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In the Name of God بسم الله

How to actually have trust in Allah and patience.

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  • Advanced Member

Salam - how does one have patience, when he is not aware of his future ? And how does one have trust in Allah when he hasn’t promised you the future YOU EXPECT? 

 

Specially if someone is looking to get married, but he has not been able to find anyone. How does one identify between a test and a punishment. 

 

I recon I could be patience if I knew in the end of the road, there is nothing but good. But someone times I’m filled with anxiety and stress of finding the right person to marry as no one has promised I will get a chaste and shy/practicing woman.  

 

I have heard so many story’s of people getting married and then finding out their wife’s have sexual past and then I have just been filled with worries of.. what if I get tricked and then live a life of humiliation ? 

 

How do I know Allah will take care of me when I’m not worthy of being taken care of ? 

 

I guess it just boils down to trust in Allah - but what promise do I have Allah will look after me ? What if he decides he wants to test me with a bad person ? I can’t really complain can I because he knows best. 

 

The problem is if he did ... I recon I could take it for the sake of Allah... BUT I don’t want to.... Allah does not burned a soul with what it cannot bear.  But the problem is if push came to shove... I can bear it. But I just don’t want.  

 

Unfortunately due to this mindset I have been living in the future and been so concerned about it which has clearly causes me anxiety. 

 

Then this delay in marriage ( I have been looking for around 5 months now) is just fuelling my anxiety. 

 

I’m learning a lot through this process BUT BOIIII do I hate the process LOOOL 

 My main concern is how do I actually have trust in Allah ?  Especially when I know if it doesn’t work out good.. I’ll get thought it... I’m just terrified to do so. 
 

I guess my main issue is a mixture of trust in Allah, contentment in his will and patience for his sake. 
 

Any advice ? 

Jazakallah 

 

 

 

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Salam...

There was an hadith from Fatema Zahra.. "Believe in Allah and follow it (stick to it)".

Once we believe in Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى), we care less on the outcomes from our request to Him.  We just trust Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) because He is Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).

We wait until Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) decide for us to understand on the outcomes of our request. That may happen maybe in the hereafter.

The issue with us, as human, we expect Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) to follow our wishes or expectations.  Sort of we tell God..i am begging to You, and because of that You are to grant  me my wishes! This is satanic in nature.

We worship, making doa or glorify Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).. as part of trust to Him (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى).  Then leave the matters to Him (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) because He knows better.

To increase our Sabr, then always say Alhamdulillah, the Sabr will be with us.

In ziarat ashura  toward the end part, even after what has happened to Imam Hussain (عليه السلام) and his followers at Karbala, we still read

" O my Allah! (All) praise is for You (alone); praise of the "Ever-thankful to You", who glorify You whatever come to pass. (All) praise is for Allah for my deep-felt intense grief. "

Thanking Allah (سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى) give us Sabr.

Wallahualam.

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As-salam alaykom,

 

I perceive that you are living in a western country? 

The compatibility between you and your wife includes many things.

From the beginning honesty, truthfulness, sincerity, compassion and forgiveness: on both sides his and hers.

 

In this recent century, many girls in the west have been disrupted from their safety zone and molested against their will.

Many have been raped or forced into sexual circumstances that have been beyond their control.

Many have lost control and who knows what they have seen.

 

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala prefers balance, harmony, equality, fairness and truth in all things.

 

You have every right to request to marry a chaste woman, who is only for you.

Do not expect to find her in the usual places.

Many chaste girls/women are kept inside their homes in the west and you will never know about them.

Many chaste girls/women let everyone know that they want to marry and that they are known chaste, but they refuse many suitors or they are ignored/overlooked.

 

Outside the western countries:

For instance, many chaste women work along with or are known by Mosques and religious organizations like Sayyed Muhammad Hussein Fadl-Allāh in Lebanon or other places. They are unknown, humble and chaste girls/women. They have the right to agree or not agree to a marriage proposal. Mosques outside the west may know of chaste women who desire marriage.

