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In the Name of God بسم الله

Lies before marriage

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This is not an issue I have faced but rather an acquaintance. Before marriage, this acquaintance very much valued their own chastity and the chastity of their potential spouse. The acquaintance made it clear to the other person that chastity was a deal breaker for them, but the potential spouse lied about their chastity and then a while after the nikah felt guilty and told the truth. In a case like this, assuming that your spouse meets your other standards, what should be done? 

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To be honest what kind of an answer do yo expect? If you are happy with the partner in every other aspect than whats your problem? You will most likely never find someone who fullfills 100% of ur expectations.

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10 hours ago, Murti156 said:

To be honest what kind of an answer do yo expect? If you are happy with the partner in every other aspect than whats your problem? You will most likely never find someone who fullfills 100% of ur expectations.

That's true, we shouldn't turn down people who have made mistakes in the past and have honestly bettered themselves and put their sins behind them, but it's the lying part that's serious. In this case it's especially annoying, because that was something important to them and the spouse lied about it. Though I do feel for them, they overcame their past and now if they didn't lie they could have missed out on a spouse. Actually I take that back, Allah gives people their rights, and he wouldn't make them have to lie to get anything positive. They should have told the truth in a clever way that hides their sin and isn't a lie. Say someone wants to see my brother and asks me if he's home, and my brother doesn't want to see him. I would turn my head and face the wall, and say "I don't see him," to get the annoying person off their back. They would have to think carefully about how to answer such a heavy question, and then NEVER TALK ABOUT IT OR CONFESS IT UNTIL DEATH.

 

Edited by guest 2025
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On 10/1/2021 at 4:56 AM, Guest Guest said:

This is not an issue I have faced but rather an acquaintance. Before marriage, this acquaintance very much valued their own chastity and the chastity of their potential spouse. The acquaintance made it clear to the other person that chastity was a deal breaker for them, but the potential spouse lied about their chastity and then a while after the nikah felt guilty and told the truth. In a case like this, assuming that your spouse meets your other standards, what should be done? 

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Imam Sadiq (عليه السلام) was asked, "A woman who has a defect, has entrusted the responsibility of her marriage to a man from a relative or another man, and has also hidden her defect from that person. After marriage, the husband realizes, now What can be done? His majesty said: The dowry paid to a woman will be taken back from her. [12]

http://ensani.ir/fa/article/90349/آثار-فقهی-حقوقی-فریب-در-ازدواج

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Imam Sadiq (عليه السلام) was asked: "After marrying a woman, a man realized that she had committed adultery in the past. What is a man's rights?" The Imam said: A man can terminate a marriage and he can also continue living with a woman if he wishes. "The dowry also belongs to the woman, because the woman's honor has been given to the man, but the man can take back the dowry from the person who deceived him and made the woman marry him." [20]

http://ensani.ir/fa/article/90349/آثار-فقهی-حقوقی-فریب-در-ازدواج

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A lie like this constitutes fraud in marriage. When a spouse defrauds the other spouse in this way, then there is a strong case they could make for divorce. Most sheiks would give a divorce in this case, if the question was directly asked and the spouse lied in an issue like this which is an important issue. Whether a divorce should happen or not depends on other factors. There is not a requirement for a divorce, and if the spouse is happy with the partner that lied about this, the lie was admitted, sorry was expressed for this, the spouse who lied asked for forgiveness, they haven't repeated this, and they get along in the other ways then divorce is not recommended in this case. 

On the other hand, if the spouse who lied refuses to admit it, even though there is alot of evidence that they did lie, there is no sorry expressed for the action, no attempt to ask for forgiveness from the spouse who was lied to and / or there is a pattern of lying and deception from the part of this spouse, then definitely a divorce should happen, because this will be an ongoing problem which will destroy the marriage at some point, and probably after their are children involved, which would be much worse. It is not possible to have a marriage between someone who lies / does fraud and someone who doesn't. Even though they might both claim to be muslim, Shia, etc, someone who does fraud or lies on a regular basis is, in fact, not a muslim, in the real and true sense, although we can't do takfir on them for purposes of maintaining wahidat (unity amoung the followers of Islam). 

Edited by Abu Hadi
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