How can I divorce my husband?

[WisdomAndAnswers]

Salam alaikum,

I want to divorce my husband but there are no sheikhs where I live that are helping me. I called one sheikh and he told me that it is up to my husband and that it's not in my hands to decide on a divorce. I can't find any other sheikhs because every number leads to a recording.

Does anyone know any numbers of sheikhs in Canada Ontario who can give me a divorce? Or is there any sheikhs on this site who can do it for me? If not, is there any other way that I can divorce him? 

Thank you so much

[Guest JJA]

Quote

You need to find your marja's representative to grant you a divorce. Otherwise, only by your husband's consent can you be divorced. You can attempt a khula- wherein you pay a sum of money to your husband in exchange for a divorce. https://www.sistani.org/english/book/48/2346/

Of course:  “Abu ‘Abd Allah, ‘Alayhi al-Salam, has said, ‘Of whatever Allah, most Majestic, most Glorious, has made lawful nothing is more hateful to Him than divorce." - Al Kafi

Alaykum salam

Contact sheikh Sayed Mohammad Razavi +44 7506 709858

[notme]

I don't know your circumstances, but sometimes it's better to be alone for the rest of your life than stuck in a terrible marriage. Even if you can't get divorced, if you are in danger or being oppressed, you need to move out immediately. 

[WisdomAndAnswers]

2 hours ago, notme said:

I don't know your circumstances, but sometimes it's better to be alone for the rest of your life than stuck in a terrible marriage. Even if you can't get divorced, if you are in danger or being oppressed, you need to move out immediately. 

You are 100 percent right, I was in a very toxic marriage and had to get out.

Edited September 10, 2021 by WisdomAndAnswers

[WisdomAndAnswers]

2 hours ago, Guest JJA said:

Alaykum salam

Contact sheikh Sayed Mohammad Razavi +44 7506 709858

I really appreciate it thank you. 

[WisdomAndAnswers]

I was hoping someone can answer 2 questions for me. If my father is a sheikh, can he do the divorce for me? My father doesn't live with me so I would rather ask first before confronting him about it. 

My second question is if my husband is a sunni, can I contact a sunni masjid to do the divorce? Would it be a valid divorce? 

[Labyika ya Khamenei]

On 9/11/2021 at 4:57 AM, WisdomAndAnswers said:

I was hoping someone can answer 2 questions for me. If my father is a sheikh, can he do the divorce for me? My father doesn't live with me so I would rather ask first before confronting him about it. 

My second question is if my husband is a sunni, can I contact a sunni masjid to do the divorce? Would it be a valid divorce? 

You should email your marja for these questions

[ummulbaneen]

On 9/10/2021 at 9:57 PM, WisdomAndAnswers said:

I was hoping someone can answer 2 questions for me. If my father is a sheikh, can he do the divorce for me? My father doesn't live with me so I would rather ask first before confronting him about it. 

My second question is if my husband is a sunni, can I contact a sunni masjid to do the divorce? Would it be a valid divorce? 

In shia ahkaam, if the marriage is between parties of different sects/faiths, during divorce, the laws to be used are those of the husband. Therefore, If your husband is sunni, the ahkaam guiding the divorce is sunni. 

So, if you are able to prove grounds of "faskhul aqd" to the sheikh, he can pronounce it to you on behalf of your husband. Faskhul aqd are basically the things that would violate/terminate the contract of marriage such as his engaging in lewd behavior, threats to your life/safety, failure to perform his marital obligations, etc.

You could alternatively seek a khul'a divorce (where you dont need to prove any faskhul aqd) and simply that you want out. You may be required to pay a sum demanded by the husband if he demands it.

If you have children with him, you may want to think about custody before you decide which way to go for the divorce, and strategize so that firstly, the interests of the children are least harmed in the process, and secondly, the grounds upon which you take the divorce could affect your custody chances.

May Allah provide ease for you in this situation. Do not forget to seek marriage counselling if that is what your marriage needs first.

[WisdomAndAnswers]

On 9/24/2021 at 4:19 PM, ummulbaneen said:

In shia ahkaam, if the marriage is between parties of different sects/faiths, during divorce, the laws to be used are those of the husband. Therefore, If your husband is sunni, the ahkaam guiding the divorce is sunni. 

So, if you are able to prove grounds of "faskhul aqd" to the sheikh, he can pronounce it to you on behalf of your husband. Faskhul aqd are basically the things that would violate/terminate the contract of marriage such as his engaging in lewd behavior, threats to your life/safety, failure to perform his marital obligations, etc.

You could alternatively seek a khul'a divorce (where you dont need to prove any faskhul aqd) and simply that you want out. You may be required to pay a sum demanded by the husband if he demands it.

If you have children with him, you may want to think about custody before you decide which way to go for the divorce, and strategize so that firstly, the interests of the children are least harmed in the process, and secondly, the grounds upon which you take the divorce could affect your custody chances.

May Allah provide ease for you in this situation. Do not forget to seek marriage counselling if that is what your marriage needs first.

I really appreciate the time you gave for your answer. He was a very toxic person. He was smoking marijuana every day, never prays, never fasts, occassionaly does drugs, and was abusive. I just pray that every good person out there doesn't go through that inshallah and marry an amazing God fearing person. 

But Alhamdulilah I was able to divorce him.

[wolverine]

6 hours ago, WisdomAndAnswers said:

But Alhamdulilah I was able to divorce him.

Remember to keep track of the iddah time. 

https://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235042512-important-questions-answered/?do=findComment&comment=3010023

[WisdomAndAnswers]

2 hours ago, wolverine said:

Remember to keep track of the iddah time. 

https://www.shiachat.com/forum/topic/235042512-important-questions-answered/?do=findComment&comment=3010023

Thank you for letting me know