Struggling with faith... not sure where to turn

[HopefulBeliever]

Salam alakum,

I’ve experienced peaks and troughs of faith during my life which I figure is normal however I’ve never felt the way I do right now. I currently don’t feel the presence of God in my heart like I used to and it’s been like that for the past month or so. My genuine faith and love the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) isn’t there anymore. Tbh although I’ve always had utmost respect for the Ahlulbayt I’ve never had enough knowledge to develop a deep love for them but now I have little interest for them.  

I’m still keeping up my salat but I’m doing it out of habit and I know I’m just going through the motions. I’ve occasionally read the Quran over the past few weeks and although I do enjoy the melodical nature of it hasn’t helped.

Sadly I have nobody to turn to about this  and I’m genuinely not sure what to do. It makes me sad because I want to bring this faith back. On the simplest level my identity is rooted in Islam so I want to resolve this for that reason. Also this life isn’t satisfactory enough and I want to believe there is something better to come. 

Just to fill you in on where my mind/ faith is at right now- from a purely logical view I have always known there to be a higher power and creator . Also there are parts of Islam I have always seen as very progressive and liberating for humanity and society (compared to any other system I have come across). I like the holistic nature of it. 

You may also wonder where these feelings may have come from and I don’t think I’d be able to pinpoint it exactly but here are some potential reasons in no particular order-— 

1) I get overwhelmed by the level of pain and injustice in the world a lot of the time and perhaps can’t reconcile this with the belief there is a just God.

2) I’m living in a secular society where there is always a strong anti-religion sentiment and liberal culture and media. There is some islamaphobia and as a hijabi even if it’s not explicit you are under estimated and treated as a second class citizen. 

3) As a woman I feel there is very little space to be well and truly part of Islamic mosques and spaces. Women are always tucked into a side room and I genuinely feel like a second class citizen in Muslim spaces. Again, I feel that women are underestimated in the Muslim community as a whole and are not treated as an equal. Please note that my family and friendship circles are quite progressive in that regard. I’ve always been surrounded by successful and confident women and have been raised to be my best self (professionally and spirituality).

4) One thing that I have always struggled with is the embedded misogyny in Islamic text - whether it is Hadith, Qur’an etc. As somebody who is very very passionate about women’s rights this has always been a struggle for me. Any time I mentally come to terms with one Hadith or aya another one crops up. The most recent one is about a Hadith that says Imam Mahdi’s army (AF) will have a lot more men than women and justifies this by hinting that women are inferior (I can’t remember the exact reasoning or wording). 

4) I can count over 10+ friends or acquaintances who have taken their hijab off over the past 5 years or so. One quite close friend who was very practising took her hijab off and told me she is not convinced about Islam and is searching for the truth. I wonder if to some degree this has had an impact on me. When she said this to me at the time I was very sad, disappointed and worried for her. 

5) I am currently experiencing some mental health issues- depression, existential issues, anxiety which contributes to my inability to see beauty in the world. These issues have always existed though and my faith has helped get me through. I have decided that I need professional help so am seeking a therapist (bit of a struggle to find one right now). 

6) Although I am blessed with a good job, income, good friends and family I have struggled to find a husband and have prayed for this (and been very proactive) yet nothing has come off this.  Deep down I feel like this is a simple ask but why has God not granted me with this. Also if God has created me with a need for companionship and physical affection why would this not be fulfilled? 

If you have read this post all the way through, thank you for taking the time out to do this. I am here because I have nobody to turn to. Any help or guidance is welcome. Although I am quite thick skinned I would appreciate your compassion/ empathy too. 

[starlight]

I am sorry you are going through. I wish I could be of help but unfortunately I am in the same boat as you and so while I can relate I don't have any answers.

Many duas.

[ShiaofAli12]

Assalamu Alaikum Dear Sister,

I hope I'm able to help.

I've went through these times as well where you don't feel connected to God and I still do from time to time. I've read hadiths from Imam Ali (عليه السلام) that our hearts from time to time need to be revitalised because at times we feel connected to God and times we don't. He said that whenever you feel disconnected, try to read some good words or ahadiths to bring your spirit back up. 

What helped me was taking the steps to learn more about Islam and tried to created a program regarding what and when I should learn. One series of lectures that have helped me improve my connection with God is this, https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWDyY0v4a8BDuu0Iy8VmZJsQwdy4iyBN7. I'm only up to the 5th lecture and it has already changed my perspective of everything, which was brought simply by changing how I prayer. You mentioned that pray out of habit, I did the same as well, try taking notes after watching the lectures on the spiritual manner and secrets of salaat and try your best to implement them, trust me it will open so many doors. Reading the tafsir of Surah al-Fatiha from the same Sheikh on Tafsir al-Mizan also moved me as well and gave me a new perspective, there's a lot of beauty behind the Surah which we recite daily. Try as well, instead of just reciting the Qur'an, try reading some books on tafsir, I'm reading these ones currently, https://www.al-islam.org/enlightening-commentary-light-holy-quran-vol-1, https://www.al-islam.org/al-mizan-exegesis-quran-volume-1-sayyid-muhammad-husayn-tabatabai with the help of these lectures, https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLGpGEfBFqEitIjOzIWwciuTpPc2jGRjqT. 

With regards to what you are experiencing from your community, someone else would have to speak about this for I'm not too sure about how to deal with it. With regards to women being inferior because of the hadiths you heard, the way I was taught too see is that the only thing that determines whether someone is better than the other is the taqwa and piety, irrespective of gender, race and any other factor, During the Prophet's time, he was mocked for not having a child to continue his legacy. Usually, it's said that a boy will continue the bloodline or the lineage of their father. However, God gave him a daughter named Syeda Fatima and it was through her the Imams were born. Through Fatima till this day there are so many descendants of the Prophet, those who mocked him for not having a male child are barely even remembered. But the Prophets name is everywhere. I'm not too sure if I conveyed the idea I intended but in short words, it was the daughter of the prophet (not the son) who continued his lineage and legacy that remains even till this day. 

What about Syeda Zainab, she was crucial to the revival of Islam after the death of Imam Hussein, She alone had so much impact on the survival Islam which just goes to show that even though she was female, she was in no way inferior to the men, in fact better. There are so many great women figures in Islam and throughout the history of time.

I'm going to continue this post at a later time but I just wanted to give some words in the mean time, i hope this helps. 

With Duas and Salams

[Shahrukh K]

2 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

get overwhelmed by the level of pain and injustice in the world a lot of the time 

Why ?

 

2 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

perhaps can’t reconcile this with the belief there is a just God.

God is just, it is the truth.

 

2 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

’m living in a secular society where there is always a strong anti-religion sentiment and liberal culture and media. There is some islamaphobia and as a hijabi even if it’s not explicit you are under estimated and treated as a second class citizen. 

You are not the only one facing this. Most of the muslims living as minority in other countries facing this.

 

2 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

As a woman I feel there is very little space to be well and truly part of Islamic mosques and spaces. Women are always tucked into a side room and I genuinely feel like a second class citizen in Muslim spaces.

You are not talking about Islam, no where in Quran it is mentioned that women cannot go or pray in the mosque.

This is by tradition not by Islam.

2 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

One thing that I have always struggled with is the embedded misogyny in Islamic text - whether it is Hadith, Qur’an

there is no misogynist text in Quran. If you find any hadith which is against woman ignore it. 

 

2 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

can count over 10+ friends or acquaintances who have taken their hijab off over the past 5 years or so.

Why act of other bothers you. It is not your duty to change the world.

2 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

Although I am blessed with a good job, income, good friends and family

Alhamdolillah how fortunate you are, there are very few people in the world blessed with all these things like job and good family

 

2 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

y I have struggled to find a husband and have prayed for this (and been very proactive) yet nothing has come off this.  Deep down I feel like this is a simple ask but why has God not granted me with this. 

Have patience Allah will fulfill your wish.

 

3 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

. I am here because I have nobody to turn to.

Turn inwards to your own self. Have patience.

[pseudonym]

Assalaamun Alaykum,

Sadly these types of feelings are becoming more common in this era.

Regarding the status of women all you need to remember are a few examples, when Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) clarified who the Ahle-Kisa were by naming Sayyeda Fatima(s.a) and introducing, Her Father, Her Husband and Her Sons.

Without the money of Lady Khadijah(s.a) could the Prophet's(saaw) mission have spread so fast and easily? and without Lady Zaynab(s.a), Karbala could never have been the revolution that it is.

The era when Islam was introduced was very misogynistic so the revelation took into consideration the mindset of the region at that time, therefore texts can read as male centric but that isn't the reality, rather a reflection of that era who were after all burying female babies, that level of ignorance needed to be dealt with accordingly.

It is difficult but focus on your own worth, that Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) created you as a human being and your path is your path only.

 

[HopefulBeliever]

@starlight thank you for your well wishes and responding to my post. It does give me some comfort that I am not the only one experiencing this. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) show us the light and guide us.

