Best place to meet Shia women?

[BleedKnee]

Tried out online dating apps that allowed you to filter religion and added some Shia images to show that I was Shia. And really nothing kind of came out of it. 

I think partly its because even those that assigned themselves as Muslim want to just casually date, and also partly because online dating feels so alienating. Feels better to actually get to know a person, personally and then and only then I could figure out if I'm attracted to them. 

Anyhoo...what are places you've guys been to that you've met your spouses? 

[Meedy]

I am single as you are.

I've tried the dating site this is what I found:

- Some Sign up then leave, they don't cancel their account, they just leave it there.

- They don't put photos (they may have valid reasons) but its possible individuals may ask the person as they don't want to reject person on appearance.

- A lot seems to be from a certain countries which may makes it uncomfortable to approach or talk (e.g. security concerns) or maybe its just me or preference not to go to those countries.

Local Communities:

Its hard unless is there family connections and know people in the community. So if person is revert or don't have strong or few connections it hard (based on my experiences)

So I am only left with 1 options which is arrange marriage which families in Iran would try and perhaps find persons that may be suitable for me.

I wish I knew more places or methods to find Shia Women.

I apologise, I know this does not help. I thought I share my experience and hope someone will come up with a better advice/suggestions.

[Mahdavist]

Instead of filtering dating sites maybe you need to directly try matrimonial sites. They seemed to work for people who I know. 

Otherwise it might be worth speaking to the scholars in the masajid of your region. They might direct you to someone.

[guest 2025]

Get involved in mosque activities? A lot of mosques have clubs and groups. But don't joke with the girls, I see youth often making that mistake in the clubs.

Besides that you could contact mosques and see if they have a match-making service.

Edited June 2, 2021 by guest 2025

[BleedKnee]

5 hours ago, guest 2025 said:

Besides that you could contact mosques and see if they have a match-making service.

That's gonna be an awkward conversation 

"Ya Sheikh, can you hook a boy up?"

Thanks 

[Abu Hadi]

One of the good ways to meet Shia women is to get involved in your local Community. Go the the masjid for Jumma, Muharram, Youth Event, etc. I don't know about other places, but in Dearborn, there are lots of these events happening all year long, not just in Muharram and Ramadan. Even if you have to drive (hours), it's worth it. 

You can also use dating apps, but I think this shouldn't be the primary way you use to meet someone. Like others have said, it's really hard to figure out, from the information that is posted, who the girl is, etc. The information you have is very little, and it doesn't help that most women on Muslim matrimonial sites don't post pictures and their profiles are usually very generic, so you can't tell one from the other. I would tell these women, that if you don't post pictures, and post a generic profile, you're wasting your time, pretty much. If you're going to use dating apps, you need to post enough information that someone can get to know you, kind of, from what you post. Noone is going to agree to marry someone from a generic profile and no pictures. If you expect someone to go to another state or fly to another country to meet you when this is all the information you gave them, good luck with that. If you're not willing to share good and accurate information about yourself, that a potential spouse could use to make a decision about meeting you (including pictures), then don't bother with dating apps. 

Obviously the best way, by far, to meet someone is thru family or mutual friends. There is no substitute for this and there probably never will be. The vast majority of couples meet this way and I don't see this changing anytime soon. If you don't have this option, only then should you consider the other methods above. If meeting thru family and friends isn't an option, you should try every avenue available to you, online and offline, and don't discount any of these. Also, and most importantly, you must be willing to take risks and put yourself in uncomfortable and awkward situations and don't be afraid of rejection. If you get rejected, always keep in mind that 'She is not rejecting me, because she doesn't know me, she is rejecting the way I'm presenting myself to her'. So then figure out how you can present a more accurate picture of who you are to a girl you would like to meet. 

 

Edited June 2, 2021 by Abu Hadi

[guest 2025]

2 hours ago, BleedKnee said:

That's gonna be an awkward conversation 

"Ya Sheikh, can you hook a boy up?"

Thanks 

Loool. No it's not like that. They should have files and files of people in the program. You'd go in, and fill out a form that asks for your preferences. "Has to have a degree/ has to be over 6ft/ has to have a job/ has to be of this race/ etc."

[Guest Guest]

What if our mosque has no youth groups?

[Ali_Hussain]

On 6/2/2021 at 1:45 AM, BleedKnee said:

Tried out online dating apps that allowed you to filter religion and added some Shia images to show that I was Shia. And really nothing kind of came out of it. 

I think partly its because even those that assigned themselves as Muslim want to just casually date, and also partly because online dating feels so alienating. Feels better to actually get to know a person, personally and then and only then I could figure out if I'm attracted to them. 

Anyhoo...what are places you've guys been to that you've met your spouses? 

