Divided family

[Guest Ali]

Salam all

I recently came back to islam, been about a year and by that I don’t mean I was kaffir, I just wasnt practicing
I lived away from family, and when my mum and dad asked me to come back I did
Now I live with family, my mum has a bit of a mental problem and I do love her to death, main reason as to why I came back, me and my dad however are not on good terms, we have very different views on life in general and besides praying he doesnt practice anything else
I have 4 sisters at home, none practice islam and one of whom is a transgender, from female to male and going through hormone therapy, I don’t agree with it at all not one bit, I have always discouraged it and hated it, Im good with my other sisters and the only thing that divides our family is the transgender issue

My mum and dad don’t even know what it is and don’t even care because she handles all the house things such as bills and that
I always always get into arguements wwhen it comes to this issue
It has caused our family such bad times
My stance on the issue is strong and I will never accept it but its getting to the point where I dont know what to do
Should I leave or not
Because I know my mum will not let me move away from her

[Abu_Zahra]

Wa alaikum as salam

You can try and discourage someone from something, but once they have gone ahead with it there isn't much left to do. 

I don't really see why you're arguing and wanting to leave the house and your family, because of the mistakes of one person. 

[Mr Peace]

Waalaikumassalam

I think regarding the concerns you have with your sibling, it is something out of your control. 

It's better not to argue about this, as you've mentioned this is one of the main causes of affecting the family environment negatively.

Considering the health of your mother, you made the right call to come back home.

I would say just be there for your parents and siblings as much as you can, and try to let go of the frustration you have against the transgender sibling.

You should try to remind yourself that each person is liable to answer for their own actions to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), this mindset will help you to let go of what is outside of your control.

As for your relationship with your father, it is understandable for both of you to have differing views on life, but you just have to respect that your father is his own person and as long as he has not wronged you or caused you harm, then it would be better to let go of the frustration you might feel towards him.

One thing we can learn from parents is that they are human, and therefore not perfect, they can make mistakes just like us. 

They won't be around for long so as their child, you should care for them while you can, so you don't have regrets later in life.

You should stay with your family.

 

 

 

 

[Meedy]

Salam,

I think you should stay for the sake of your mom as obedience and taking care of parents is really important in Islam.

With regards to others, all you can is explain your reasoning in calm manner and if they don't listen, or care or don't accept, not much you can do beside from Praying to God, to guide them into the Right Path.

Look after your mom brother, she is more important.

[Guest Ali]

Its not that I want to leave because of the arguing, its because she has a hate for islam and throws shade at me and tries to make me upset, but nobody seems to notice it, I try my hardest to have patience and I usually do, but today I had another argument with my dad and mum but mum just gets really upset

My family does not practice islam, only my mum and dad just pray, other than that nothing else, no khums, zakat nothing, always backbiting, swearing, bad example of a muslim, but the thing that I can not stand is my sister that has a hate for islam

I cannot accept her for what she has become, nor will I ever accept her, and she will always hate me for it and hate islam too

I feel like the food I eat in this house is haram, can that justify me leaving, the reason why I havent so far is because of how important parents are in islam and that guilt will eat me if I leave but I want to keep practising islam, seems to me like impossible to do in this house

[Abu_Zahra]

You will find people everywhere who have anger or hatred towards islam. Our teachings show that one must win the hearts of the people through good etiquette.

Be polite with your family members while upholding and maintaining your religion.