@ShiaofAli12 thank you for your thoughtful message. I appreciate that we all go through moments where we experience dips in faith but this is the first time it has happened to such a degree which is why I'm feeling so troubled. I've felt disconnected to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and spirituality in the past but on this occasion I am outright doubting my faith in Islam. This feels very different. 

Nevertheless you have given me food for thought. Over the past year or so I have taken on some part-time formal Islamic study but I think committing to a series of lectures may be a good way to go as lecture series give a more motivating/ inspiring angle than academic study. Also reflecting and digging deeper into Qur'an is a good suggestion. 

If you could point me to some of the relevant/ helpful Imam Ali hadith you mention about feeling disconnected to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) that might be helpful. 

@pseudonym thanks for your response. I can accept that the context in which revelation was revealed was a very different context and we have to look at hadiths and texts in this light but it does feel  like a lot of texts do allude to the inferiority of women and I find that the majority of Muslims just accept this and move on. If the majority of Muslims came to a consensus that a lot of these texts should be reinterpreted/ rejected fine but this doesn't tend to happen.  

@Shahrukh K I am going to ignore you as you sound like a troll. God forbid one of your friend's approaches with you these challenges and you respond in this way. You're more likely to push them away from the religion.

[Guest whatsTheGoal]

On 10/3/2021 at 7:16 AM, HopefulBeliever said:

@starlight thank you for your well wishes and responding to my post. It does give me some comfort that I am not the only one experiencing this. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) show us the light and guide us.

@ShiaofAli12 thank you for your thoughtful message. I appreciate that we all go through moments where we experience dips in faith but this is the first time it has happened to such a degree which is why I'm feeling so troubled. I've felt disconnected to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and spirituality in the past but on this occasion I am outright doubting my faith in Islam. This feels very different. 

Nevertheless you have given me food for thought. Over the past year or so I have taken on some part-time formal Islamic study but I think committing to a series of lectures may be a good way to go as lecture series give a more motivating/ inspiring angle than academic study. Also reflecting and digging deeper into Qur'an is a good suggestion. 

If you could point me to some of the relevant/ helpful Imam Ali hadith you mention about feeling disconnected to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) that might be helpful. 

@pseudonym thanks for your response. I can accept that the context in which revelation was revealed was a very different context and we have to look at hadiths and texts in this light but it does feel  like a lot of texts do allude to the inferiority of women and I find that the majority of Muslims just accept this and move on. If the majority of Muslims came to a consensus that a lot of these texts should be reinterpreted/ rejected fine but this doesn't tend to happen.  

@Shahrukh K I am going to ignore you as you sound like a troll. God forbid one of your friend's approaches with you these challenges and you respond in this way. You're more likely to push them away from the religion.

the Imams told us there are three signs of a believer

wearing the aqeeq

commemorating arbaeen

and worshipping 51 rakaat every day

the quran says "and I (God )have not created the mankind and jinn except to worship me"

pray 51 rakaat every day for  a month and i promise u that u will increase ur faith and find the answers to all your questions

let God guide you, believe me just do that and even fast every mon and thu which Imam Khomeinih recommended and u will find faith and u will even find more than u hoped for

its that simple our religion is action based , do the actions and God will open your heart to higher levels of faith and even higher enlightenment

[rkazmi33]

I have been dealing with loss of faith since 2019. For me, the biggest factor is spiritual abuse. I minimized contact with all abusive people in my life, but I have been religious, so bullies in my life started using scholars in islamic centers. That's why I have stopped going to the masjid. My parents want me to get married but I already had one bad experience. Due to my mental health right now, I don't want to get married right now and that's why they keep telling me to move out of house. I gave also been careless about my hijab. All non muslim men have weird hijab fetish, they become obsessed with me and due to this non muslim women hate me and they think I have bad character. Recently so many people, both muslims and non muslims have been accusing me of being drunk and high. I don't understand, they stare at my eyes and I need to have expressionless eyes. If I am happy or uncomfortable, they just assume I am using drugs. My community members compare me to yazeed and tell me that like him I drink alcohol. These are very bad accusations for a hijabi. They break my heart and I think if my community is abandoning me, then I will need to rely on non muslims and they don't like social hijab even if they tolerate someone wearing a hijab. That's why I have become very careless about my hijab. I don't know what have I done to get so many accusations from my community. They constantly call me apostate, I am out of control and they threaten to send me to Pakistan where I will be married off against my will. I don't do drugs, I never had a boyfriend. Now I am thinking that all those stories about western women who are sent back home because they have boyfriends, what if all of them are just accusations. I don't want to study religion because I am always so anxious about future. My family and all my extended family have been focused on me and it just feels like a mob attack. I am anxious, scared, I feel that I don't belong anywhere. Trump's time was really bad, so I was very excited after the election, hoping things will get better. 

Does anyone know why people have started constantly accusing people of being drunk or using alcohol? It's not just me, other people have also been accused. Spiritual abuse is worse than Islamophobia, I don't know if it is result of islamophobia. People keep track of what videos I watch on youtube and criticize me for wasting time if I spend any time on entertainment. Even my co-workers comment about videos I watch and this makes me so angry. I don't interfere in their lives, why are they constantly invading my privacy? I just hate all people and want to avoid interacting with them. But they don't even let me worship. Whenever they see me praying or fasting, they tell me praying and fasting will not help you if you don't give rights of people.  There is a whole website about spiritual abuse and it helps me to read about other people and they validate my experience. My family denies that they are involved in anything and they keep asking me why would speaker at mosque focus on you alone? And I also don't understand this why they are constantly focused my sins only? I sometimes think it's because of end of times and I am dealing with Dajjali forces. I recently heard from a rare kind speaker that we should read Sura Kahf to fight with Dajjal. I am going to try that. 

I am sorry my post is all over the place. I am typing on my  phone. 

Edited October 3 by rkazmi33

[pseudonym]

Generations ago before technology, all people dealt with was what happened in their villages/towns and within their families and when on occasion people came with news from other areas. In 2021 the bits of information that we are all dealing with every day is millions and no doubt has affected all of us in some way.

A good way forward is to try to keep your energy for yourself, the more we allow others to affect us the more energy we give away which leaves us weaker and more vulnerable. A lot easier said than done, but we need to stay focussed on our own path and deal with the bumps that come from others, just like in a car when we get to a bump we need to slow down, take stock and then move forward again. 

May Allah(سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) make it easier for everyone.

[.InshAllah.]

Salam sister,

 

Sorry you're going through this.  Allamah Tabatabai (r) says that doubt can be a positive driving force, as it forces us to work through it and seek greater knowledge & understanding, and inshallah greater proximity to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).  Inshallah this is a stepping stone that will take you closer to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).

I want to say a few of things.  The first is that much of what you write has no bearing on the truth of Islam, eg people's attitudes and islamophobia.  You shouldn't doubt that the Earth is round if people hated you for it, and nor should people's hate of Muslims make you doubt Islam.   Also I think that if people think rationally rather than emotionally about evil and injustice in the world they wouldn't consider it much of a challenge to religion.

The second thing is there are texts that imply women's inferiority, and there are texts that imply their superiority, eg we have ahadith that say most people in heaven are women. Take a look at the thread linked below.  Ultimately Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is clear that taqwa is the yardstick (not gender).

 

 

 

 

Edited October 3 by .InshAllah.

[realizm]

I can relate too, although not with regards to misogyny because I am a male and also because I know Islam in itself is not misogynistic. 

Here it's more about the sanitary oppression which cut us from the rituals, weekly dhikr and all that. I had been regular for over a decade with very few exceptions. And since I stopped going not only because of governmental rules, but also because of zeal from communities -or is it lack of tawakul, no sure- I started to question some points of that 'community life' and think that maybe lonely worship is not that bad. But one direct effect that I could note is that indeed, I am less focused on religious issues than I used to be. 

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help us. 

Edited October 3 by realizm

[ShiaofAli12]

7 hours ago, rkazmi33 said:

Does anyone know why people have started constantly accusing people of being drunk or using alcohol? It's not just me, other people have also been accused. Spiritual abuse is worse than Islamophobia, I don't know if it is result of islamophobia. People keep track of what videos I watch on youtube and criticize me for wasting time if I spend any time on entertainment. Even my co-workers comment about videos I watch and this makes me so angry. I don't interfere in their lives, why are they constantly invading my privacy? I just hate all people and want to avoid interacting with them. But they don't even let me worship. Whenever they see me praying or fasting, they tell me praying and fasting will not help you if you don't give rights of people.  There is a whole website about spiritual abuse and it helps me to read about other people and they validate my experience. My family denies that they are involved in anything and they keep asking me why would speaker at mosque focus on you alone? And I also don't understand this why they are constantly focused my sins only? I sometimes think it's because of end of times and I am dealing with Dajjali forces. I recently heard from a rare kind speaker that we should read Sura Kahf to fight with Dajjal. I am going to try that. 

I am sorry my post is all over the place. I am typing on my  phone. 