There might be the possibility to marry a girl/woman from our Umma, who is suffering terrible tragedy and loss. Maybe you could contact the Fatima al Zahra Trust Charity and tell them you are looking for this type of wife. Maybe they would arrange a marriage for you with an unfortunate girl/woman from Syria, Yemen, Iraq or Afghanistan. Many would be grateful for the offer of marriage. And they deserve to be married to a serious minded, religious and kind man like you who requires their clean reputation. There is great opportunity and security of mind for you with this choice. (Maybe you could marry four chaste women from these places).

If that organisation is not willing to assist/facilitate, you can ask them to direct you to a Mosque in the various areas and the Imam can introduce you to your potential chaste and humble, deserving spouse.

The decision to marry a deserving chaste girl/woman from our Umma that has suffered devastation is a heroic and great honour. 

 

Of course prayers to Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala are absolutely necessary to find your deserving chaste spouse.

And you will have to make the effort to find her. Allah Ta'ala will help with all of the connections and possibilities, but you will have to answer the calls.

 

Your chaste spouse is out there, but she is not in the usual places.

 

 

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Jazakallah both -

 

yes live in the west. And I agree, the women that are good are not known. I had this cousins with a lot of friends who mention how women are like and I  also had a similar opinion that they are out there just the fact they are good is WHY you don’t know about them.  
 

guess it’s just the worry of.. is that for me ? 
 

But again thanks for advice etc

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Posted (edited)

Salam

Wow, I really resonate with your post, it's as if I could have written it. I'm no prophet whose trust in Allah is so great I could walk on water, but I can share with you how I think. I feel better when I think about how Allah will always be just and fair, no matter what. I proposed to someone through her family and was rejected. Of course it stings, but no matter what I can't not see it as a mercy. It is possible that she was problematic and Allah mercifully spared me from a hardship. It is possible that marriage at this point in life would have ruined all of my plans and Allah mercifully spared me from a hardship. It is possible that I am bad for her and He mercifully spared her from a hardship. It is possible that He has a a better spouse for me and He is merciful in that way. Or it is possible that I am JUSTLY being punished for something bad that I did, in which case He is getting revenge on me for the person I've hurt. And even then, perhaps this punishment is a means to purify me of my sins.

Either way it's all fair and just, no matter what the case is. He doesn't do anything for no reason. There are people who will go to Heaven just because their spouse gave them a hard time. What I'm trying to say is that being okay with whatever happens is important in developing this trust. 

There are many ways you can trust in Allah. Try to be specific and ponder what you mean when you say having trust in Allah. "I trust Allah to...." what? Personally I trust Allah to be fair and just in anything that happens, and that His solutions to our problems are better than anything we could come up with.

 

 

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Guest anotha brotha
On 5/17/2021 at 8:01 PM, S Hussain said:

I have heard so many story’s of people getting married and then finding out their wife’s have sexual past and then I have just been filled with worries of.. what if I get tricked and then live a life of humiliation ? 

Have this discussion before marriage and stress the importance of complete openness and not starting a relationship based on lies and secrets

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On 5/18/2021 at 1:01 PM, S Hussain said:

Salam - how does one have patience, when he is not aware of his future ? And how does one have trust in Allah when he hasn’t promised you the future YOU EXPECT? 

 

Specially if someone is looking to get married, but he has not been able to find anyone. How does one identify between a test and a punishment. 

 

I recon I could be patience if I knew in the end of the road, there is nothing but good. But someone times I’m filled with anxiety and stress of finding the right person to marry as no one has promised I will get a chaste and shy/practicing woman.  

 

I have heard so many story’s of people getting married and then finding out their wife’s have sexual past and then I have just been filled with worries of.. what if I get tricked and then live a life of humiliation ? 

 

How do I know Allah will take care of me when I’m not worthy of being taken care of ? 

 

I guess it just boils down to trust in Allah - but what promise do I have Allah will look after me ? What if he decides he wants to test me with a bad person ? I can’t really complain can I because he knows best. 

 

The problem is if he did ... I recon I could take it for the sake of Allah... BUT I don’t want to.... Allah does not burned a soul with what it cannot bear.  But the problem is if push came to shove... I can bear it. But I just don’t want.  

