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In the Name of God بسم الله

To understand how women think ( Qs for sisters)

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Guest A man

There are a lot to say but I will make it simple. I live in a community that I know nothing about how women think ? especially young adult women, so I have been hearing a lot of marriages failures some of them the husband was the reason due to their ego( thinks that they are right ) but most of them the wife was the reason due to selfishness ( only care about themselves). So I was thinking why they only care about themselves? Where islam teachings went , So I concluded that the media and social media are playing a huge role in their way of thinking. So I got afraid of getting married but  I can not say anything like I said I don't know how women think , so I want to ask these questions to the sisters especially young adult sisters due they got affected more by social media( internet in general). 
 

What is your purpose in this life ? 
 

How Islam is important to you ? 
 

What are the characteristics ( traits ) do  you want of your husband ? How much is enough money do you want to your husband to have ? 
 

How marriage is important to you ? 
 

Is living  a luxury life ( to buy newest phone every year , big house , amazing car , travel outside every year , buying expensive stuff ) important to you ?

How having kids is important to you ? Will you care about them more than yourself ? 
 

Thanks for your time,

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To understand women, you have to understand us emotionally. Many times when marriages fail, it's usually because a man wants to remain stubborn and "in charge" as opposed to learning how to communicate effectively. Many Muslim men, sometimes being concerned with being the provider type, never consider to learn how to listen. Communication in general is not valued in a lot of Muslim societies. 

To answer your questions....

 

1. My purpose. There is no one purpose. Obviously, on a basic level, I'm here to be a good person, pray, and be kind to others. But I also have interests and hobbies, talents that I believe God has given me that I want to put to good use. Essentially, my purpose is to gain skills, be productive, and worship my lord. 

 

2. Islam is important. It's a bit part of my life. But I want to stress that Islam is only one part of life. The other parts are having fun, finding a partner, raising kids, learning new skills, starting a career, etc. The Quran even says to enjoy life. 

 

3. I am already married. So it was important for me to find a man who was kind, sweet, emotionally attuned to people, empathetic, and easy to get along with. As for money, money is important, but being happy with what you're doing is more important. Generally, making money to support yourself, and having some disposable income, is important.

 

4. Marriage is important. There has to always compromise, forgiveness, trust, loyalty, commitment, and good communication. 

 

5. There is a fallacy that either one lives a life of luxury or is destitute. I think there is a balance. Travelling is very important for mental health. I need to travel at least twice a year. New phones, not important. Getting the latest gadgets, not important. Getting the latest car... No. Not important. Gifts are important. Travelling is important. A big house? It would be nice, but I prefer a house with an ideal floor plan. Nice stuff for the house? Yes, it's important. There's no point buying a house just to fill it with disposable items that will fall apart in a few years. Quality is important, not the price tag. But more importantly, most people can save up their money and budget for at least one vacation a year. 

 

6. Having kids is nice when you can afford them and can take care of them. Both parents should be as selfless as possible while still taking care of themselves, their looks, their hobbies, etc. Kids will respect you more if you take care of yourself and maintain an identity outside of parenting.

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Every individual, man or woman, will have their own unique answers. 

1. To worship through deeds

2. Framework

3. Respect

4. Enough

5. Kind of socially expected

6. No

7. Very

8. Yes. 

 

Any questions? 

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