Assalamu Alaikum Sister,

Is there a Sheikh or maybe a trusted friend you can speak to? I too am not sure why they would accuse you of such things, I'm not too sure how good of an option this will be but it may serve well to sit and have an honest talk with those family members that accuse you and ask them why and how it had led to this. Why have you started accusing me of such things. Hopefully that may resolve a few issues. If you don't feel comfortable confronting them about this stuff, maybe you could bring a trusted friend or a sheikh with you. If you've already done this, it may be good if you try again.

About your coworkers, if it has got to the extent of much toxicity, maybe you should leave that workplace. If they won't respect your privacy, it just goes to show what kind of people they are. They're not looking out for your best interest. If it is difficult to leave the job, maybe you could go to someone in charge and tell them about all of this and hopefully it can lead to some resolution.

I want to mention this as well, you said that your family focus so much on your sins, I read a hadith but cannot recall from who, is that if someone were to actively try and find the faults of their brother or sister, then God will expose their faults, maybe in this life, maybe in the next. I want to say that justice will soon arrive if not in this life, it will be in the next one. God (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) does not forget what you go through nor will he leave anything unaccounted for. Everything you've been through is seen by God. And on the day, where every soul will be recompensed, those who deal with you in such manners as you have mentioned will be asked about this. I know it's easier said than done, but do try to keep being patient until all these issues got resolved. God is Just and he will ask those who hurt you why they have done what they've done. 

With Duas and Salams.

11 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

@ShiaofAli12 thank you for your thoughtful message. I appreciate that we all go through moments where we experience dips in faith but this is the first time it has happened to such a degree which is why I'm feeling so troubled. I've felt disconnected to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and spirituality in the past but on this occasion I am outright doubting my faith in Islam. This feels very different. 

Nevertheless you have given me food for thought. Over the past year or so I have taken on some part-time formal Islamic study but I think committing to a series of lectures may be a good way to go as lecture series give a more motivating/ inspiring angle than academic study. Also reflecting and digging deeper into Qur'an is a good suggestion. 

If you could point me to some of the relevant/ helpful Imam Ali hadith you mention about feeling disconnected to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) that might be helpful.

Assalam Alaikum Sister,

With regards to the hadith, it may take a while before I can find it because I read this one a few years back, but I'll post it here if I find them,

In this regard, we have to try to revive your faith in Islam and connection with God. Most of the doubt that does appear can be from the shaytaan just trying to mislead you and he might be using what you're going through in terms of community and friends to do that. Whatever doubts that are occuring in your mind, ask about them on here,  maybe ask a pious friends or even a local sheikh. Islam does not prohibit asking questions. In terms of hijab, try to do some research and discover the true beauty behind the hijab, its meaning etc. Do the same for prayer, try to understand the meaning behind what we do and say, from the initial takbir all the way to the ending salam.

I know this may seem weird but it did help me. Go to a place or a room where you can be alone and just repeat in your mind, "Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is my beloved" and "Alhamdulillah", in this case try to let your heart say these words and not just through the motion of the tongue. Let your heart do the speaking.

17 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

My genuine faith and love the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) isn’t there anymore. Tbh although I’ve always had utmost respect for the Ahlulbayt I’ve never had enough knowledge to develop a deep love for them but now I have little interest for them.  

It's good you always had the utmost respect for the Prophet (SAWS) and the Ahulbayt (عليه السلام). Try this time to grow that love by going through the details of their lives and the amazing books and resources they created to help us. Whenever you're free, do some reading on https://www.al-islam.org/ or maybe find a lecture online about them. We want to reignite our love for them and we can do that by understanding how much God loved them, and how great they were.

17 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

6) Although I am blessed with a good job, income, good friends and family I have struggled to find a husband and have prayed for this (and been very proactive) yet nothing has come off this.  Deep down I feel like this is a simple ask but why has God not granted me with this. Also if God has created me with a need for companionship and physical affection why would this not be fulfilled? 

With regards to this, it may be that God (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is delaying your marriage for a certain reason that we do not know of. It can range from mulitple reasons but we can't understand because only God (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) truly know what's best for us. Maybe at the present time, it would not be in your best interest (God knows the result of actions). There is always a time and place for everything. It may be that God (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) wants you to make more du'a so he can reward you more. There are many more potential reasons we do not know of.

Just a final fruit for thought. For me, the first step was to take the initiative to start learning more about Islam and that really helped. This includes trying to learning the true meaning about salaat and how to improve it, going into the tafsir of the qur'an, that sort of stuff. Do this with the sole intention of seeking nearness to God. Going through these lectures really helped and I think it can help you too https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLWDyY0v4a8BDuu0Iy8VmZJsQwdy4iyBN7.

Hope this helps.

With Duas and Salams.

 

Edited October 3 by ShiaofAli12
grammer

[rkazmi33]

1 hour ago, ShiaofAli12 said:

Assalamu Alaikum Sister,

Is there a Sheikh or maybe a trusted friend you can speak to? I too am not sure why they would accuse you of such things, I'm not too sure how good of an option this will be but it may serve well to sit and have an honest talk with those family members that accuse you and ask them why and how it had led to this. Why have you started accusing me of such things. Hopefully that may resolve a few issues. If you don't feel comfortable confronting them about this stuff, maybe you could bring a trusted friend or a sheikh with you. If you've already done this, it may be good if you try again.

About your coworkers, if it has got to the extent of much toxicity, maybe you should leave that workplace. If they won't respect your privacy, it just goes to show what kind of people they are. They're not looking out for your best interest. If it is difficult to leave the job, maybe you could go to someone in charge and tell them about all of this and hopefully it can lead to some resolution.

I want to mention this as well, you said that your family focus so much on your sins, I read a hadith but cannot recall from who, is that if someone were to actively try and find the faults of their brother or sister, then God will expose their faults, maybe in this life, maybe in the next. I want to say that justice will soon arrive if not in this life, it will be in the next one. God (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) does not forget what you go through nor will he leave anything unaccounted for. Everything you've been through is seen by God. And on the day, where every soul will be recompensed, those who deal with you in such manners as you have mentioned will be asked about this. I know it's easier said than done, but do try to keep being patient until all these issues got resolved. God is Just and he will ask those who hurt you why they have done what they've done. 

 

Wasalam! Thank you for taking the time to read about my problems and suggest solutions. About my workplace, I have worked at different companies and this is actuslly less toxic than other places I have worked. There are very few people and I have the freedom to leave the room pretending I have to do work in another room when they are talking about me. When I started, I learned few test from a nice muslim co-worker and then they hired new people, who were all toxic. Their issue is that I am not learning anything new and the only reason is I have to learn new test from those toxic co-workers and I just don't want to spend time with them. I am avoiding this for as long as I can. 

Regarding my family, it's because one or both of my parents are narcissist and we always had that golden child/ scapegoat dynamic in my family. When we were kids, I was the golden child and my sister was scape goat. Now the roles are reversed. When I was a golden child, I never treated my sister bad, always tried to be kind to her but she has so much resentment towards me and now she is taking revenge. I guess now they just want me to get married. I am 39 years old and they want me to get married and have kids ASAP. I have tried asking for help from scholars but my parents have money and community's powerful people on their side. Not wanting to get married is apparently enough proof for someone living a sinful life and becoming an apostate. 

[sirat-al-nur]

Salaam Sister,
Although one genuinely feels pain at reading of others struggles, I’m so thankful that you took the initiative to share your thoughts, feelings and experiences with us and reached out. If anything, that shows a sincere quality within yourself in your pursuit of truth and inner peace.

As such, I will attempt to address the topics you’ve mentioned in hope that they can help in some small way, wa ‘ala Allah al-Tawfiq.

The 1^st point:

Regarding the Injustice and pain in the world and the Justice of God:

I think this goes back to your understanding of God and the world, you recognize the existence of a higher power, that does not mean this higher power must be involved directly in the world with regards to the affairs of the creation. It is not unjust of God not be involved, rather God has given us relative freedom of will in order to strive to be good. Your very ability to recognize pain and suffering is God given. God gave you that ability not to just feel/recognize pain, but to also react to it. Imagine if you had a rotten tooth or a failing organ, if you did not feel pain, you would not recognize something is wrong and you would leave it until it affects your entire body and it would lead to your demise. Does this mean pain is a bad thing? Had that pain not been there would you have taken the initiative to change? This is on an individual level, on a social level you recognize evil and see/feel pain for the same reason, either/or to play a role in resisting that evil or to protect yourself and your loved ones from that evil. God did not create us just in order to believe and die and go to heaven, we have an active role as a human species endowed with intellect to participate collectively in the betterment of the world. This role is yours to take on. You might also be meaning, why did God create us with the ability to perform such evil and such injustice? This is a discussion of the metaphysical principles of creation, one that I won’t go into but you can read about it if you’re interested. Instead, I’ll suffice with it being the only logical/rational way of being. You cannot have darkness without light, and you cannot have “good” without “evil”, if you potentially can do “excess evil” than you also have the ability to do “excess good” and they’re two sides of the same coin, like your reality and your shadow, they are inseparable.