 

Unfortunately due to this mindset I have been living in the future and been so concerned about it which has clearly causes me anxiety. 

 

Then this delay in marriage ( I have been looking for around 5 months now) is just fuelling my anxiety. 

 

I’m learning a lot through this process BUT BOIIII do I hate the process LOOOL 

 My main concern is how do I actually have trust in Allah ?  Especially when I know if it doesn’t work out good.. I’ll get thought it... I’m just terrified to do so. 
 

I guess my main issue is a mixture of trust in Allah, contentment in his will and patience for his sake. 
 

Any advice ? 

Jazakallah 

 

 

 

Trust comes from faith and I’m sorry to say doesn’t sound like urs is solid yet

u need to have faith that God knows what is best for you 

‘that if God gives u something u won’t be disappointed and there is a reason for it

maybe for u the test will be u get a woman with a past but what if she actually is better than u ? What if her faith is going to outshine yours? Will that bother u? Then what u get angry at God leave religion go do all the wrong things and by the time ur exhausted ur self u realise she was actually what u needed but now u messed it all up and it’s too late?

u need faith and strong faith life is hard we will get tested til u feel ur broken beyond repair, that will happen ,if it doesn’t then be worried because if ur not tested u never achieved faith, God only tests people once they have faith

if they never do and God leaves u forgets you gives u this life everything u want then when u die and ur short time here passes then what? Forgotten in eternity maybe hell because of 40-50 years of enjoyment in his pathetic measly horrible life where evil is done daily and the arrogant tyrants rule and steal the rights of good innocent people look at Palestine Yemen Syria Iran Afghanistan libya Iraq , people don’t have food to east safety over their heads 

and ur worrying about a woman with a past as if God does random things and makes mistakes and gives u what u hate?

or maybe what u hate u what u need , there is an verse of the Quran that says “do u dislike what God has given you and maybe what u hate us better for you” paraphrasing 

this life will pass in 50 years if we live that long , most of the people around u including the people here will be dead and their next eternity will be based upon that short life here , so make it worthwhile and remember ur purpose in earth , it isn’t for perfect picturesque life with the perfect job life house income while most of the world is struggling to live in peace to eat to sleep safely 

Sorry for sounding harsh but that’s the reality u need to come to terms with 

Edited by theEndIsNear
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4 hours ago, theEndIsNear said:

Trust comes from faith and I’m sorry to say doesn’t sound like urs is solid yet

u need to have faith that God knows what is best for you 

‘that if God gives u something u won’t be disappointed and there is a reason for it

maybe for u the test will be u get a woman with a past but what if she actually is better than u ? What if her faith is going to outshine yours? Will that bother u? Then what u get angry at God leave religion go do all the wrong things and by the time ur exhausted ur self u realise she was actually what u needed but now u messed it all up and it’s too late?

u need faith and strong faith life is hard we will get tested til u feel ur broken beyond repair, that will happen ,if it doesn’t then be worried because if ur not tested u never achieved faith, God only tests people once they have faith

if they never do and God leaves u forgets you gives u this life everything u want then when u die and ur short time here passes then what? Forgotten in eternity maybe hell because of 40-50 years of enjoyment in his pathetic measly horrible life where evil is done daily and the arrogant tyrants rule and steal the rights of good innocent people look at Palestine Yemen Syria Iran Afghanistan libya Iraq , people don’t have food to east safety over their heads 

and ur worrying about a woman with a past as if God does random things and makes mistakes and gives u what u hate?

or maybe what u hate u what u need , there is an verse of the Quran that says “do u dislike what God has given you and maybe what u hate us better for you” paraphrasing 

this life will pass in 50 years if we live that long , most of the people around u including the people here will be dead and their next eternity will be based upon that short life here , so make it worthwhile and remember ur purpose in earth , it isn’t for perfect picturesque life with the perfect job life house income while most of the world is struggling to live in peace to eat to sleep safely 

Sorry for sounding harsh but that’s the reality u need to come to terms with 

As-salam alaykom,

 

A woman with an unchaste past can not make the same demands in marriage nor has she the same honour as a Chaste woman.