Which ones did you look at? The odds look pretty good on Shia Matrimonial - 93/201 makes a change from the usual 10340/183 (although it probably depends on how the male/female ratio of sayeds is spread out)

At a glance
All Members: 298	Show
Male: 93	Show
Female: 201	Show
Syed: 197	Show
Non-Syed: 101	Show

 

 

[BleedKnee]

3 hours ago, Ali_Hussain said:

Which ones did you look at? The odds look pretty good on Shia Matrimonial - 93/201 makes a change from the usual 10340/183 (although it probably depends on how the male/female ratio of sayeds is spread out)

At a glance
All Members: 298	Show
Male: 93	Show
Female: 201	Show
Syed: 197	Show
Non-Syed: 101	Show

 

 

Just Hinge and muzmatch

[Uni Student]

Just now, BleedKnee said:

Just Hinge and muzmatch

Hinge definitely will not work for you its a nonmuslim site meant pretty much for hookups LOL

[MexicanVato]

On 6/7/2021 at 7:54 PM, Uni Student said:

Hinge definitely will not work for you its a nonmuslim site meant pretty much for hookups LOL

LOL! You on there bro?

Salams is another app, you can filter by sect. I met two yemeni women off of there. 

[Patient Warrior]

On 6/2/2021 at 3:49 PM, BleedKnee said:

That's gonna be an awkward conversation 

"Ya Sheikh, can you hook a boy up?"

Thanks 

Not even! The Sheikh will be glad to help. Nobody is more aware of the community and its provisions then an active imam. You should really consider this route. I have a feeling he even has the power to put the word out.

[Uni Student]

2 hours ago, MexicanVato said:

LOL! You on there bro?

Noooo lol

[Guest Guest]

Unrelated question:

About how long dialogue between two singles take? I know it will be different for everyone but how long is TOO long to get to know someone before doubt starts creeping into the mind?

[BleedKnee]

13 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

Unrelated question:

About how long dialogue between two singles take? I know it will be different for everyone but how long is TOO long to get to know someone before doubt starts creeping into the mind?

It's never too long. You're trying to see if you can live with each other the rest of your life akhi 

[guest 2025]

On 6/7/2021 at 1:13 PM, Guest Guest said:

What if our mosque has no youth groups?

There might be one at a bit of a distance. There's a guy at the mosque I go to who drives 50 minutes to get here.

 

14 hours ago, Guest Guest said:

About how long dialogue between two singles take? I know it will be different for everyone but how long is TOO long to get to know someone before doubt starts creeping into the mind?

Not very long or never. This is sort of unrelated but there is a bit of advice that I would like to share. Despite what some might think, you can't really talk or charm your way into getting a woman to like you. She has already decided that and judged you before you say a word to her, and then she will consider what you've done with your life in terms of career and level of piety, THEN she will look at your character and personality which she will gauge from your words and actions. Look at the process like a job interview. You can't just get the job by nailing the interview, you have to qualify to even have the chance to be interviewed by finishing high school and getting a degree. So you could make the common mistake of talking to a girl for 8 months thinking one thing and she's only being courteous and friendly. This is why I like match-making services. You know just the sheikh arranging a meeting between you two is validation that she is fine with where you are in life and your appearance. You know you've passed the first two hurdles and now it's only your eman and your character that will be judged.

[Abu Hadi]

Quote

 if u want a woman with blue eyes say so that’s way there is no awkwardness if they organise a meeet with someone expecting something to be fruitful and find out u didn’t turn up cause she had brown eyes etc it can hurt families and girls confidence and might make the community look down upon you, cause people do talk unfortunately 

Lenses are very common now so that's a pretty easy request. 

[guest 2025]

30 minutes ago, Abu Hadi said:

Lenses are very common now so that's a pretty easy request. 

Yeah lol. And if you're gonna turn down a good woman because she has brown eyes then perhaps you do deserve to be bamboozled 

[theEndIsNear]

1 hour ago, guest 2025 said:

Yeah lol. And if you're gonna turn down a good woman because she has brown eyes then perhaps you do deserve to be bamboozled 

It’s not me okay? I wasn’t saying that’s what I want but there is people who have their mind on something whatever it is eyes colour shape I don’t know height ? Weight ? Race? Whatever 

all I’m saying people just need to be honest with themselves about what they want so there is no misunderstanding, there is no shame for asking for these things, better than on wedding day running away cause u went along with it cause u couldn’t vocalise what ur needs or wants were and was ashamed to say no or what u want 

that was my point 

[Ali_Hussain]

On 6/8/2021 at 1:53 AM, BleedKnee said:

Just Hinge and muzmatch

A Sunni friend of mine uses that muzmatch, he is constantly raving about it, like a kid in a candy shop. I guess it is more geared towards them.

[Lion of Shia]

4 minutes ago, Ali_Hussain said:

A Sunni friend of mine uses that muzmatch, he is constantly raving about it, like a kid in a candy shop. I guess it is more geared towards them.

im never successful on any of them,i get spam and fake profiles!!!

[Uni Student]

1 hour ago, Ali_Hussain said:

A Sunni friend of mine uses that muzmatch, he is constantly raving about it, like a kid in a candy shop. I guess it is more geared towards them.

 

1 hour ago, Lion of Shia said:

im never successful on any of them,i get spam and fake profiles!!!

