Question about Nikah (permanent) when we have no Shia community or mosque…

[Layla15]

Assalamu alaikum, 

I am a Shia revert, I have been Shia for years but a while back I lost my way and I met my now partner and we have a son together and also my older son sees him as his father. He was not Muslim at all but since I have started to find my way back to Allah subhana wa’tala, alhamdulillah, my partner has learnt a lot about Islam and I explained that I have to find my way back to the right path and unfortunately I will have to choose my faith over my relationship. After he learned some more about Islam he said he wanted to revert, like I had done, and I’m really happy and excited about this. He has reverted now and I know we have to get married - in an Islamic way - because I do not want to live in this disobedience of Allah subhana wa’tala and I want to show my two children how to be good Muslims. 

Sorry for the background information! I’ll get on to my actual question now: we live in a city that has no Shia mosques. I’m not joking. There’s like only a couple of mosques here and I’ve actually never been them because I was anxious, the Muslim community here is small and not many reverts and I have been looked down upon by the Muslim community here and really not accepted even when I was practicing and doing my best. We need to get married, I would like a permanent marriage because we were going to get married legally anyway before, we are already engaged in a western sense, but I don’t really care about that so much at the moment. But without a mosque to go to and without a sheikh, can we even get married?! Permanently and validly? I looked on Sistani’s website and I was confused. I was in a mutah marriage before with a man who really did introduce me properly to Islam, this was a long time ago now, and now I don’t even know if that was valid - we didn’t have witnesses. But I was told then that for mutah we didn’t need them. But for permanent marriage it’s my understanding we do? Do they need to be Muslim? My family is not Muslim. Do we need a religious leader like a sheikh to make a permanent marriage valid or not & to do the contracts…? I feel silly asking these things like I feel I should know it but anyway. I’m hoping someone can help me out. 

What does a couple do if there is no mosque or sheikh…? Like I said there’s a couple of mosques but they are not Shia. Can a permanent marriage & ceremony be done without this? And like I asked also for witnesses, can they be non-Muslim because my family is not Muslim and neither is my partner’s family. 

Thank you for reading and I hope I don’t sound really dumb and I hope I can get some clarity and we will be able to get married inshallah! 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Layla15 said:

But for permanent marriage it’s my understanding we do?

No, you don't need witnesses for any kind of marriage in Shia fiqh. 

If both of you are reasonably confident about your Arabic pronunciation you can recite the nikkah yourself.

1 hour ago, Layla15 said:

What does a couple do if there is no mosque or sheikh…?

Is there a nearby place with a Shia mosque? Just contact the sheikh there and ask him to recite the nikkah for you. Just you and your husband need to be present, it's a very simple process.

Wish you both lots of happiness!! 

[Muhammad A-H]

1 hour ago, Layla15 said:

But for permanent marriage it’s my understanding we do?

Salam,

No witnesses are required. However, if you have not lost your virginity through permissible means, then it is obligatory upon you to get the permission of your father or paternal grandfather to marry the man.

 

391. In marrying a virgin woman, whether Muslim or from Ahlul Kitab, it is necessary to get the consent of her father or paternal grandfather, if she is not independent. However, it is precautionarily obligatory to seek their consent [i.e., of the father or the paternal grandfather], even if she is independent. Consent of the woman’s brother, mother, sister or other relations is not required.

392. The consent of the father or the paternal grandfather to marry a virgin woman, who is both adult and sensible, is not required [in the following cases:]

a. if they stop her from marrying someone who is her equal in the eyes of both shar’ia and common practice;

b. if they completely withdraw from the involvement in her marriage;

c. when it is not possible to get their consent because of their absence.

In these cases, she is permitted to marry, if she is in need of marriage.

393. The consent of the father or the paternal grandfather is not required in the marriage of a non-virgin woman (that is, a girl who had previously married and had sexual intercourse). But the case of the woman who had lost her virginity because of fornication or another cause is like that of a virgin.

 

 

399. If the father withdraws his guardianship from his virgin daughter and considers her independent, after reaching the age of eighteen, as is common in the West, it is permissible to marry her without getting the consent and approval of her father.

https://www.sistani.org/english/book/46/2061/

Edited September 15, 2021 by Muhammad Al-Hurr

[ShiaMan14]

Salaam,

You can have a Sheikh on Zoom or online video conf and get a permanent Nikah done.