The 2^nd point:

Secular societies view of religion per se isn’t that simple, strive to understand it. If you see the suffering that the West undertook under the rule of the Church you’ll understand why those sentiments are there and why anyone who seemingly, even if by their dress, seems to adhere to a faith-based way of life and advocates it, is deemed a threat and someone calling for a return to the horrendous suffering western societies went through. Most people’s first thoughts would go to the church’s prosecution of Galileo but that’s not what I am referring to per se, look instead at the Church’s view on sexuality for example. How repressive they were and how even married couples were told they should not enjoy intercourse with their spouses and instead “think of Big Ben” in order not to feel pleasure. Among many other things that is, not to prolong the answer. This is in no way justifying them belittling, abusing, and/or treating religious individuals as second-class citizens. Rather what I’m saying is trying to understand where they are coming from, historically, it is not baseless hate towards religion. You symbolize to them the very thing they fought to destroy and be rid of and that caused them suffering, even though that is so far from the truth in that you are a Muslim and hold beliefs contrary to the Church at that time and are not interested in enforcing anything on anyone. Religion as a whole is not appreciated nor are their adherents, especially in the intellectual circles. The media itself constantly reminds people of past oppressions, and so they are raised on that understanding, so you are deemed as a threat because your hijab clearly singles you out as an adherent to a faith and they make judgement on you based on your appearance alone because to them it’s a statement rather than a choice of modesty etc. In that case you have to work with what you have to be honest, it’s not an ideal position to be in, but it is a reality that you and many other sisters face every day. If I were in your shoes, one thing I would do is try to change this viewpoint not for my own sake but for the sake of my children and grandchildren by being successful and upholding your religious beliefs at the same time. Look at Muhammad Ali for example, he didn’t look Muslim (nothing specific that identifies him other than his name, meaning like a hijab), but he claimed to be a representative of the Nation of Islam (similar to how hijab can be viewed as Islamic representation), which wasn’t even a proper faith and he was a follower of a false prophet that called White men devils and called for segregation etc. yet because he was heavyweight champion of the world and was successful and had great following, it didn’t stop him from being invited to Harvard and other universities, television programmes/shows, to speak his mind which at the time mainly consisted of his beliefs (which later changed). He was able to preach racism and segregation on many stages and behind many pulpits. Become successful in any field/profession of your choice, and people will look beyond the outward appearance and see that you have what they don’t and can appreciate you as an individual just like them, and that your religious beliefs didn’t stop you from being successful.

The 3^rd point:

I think the subject of Misogyny in classical texts, has been addressed well by other members replies. I won’t add much more other than, we cannot erase history, these texts have to remain as they are so that future generations can study and identify the red flags in terms of hadith literature, and secondly no one makes the claim these texts are absolute truth or that they are all true. If that was the case, I’d be worried just as you are for my mother/sister/daughter. Fact of the matter is, it’s a historical phenomena and as others mentioned we know such things to be contrary to the actions of the Prophet (sawa) himself and the Imams ((عليه السلام)) and the Holy Qu’ran.

The 4^th point:

Refer to the second part of the 2^nd point.
What I would add to that is, recognizing this phenomenon of abandoning the hijab, especially by people you love and respect and the doubts that would occur as a result is understandable. It’s not easy to see, and not easy to understand or to ignore. The idea isn’t being an adherent of Islam just because it’s Islam but because of the truth in Islam. Strengthen your foundations, and your understanding of religion, and be open to questioning, to question isn’t to abandon it, the angels themselves questioned God on the same matters you wrote about. Did they not say, when God announced he was creating a “representative” on earth, a human, that they will be corrupt and shed blood? This issue is addressed, and this question is made in the very beginning of the Qur’an so it’s not like we are encouraged to blindly believe and not question. These subjects have been and are being addressed it’s upon us to look and see what the scholars came up with and if they haven’t to insist, and push them to address them and not shy away from seeking the truth.

The 5^th point:

With regards to mental health, you’re obviously doing the right thing, seeking professional help. I personally know how it feels and feel for you. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) ease your struggle and pain, help you through it by the rights of Muhammad and his Holy Household (sawa).

 The 6^th point:

Your struggle to find a spouse is so common these days, unfortunately. In terms of your dua not being answered, that’s not necessarily the case, it’s not about asking and getting, but getting what’s right and at the right time. Look sister, we don’t know our own good, let’s at least agree on that. I’ll speak for myself right now in saying my outlook has changed time and time again, I’ve made mistakes time and time again, I’ve made decisions that I thought were right but later came to regret them wishing I knew back then, what I know now. I don’t mean it on a daily basis but if I survey my life from the time, I became aware and mature, it’s what I come to, at the end of the day my experiences and my maturement are a result of decisions made with good intentions that had bad outcomes. It’s a human experience we all go through, it’s part of growing up.

So, if we can agree on the fact that we at times don’t know our own good, then lets also agree that maybe there’s something we need to get out of the way first. Sometimes it’s the mindset, you might like what isn’t good for you. Many men and women learn through divorce what they actually want/like and more precisely what is good for them and what works. I’m sure you don’t want to go through that and learn that way so maybe there’s some learning that needs to be done, about yourself or others? I have very few friends and relatives who haven’t gotten divorced and remarried. It’s sad to say, but it is what it is. So, if anything be thankful your at least not with a partner that’s emotional/physically/mentally abusive or not fit for you. Do your part in ‘being out there’ in a sense, at weddings or centers, or gatherings where you can be seen and interact with the older sisters (if there is that kind of setting where you’re at) as much as possible, because if people don’t know you the potential spouse won’t just be suggested or spontaneously appear. If you have done that or are doing that, then work on yourself internally and focus on your mental health and understanding at the moment, and continue to do so until you meet your potential spouse. There is wisdom in what is given and what is withheld so try to submit to Gods will and try to understand and make sense of it. (not saying that its necessarily a problem on your end, but I know for me it definitely was and I learnt the hard way because I was stubborn.).

I pray you find a spouse that loves and appreciates you and that you are compatible with and is good for you and is good to you by the rights of Muhammad and his Holy Household (sawa).

Sorry for the extremely long response. It’s hard to believe, but I tried to keep it short. Forgive me if I made any assumptions about you, I tried to work with what I had.
Sending prayers and peace your way.

[Shahrukh K]

15 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

 I am going to ignore you as you sound like a troll.

Salam HopefulBeliever.

[Cool]

23 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

I currently don’t feel the presence of God in my heart like I used to and it’s been like that for the past month or so. 

May be, the way you perceived God in your heart, was wrong. He is with you whether you feel it or not. 

و هو معكم اين ما كنتم

23 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

My genuine faith and love the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) isn’t there anymore. Tbh although I’ve always had utmost respect for the Ahlulbayt I’ve never had enough knowledge to develop a deep love for them but now I have little interest for them.  

How can you define your "love" for Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)? And how can the love of Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) remains in your heart when you have lost the love of God?

Know that the love of God & the love of Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) are directly proportional to each other. We love and follow Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) because we love Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). We love Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) because we are for Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and to Him shall we return. 

The love of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), His Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) and the love of Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام) are also directly proportional. One cannot just jump into the city of knowledge, he always need to enter into it through its gate. So if you don't have the love of Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام) in your heart how can there be love for Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) & His Apostle remain in your heart!!!

23 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

I’ve occasionally read the Quran over the past few weeks and although I do enjoy the melodical nature of it hasn’t helped.

Sister!!! I advise you to daily read, a little bit of the Holy Quran, as per your convenience. It's nature is not melodical at all. Quran is a living, breathing book. It's nature is to give life to lifeless hearts. Its nature is to cure diseased hearts. Quran is light in itself so try your best to remove darkness with this divine light. 

23 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

1) I get overwhelmed by the level of pain and injustice in the world a lot of the time and perhaps can’t reconcile this with the belief there is a just God.

Strange!!!

So if I brutally kill a boy infront of you, you are going to doubt on the justice of God? Or in the existence of a Just God?

If I withhold every resource with me and deprive people from the basic necessities, would you doubt on the existence of Just God? 

Belief in God Almighty, itself is the answer to every injustice. Otherwise who will do the justice with the ones who lived this limited worldly life unjustly by oppressing, depriving and killing the others? 

23 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

I’m living in a secular society where there is always a strong anti-religion sentiment and liberal culture and media. There is some islamaphobia and as a hijabi even if it’s not explicit you are under estimated and treated as a second class citizen. 

You are living in the presence of your Lord Almighty. Does this truth alone makes a difference to you? 

23 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

As a woman I feel there is very little space to be well and truly part of Islamic mosques and spaces. Women are always tucked into a side room and I genuinely feel like a second class citizen in Muslim spaces. Again, I feel that women are underestimated in the Muslim community as a whole and are not treated as an equal.

If you are facing problem in getting entrance into mosques or if you are being treated unjustly, would you stop giving thanks to the One who gave you this precious life? Would you start doubting on His justice? 