A chaste man never has to consider marrying an unchaste woman.

Women with an unchaste past hide their shame and regret, by changing the rules and praying that everyone will obey her and exonerate her.

The unchaste women has been wrong. She has suffered from a serious lack of good reason and self control. There is a price for this misbehavior.

She cannot put herself next to the Chaste woman and claim that she is just as good, because she definitely is not.

The Chaste woman is in a category all her own and she Deserves the Respect and Honour from all of us women.

Our brother has the right to marry a chaste woman and he never has to consider marrying an unchaste woman.

 

How many marriages are destroyed by young girls who refuse to wear hijab or wear the "free n easy Exciting" hijab and entice men away from their wives and marriages. It is chronic in our society. The young unmarried girls are to blame for a massive disruption in our family system. They are extremely irresponsible! We are married families out here! Many of these young girls have no respect for married women and then when it is their turn to get married after a "party of a youth" they want to demand all rights of marriage without having any purity or even money to offer in return. They want everyone to love them and give them a "free ride". They do not want to pay anything!

There is a huge anger and disagreement between chaste married women and the unmarried "party girl" who wants her cake baked perfectly and served on a silver platter.

 

 

 

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3 hours ago, Tabassum Iman said:

As-salam alaykom,

 

A woman with an unchaste past can not make the same demands in marriage nor has she the same honour as a Chaste woman.

A chaste man never has to consider marrying an unchaste woman.

Women with an unchaste past hide their shame and regret, by changing the rules and praying that everyone will obey her and exonerate her.

The unchaste women has been wrong. She has suffered from a serious lack of good reason and self control. There is a price for this misbehavior.

She cannot put herself next to the Chaste woman and claim that she is just as good, because she definitely is not.

The Chaste woman is in a category all her own and she Deserves the Respect and Honour from all of us women.

Our brother has the right to marry a chaste woman and he never has to consider marrying an unchaste woman.

 

How many marriages are destroyed by young girls who refuse to wear hijab or wear the "free n easy Exciting" hijab and entice men away from their wives and marriages. It is chronic in our society. The young unmarried girls are to blame for a massive disruption in our family system. They are extremely irresponsible! We are married families out here! Many of these young girls have no respect for married women and then when it is their turn to get married after a "party of a youth" they want to demand all rights of marriage without having any purity or even money to offer in return. They want everyone to love them and give them a "free ride". They do not want to pay anything!

There is a huge anger and disagreement between chaste married women and the unmarried "party girl" who wants her cake baked perfectly and served on a silver platter.

 

 

 

How can u say that, if a woman has changed and received God’s forgiveness and furthermore went even further than ur average Muslim and truly submitted to God wholeheartedly, while your siting comfortably at home thinking I never did that and based your faith on your comfort  , and u never go forth into submission to God because of pride and thinking ur better than others 

pride is a cancer to faith , thinking ur better than someone else just because of knowing they didn’t hold out like you did at one point is actually ur vice, at least the sinful person won’t fall into that mistake because they will always feel guilty and shameful of their past and that would hold them together to always submit to God wholeheartedly and continuously because of the fear that they didn’t get forgiveness, while ur sitting on ur moral high horse walking around thinking ur better than everyone else 

it’s quiet sad , I’d rather be a woman who made mistakes then submitted to God and felt shame all her life and always that made me humble and submissive to God than someone who feels proud and thinks they’re better than others and feels ‘safe’ from hellfire hence their efforts are very minimal

 

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Posted (edited)
9 hours ago, theEndIsNear said:

Trust comes from faith and I’m sorry to say doesn’t sound like urs is solid yet

u need to have faith that God knows what is best for you 

‘that if God gives u something u won’t be disappointed and there is a reason for it

maybe for u the test will be u get a woman with a past but what if she actually is better than u ? What if her faith is going to outshine yours? Will that bother u? Then what u get angry at God leave religion go do all the wrong things and by the time ur exhausted ur self u realise she was actually what u needed but now u messed it all up and it’s too late?