[Abu Hadi]

20 hours ago, Layla15 said:

Assalamu alaikum, 

I am a Shia revert, I have been Shia for years but a while back I lost my way and I met my now partner and we have a son together and also my older son sees him as his father. He was not Muslim at all but since I have started to find my way back to Allah subhana wa’tala, alhamdulillah, my partner has learnt a lot about Islam and I explained that I have to find my way back to the right path and unfortunately I will have to choose my faith over my relationship. After he learned some more about Islam he said he wanted to revert, like I had done, and I’m really happy and excited about this. He has reverted now and I know we have to get married - in an Islamic way - because I do not want to live in this disobedience of Allah subhana wa’tala and I want to show my two children how to be good Muslims. 

Sorry for the background information! I’ll get on to my actual question now: we live in a city that has no Shia mosques. I’m not joking. There’s like only a couple of mosques here and I’ve actually never been them because I was anxious, the Muslim community here is small and not many reverts and I have been looked down upon by the Muslim community here and really not accepted even when I was practicing and doing my best. We need to get married, I would like a permanent marriage because we were going to get married legally anyway before, we are already engaged in a western sense, but I don’t really care about that so much at the moment. But without a mosque to go to and without a sheikh, can we even get married?! Permanently and validly? I looked on Sistani’s website and I was confused. I was in a mutah marriage before with a man who really did introduce me properly to Islam, this was a long time ago now, and now I don’t even know if that was valid - we didn’t have witnesses. But I was told then that for mutah we didn’t need them. But for permanent marriage it’s my understanding we do? Do they need to be Muslim? My family is not Muslim. Do we need a religious leader like a sheikh to make a permanent marriage valid or not & to do the contracts…? I feel silly asking these things like I feel I should know it but anyway. I’m hoping someone can help me out. 

What does a couple do if there is no mosque or sheikh…? Like I said there’s a couple of mosques but they are not Shia. Can a permanent marriage & ceremony be done without this? And like I asked also for witnesses, can they be non-Muslim because my family is not Muslim and neither is my partner’s family. 

Thank you for reading and I hope I don’t sound really dumb and I hope I can get some clarity and we will be able to get married inshallah! 

What city / state / do you live in ? Someone here might be able to put you in contact with someone. As was said above, a sheik or a mosque is not required, but optional. At the same time, it is 'very' optional since you want your marriage to be recognized by the community and also the city , state, and country where you live. 

[ShiaMan14]

4 hours ago, Abu Hadi said:

What city / state / do you live in ? Someone here might be able to put you in contact with someone. As was said above, a sheik or a mosque is not required, but optional. At the same time, it is 'very' optional since you want your marriage to be recognized by the community and also the city , state, and country where you live. 

I believe for permanent marriage, the sigah has to be recited in arabic and the person should have an understanding of arabic. 

The sheikh does not have to be present, he can be remote (phone, online).

[Abu Hadi]

3 hours ago, ShiaMan14 said:

I believe for permanent marriage, the sigah has to be recited in arabic and the person should have an understanding of arabic. 

The sheikh does not have to be present, he can be remote (phone, online).

Yes, it has to be recited in Arabic and the person needs to have a basic understanding of what they are saying. 

The info is here

https://en.wikishia.net/view/Marriage_formula

[Layla15]

On 9/16/2021 at 5:55 AM, Abu Hadi said:

What city / state / do you live in ? Someone here might be able to put you in contact with someone. As was said above, a sheik or a mosque is not required, but optional. At the same time, it is 'very' optional since you want your marriage to be recognized by the community and also the city , state, and country where you live. 

Salam, thank you! I live in Perth, Western Australia  I don’t really care if the community recognises my marriage and I can do my legal (like under my country’s laws) later, the most important thing to me right now is it is recognised by Allah subhana wa’tala. Now I have turned back to Islam I feel horrible guilt everyday knowing I am doing wrong. We are actually engaged and we were planning our legal marriage but had to keep putting it off due to Covid, I have my wedding dress in my closet  I was going to wear it (it’s modest oddly enough even though when I picked it I don’t think I was thinking about that!) and I just want to wear that and put hijab on and do our Islamic marriage in our home with my two boys there watching. I didn’t know if that was an option though. But from what the replies are saying it sounds like it is which I’m grateful for. For our legal marriage now due to our financial situation we were just going to go to the courthouse and we wouldn’t be able to have our children there and I felt really sad about that because I want them to see us get married and set an example for them  so I feel like I can do this and set the most important example - getting married Islamically to adhere to and obey what Allah subhana wa’tala has taught us to do. 

thank you again!!!