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In the Name of God بسم الله

Why would God put me through this

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Why does God put me through this? I can’t handle this. This thing will stay with me for the rest of my life. Im not gonna say what it is, but to ME it is an hardship. I just don’t understand why. The pain is unbearable. If God loves me then why does he put me through this and not something that time can heal or something that may be gone over time. I don’t want to be unthankful or something but. Even if with time I “accept” it, it will still hurt me as im confronted with it everytime for the rest of my life. I can’t take this pain, I can’t deal with it. 

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I offer sincere concern for your distress, and pray your burden is alleviated.

The answer to the question of "Why would God put me through this?" lies within yourself, but will require deep reflection in order to extract true meaning. I am not suggesting you've done something evil that warrants punishment; in fact, it may be the complete opposite. Write down your traumas, so you can actively work through them and rationalise them rather than simply despair. If you are truly seeking to understand, you will understand.

This reply truly comes from a place of experience and deep contemplation. It is easy to tell someone "God tests those He loves" and of course we only have to look towards the Prophets (عليه السلام) and the Ahlul Bayt (عليه السلام) to see how this is actualised. But to truly believe this, you have to witness the wisdom behind it, which will only come from dealing with and accepting the challenges you have faced, however unbearable. Then, you will come to the miraculous realisation that "God does not burden a soul with more than it can bear", and by that point, your soul will be more than able to bear it. 

The first step is to confront your trauma and seek to understand. Maybe you need to talk to someone to help you do this (highly recommend a psychologist if you have no one you can trust). Do NOT disclose your trauma to someone who could potentially use it against you or make you feel even worse. Honestly, try talking to Imam Mahdi (عجّل الله تعالى فرجه الشريف); he is always listening. Even if you initially feel your heart is sealed, at least pretend, because the effort in itself will open doorways InshaAllah.

Don't despair. God is good. God bless.

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Maybe god is putting you through this, to change the lenses from which you see.  Remember if the situation cannot be changed, you will be forced to change internally.  

And this will grow you up to spiritual maturity. 

Your focusing on achievement (I presume) and Allah is focusing on your character. Because your character is what you will take to you after life.  

Trust Allah. Two very simple words, but over time you realise it is very difficult. And it’s even more difficult when you hear a deafening silence after your hardship, but understand Allah is breaking down your heart and mind till you yourself exhaust your own strengths and have nothing left inside you except Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)…. Thus forcing you to increase your faith and trust in Allah … allowing you to reach your per destined status infront of Allah.  

I have realised, for me personally the state of my hardships are usually internal factors and the state of mind you carry and the thoughts you water and harbour, and reality in itself isn’t that bad. The hardship only lasted a few moments, it was one moment of bad news… but then I spend 1/2/3 years beating myself up about it. That’s more on me then god… don’t you think ? Your situation might be different, so sorry if this isn’t applicable. But Allah has promised to give ease after hardship in the Quran, so you will 100% get ease. Just When will you allow it to enter is up to you. 

sometimes he changes the situation, but you mentioned your situation will always be the same - then you need to change yourself. Reality will be the same today and in 3 years … gods waiting on you now to accept the ease but a shift of your internal outlook and mindset. And this can take some time, once he breaks you down and purifies you. But it’s out of love (sorry!) 

Try to identify the cause of your pain and tackle it.  It will be very hard, but the promise of Allah is true. After hardship there is ease. And many a time the ease has been delivered, I.e. a door closed… but your mental state is blocking you from viewing it from the eyes of Allah.  

How ironic is it, many a times you grieve over that which you know could cause you harm ? You deep down sometimes know it’s for the best…. But you still wanted it the way you wanted it. If you resist the will of Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى)… it will obviously hurt.  

God loved his prophets, and they had it worse.  God loved imam Hussain AS and he had it way way worse.  Love doesn’t mean he’s going be easy, love means it will be hard. The promise of Allah is true, and believers face hardship. 

Over time - you could be a whole new human with a whole new outlook, trust me. 

Recite salawat, complain/talk to Allah about your problem and then work on submission to the will of god and work on practical ways to help you get your mindset to where Allah wants it to be, spiritual maturity. 

Seek counselling if necessary, or even open up on shiachat… who knows people could relate and help you out a lot more than you think.   