u need faith and strong faith life is hard we will get tested til u feel ur broken beyond repair, that will happen ,if it doesn’t then be worried because if ur not tested u never achieved faith, God only tests people once they have faith

if they never do and God leaves u forgets you gives u this life everything u want then when u die and ur short time here passes then what? Forgotten in eternity maybe hell because of 40-50 years of enjoyment in his pathetic measly horrible life where evil is done daily and the arrogant tyrants rule and steal the rights of good innocent people look at Palestine Yemen Syria Iran Afghanistan libya Iraq , people don’t have food to east safety over their heads 

and ur worrying about a woman with a past as if God does random things and makes mistakes and gives u what u hate?

or maybe what u hate u what u need , there is an verse of the Quran that says “do u dislike what God has given you and maybe what u hate us better for you” paraphrasing 

this life will pass in 50 years if we live that long , most of the people around u including the people here will be dead and their next eternity will be based upon that short life here , so make it worthwhile and remember ur purpose in earth , it isn’t for perfect picturesque life with the perfect job life house income while most of the world is struggling to live in peace to eat to sleep safely 

Sorry for sounding harsh but that’s the reality u need to come to terms with 

A Chaste woman is better than an unchaste woman. There can never be an argument about this truth.

 

It is true that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala does forgive sins, including promiscuity.

I know a true story of a Christian girl who through many manipulations was forced into prostitution. A Muslim man found her and rescued her from this place. He married her and she became a revert. She wears a Niqab and speaks openly about her past to other women Niqabis. Everyone accepts her as a married chaste woman now after her marriage, revert to Islam and Niqab conservative clothing, grateful attitude and correct behaviour. Through her husband's mercy and faith, and the mercy of Islam, she was able to get a fresh, clean start. 

She is a pillar of faith and a testament to the Truth of Allah Ta'ala's Forgiveness. She is now admired and loved as a chaste married faithful woman.

 

Why is it that a girl who has been molested and raped feels that no one will accept her as a wife and a girl who has had several boyfriends with intercourse feels that everyone has to marry her and pay her way with no hesitation nor questions asked?

Where is the origin of this strange mindset?

 

Chaste men with chaste women and unchaste men with unchaste women. There has to be a balance and equality in the system. There is someone for everyone and there are many men who have grown up in disasters and tragedy who would love to marry a woman who reverted to Islam and has seen the error her her ways and repented. He knows that she will be faithful to him and will never return to the past. He can feel safe with her, because she knows there is nothing better for a woman than the married life.  (she knows the dating life is a ruin for women, she guards her chastity and wears perfect hijab with niqab).

Also there are chaste women who will marry a man with an unchaste past. This is an easier match. Some day, I will explain why. But it is a physical dimension regarding the womb that women cannot deny.

There is hope for all believers, but we must obey all of the rules. 

Allah Knows Best.

 

 

Edited by Tabassum Iman
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15 minutes ago, Tabassum Iman said:

A Chaste woman is better than an unchaste woman. There can never be an argument about this truth.

 

It is true that Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala does forgive sins, including promiscuity.

I know a true story of a Christian girl who through many manipulations was forced into prostitution. A Muslim man found her and rescued her from this place. He married her and she became a revert. She wears a Niqab and speaks openly about her past to other women Niqabis. Everyone accepts her as a married chaste woman now after her marriage, revert to Islam and Niqab conservative clothing, grateful attitude and correct behaviour. Through her husband's mercy and faith, and the mercy of Islam, she was able to get a fresh, clean start. 

She is a pillar of faith and a testament to the Truth of Allah Ta'ala's Forgiveness. She is now admired and loved as a chaste married faithful woman.

 

Why is it that a girl who has been molested and raped feels that no one will accept her as a wife and a girl who has had several boyfriends with intercourse feels that everyone has to marry her and pay her way with no hesitation nor questions asked?

Where is the origin of this strange mindset?