How would you connect to your Lord, if you are living at antarctica or at space where you will find no mosque?

And lastly ask yourself, why you feel the need to even go to the mosque? It is not necessary to go to mosque for worshiping your God. A better way is to turn your heart into mosque, turn your very being into mosque, turn yourself into a place where the name of Lord Almighty is glorified. 

23 hours ago, HopefulBeliever said:

The most recent one is about a Hadith that says Imam Mahdi’s army (AF) will have a lot more men than women and justifies this by hinting that women are inferior (I can’t remember the exact reasoning or wording). 

If I were in your place, I would put every sincere effort to be among those few women who will be in his army. 

Have you seen the army of Imam Sajjad (عليه السلام)? He was the single man in his army, rest of his army contain women and orphans (children). 

So out of billions of men how many would be in the army of Imam Mehdi? Any idea or any figure you may know? 

And who would be the mothers of all those men who will be in the army of Imam Mehdi (عليه السلام)?

On 10/3/2021 at 11:39 AM, HopefulBeliever said:

I can count over 10+ friends or acquaintances who have taken their hijab off over the past 5 years or so. One quite close friend who was very practising took her hijab off and told me she is not convinced about Islam and is searching for the truth. I wonder if to some degree this has had an impact on me. When she said this to me at the time I was very sad, disappointed and worried for her. 

You know a famous scientist Galileo was died in prison because he refused to accept the idea that sun is revolving around the earth. Once he was threatened that the church will hang him for going against the stance of church and continue to propagate that the earth revolve around sun. Galileo said, so by hanging me, would the sun start to revolve around the earth? 

Make yourself agree to accept every truth and convince yourself first before practicing anything. You must know first why you arr doing anything whether hijab or whether offering prayers.

Actual hijab relates to your heart, your physical appearance, covering yourself is meaningless if you don't have inner purity. 

On 10/3/2021 at 11:39 AM, HopefulBeliever said:

Although I am blessed with a good job, income, good friends and family I have struggled to find a husband and have prayed for this (and been very proactive) yet nothing has come off this.  Deep down I feel like this is a simple ask but why has God not granted me with this. Also if God has created me with a need for companionship and physical affection why would this not be fulfilled? 

Time to quote few verse of Quran:

اعْلَمُوا أَنَّمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا لَعِبٌ وَلَهْوٌ وَزِينَةٌ وَتَفَاخُرٌ بَيْنَكُمْ وَتَكَاثُرٌ فِي الْأَمْوَالِ وَالْأَوْلَادِ ۖ كَمَثَلِ غَيْثٍ أَعْجَبَ الْكُفَّارَ نَبَاتُهُ ثُمَّ يَهِيجُ فَتَرَاهُ مُصْفَرًّا ثُمَّ يَكُونُ حُطَامًا ۖ وَفِي الْآخِرَةِ عَذَابٌ شَدِيدٌ وَمَغْفِرَةٌ مِنَ اللَّهِ وَرِضْوَانٌ ۚ وَمَا الْحَيَاةُ الدُّنْيَا إِلَّا مَتَاعُ الْغُرُورِ {20}

[Shakir 57:20] Know that this world's life is only sport and play and gaiety and boasting among yourselves, and a vying in the multiplication of wealth and children, like the rain, whose causing the vegetation to grow, pleases the husbandmen, then it withers away so that you will see it become yellow, then it becomes dried up and broken down; and in the hereafter is a severe chastisement and (also) forgiveness from Allah and (His) pleasure; and this world's life is naught but means of deception.

And in the same chapter, you will find these verses:

مَا أَصَابَ مِنْ مُصِيبَةٍ فِي الْأَرْضِ وَلَا فِي أَنْفُسِكُمْ إِلَّا فِي كِتَابٍ مِنْ قَبْلِ أَنْ نَبْرَأَهَا ۚ إِنَّ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى اللَّهِ يَسِيرٌ {22}

[Yusufali 57:22] No misfortune can happen on earth or in your souls but is recorded in a decree before We bring it into existence: That is truly easy for Allah:

لِكَيْلَا تَأْسَوْا عَلَىٰ مَا فَاتَكُمْ وَلَا تَفْرَحُوا بِمَا آتَاكُمْ ۗ وَاللَّهُ لَا يُحِبُّ كُلَّ مُخْتَالٍ فَخُورٍ {23}

[Yusufali 57:23] In order that ye may not despair over matters that pass you by, nor exult over favours bestowed upon you. For Allah loveth not any vainglorious boaster,-

So look at the favors you are enjoying, as for you marriage issue, even I can marry you if you or your family have no objection on that. Your problem resolution is that easy.

Wassalam!!

[Ashvazdanghe]

On 10/3/2021 at 1:39 AM, HopefulBeliever said:

The most recent one is about a Hadith that says Imam Mahdi’s army (AF) will have a lot more men than women and justifies this by hinting that women are inferior (I can’t remember the exact reasoning or wording). 

Salam this is totally wrong coclusion from hadith because at first clearly in Islam doing Jihad is not obligated on women & secondly in hadith in Imam Mahdi’s army (AF) has been said that women would taken care of injured army members in similar fashion of prophet Muhammad(pbu)'s army  which lady Fatima (sa) has cured injuries  of prophet  Muhammad  (pbu) & Imam Ali (عليه السلام)  in battle  of Uhud even «نسیبة بنت کعب الانصاریه» <<Nasiba bint Ka'ab al-Ansarieh>> which has known  as " Umm Ayman " which has been distributing  water between muslim army after running away of so called companions  has protected from life of prophet  Muhammad  (pbu) which she has injured when he was protecting  protecting  prophet  Muhammad (pbu) which prophet has smiled & said about her " Whenever I looked to the right and to the left, I saw her fighting 

ما التفت یمیناً و لاشمالاً إلاّ و أنا أراها تقاتل دونی " & " The position of Nasibeh on that day is better than the position of so-and-so لمقام نسیبة بنت کعب الیوم خیر من مقام فلان و فلان"

Therefore women are not inferior in Imam Mahdi’s army (AF) which their ruling is in similar fashion  of  ruling of women in prophet  Muhammad (pbu)'s army .

Quote

Imam Ja’far ibn Muhammad as-Sadiq (peace be upon them both) has said: “There will be thirteen women alongside al-Qa’im [when he makes his advent].”

Al-Mufadhal [the narrator of this tradition] asked the Imam:“And what will their role be?”

The Imam replied:“They will treat the injured and look after the sick just as the [women did] at the time of the Messenger of Allah [during the battles].” (Ithbatul Hudat, Vol 7, Pg 150)

https://themuslimvibe.com/faith-islam/in-practice/preparing-for-the-twelfth-imam

 

Quote

Islam raised the woman’s status to the degree that even the Prophet ((صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم)) would do bey’ah with her (pledge allegiance) and she was allowed to take participation in battles against the non-believers as a nurse, teacher, encourager for the soldiers to follow and fight for the Messenger of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), or as one who trains righteous individuals.

She is a human who creates and trains humans and as the late Imam Khomeini puts it, “She is the one who man ascends from the lap of (towards the heavens)”.

Abdullah ibn Bukair quotes from Hamran that Imam Baqir (عليه السلام) said: “…during his time wisdom and knowledge will spread thoroughly, to the extent that the woman will judge in her house according to the Quran and the tradition of Rasulullah.”[2]

However, as was said before, the Islamic Revolution can be a small example of how it will be like then, and the role of women in the continuation and survival of the revolution during it and afterwards, can somehow clarify what role in that era women are to play. In relation to this matter, Imam Khomeini says: "Islam wants both men and women to grow and perfect,

He also states: "Not only doesn't Shi'ism deprive the woman of social life, but it places her in the high position of humanity that she is supposed to be. We accept the many developments the West has had in different fields, yet we reject their corruption that even they themselves are complaining and crying out about."[4]

Imam Khomeini also says: "From Islam's point of view, the woman plays an important role in the establishment of lslamic society, and Islam has raised the woman's status in a way that she is capable of obtaining her true position as a woman, and rather than being just a mere "thing" (as she was before), if qualified, she can even be of certain posts and responsibilities in the body of the Islamic government."[5]

While addressing a crowd of Iranian women, the leader of the Islamic revolution says: "Both religious and political insight can be found among Iranian women, and (as a result of the Islamic Revolution) we no longer have the problems that wouldn't allow you to take part in political and religious activities, (therefore) I hope that all of you will reach a point in the near future, allowing you to train others."[6]

If one follows the logical course of the sayings of Imam Khomeini mentioned above, he/she will find it easier to predict and comprehend the woman's role during and after an Islamic revolution like that of Imam Mahdi (عليه السلام).

 

http://ensani.ir/fa/article/44801/حقوق-نظامی-زنان-در-صدر-اسلام

https://www.islamquest.net/en/archive/fa1394

Quote

The woman of today has witnessed a regression to a modern “Age of Ignorance.” By way of deceiving platitudes such as “the equality of men and women,” “freedom,” “women’s suffrage,” and “human rights,” the political and economic leaders of the world have turned women into cheap labourers and playthings in the hands of men, thereby stripping them of their very humanity. A woman’s chastity, no matter what position she holds, is vulnerable to such exploitation.

