Women and housework views?

[Fizz786]

Salam alaikum,

inshaAllah all are well. 

So from an Islamic point of view, bibi Fatima sa did housework and Imam Ali as and bibi Fizzah helped her. 

Nowadays, men from different cultures have said "women belong in the kitchen"!

This is one of things I wrote in relation to this absurd belief. 

I'm neither  a feminist nor pro men. I am in the middle. It is NOT compulsory for a women to slave away doing all the housework, being stuck in the kitchen all day and being expected to look after all the children. Yes if a man works its understandable she should help too. But a woman deserves freedom, love and equal share in the housework! she can work if she likes and its her money! 
heck, she can hire a maid and Islam
wouldn't have a problem with it. I just hate this ideology especially in some cultures that "women belong in the kitchen!" then men making fun of her food or chucking it out when not cooked to their standards! ugh makes my blood boil!

Ive just come to a point in my life where I just feel like many men in my culture have this thinking. Like in my marriage I worked full-time 5-6 days a week, so hard. Yet there were complaints that I wasnt doing housework/cooking etc. Yet he was at home all day. If he managed some cleaning he would make a big deal about it and say actually why did I have to do that. Id come home from a 9 hour shift to "whats for dinner?" We are separated now due to many other reasons but this was his main complaint against me. At times he would throw the whole pot of food out on the floor for making my first pot wrong. 

Im just so put off with this ideology. ugh.

Thoughts?

[notme]

1 hour ago, Fizz786 said:

At times he would throw the whole pot of food out on the floor for making my first pot wrong. 

Good riddance! That is abusive behavior. 

Men need to hold other men accountable. Too little is expected of them in our society. 

[Guest Psychological Warfare]

We are following the same path due to western environment or blind adoption of their value system. The state is concerned with division of Assets ( financial or human) and that is it. Where you or your kids end up - streets/gangs/drugs/mental cases is not their concern. These value system need to be evaluated before children become the victim of corporate/government profit over people strategy. 

Think before you marry- its not we click, we understand, good looks or good job thing - or wait 5 years before having children. Because the superficial love  expires  fast and the ramp up period to seperation/divorce starts with sudden- expiration of the grace period- got the job now the real stuff comes out-  and you know what happens - MY LIfe/My Right.  Sorry, once you bring in another life in this world- It is no longer MY stuff - Its Their Right- Life. 

Sorry, this My right/Life  - Children are the real innocent victims.  They have rights and we need make it a priority- follow  the world /trend/slogans feel powerful /equal at you own peril .  These ideas sound so nice. but the results no one talk about them.  

There is no money in prevention. Money is made post disaster -

[slavelight]

On 7/4/2021 at 3:32 AM, Fizz786 said:

Like in my marriage I worked full-time 5-6 days a week, so hard. Yet there were complaints that I wasnt doing housework/cooking etc. Yet he was at home all day. If he managed some cleaning he would make a big deal about it and say actually why did I have to do that. Id come home from a 9 hour shift to "whats for dinner?" We are separated now due to many other reasons but this was his main complaint against me. At times he would throw the whole pot of food out on the floor for making my first pot wrong. 

this sounds terrible. I don't see the issue for a man to help his wife doing houseowork. Why would a man want his wife to work while he rests? shouldn't it be the other way around. Actually, how can man be resting while wife is working.

what community is this, pakistan?

[Abu_Zahra]

Wa alaikum as salam

What you say is correct, marriage is a partnership where both partners help each other out, support each other and most importantly try to get closer to Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).

Selfishness, laziness and abusive behaviour is not from the teachings of our religion. Only an ignorant person would try and defend this. 

[Momoshiki Ōtsutsuki]

In a marriage, the partners should compromise and help each other out, as men should be expected to do work around the house as well. This sort of overly toxic behavior in men should not be tolerated and society should hold them accountable.

[Guest Someone]

I really do not get this men if you free time use it in something good help your wife , even if the wife have free time should use it in good and help her husband. People with bad habits or values  affect the reputation of people with good values   or worse spreading bad values to the young people. 

[slavelight]

7 hours ago, Guest Someone said:

I really do not get this men if you free time use it in something good help your wife , even if the wife have free time should use it in good and help her husband. People with bad habits or values  affect the reputation of people with good values   or worse spreading bad values to the young people. 

definitely! how can one enjoy their free time when their spouse are working if it's possible to help them. this behaviour definitely spreads to the younger generations

[notme]

Real men don't let their wives do all the work. 

[Robin]

This is probably a good thing to talk over with a future spouse before marriage, to see if you are on the same page...