 

Chaste men with chaste women and unchaste men with unchaste women. There has to be a balance and equality in the system. There is someone for everyone and there are many men who have grown up in disasters and tragedy who would love to marry a woman who reverted to Islam and has seen the error her her ways and repented. He knows that she will be faithful to him and will never return to the past. He can feel safe with her, because she knows there is nothing better for a woman than the married life.  (she knows the dating life is a ruin for women, she guards her chastity and wears perfect hijab with niqab).

Also there are chaste women who will marry a man with an unchaste past. This is an easier match. Some day, I will explain why. But it is a physical dimension regarding the womb that women cannot deny.

There is hope for all believers, but we must obey all of the rules. 

Allah Knows Best.

 

 

U seem to be confused, a chaste woman and a woman who changed her behaviour and repented are equal they are both technically chaste 

but if u think ur better than someone cause u don’t have a past u already have pride hence ur also in sin, pride is worse than adultery, when U think ur better than someone else ur just saying this crumb is better than that crumb

even a prophet who thought himself better than other due to being a prophet would instantly lose their prophethood

same goes for imam

Two Hadith come to mind , prophet yusuf (عليه السلام) when he didn’t get off his horse to greet his father and losing prophethood in his descendants and Musa (عليه السلام) when he was tested where God tells him to go find a person in his ummah that is worse than himself and he return with a rabid dog and gets told if u had brought anyone back prophethood would have been lifted from you immediately 

just goes to show how deadly pride is even if it’s based on I don’t sin or I do more worship than u or I’m this or that or whatever 

u seem way too proud of yourself and you seem to look down upon people 

there is no justification for that action ever , even if U were imam Ali u could never think ur self better , because before God we are all rubbish and all good we have is because of God blessing and all good behaviour is because of God and He can take it away any second we are always in debt to Him

Even prophet Muhammad said you should think 40 good things of a person before u think of one

https://www.al-islam.org/greater-sins-volume-3-ayatullah-sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastghaib-shirazi/thirty-third-greater-sin-pride

https://www.al-islam.org/forty-hadith-an-exposition-second-edition-imam-khomeini/fourth-hadith-pride-kibr

Arrogance and Pride

Amir ul Mu'mineen ‘Ali (‘a) said: "Do not become obstinate (and do not strictly follow your own ideas), because such a one will meet destruction."

Tasnif Ghurar-ul-Hikam, p. 443

Imam Amir ul Mu'mineen (‘a) said: "He who considers himself a great one (self-conceited), is naught with Allah. 

Tasnif Ghurar-ul-Hikam, p. 308 & Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 6, p. 91

Imam Amir ul Mu'mineen ‘Ali (‘a) said: "Two things cause people to be destroyed (and lead unto Hell): fear of poverty, and seeking superiority through pride."

Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 72, p. 39

Imam Amir ul Mu'mineen ‘Ali (‘a) said: "You should avoid self-admiration, having reliance upon what appears good in yourself, and love of exaggerated praise because this is one of the most reliable opportunities for Satan."

Ghurar-ul-Hikam, p. 298

Imam as-Sadiq (‘a) said: "He who has even a little arrogance in his heart will not be allowed to enter Heaven."

Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 310

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Do you believe that a woman who has suffered and struggled to guard her Chasity and Modesty her during entire life against ridicule, loneliness and societal pressure is equal to a woman who had many boyfriends with intercourse, flirting, mixed parties etc...?

 

Are they equal?

Do you know what it takes to remain Chaste and Modest during your entire life in this world?

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35 minutes ago, Tabassum Iman said:

Do you believe that a woman who has suffered and struggled to guard her Chasity and Modesty her during entire life against ridicule, loneliness and societal pressure is equal to a woman who had many boyfriends with intercourse, flirting, mixed parties etc...?

 

Are they equal?

Do you know what it takes to remain Chaste and Modest during your entire life in this world?

U seriously do have a problem with arrogance and pride 

the devil fell from heaven after 6000 years in worship for pride and arrogance from the rank of angels, and angels are sinless that’s what makes them angels

“I am better than him he is made from clay I am from fire” notice that even the devil didn’t argue on merit of worship and action he didn’t say I worshipped u 6000 years why should I bow or i abstained from sin for 6000 years ?