Imam al-Mahdi’s (ع) revolution will overturn the world order and unify the entire world under the banner of true Islam. The status of women will be no exception from this new order, for women will be returned to their rightful station.

 

https://www.al-islam.org/faith-and-reason/question-28-role-women-government-imam-al-mahdi

Women in the Army of Imam Mahdi as & Women's Role for

Role of women in imam mahdi army

The Awaited - Role of women during the occulatation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ceM9tX1xbc

Position of Women-Dr Sayed Ammar Nakshawani. - YouTube

313 and Role of Women |Shia Islamic Scholar Zakia Batool Najafi

https://www.aparat.com/v/8t1co/

Role of women during the occulatation and return of Imam (Dr Rebecca Masterton presents this weeks show.)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ceM9tX1xbc

[Abdul Rahim al-Hasan]

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته

 

إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ

Surat Al-Faatiha : 5

سورة الفاتحة : ٥

You [alone] do we worship, and to You [alone] do we turn for help.

 

In the name of Allah, the all-Merciful, All-Gracious, The Loving, That has no partners in creation and who is One that being can not be described as the creation by limitation in a way asking how. Whom Eternality of existence can not be questioned in stages of why that are existence of will what had been and is been created when said "Be and it is!". Glory to be the First that is Originator for stages of the why, and the relationships of the how. Glory to be Whom existence can not be located by distances of where or direction of motion but whom ever presence is with witnesses where ever they are. Glory to be Allah to whom all before comes as slaves and to whos glory everything glorifies ways the one who made them to glorify glory with praise.  Wise, Magnificent Lord to Whom can not be attributed those descriptions what has been brought to existence in the decrees of mercy and graciousness that everything is created by. Allah is One, Only, Self sufficient, Just that has no need for the creation. The injustice can not be attributed to all-knowing and all-powerful and can be only described to creation that has needs and desires to lead astray to ignorance and actions without knowledge. All-Wise has no need for creation but all creation is in a need of their Creator and in the need of the Guidance of their Creators to bounties knowledge and sustenance granted to them according to divine decree. Ungratefulness will strive the bounties away and the gratefulness of the bounties of creators mercifulness towards the creation will multiply the benefits of the goodness. Muhammed´s name comes from the Allahs name praised and praiseworthy as Muhammed is the glorifier and praiser of Creator who made everything to glorify glory with praise chosen by the creator. Muhammed is glorifying the praise of the Lord of the worlds with the praise of the Lord of worlds. 

 

Turn towards Your Lord who is all-knowing, all-powerful. Praise the glory of the Lord of the world in the heart of yours where ever you have to go to fulfill your obligatory duties. Use your hijab cover self praising nature inwardly as well as outwardly and turn the glorifying in the praise of the Lord of the worlds.

 

The most well guarded secrets of Allah are the faithful belietresses.  

 

 

O Allah, send your blessings upon thy Chosen one, Prophet Muhammed and the Commander of the faithful Ali, Fatima al-Zahra, The originator, collector and divider of your divine light and Hasan and Husein whos names are the most good and beautiful as You have created everything with mercy and send our greetings of peace to these noble ones. Grants us the intersession of the twelfth Imam in this world and in the hereafter. Grant us knowledge to realize your presence in submission to thy will and increase patience in this time when tyranny and their agents spread their lies and mischief against Holy Prophet Muhammed and his Holy Household. Guide us to the straight path. Indeed one can not have patience without knowledge of Your presence and the decrees of lawful and unlawful and the bounties that are tied to benefit and upright with truth in lawful obligatory and recommended deeds and wretchedness and falsehood tied to the exceeding the limits of lawful. Grant us clearance to matters that are confusing so that there would be no doubts about the truth in the matters of your Holy Qurans meaning and balance. Hasten the reappearance of the Holy Imam and grant us acceptance to our prayer. You are the Holy, The most High. You have said do good and forbid evil. You have said that your love is not for those who exceed the limits as they reject the truth and decree and you have informed about your love for the good does and given good tidings to prophets about the garden that will be permanent dwelling place for the those who are grateful of thy bounties and ask forgiveness when they have astray. You accept the repentance of the repentant so in the name of Muhammed, Ali, Fatima, Hasan and Husein accept repentance of the repentant as you have promised to Prophet Adam (عليه السلام) and grant us knowledge that clears the confusion and guidance that leads to glorify thy Glory in the everlasting Garden.

 

 

Surat Al-Ikhlaas

سورة الإخلاص

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

قُلْ هُوَ اللَّهُ أَحَدٌ

اللَّهُ الصَّمَدُ
لَمْ يَلِدْ وَلَمْ يُولَدْ

وَلَمْ يَكُنْ لَهُ كُفُوًا أَحَدٌ

 

Surat Al-Faatiha : 1

سورة الفاتحة : ١

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

 

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ رَبِّ الْعَالَمِينَ

الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

مَالِكِ يَوْمِ الدِّينِ

إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ

اهْدِنَا الصِّرَاطَ الْمُسْتَقِيمَ

صِرَاطَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ غَيْرِ الْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا الضَّالِّينَ

 

 

[Andrew Israel]

Salam.  Just remember all the reverts out here who are struggling simply to keep the faith alive.  I would die to have my family and friends become Shias.  Although it’s a sad reality that right now they are not ready to do so.  Keep each other in our prayers that is all we can do.

[Abdul Rahim al-Hasan]

 

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

In the name of Allah, The most Merciful, The Most Gracious
ٱللَّٰهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَىٰ مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَجِّلْ فَرَجَهُمْ
O God, bless Muhammad and the Progeny of Muhammad, and hasten their alleviation

 

Imams of Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام) has said:

قال الإمام جعفر بن محمّد الصادق (عليه السلام) : "فطرهم علي التوحي

Said Imam Muhammed Jafar ibn Muhammed As-Sadiq (Peace be upon him): “Fitra is monoteism.” Ref. [2]

 

Every person in created with fitra. That is natural monoteism. Every person who testifies that there is no god but God and Muhammed is the Messenger and that Ali is the executive and guardian of Islam after Prophet Muhammed (SAAS). Any who has ever sinned has done shirk and astray from the straight path. 

 

إِيَّاكَ نَعْبُدُ وَإِيَّاكَ نَسْتَعِينُ

Surat Al-Faatiha : 5

سورة الفاتحة : ٥

You [alone] do we worship, and to You [alone] do we turn for help.

 

To make repentance and turn back to Allah seeking forgiveness is to revert back to the truth. Anyone who has sinned and made repentance had reverted back. 

 

Abstain from harm. Be content with what is enough. Allah will give knowledge you knowledge and you will be sure.

Commander of the faithfull, Ali ibn Abi Talib (عليه السلام) said: "155- As for those who abstain from receiving the worldly pleasures, show steadfastness against the worldly humiliation, and do not compete with others on the worldly reputation, Allah will guide them without the mediation of anybody, instruct them directly, fix wisdom in their hearts, and make them speak of wisdom."

 

 

In faith I leave you to All-Mighty, All-Hearing, All-Knowing

 

[Abdul Rahim al-Hasan]

Quote

Salam

If the worldly life is the goal, then Islam is oppressive towards women. If God and honor is the goal, then Islam is the best in honoring women.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ الرَّحْمَٰنِ الرَّحِيمِ

In the name of Allah, The most Merciful, The Most Gracious
ٱللَّٰهُمَّ صَلِّ عَلَىٰ مُحَمَّدٍ وَآلِ مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَجِّلْ فَرَجَهُمْ
O God, bless Muhammad and the Progeny of Muhammad, and hasten their alleviation

 

I disagree with your statement. One who earns this life will soon find it will not satisfy his or hers expectations. The wicked, wretched and prouds will fool themselves constantly. They fear world in ways that they feel that they need admiration from others or they wont feel deserved. Believer is content by the knowledge that the All-Mighty is ever present and has fullfilled all the needs of the believer feeling gratitude for the blessing that God has bestowed upon him in his life. The one who does not find satisfaction from what is enough will not find satisfaction from what is plenty either. He or she will not be pleased anything and feels despair in times of stress. Believer knows that what ever God has bestowed upon the believer is wise and best for the believer. Believer will be satisfied with what is enough and be steadfast in times of trials and tribulations. 

If you present Islam to be such way that it is not practice to worship of Allah and gain eternal Garden then you have not practiced Islam, but desires of the world, and you have misused the religion. Islam will gives dignity and respect to all creation according to decree and measure. It protects from the dangers of the worldly seeking pleasures and vain discussion by shedding light of understanding what is enough and necessary by observing obligatory and recommended acts and not exceeding the limits. The benefits of observing limits are obvious when the those seek word of this world will get confused about mercy of their Lord and the gracious bounties that Allah has bestowed generously upon them. Truth is with Islam and law of Allah. 

