide to put a contract on it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member
On 12/8/2021 at 11:34 AM, ummulbaneen said:

Perhaps you should clarify that in Iran, fiance means a sigha mahramiya has already been done and they are essentially under a "no physical contact" sigha, [lets not discuss that this is possibly violated], and not the definition of a fiance in the rest of the world where its just a party, a ring, and no sigha or aqd of any kind. 

I do not think that it is "acceptable" in Iran for parties to start calling each other azizam, nafasam etc before a sigha is recited, so you should clarify this to the OP.

Hmm so does that mean that the sigha is basically like mutah? And was @Ashvazdanghe referrring to sigha or engagement as it is understood in western and south asian cultures?

 

Thanks again

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Advanced Member
13 hours ago, hello_0 said:

Hmm so does that mean that the sigha is basically like mutah? And was @Ashvazdanghe referrring to sigha or engagement as it is understood in western and south asian cultures?

 

Thanks again

 

Yes, the sigha mahramiya is a mutah which Iranian families use for potential couples to get to know each other and see if they are suitable for marriage, a sort of halal dating period. some keep the contract until the formal aqd is recited and registered (the daaim aqd. the nikah), but their life together does not start at this point, and they are still considered to be engaged and are not supposed to have kids together yet, or else society frowns upon it. They are considered married once they move in together (or the desi rukhsati). Before any of these formulas for marital contract (fixed term or otherwise, conditional or unconditional), are recited, you are not mahrim for each other, and the closest you can be with her is as you would be with a workmate you happen to get along with, or a cousin you regularly interact with. There is no objection to what you may feel for this person, but expressing it and communicating on those terms will definitely violate some rules of hijab, and more likely than not lead to further vice.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...