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In the Name of God بسم الله

What should you do if someone talks to you and uses curse words ?

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I came to work as a security guard and an older man i was talking to started saying the f word about something we talked about . Should I tell him not to use such language ?

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Probably not. 

You have to realize that people come from different cultures. He's an old man, probably it has been normal to use coarse language in the workplace all his life. The best you can do is keep your own words polite and dignified, and hopefully he will catch on, but don't count on it. 

If the person was young, and especially if they were a family member or entrusted to your care and guidance, you would correct them. Otherwise, be your best self and let other people do what they do. 

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On 6/2/2021 at 7:00 PM, MexicanVato said:

........don’t be so sensitive. He’d likely laugh at you if you told him not to talk like that. 

I don't think he is being sensitive, rather it is a common dilemma of muslimeen when being in the company of someone who is sinning. Do we advise them to stop or don't we? 

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19 hours ago, Mahdavist said:

I don't think he is being sensitive, rather it is a common dilemma of muslimeen when being in the company of someone who is sinning. Do we advise them to stop or don't we? 

It is wajib to if you believe it will have any effect on their behaviour.

Sistani even says that it is wajib ihtiyaati to atleast show aversion to sin by facial expression even if one knows that it is useless to advise this sinner.

So you must never act like it is all normal that someone is sinning. We are Muslims and we believe in bara'ah and nahi an al munkar, we should always have hate in our hearts towards sin of any way shape or form.

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19 hours ago, Sumerian said:

It is wajib to if you believe it will have any effect on their behaviour.

Sistani even says that it is wajib ihtiyaati to atleast show aversion to sin by facial expression even if one knows that it is useless to advise this sinner.

So you must never act like it is all normal that someone is sinning. We are Muslims and we believe in bara'ah and nahi an al munkar, we should always have hate in our hearts towards sin of any way shape or form.

Isn’t the minimum level (level of weakest faith) to hate it in the heart? 

Quote

I heard the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) say, “Whosoever of you sees an evil, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then [let him change it] with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart — and that is the weakest of faith.”

https://sunnah.com/nawawi40:34

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A lot of people will disagree with me as I expect.

1. It depends on the country you live. If you live in the west:

Just Ignore it or  If you're going to respond, do it appropriately  and respectfully. Perhaps think about the way you're going to talk about it (unless he is from same country and culture of yours)

You're working as Security Officer, Unfortunately its common to hear stuff like that from colleagues and people. So you bring it up, he and others will wonder why you doing this job when hearing people curse etc are security officer trained or will come across.

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5 hours ago, Sumerian said:

Sistani even says that it is wajib ihtiyaati to atleast show aversion to sin by facial expression even if one knows that it is useless to advise this sinner.

What language is vulgar and what language is normal depends on cultural context. It isn't a sin to say certain words; it is a sin to knowingly be vulgar. 

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53 minutes ago, notme said:

What language is vulgar and what language is normal depends on cultural context. It isn't a sin to say certain words; it is a sin to knowingly be vulgar. 

I'm just speaking about sinning in general and not this particular case.

The issue with vulgar language is another thing, and insulting/swearing language isn't always haram, in fact it can be a rewarding act in certain contexts.

I was just referring to the general question of forbidding evil.

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Posted (edited)

I mean is using the f word so wrong? Depending on context I wouldn’t think it’s a problem. Maybe if someone is disrespecting you. Sometimes I think some Shia chat members are some how saints. Like what about in the bedroom? Is it forbidden to use vulgar language? We don’t need to suck the fun out of everything. Im sure if the coworker is committing shirk that is much worse then him saying the f word. In security business, mechanic, warehouse workers and many other fields will routinely hear such talk. 
 

I talk a certain way with family, then another way with People my age or slightly older or younger. Sometimes when I greet another Mexican I might say orale or que paso ‘ese’. I don’t literally mean that he is a gangster. I couldn’t imagine someone stopping me and saying “hey Juan you referring to me as ‘ese’ is inappropriate”. 

Edited by MexicanVato
Typos from phone. Wait I’m suppose to be working
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22 minutes ago, MexicanVato said:

I mean is using the f word so wrong? Depending on context I wouldn’t think it’s a problem. Maybe if someone is disrespecting you. Sometimes I think some Shia chat members are some how saints. Like what about in the bedroom? Is it forbidden to use vulgar language? We don’t need to suck the fun out of everything. Im sure if the coworker is committing shirk that is much worse then him saying the f word. In security business, mechanic, warehouse workers and many other fields will routinely hear such talk. 
 

I talk a certain way with family, then another way with People my age or slightly older or younger. Sometimes when I greet another Mexican I might say orale or que paso ‘ese’. I don’t literally mean that he is a gangster. I couldn’t imagine someone stopping me and saying “hey Juan you referring to me as ‘ese’ is inappropriate”. 

Tbh I get the same saintly realization when I am on SC. But personally, whatever counts as an abuse for me, I don't use that terms. And not boasting, but it took a lot of courage and patience for me and my tongue to adopt this change. 

Almost everyone amongst my friends up until now has been extremely vulgur in the friend circle. Making jokes that are HORRIBLE and then laughing like a devil. Convincing them to not abuse can even backfire. Generally, when I try they provoke me to use all these words. So, it is really awkward at times to deal with such situation.

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