If anyone seek any other than this he or she will get confused in this life and will get eternal punishment in the hereafter. Allah is the most Generous, Lord. 

[ShiaofAli12]

Assalamu Alaikum,

I found this lecture by Dr Sheikh Shomali. I watched it and it was pretty good, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MW_gkd7hYdw&ab_channel=IslamicLecturesbyDrShomali

Try giving this a go.

With Duas and Salams.

[ShiaMan14]

On 10/3/2021 at 1:39 AM, HopefulBeliever said:

Salam alakum,

I’ve experienced peaks and troughs of faith during my life which I figure is normal however I’ve never felt the way I do right now. I currently don’t feel the presence of God in my heart like I used to and it’s been like that for the past month or so. My genuine faith and love the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) isn’t there anymore. Tbh although I’ve always had utmost respect for the Ahlulbayt I’ve never had enough knowledge to develop a deep love for them but now I have little interest for them.  

Salaam,

I am sorry to hear you are going through this. I think all of us have a crisis of faith every now and then.

The first recommendation I have is not definitely continue your salah. Once you get your faith back (and you will inshallah), then you won't have qada salah to make up for .

I read your post several times and what immediately jumped out at me was that all your issues are people related. While it is easier said than done, you shouldn't let bad people impact  your good faith. To put it another way, you are letting people impact your relationship with Allah in a negative manner.

I will cite a quote from Hz Zainab when she was asked how she found Allah treated her after Karbala. Most of us would be distraught and lamenting about how could Allah let this happen. Her response was the opposite. She responded, "I found nothing but the glory of Allah". She did not let the actions of people determine her faith in Allah.

I hope this quote inspires you into reading up more about Hz. Zainab and may be it will help move the needle in the direction of Allah.

[ShiaMan14]

On 10/3/2021 at 2:37 AM, starlight said:

I am sorry you are going through. I wish I could be of help but unfortunately I am in the same boat as you and so while I can relate I don't have any answers.

Many duas.

Only Allah's choicest people go through severe trials and tribulations. 

[ShiaMan14]

On 10/3/2021 at 10:46 AM, rkazmi33 said:

I have been dealing with loss of faith since 2019. For me, the biggest factor is spiritual abuse. I minimized contact with all abusive people in my life, but I have been religious, so bullies in my life started using scholars in islamic centers. That's why I have stopped going to the masjid. My parents want me to get married but I already had one bad experience. Due to my mental health right now, I don't want to get married right now and that's why they keep telling me to move out of house. I gave also been careless about my hijab. All non muslim men have weird hijab fetish, they become obsessed with me and due to this non muslim women hate me and they think I have bad character. Recently so many people, both muslims and non muslims have been accusing me of being drunk and high. I don't understand, they stare at my eyes and I need to have expressionless eyes. If I am happy or uncomfortable, they just assume I am using drugs. My community members compare me to yazeed and tell me that like him I drink alcohol. These are very bad accusations for a hijabi. They break my heart and I think if my community is abandoning me, then I will need to rely on non muslims and they don't like social hijab even if they tolerate someone wearing a hijab. That's why I have become very careless about my hijab. I don't know what have I done to get so many accusations from my community. They constantly call me apostate, I am out of control and they threaten to send me to Pakistan where I will be married off against my will. I don't do drugs, I never had a boyfriend. Now I am thinking that all those stories about western women who are sent back home because they have boyfriends, what if all of them are just accusations. I don't want to study religion because I am always so anxious about future. My family and all my extended family have been focused on me and it just feels like a mob attack. I am anxious, scared, I feel that I don't belong anywhere. Trump's time was really bad, so I was very excited after the election, hoping things will get better. 

Does anyone know why people have started constantly accusing people of being drunk or using alcohol? It's not just me, other people have also been accused. Spiritual abuse is worse than Islamophobia, I don't know if it is result of islamophobia. People keep track of what videos I watch on youtube and criticize me for wasting time if I spend any time on entertainment. Even my co-workers comment about videos I watch and this makes me so angry. I don't interfere in their lives, why are they constantly invading my privacy? I just hate all people and want to avoid interacting with them. But they don't even let me worship. Whenever they see me praying or fasting, they tell me praying and fasting will not help you if you don't give rights of people.  There is a whole website about spiritual abuse and it helps me to read about other people and they validate my experience. My family denies that they are involved in anything and they keep asking me why would speaker at mosque focus on you alone? And I also don't understand this why they are constantly focused my sins only? I sometimes think it's because of end of times and I am dealing with Dajjali forces. I recently heard from a rare kind speaker that we should read Sura Kahf to fight with Dajjal. I am going to try that. 

I am sorry my post is all over the place. I am typing on my  phone. 

Salaam,

Sometimes people can't raise their level so they try to bring higher folks down to their level. 

Allah is great; people are not.

[starlight]

22 hours ago, ShiaMan14 said:

Only Allah's choicest people go through severe trials and tribulations. 

Thank you for the kind words. I just pray Allah never stops showering his mercy on me otherwise I am lost,lol. 

[HopefulBeliever]

Salam alakum, 

First of all I'd like to thank you @sirat-al-nur for your wonderful, heartfelt  and thoughtful response. I have read your post a few times and it has made think about some things a bit differently. It also brings me a lot of comfort so thank you. Also, thank you to the kind soul who PM-ed me to offer their help and support (you know who you are). Honestly it's people like you who show me the potential of God's love, guidance and light and bring me some hope despite how I am feeling. Thanks to the others who have sent supportive messages too.

There are a few others who haven't really fully grasped where I'm at. I don't need things "proven" to me...or I am not here for a debate. I am having a genuine crisis of faith and have listed some of the potential reasons that may have influenced my change in heart.

As I have said, I have always experienced peaks and troughs with my level of spirituality  which I know is completely normal but never have I lost that connection with God. I don't feel him present, I don't feel that faith and love that I once felt. I say "alhamdillalah" but I don't feel anything. I pray and it is a purely physical act. My crisis is a crisis of the heart. This pains me. It's a struggle. Your duaas are much appreciated.

On 10/6/2021 at 1:38 PM, ShiaofAli12 said:

I found this lecture by Dr Sheikh Shomali. I watched it and it was pretty good, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MW_gkd7hYdw&ab_channel=IslamicLecturesbyDrShomali

P.S. thank you @ShiaofAli12 I will give this a listen inshA.

[Abu Hadi]

On 10/3/2021 at 2:39 AM, HopefulBeliever said:

Salam alakum,

I’ve experienced peaks and troughs of faith during my life which I figure is normal however I’ve never felt the way I do right now. I currently don’t feel the presence of God in my heart like I used to and it’s been like that for the past month or so. My genuine faith and love the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم) isn’t there anymore. Tbh although I’ve always had utmost respect for the Ahlulbayt I’ve never had enough knowledge to develop a deep love for them but now I have little interest for them.  

I’m still keeping up my salat but I’m doing it out of habit and I know I’m just going through the motions. I’ve occasionally read the Quran over the past few weeks and although I do enjoy the melodical nature of it hasn’t helped.

Sadly I have nobody to turn to about this  and I’m genuinely not sure what to do. It makes me sad because I want to bring this faith back. On the simplest level my identity is rooted in Islam so I want to resolve this for that reason. Also this life isn’t satisfactory enough and I want to believe there is something better to come. 

Just to fill you in on where my mind/ faith is at right now- from a purely logical view I have always known there to be a higher power and creator . Also there are parts of Islam I have always seen as very progressive and liberating for humanity and society (compared to any other system I have come across). I like the holistic nature of it. 

You may also wonder where these feelings may have come from and I don’t think I’d be able to pinpoint it exactly but here are some potential reasons in no particular order-— 

1) I get overwhelmed by the level of pain and injustice in the world a lot of the time and perhaps can’t reconcile this with the belief there is a just God.

2) I’m living in a secular society where there is always a strong anti-religion sentiment and liberal culture and media. There is some islamaphobia and as a hijabi even if it’s not explicit you are under estimated and treated as a second class citizen. 

3) As a woman I feel there is very little space to be well and truly part of Islamic mosques and spaces. Women are always tucked into a side room and I genuinely feel like a second class citizen in Muslim spaces. Again, I feel that women are underestimated in the Muslim community as a whole and are not treated as an equal. Please note that my family and friendship circles are quite progressive in that regard. I’ve always been surrounded by successful and confident women and have been raised to be my best self (professionally and spirituality).

4) One thing that I have always struggled with is the embedded misogyny in Islamic text - whether it is Hadith, Qur’an etc. As somebody who is very very passionate about women’s rights this has always been a struggle for me. Any time I mentally come to terms with one Hadith or aya another one crops up. The most recent one is about a Hadith that says Imam Mahdi’s army (AF) will have a lot more men than women and justifies this by hinting that women are inferior (I can’t remember the exact reasoning or wording). 