Lady be careful ur going down a wrong path with this thinking , good luck, I made my points u can ignore it or take something from it for your own sake 

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54 minutes ago, theEndIsNear said:

U seem to be confused, a chaste woman and a woman who changed her behaviour and repented are equal they are both technically chaste 

but if u think ur better than someone cause u don’t have a past u already have pride hence ur also in sin, pride is worse than adultery, when U think ur better than someone else ur just saying this crumb is better than that crumb

even a prophet who thought himself better than other due to being a prophet would instantly lose their prophethood

same goes for imam

Two Hadith come to mind , prophet yusuf (عليه السلام) when he didn’t get off his horse to greet his father and losing prophethood in his descendants and Musa (عليه السلام) when he was tested where God tells him to go find a person in his ummah that is worse than himself and he return with a rabid dog and gets told if u had brought anyone back prophethood would have been lifted from you immediately 

just goes to show how deadly pride is even if it’s based on I don’t sin or I do more worship than u or I’m this or that or whatever 

u seem way too proud of yourself and you seem to look down upon people 

there is no justification for that action ever , even if U were imam Ali u could never think ur self better , because before God we are all rubbish and all good we have is because of God blessing and all good behaviour is because of God and He can take it away any second we are always in debt to Him

Even prophet Muhammad said you should think 40 good things of a person before u think of one

https://www.al-islam.org/greater-sins-volume-3-ayatullah-sayyid-abdul-husayn-dastghaib-shirazi/thirty-third-greater-sin-pride

https://www.al-islam.org/forty-hadith-an-exposition-second-edition-imam-khomeini/fourth-hadith-pride-kibr

Arrogance and Pride

Amir ul Mu'mineen ‘Ali (‘a) said: "Do not become obstinate (and do not strictly follow your own ideas), because such a one will meet destruction."

Tasnif Ghurar-ul-Hikam, p. 443

Imam Amir ul Mu'mineen (‘a) said: "He who considers himself a great one (self-conceited), is naught with Allah. 

Tasnif Ghurar-ul-Hikam, p. 308 & Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 6, p. 91

Imam Amir ul Mu'mineen ‘Ali (‘a) said: "Two things cause people to be destroyed (and lead unto Hell): fear of poverty, and seeking superiority through pride."

Bihar-ul-Anwar, vol. 72, p. 39

Imam Amir ul Mu'mineen ‘Ali (‘a) said: "You should avoid self-admiration, having reliance upon what appears good in yourself, and love of exaggerated praise because this is one of the most reliable opportunities for Satan."

Ghurar-ul-Hikam, p. 298

Imam as-Sadiq (‘a) said: "He who has even a little arrogance in his heart will not be allowed to enter Heaven."

Al-Kafi, vol. 2, p. 310

 

Do you believe that a man who struggled and suffered to guard his Chastity and Modesty during his entire life in spite of millions of temptations and women who walk around with enticing clothing, voices, messages, films, billboards etc...and no one on his side. Everyone will be against him, is he

equal to the man who enjoyed many girlfriends, mixed parties, flirting, films, magazines, wearing shorts, and having an open life enjoying all the sights and amusements?

 

The Chaste and Modest man is better than the unchaste man, even if they are both Muslim or the unchaste is a revert and has been forgiven.

 

The man and woman who guarded their Chastity and Modesty during their entire life deserve be held in the highest respect by our community and given the highest rewards. 

 

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17 hours ago, Guest anotha brotha said:

Have this discussion before marriage and stress the importance of complete openness and not starting a relationship based on lies and secrets

Jazakallah thats was good advice 

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On 5/19/2021 at 9:00 AM, theEndIsNear said:

sorry to say doesn’t sound like urs is solid yet

Yeah, I get that, that's why I said the following as I'm aware of my issue and am working on it see below. When i understand a topic truly I bulid my faith more and more. I am currently in the process of growing.. and like all things in my past things work out but guess this is just another process for me. Also don't worry about being harsh, reality is reality regardless brother. I apricate it. 

On 5/18/2021 at 4:01 AM, S Hussain said:

guess my main issue is a mixture of trust in Allah, contentment in his will and patience for his sake. 