Watch YouTube videos of people who where on similar situations as you and see what steps they took to help themselves.  This could help immensely.

Get ready, for once you tackle this, something beautiful will happen inside of you. You will be free, free from this world and it’s despair. What you may be going through… in 10/20 years you could see it as a honour from Allah.  

Nobody said trusting Allah is easy, but ONCE do it… you will be thankful for this inshallah. Yes the past sticks, and every time you are “confronted” it will hurt….. but as weird as it sounds… it will become a part of YOU and depending on what it is… who knows once you truly accept it and the opinion of Allah is above the opinion of people…. It might not hurt.  

It’s ok to be sad, and distressed, just make sure you pick yourself up after, and keep your constant communication with Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) and use counsellors or therapists if needed. Watch YouTube videos or read blogs of people in same situation as you.  

Allah loves you.  He sustains you every single day because he loves. He’s a kind god, He’s a loving god, he’s a caring god. You are no exception to his mercy. He is there watching, he’s your supporter.  He loves everyone he created. He loves you more than your family.  Wallahi if I had words to tell you about the love of Allah, I would… but I can’t articulate how MUCH he loves you.  You are really really precious to God. 

he created you did he nurtured you, he lead you this far and trust me… if your STILL BREATHING it’s because he’s got a plan, and the plan of Allah is the best.. because he plans with the knowledge of the unseen.

It might be very difficult to truly help you or give you some ease without knowing what’s going on but I pray everything works out. 

Edited by S Hussain
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On 9/20/2021 at 3:09 PM, Z_Ali said:

Honestly, try talking to Imam Mahdi (عجّل الله تعالى فرجه الشريف); he is always listening. 

You shouldn’t elevate Imam Mahdi into the position that only Allah should have, the one your heart seeks refuge in during distress.

this is a point that the Quran repeatedly ephasizes, that Allah is the closest one to you, and that Allah is the only refuge and the only one who can answer the calls of the distressed.

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1) We were created to worship Allah

We were created to worship Allah, and we all made a promise to do so before we were sent to earth. Tests are a means for us to fulfill this promise. In fact, they are a “sunnah” of Allah – i.e. tests are the means by which Allah distinguishes between us, because they help to expose faith and lack of faith.  Allah states in the Qur’an:

‘Do the people think that they will be left to say, “We believe” and they will not be tried? But We have certainly tried those before them, and Allah will surely make evident those who are truthful, and He will surely make evident those who are false.’ [Qur’an 29: 2-3]

2) Allah tests us to purify us and wash away our sins.

So instead of seeing tests as a punishment from Allah, this shows that in fact, Allah wants to save us from punishment – i.e. the punishment of the Hereafter which is much worse than any test faced in this Dunya.

3) A test can sometimes replace a worse misfortune

A test can be a form of protection from something that might have befallen us.  Or being deprived of something might, in fact, be saving us from something that is not good for us, even though we don’t have the knowledge to realise it at the time.  Allah tells us: “Perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” [Qur’an 4: 19]. Therefore the test which might seem so awful to you at the time is, in fact, a blessing.

4) Tests are given to us to strengthen our iman (faith).

Allah wants to refine us, out of His love and mercy, so that we can attain not just Paradise but the highest rank of the Prophets and the righteous. Tests expose our faults and weaknesses to ourselves—and that awareness enables us to be more focused and proactive in rectifying those aspects of our character.

5) Allah tests a person He loves.

The servant reacts with Sabr (patience) and contentment with Allah’s decree, it brings them closer to Allah. And “Allah loves the Patient.” [Qur’an 3: 146]

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16 hours ago, Guest Based said:

You shouldn’t elevate Imam Mahdi into the position that only Allah should have, the one your heart seeks refuge in during distress.

this is a point that the Quran repeatedly ephasizes, that Allah is the closest one to you, and that Allah is the only refuge and the only one who can answer the calls of the distressed.


Not sure why you drew that conclusion. I didn’t say to pray to the Imam (عليه السلام). And certainly you can talk to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى). But one of the roles of the Imam (عليه السلام) is to act as the mediator between ourselves and Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) because of his elevated status. The Imam (عليه السلام) has been appointed as our master, whom we can talk to and ask for intercession in times of need. This is a fundamental of the Shi’a faith… not sure if you’ve read Du’aa Tawassul in your time.

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