4) I can count over 10+ friends or acquaintances who have taken their hijab off over the past 5 years or so. One quite close friend who was very practising took her hijab off and told me she is not convinced about Islam and is searching for the truth. I wonder if to some degree this has had an impact on me. When she said this to me at the time I was very sad, disappointed and worried for her. 

5) I am currently experiencing some mental health issues- depression, existential issues, anxiety which contributes to my inability to see beauty in the world. These issues have always existed though and my faith has helped get me through. I have decided that I need professional help so am seeking a therapist (bit of a struggle to find one right now). 

6) Although I am blessed with a good job, income, good friends and family I have struggled to find a husband and have prayed for this (and been very proactive) yet nothing has come off this.  Deep down I feel like this is a simple ask but why has God not granted me with this. Also if God has created me with a need for companionship and physical affection why would this not be fulfilled? 

If you have read this post all the way through, thank you for taking the time out to do this. I am here because I have nobody to turn to. Any help or guidance is welcome. Although I am quite thick skinned I would appreciate your compassion/ empathy too. 

Salam. I can relate about living in a secular society where religion is pushed to the side. There are two points I'd like to make on this. 

What is the name for mankind in the Quran, it is Nas. The word Nas comes from nasa, which means 'he forgot'. So this is telling you that the nature of mankind, both men and women, is to forget. So it is not you, it is everyone. The difference is that you are aware of this (you know that you are forgetting) which means you haven't forgotten completely and you still have hope. The bigger problem would be if you got to the point where you weren't even aware that you forgot (about Allah(s.w.a)). Then you would be in category of those who forgot about Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), so Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) forgot about them. This doesn't mean literally that He(s.w.a) forgot about them, because Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) doesn't forget, but it means he left them to their own devices and withdrew his guidance (Hidaya) from them. 

So to not be in that situation, above, you must find ways to 'not forget'. I think one of the best ways is not just to do the dhikr and ibadat mechanically, trying to tick boxes (I did this, I did that), but to contemplate on Quran, and Dua, and authentic hadith of the Imams((عليه السلام)). You don't need to be in a masjid or a gathering to do this. You can pick up the Quran, and instead of just 'blowing thru it' trying to finish as many Surats and Ayats as possible in between doing other things, it is better to take one ayat and really understand it and contemplate on it. There are many resources to do this, A few of them are 

Quran Corpus

Al Mizan

I can post others if requested, but these are the top two. When the Quran becomes part of your heart, so that you understand it (at least on a surface level), this is something that acts as a safeguard against 'forgetting'. The other thing I would say is watching what you consume, as far as media. The t.v., videos shows you watch, what you listen to, the people you hang around and what they say, the games you play online, all these have an affect on your faith. You remember the saying 'You are what you eat'. Well, in fact, you are what you consume thru your ears and eyes. These go to your brain and affect how you think about the world and how you think about Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). That is why muslims, and especially followers of Ahl Al Bayt((عليه السلام)) are encouraged to severly restrict their consumption of media that has themes and subjects which are haram (sexual content, content which mocks God, religion, Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h), etc) or which are Ghoroor (content which takes you away from the remembrance of Allah). Content like music (Western pop music, rap, music which is used primarily for dancing between men and women or other haram purposes), excessively violent video games, etc. 

So I would say the first step is to try and severely restrict the Ghoroor content and completely eliminate the haram content. This way your mind will be clear so that when you seek to contemplate Quran and above, you can do that without being hindered by this type of content circulating in your mind. 

I will try to answer some of your other points. 

As to your point 1, you have probably heard the hadith, 'The root of all bad things (oppression, injustice, etc) is disobedience of Allah, and the root of disobedience of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) is love of the dunya (this lower world)'. Because Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) gave us (us meaning mankind) free will, i.e. the ability to disobey Him(s.w.a), that means that some people will do that and the result of that will be the bad things which you mentioned. That is the nature of this dunya. There is nothing you can do to change that. You can't save the world, but you can save yourself by not doing that (disobey Allah) so that the bad things will not happen to you. Also, yes, there are innocent people who suffer, and the reason why that is has been addressed in many lectures and hadith from Imams((عليه السلام)) including the hadith of Mufaddhal by Imam Sadiq((عليه السلام)). If that is your specific question, I can post that hadith and we can discuss it

2. I can't speak for all the masajid and what they do. Maybe some do treat women as second class citizens. If they do that, then I would find another masjid. The reason for the separation of men and women in the mosque is because Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h) and all the Imams((عليه السلام)) highly discouraged men and women who are not mahram from mixing freely together with no purpose in doing that. I know, living in a Western society where this happens all the time it seems strange to you. but that is the purpose for it. Western society, where this is not done (i.e. the segregation on a limited basis) has huge problems connected to this (rape, abortion being common, adulatory being common, divorce, sexual assault etc) which we don't want to happen in the Muslim community (although it does happen but it is far less common). This is actually done to protect women from men who have bad intentions and to protect women from violating their dignity which Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) gave them. It is not an excuse to treat women as second class citizens. 

For the mental health issues, you should try what I said above. If this doesn't help you, then maybe your issues are biologically based, and not behavioral. In that case, you should consult an expert in this area, but try as hard as you can to find one who is muslim, a women, and ideally a follower of Ahl Al Bayt((عليه السلام)), as I think this will bring the best results for you.

As far as your friends who have taken off their hijab, first, don't let this affect your faith. Them doing this doesn't change your responsibilities toward Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), it doesn't change the Quran or clear teaching of Ahl Al Bayt((عليه السلام)) which clearly designate wearing the hijab (covering of the hair, neck, and body where form of the body cannot be clearly evident) as wajib, obligatory. At the same time, you should still try to keep these ladies as friends, provided they are not actively trying to pull you into haram. You should be a good example of aklaq for them, and not condemn them or try to preach to them unless they specifically ask you. You having good aklaq with them and continuing to wear your hijab will have much more effect on them (in a positive way) than chastising them or trying to preach to them. 

 

Salam. 

Edited October 17 by Abu Hadi

[Ashvazdanghe]

[Abu Hadi]

On 10/3/2021 at 3:37 AM, starlight said:

I am sorry you are going through. I wish I could be of help but unfortunately I am in the same boat as you and so while I can relate I don't have any answers.

Many duas.

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help you. 

What I never struggled with my basic faith, belief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h), I am constantly struggling with myself, because I am constantly disappointed in myself because I think I could be a better muslim, be a better helper of myself and my community. That is my main struggle. My other struggle is being in an environment (in my workplace) where there are no other muslims, so constantly running into awkward situations dealing with this. On top of that, I look like a typical white American man (whatever that is) and I don't have a muslim name. So people have no idea I am muslim unless I specifically tell them. Even then, they kind of don't believe me, look at me with a weird look. So that's another thing I deal with which I don't know if anyone else does. My wife, while she wears hijab, which is difficult sometimes, she has an Arabic first name, and she looks Arab, so it is easy for people to understand her, although some don't like it. When I tell people I am muslim, they are totally surprised, sometimes in a good way (if they are muslim) but mostly in not a good way, lol. 

Edited October 17 by Abu Hadi

[starlight]

On 10/17/2021 at 6:13 PM, Abu Hadi said:

May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) help you. 

What I never struggled with my basic faith, belief in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and Rasoulallah(p.b.u.h), I am constantly struggling with myself, because I am constantly disappointed in myself

Thank you for the kind dua and sharing your struggles. May Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) reward you for your toils to attain nearness to him and become a better Muslim.

You are someone I have consistently admired for his steadfastness towards religion ,strong and clear beliefs and dedication towards helping people in your community. The last one is something which I see so many born Muslims failing at and in my opinion this could be the key deciding factor on یوم القیامہ, because that's what form the core of 'Huqooq il-ibad'. So you are doing a great job. The real thing is not to face any struggles but to remain firm on your path despite the struggles,and you are doing just that!

Mine were more internal,  difficult to explain but I found myself questioning everything I believed other than 'توحید', lol thankfully not that. I am taking my time to slowly reconcile myself after a very turbulent period.

[Abu Hadi]

Salam, Thank you for those kind words. 

I think the main way that you stay grounded in the basics and stay firm on those is 

1) Doing the Wajibat consistently (the wajib salat, fasting, khums, hajj). Of these, the Salat consistently and on time is the most important, and this has been discussed in many, many hadith. 

2) Constantly striving to increase your knowledge of the religion. Studying Quran, learning to read the Quran in Arabic and understanding what you are saying, studying authentic hadith, etc. 

3) Having a community of people around you who are also firm in their Iman and consistent in their Ibadat. 

I think in the overwhelming majority of cases, reverts to Islam are lacking in No. 3. Without a community of people around you, at least a few people, it is difficult to maintain you Iman and Ibadat at a high level. To tell you the truth, this is the problem that I have been looking for a solution for since I became Muslim. How do you create a community like this ? I think I am very fortunate because I have my family (1/2 of whom also reverted) and a few close friends and also my wife's family who fit this description and who I get along with. If I didn't have this and had to do it on my own, I doubt I could have stayed firm in my Iman.