 

Also In regards to Chaste women etc, the choice I want a Chaste woman is not due to pride but due to social implications (there are a lot), sometimes you have to deal with peoples past, and that is something I sure as hell don't want to be tricked into. i.e. them getting messages and texts from people in the past... I don't want to have to babysit a spouse and tell them who they can and cant talk to.. so my main concern is someone who observes social hijab.... properly. 

Especially in this day and age women don't wanna be told what to wear and what not to wear, who to talk to and who not to... so why not spare myself the concern/arguments and just find someone who doesn't need to be told. and does for her own sake and Allah.

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Not to be disrespectful, but the streets are not a place to find a chaste marriage partner anywhere.

Of course, there are many Chaste Muslim women in Dearborn and Detroit, but they do not cross your path.

Why?

Our Umma is under severe attack from all sides. There is nothing wrong with marrying Chaste Muslim women from one of the countries in peril. Think of the good you can do for her and her family. People forget to think way, but you are free to marry someone from another country. A Mosque can help you find her, you do not need to go there.

 

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17 minutes ago, Tabassum Iman said:

Not to be disrespectful, but the streets are not a place to find a chaste marriage partner anywhere.

Of course, there are many Chaste Muslim women in Dearborn and Detroit, but they do not cross your path.

Why?

Our Umma is under severe attack from all sides. There is nothing wrong with marrying Chaste Muslim women from one of the countries in peril. Think of the good you can do for her and her family. People forget to think way, but you are free to marry someone from another country. A Mosque can help you find her, you do not need to go there.

 

I’m only half serious about the streets. Hmm I don’t mind marrying someone that is in a different country, my concern is the life style of the liberal American female will influence a woman and thus I might as well settled for the untrustworthy hijabi down the street from me. This is all hypothetical. In the end I think im likely just gonna do mutah and give up any notion of having kids. At least then I can just focus on my career and other goals. Good thing I know how to cook lol 

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As your older Sister, I can tell you that mutah can not be made into a habit. You are unhappy with mutah and it is delaying your life.

Dajjal will turn you upside down unless you settle into a stable routine as a married man.

As far as a Muslim woman being influenced by the American liberal female, yes that is a legitimate concern.

The answer has to do to with her religiosity, conviction and that her mind and hijab will not been corrupted by the west.

If you observe the Somali community, you will notice that none of their girls leave the hijab or become immoral in any way in the west.

What is it that the Somali Muslim community does right that we can all learn from?

Keep your new wife close to the Somali community. Go to their mosques. The Somali women will keep your new wife in line.

Talk to some Somali men and tell them your worries. Ask them the best way, because they have succeeded very well and their women are highly respectable.

 If you are looking to start a business, think of starting an Islamic Ahlul Bayt all girls school. Make it strict and excellent education with esteemed reputation.

 

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34 minutes ago, Tabassum Iman said:

As your older Sister, I can tell you that mutah can not be made into a habit. You are unhappy with mutah and it is delaying your life.

Tayyib, guess you're right. I wanted Mutah to lead to Nikka, but these women are ratchet here. Like they get passed around the whole block then pretend that they are innocent. 

35 minutes ago, Tabassum Iman said:

Dajjal will turn you upside down unless you settle into a stable routine as a married man.

 

I wanna meet this dajjal, so I can dust off my AK. 

35 minutes ago, Tabassum Iman said:

The answer has to do to with her religiosity, conviction and that her mind and hijab will not been corrupted by the west.

Maybe I gotta find a niqabi oh boy.

 

36 minutes ago, Tabassum Iman said:

If you observe the Somali community, you will notice that none of their girls leave the hijab or become immoral in any way in the west.

What is it that the Somali Muslim community does right that we can all learn from?

Keep your new wife close to the Somali community. Go to their mosques. The Somali women will keep your new wife in line.

Talk to some Somali men and tell them your worries. Ask them the best way, because they have succeeded very well and their women are highly respectable.

I don't know any Somali's but supposedly there are some here. I'll keep that in mind. 

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