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In the Name of God بسم الله

How to deal with toxic work environments?


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I am considered by my boss to be a competent and hardworking employee. However, we have fundamental disagreements.

They try to monitor the lives of my co-workers and I subtly undermine this. My speciality is I am good at identifying snitches and feeding them false information.

Recently, they have tried to get rid of one of my co-workers. They see her as abrasive and insubordinate.

If they knew the experiences, that have made her into this then they might think differently. But, that is her life and not mine to divulge.

As stands, I have been using my connections to ensure she is one step ahead of any attempts to entrap her into doing something that could cost her job.

As I was leaving work the other day, they said to me “you’re a good worker, but you will always be limited by the fact you place your loyalties to your co-workers, above that of the company”.

I laughed at that. However, they then said, “I know you have been covering for that [EDIT] [insert name here]”.

That annoyed me, I told them that they had lost my sympathy by using such language.

Salam! So the above post describes my work experience since 2019. It seems like a toxic work environment but all companies (except for one) had this kind of environment. 

Am I abrasive harsh? Yes I will admit I have become like that. I feel that companies do interfere in their employees personal lives and may be it's my mental disorder but I feel like they are almost conspiring with my family about how to torture me. I am never the best employee and because of my social anxiety, I am quiet. Most of my co-workers don't like me and this effects my work performance. I don't like their personal attacks, especially when they are same kind of attacks my family uses and due to situation at home, I don't have much patience. I get angry a lot and I slam things or give angry looks to co-workers who insult me. I have started facing the same problem again. I feel like my employer wants to get rid of me but they are not giving me lay-off. They have just reduced my hours. I am not paranoid. My family and community are really trying hard to control me. They want me to work at a lab which a community member owns so that they can insult me and abuse me all day long. They hired 2 of my co-workers from my previous job. Before they had interviews, they kept talking about that company all day long, hoping that I will discuss that I also worked there. 

I guess all companies have become like this. They expect you to prove your loyalty and I cannot compromise on my morals just to prove my loyalty. I heard somewhere that for americans religion has been replaced by work and working at any company feels like joining a cult. Has anyone else faced similar problems and how do you deal with it? There were a couple of places where I was working independently. My work performance was good and my bosses were happy with me. So it doesn't matter what career you choose or whether you are good at your job or not. If you cannot deal with co-workers, you cannot be successful. 

Edited by Hameedeh
Vulgar language removed from the Reddit quote.
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On 7/21/2021 at 7:41 AM, rkazmi33 said:

Salam! So the above post describes my work experience since 2019. It seems like a toxic work environment but all companies (except for one) had this kind of environment. 

Am I abrasive harsh? Yes I will admit I have become like that. I feel that companies do interfere in their employees personal lives and may be it's my mental disorder but I feel like they are almost conspiring with my family about how to torture me. I am never the best employee and because of my social anxiety, I am quiet. Most of my co-workers don't like me and this effects my work performance. I don't like their personal attacks, especially when they are same kind of attacks my family uses and due to situation at home, I don't have much patience. I get angry a lot and I slam things or give angry looks to co-workers who insult me. I have started facing the same problem again. I feel like my employer wants to get rid of me but they are not giving me lay-off. They have just reduced my hours. I am not paranoid. My family and community are really trying hard to control me. They want me to work at a lab which a community member owns so that they can insult me and abuse me all day long. They hired 2 of my co-workers from my previous job. Before they had interviews, they kept talking about that company all day long, hoping that I will discuss that I also worked there. 

I guess all companies have become like this. They expect you to prove your loyalty and I cannot compromise on my morals just to prove my loyalty. I heard somewhere that for americans religion has been replaced by work and working at any company feels like joining a cult. Has anyone else faced similar problems and how do you deal with it? There were a couple of places where I was working independently. My work performance was good and my bosses were happy with me. So it doesn't matter what career you choose or whether you are good at your job or not. If you cannot deal with co-workers, you cannot be successful. 

I think the are a few rules that work pretty much everywhere and will make the environment less 'toxic' at least for you. Obviously if the 'toxicity' of the environment is affecting your mental or physical health you should look for another job. 

1. Focus on doing your job well. This should be your main focus at any job, and it sounds like you are doing that. If you are the kind of employee that creates value for the company by doing your job well and meeting or exceeding the expectations of your direct supervisor, then you have alot of leverage when it comes to things like time off / vacation time, and not participating in the social events that usually involve alcohol. If you are consistently performing well in your job but do not participate in the forced 'socializing' that involves alcohol, this will not effect you much and you can still advance in the company, though maybe not at the same pace as those who also perform well in their jobs and participate in these activities. You are trading part of the dunya for your akhira by doing this. It is a very good trade you are making

2. Don't get involved in gossip, petty disputes, office politics. These things go on in every office, and this is usually the main component of the toxicity. Try your best to stay far away from it and if someone asks you your opinion about a person or something like that which might draw you into a 'faction', just play dumb and pretend you are ignorant. You can even specifically say, 'I don't want to get involved in this'. Most people will respect that and keep you out of it. 

 

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