Pay for a premium membership and I think you can filter to only see shia profiles

[Guest Wafi]

On 6/16/2021 at 10:52 PM, Ali_Hussain said:

A Sunni friend of mine uses that muzmatch, he is constantly raving about it, like a kid in a candy shop. I guess it is more geared towards them.

Muzmatch is full of crazies. I talked to many and so far it dosnt sound good at all. 1 thing which i cannot understand about Sunnis that they think Shia's are not muslims where do they get these information what are there parents teaching there kids.  and some say we rent our wifes to our neightbours which litterly drove me away from that site. I'v tried hinge and many other sites and apps, they are even worst, some sunnis say we have a different quran another bom shell there. out of maybe 60 poeple i spoken to 2 which are open minded from all the apps and sites...  Even though with all this still being positive. 

There's not many shias in london. And the majority are sunnis so people like us living in London our community are tiny.. 

Finding someone now requires a full time job. its getting even crazyier to talk to women now without being trashed away. Dont know it might be me who is having the worst luck lol...

 

[Lion of Shia]

1 hour ago, Guest Wafi said:

Muzmatch is full of crazies. I talked to many and so far it dosnt sound good at all. 1 thing which i cannot understand about Sunnis that they think Shia's are not muslims where do they get these information what are there parents teaching there kids.  and some say we rent our wifes to our neightbours which litterly drove me away from that site. I'v tried hinge and many other sites and apps, they are even worst, some sunnis say we have a different quran another bom shell there. out of maybe 60 poeple i spoken to 2 which are open minded from all the apps and sites...  Even though with all this still being positive. 

There's not many shias in london. And the majority are sunnis so people like us living in London our community are tiny.. 

Finding someone now requires a full time job. its getting even crazyier to talk to women now without being trashed away. Dont know it might be me who is having the worst luck lol...

 

they rent their wives to their neighbors? Swinging?

[Guest Window]

On 6/1/2021 at 5:45 PM, BleedKnee said:

to them. 

Anyhoo...what are places you've guys been to that you've met your spouses?

I met my husband online on a personality forum. Not a dating site. 

We are both into psychology and personality types. So all we did was talk about personality types. We didn't even consider being together because 1. It's the internet 2. Not every person you talk to is going to be your future spouse. It's naive to assume rapport = marriage-material.

Then we found out we are both Muslim. We thought, "Wow, what a coincidence!" So we talked as good friends, and I liked his character. We talked about our days, the good and the bad, things we've been through, etc. So because it was so easy and our values aligned, we decided that we were going to "date" with the intention of marriage (if everything went well). We wanted to find out if we were compatible. It wasn't solely emotion-driven, but a mix of logic, emotion, and asking ourselves, "Is this a stable, kind person, committed to growth? Or is it just infatuation?"

So eventually we did get married! 

My advice/bottom line: You'll find love when you least expect it. Know what you want, write down a list of what you want in a spouse. And not just generic things like, "Kind, prays on time, religious" -- that's too generic because many number of people can fit that description. It's not about the basics like "practicing Muslim" or "wants kids". You have to really think about what you want. What are the things you can live with, what red flags can you absolutely not stand in a partner? What qualities will make you happy/unhappy long-term? What are you able to compromise on? Only you can answer those things. Once you've really thought about it, set your intention, and let God bring the person you are meant to be with. Everything will happen when it's meant to be.

Remember that although the journey is frustrating now, it'll be so worth the wait. Just be patient, continue your search, be proactive, and let God take care of it. 

[Maisam Haider]

On 6/3/2021 at 4:40 AM, Abu Hadi said:

One of the good ways to meet Shia women is to get involved in your local Community. Go the the masjid for Jumma, Muharram, Youth Event, etc.

I understand this is a good advice for Muslims living in the West where women, like men, attend mosques/Islamic centres etc. to stay connected to their religion and with the Muslim community. So this advice is beneficial for them.

But in Pakistan, for example, a man seeking to get married will not even think about visiting the mosque for this purpose. That's because there is no concept of women going to mosques here. It is almost an unheard thing. It would be very unusual and surprising if a woman goes to a mosque to pray. 

[Abu Hadi]

It doesn't have to be the masjid specifically. It could be an Islamic organization that does charity work / projects in the community, or volunteering at a school, etc. If you want to find women who are muslim, with ethics and values that come from Islam, you should try to go to places where those type of women are. You will find them in the masjid (at least here in the West), at Muharram commemorations, and doing charity work in the community. So if you want to meet them, you should go to those places. 

[Maisam Haider]

On 11/10/2021 at 3:33 PM, Abu Hadi said:

 at Muharram commemorations

Just a comment......Talking specifically about Pakistan, yes...muharram events are places where match-making can take place. But this doesn't mean an interaction between a boy and a girl (like in the West). Here, because it's all segregated... it's the mothers who are on the lookout for potential wives for their sons in the Mohurram gatherings. 

Just comparing differences between the West and East. 

Edited November 12, 2021 by Maisam Haider