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In the Name of God بسم الله

What is your community/culture like?

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  • Advanced Member

Salam alaikum,

I was hoping if anyone here could give me an insight on what their communities/culture is like. What are the core values, the positive/negative aspects etc. I am currently writing a non fiction story that addresses the issues of Muslim communities. 


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Posted (edited)

Wa alaykom al salam

It’s hard to fit all members into one category but generally my community is an admixture of some camaraderie and spite – emphasis on ‘some’ since the latter is more conspicuous in our circles. As a collective we support each other, although this solidarity is more often than not sullied by the actions of some members who are known to gossip and fabricate details about certain people. 

In terms of core values, reputation is very important for both genders, but some would argue a girl’s image can be irretrievably tarnished if she intimates (knowingly or not) her shortcomings to community members. I’d say if you have a good reputation you would have no problem interacting with people, but you must also be wary of how you present yourself so as to maintain said image.

Unfortunately, I do believe religion is a superstructure that is peripheral to custom in my community. If religion is exclusively measured by acts of worship, mosque attendance and rituals then we would be ‘religious’ by such standards. However, religiosity is just as much akhlaq as it is physical obedience and unfortunately there is considerable room for improvement in this arena. We need to work on, among other things, concealing the faults of others, giving people the benefit of the doubt, minding our own business and wishing nothing but the best for others. Then and only then would we boast religiosity in its entirety.  

I do not heavily associate with members of my community and my dealings with others are superficial but still cordial. Alhamdulillah most of my contemporaries and I have maintained a good reputation in the eyes of the people, but we still feel uncomfortable when we hear people gossip about or defame others. For this reason, most of us shy away from religious and social gatherings. 

All in all, I wouldn’t say I despise my community, but I am definitely disappointed in the way we have conducted ourselves. As followers of Ahlul Bayt (عليهم السلام), we should know better.

Please note that all this is a generalisation – I am also acquainted with very beautiful people in my community who do not possess the aforementioned qualities. 

Hope this helps! Good luck with your story :)

Edited by User 313
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I need to know what my community is like too but I can not because we are not close like we were in the past before the internet play a big deal of our life. we were closer but now with the internet and covid 19, people more cautious  so we do not interact with each other like we used to. the old people want to talk ,the young people want to use their phone. even families are not close like they used too . My community was really beautiful  but now it is changing (nothing stays the same). I have a friend who came from another community  says your not close  even between families.  every family care about itself the most  only , not like before all families were like one family. so sad  but still like my community because I know it is better than other communities.

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My Community is basically - Middle class and high class

Outside friendly - deep inside themselves there is part of hate or dislike to another but they hide it. Perhaps the adults are to blame. There is one or two, try to create division amongst the community.

Popular and non popular.

If you're not known by many or not popular, almost all won't talk to you, just greet you and that's it.

Basically similar like high school. If you don't have anyone or don't have many interaction with many because you feel like high school trying to make friends which is difficult.

Therefore Its a miracle to find a spouse.

I gave up trying to fit in.

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  • Advanced Member

I don't have much of a community. I live in America where people are pretty atomized and not really deeply involved with their communities. I'd say that I come from a working class White background though, grandchild of Ukrainian immigrants to America so I still keep some of the traditions of the Ukrainians in some of the clothes I wear at special occasions and such (Embroidered shirts, eating Ukrainian food, small stuff like that).

I live in Florida USA so as far as the rest of the community goes, it's mostly elderly and retired people, a lot of them way wealthier than my family is. Beach/tropical culture is pretty strong down here and is partially formed from the cultures of Latin Americans and Caribbean blacks, so we've sort of got a mish-mash of culture going on down here, but like I said: most people don't really talk to their neighbors or anything. People in America are very much self-centered and alienated from one another, especially now that the political situation that the media has been fomenting has split the country between red vs blue, liberal vs conservative and people seem to hate people who aren't a part of their political tribe (It's really stupid if you ask me). I don't know most of my neighbors save for the guy across the street who ran for office here in town once and even though he lost, I wrote him a letter saying I was proud of him that he tried to get involved.

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6 hours ago, 3wliya_maryam said:

More like within your own household, what traditions/cultures are normally believed or practiced.

Well my mother and sister are cultural Christians, my brother in law is nothing. Not an atheist, just of no religion in general.

But on holidays we will eat traditional Ukrainian food and sometimes I put on my embroidered shirt for these meals. My mom decorates Ukrainian easter eggs, just like my aunt and grandmother did.

Every friday night is pizza night. But aside from that, we don't really have a lot of traditions.

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I was born from a mixed marriage - Arab/European. We turned towards Islam naturally I would say. 

As for wider family, cultural Shias with variable degrees of practice. Sometimes it's the husband, sometimes the wife that is more assiduous. In the new generation very few hijab. Besides this, a very, very heavy heritage of tribal culture with many intra family marriages. 


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