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In the Name of God بسم الله

How do you stop making assumptions and jump to conclusions very easily

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Making assumptions is natural, I think all human beings make judgements about others on a daily basis without even realising it. I think people jump to conclusions easily because it is a way of validating their thoughts in the moment. It's not easy to stop but you just have to remind yourself that you can only control your own life, so it really isn't worth the mental energy to focus on anything or anyone else. Keeping yourself busy will also help.

I keep telling myself, when I die, I'm going to regret all the time I wasted on overthinking and making unnecessary problems in my mind which didn't actually exist. I could have spent that time better by doing a good deed or remembering Allah, something which would actually be of benefit in the afterlife.

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3 hours ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

Salam,

I want to understand why people (including myself) do this. Any tips on how to stop doing that?

jazakallah 

Wasalam alaikum,

Because of two things: 1. Making judgements, every time we make a judgment or assumption, we feed our egos. This is a sign of poor control with our emotions. We didn't stop to consider that perhaps there is more to the story. We just came to a conclusion with no evidence and were satisfied  with our answer. Also when we jump to conclusions, we often suffer from misplaced anger or sadness which is ego-based, hurting ourselves even further. 

2. When you start to jump to conclusions, stop, inhale and ask yourself: "Why do I feel this way? Do I have proof for this conclusion? Do I really know what's going on?", take notice of what you are feeling and simply let go of the feeling, emotion or thought you  are currently experiencing and then, exhale. Don't act on it, just breathe out with the understanding that you don't know everything and that it is probably out of your control. Also, stop talking to yourself mentally, it is a form of overthinking that ruins any emotional control we may have. Plus, it makes us prone to making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. Ever since I stop talking to myself internally, I feel lighter, with more clarity and have found my inner peace.

I hope my answer was able to help you, sis.

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